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With noodles boiling on the stove to make Alfredo, Olivia was sitting on the couch staring ahead at the light tan color of the wall in front of her. The cable company wouldn't be to her house for another three days so she was stuck bearing the silence the house had to offer. As she sat on the couch she let her eyes roam to the picture of her and Brian that was hanging on the wall just to her left. They were being silly together and she had decided to take a selfie. Brian had ended up kissing her cheek at the last second causing the photo to turn out perfectly.

Olivia smiled but it quickly melted away when she realized that she would never smile like that again. That day took everything out of her and she kept reliving it.

"You're going to be late," Nick said to her as he walked into her office, "Brian's probably already waiting."

Olivia looked up from the paperwork she was scribbling on and gave him a small smile. "Probably not. I'm almost done." She scribbled another word before dropping her pen and placing the paper into a neat stack on the corner of her desk.

"Have a good time, Liv," Nick said as he grabbed her jacket off the coat hanger and helped her put it on.

"Thanks. See ya'."

Olivia had just stepped out of her office when her desk phone started ringing. She stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes, fighting herself to keep walking and not turn around to answer it. She lost the battle and turned around to pick up the phone. "Manhattan Special Victims Unit, this is Sergeant Benson."

"Olivia..."

Olivia squinted as she tried to recognize the voice on the other line. It took her moment but she eventually made it out to be Jason, Brian's partner at IA. "Jason, what's going on?" Already Olivia had a bad feeling.

"There was an accident."

Olivia looked over to Nick who was now sitting in a chair in front of her desk. He gave her a wondering look.

"What kind of an accident?"

"Brian went undercover tonight and he was made out. We weren't able to get there in time and he was shot. He's at Mercy and they rushed him into surgery. I called you as soon as I could."

Olivia felt all of the air rush out of her body as the phone slipped out of her hand. The world seemed to stop and for a moment she forgot how to breathe. Water filled her eyes.

"Liv? Liv, what's wrong?" Nick was on his feet in a matter of seconds and at her side.

"Brian was shot," she whispered, "I-I need to get to the hospital."

Nick nodded, "I'll take you," he said seeing her distress. He followed her outside and into the parking garage before turning the sirens on and speeding off, needing to get Olivia to the hospital before something awful happened. He wouldn't know what to do if Brian died. He didn't know what Olivia would do. They were finally happy and things were going their way, why was this happening? Nick didn't understand.

When Nick pulled up in front of the hospital Olivia hopped out before the car was even in park. She rushed to the front desk with fear finally over taking her other emotions. "Sergeant Benson," she said frantically as she flashed her badge, "can you tell me anything about Brian Cassidy?"

The receptionist was an elder lady with the wrinkles to show off how many years she had been alive. She was fairly slowly at typing so Olivia tapped on the counter to show her annoyance. "He's been taken to surgery," the lady finally said, "three GSW's."

Olivia felt another blow to the gut at that. Three shots? Where was his backup? Who was suppose to be on standby in case the operation went south? "Three?"

The lady nodded. "I'll have the surgeon know you're here for him. In the meantime there's a waiting room right over there." She pointed to a small room that only had one other person in it, Jason. Olivia walked over to him with her tears threatening to spill.

"How did it happen?" she asked in a whisper.

Jason shook his hand and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "His wire went dead and we couldn't locate him. By the time we found him... he had already been shot three times."

Olivia ran a hand through her hair as Nick came up beside her. "Any news?"

Olivia shook her head no. "He was shot three times..." She turned to look at her partner and close friend as her tears finally flooded her cheeks. "W-what am I going to do? What if he doesn't- oh god."

Nick took Olivia into his arms and soothingly rubbed her back, "he'll make it. He will, Liv."

As the harsh sound of boiling water filled Olivia's ears she pushed the memory out of her head before it could get any worse. She pushed herself off the couch and made her way into the kitchen where she turned the burner off and moved the pan to one that hadn't been used. Suddenly she wasn't hungry anymore.

"Chocolate!" Olivia called before filling his bowl with more dog food. She forced a small smile onto her face as Chocolate trotted up to his bowl and began chowing on his dinner. Olivia scratched behind his ears and then let him be. He was the only man in her life now and she loved him to pieces.

With nothing else to do and being bored out of her mind, Olivia decided to take a small walk outside. She grabbed her favorite gray hoodie and slipped it on before putting her shoes on and heading outside. Her cabin was just on the outskirts of Roseville and trees surrounded her. Too many trees. She made a disgusted face at that. This was way different than New York. At least out here one could see the stars. Olivia looked up at the millions of twinkling lights in the sky. The stars gave her a sense of comfort like somehow everything would end up okay. She knew it was silly so she sighed quietly and headed back in. It was getting too cold out anyway.