Chapter Two
Rachel Simms caught sight of Jack waiting for her outside the exit she had to take to get out of Oncology. She immediately did a right-turn and started marching off in the opposite direction. "Wait, hold on a sec!" Jack called after her. "I need to talk to you."
"What, rubbing my nose in your latest conquest the first time wasn't enough?" Rachel asked bitterly. It was all over the hospital that notorious womaniser Jack Quade had spent the night with someone; people were tripping over themselves to tell her.
"How did you know about that?" he asked.
"Apparently you told your sister and Dan that you were spending the night with the other and they compared notes."
"Ah." That would explain the missed call on his mobile from Rebecca that he hadn't gotten around to returning. And that meant Dan must have told everyone he came across that Jack had lied about who he was spending the night with. Jack scowled at that. He knew he should be used to Dan's gossiping by now, but it still sucked when the man blabbed about his private life. It was none of his business.
"What you do is none of my business, Jack, you made that perfectly clear," Rachel snapped. "You can screw whoever you like."
He hurried after her. "It's Gabrielle," he blurted out. He had intended to break it to her more gently, but she wasn't giving him much opportunity.
She stopped and stared at him for a few seconds, and for a moment, she looked like she was going to cry. It was exactly what Jack had been worried about. Then she tossed her head defiantly. "If she's stupid enough to think spreading her legs for you will get her anywhere, well, that's her problem."
She started walking off again and Jack raced to catch up with her again. "That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you," he said. Geez, you try to do someone a favour and they snap at you. "It's not just a one-night thing. I want to date her. I like her, I care about her. I want to see her again. I'm seeing her tonight, as a matter of fact."
She stopped again, and stared at him, her resolve crumbling. "And you didn't care about me?" she asked.
He shook his head. No point in trying to sugar-coat it. "No."
She stared at this man who had used her and discarded her the next day, humiliating her into quitting, who was now telling her that he had moved onto her boss and friend, worse than that, that he cared about her. She raised her hand and slapped him with all her strength.
He recoiled slightly but took the blow without trying to deflect it. "Feel better?" he asked.
"No."
"You want to try again? You hit worse than my sister, and she's younger than you."
For some reason, the comparison was so ridiculous that she found herself smiling for just a second. "Do I want to know what you did that made her hit you?" she asked.
"Wouldn't go to her stupid Cancer Orphans support group."
"Jack, that's horrible!"
"What? It's a stupid name, she's not an orphan, and secondly, I barely knew our mum. She abandoned me when I was eighteen months old and reappeared when she was dying. I'm sorry if it sounds callous, but I didn't know her, let alone love her. I'm not going to insult her memory and the real grief of all those so-called Cancer Orphans by going along and pretending to feel something I don't."
That actually made sense. "But you love your sister," she mused out loud. She remembered something Erica had said, that she never missed her own brother more than when she saw Jack and Rebecca together, because there was no bond quite like the one between siblings. Jack nodded slightly. They said you could tell the kind of person a man was by the way he treated his younger sister, and that was part of why she didn't understand Jack's behaviour. "Everyone says you're this great guy who treats women with respect – that's why I don't understand the way you treated me. I really liked you, Jack, and I thought you liked me... but all you wanted from me was a warm body, and if that was the case, why didn't you use some common sense and pick some random woman in a bar?"
"I did that too, remember?" he reminded her.
She made a face. "Classy, Jack," she said sarcastically. But she could tell he still felt bad about Mercedes. "That's something else I don't understand. She meant nothing to you, but you still felt bad about what happened – and it wasn't your fault. I can't reconcile this great guy who everyone raves about with the guy who seduced me and discarded me. What happened that you changed so much?"
He hadn't realised now how badly he had hurt her, and how much she needed closure. "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone," he said guardedly.
She was surprised. How bad could it be? "I'm serious," he said when she said as much. "Five people know, including my counsellor." And maybe Erica, but he had never asked Dan if she knew because he wasn't sure he was ready to deal with such a potential betrayal of a confidence. "I wouldn't even tell you if you didn't deserve to know why I treated you that way."
Wow, it had to be serious. "Of course I won't say anything," she said.
He nodded. "Why don't we go grab a drink? I really don't feel like talking about it here."
... "The funny thing is, when Travis first showed up in my life, I just wanted him to go away. I offered to clear out my savings account and send him packing. It didn't seem fair that everything should come back to bite me on the ass after everything that had happened – if I believed in God, I would have thought he'd owe me one already. But when he started to deteriorate, I realised how much he meant to me. He was the only person who really understood what I had gone through. You can't – I mean, you've treated rape victims before, I'm sure, you know the damage that can be done, but – it's not something you can truly understand until you've been through it." Jack shivered despite the fact it was a warm evening and he was wearing a jacket. "Gwen – my counsellor – tells me what I was doing was proving I was straight – look at all the women I've slept with. It made me feel good about myself, for a little while."
Rachel found herself nodding in understanding. Jack was right, she couldn't truly comprehend what he had been through. She had seen kids like him but that wasn't the same as understanding what they had been through. And yet she understood better now what had possessed him to sleep with her and discard her so shabbily. Always looking for that fix to prove he was straight, never truly forgetting both the pain of being raped or the accusations that he had asked for it, that he was secretly gay. To lose the one person who understood what you had gone through – "I know I humiliated you and made you feel dirty and I feel awful about it. I felt awful about it the next day, I just couldn't tell you why. If it's any consolation to you, he made me feel worse dozens of times."
And there it was, the closure she had sought. She had hated him before, but how could she hate someone who had been through so much? He had said it so concisely; he had made her feel dirty, but not nearly as dirty as he had been made to feel on more than one occasion. His actions had been those of a boy trying to prove himself, not a man who didn't care about anything but his own selfish desires. "It's OK, Jack," she said. "I understand – well, as much as anyone can. And you don't have to worry. I won't tell anyone. If you don't mind me asking, who else knows?"
"Dan, Mike, Frank, Gwen, Gabrielle... and now you."He smiled ruefully. "That's how things got started between us last night. We got to talking about personal stuff and I found myself opening up to her. Gwen wasn't impressed," he added. "I wasn't supposed to get involved with someone for at least six months. Too late now."
And it suddenly hit her how much work Jack and Gabrielle were going to have to put into their relationship. He was only just starting his road to recovery, there was a reason this Gwen had recommended against getting involved with anyone too soon. There had been a time Rachel had desperately wanted Jack to feel the way about her that he felt about Gabrielle... but now she wouldn't want to be in the older woman's shoes, knew she didn't have the strength to be involved with someone in the place Jack was right now. She didn't envy either of them.
"I miss her," she found herself admitting. "She was the best boss I ever had. And Frank's not nearly as bad as everyone makes out. Is the ward still in need of nursing staff?" she asked hopefully.
"I thought you didn't trust me."
"I didn't trust you because I didn't understand. I think I can work with you now."
"I'll talk to her," Jack said cautiously. "It's nothing personal but I don't know how she'll cope having you around. I know I'm not happy about having to work with Steve."
"Of course." Now that Jack had brought it up, she envied the older woman even less now. It couldn't be easy, dating someone with Jack's reputation. She had been too infatuated with him at the time to think about it, but now she realised it took a far more secure woman than her to endure the constant talk about Jack's exploits.
Glad that things with Rachel had turned out so well, Jack went back to the hospital to find Frank. "You know, Jack, if you're going to use me and Bec as alibis so you can get laid, you really should let us know," Dan greeted him with a grin when he saw Jack.
Jack scowled at him. "Heard of respecting my privacy?" he asked grumpily, his good mood immediately dimmed.
Dan wiped the grin off his face. "Is everything OK?" he asked when Jack was close enough that he could talk to the doctor without people overhearing. "I mean – I just don't want to see you go down this road again."
"What road?" Jack asked testily.
"Using alcohol and women to deal with your problems," Dan said bluntly. "I was worried about you last night when I realised you weren't with Rebecca. I thought Gwen warned you against this."
"Relax Dan," Jack said gruffly, secretly a little touched that Dan cared. "It wasn't like that. I can't explain it right now but – it wasn't like that. I'm OK. I'm better than OK, really I am. I came in to see Rachel – I was trying to let her down gently before she heard anything through the gossip vine," he added with what Dan had long found to be typical Jack snarkiness.
"Sorry," Dan said, actually feeling bad and wondering how serious Jack was about being OK. He certainly looked much better than he did after one of his all-nights with a carton of beer and a random woman. It made Dan wonder just how random the woman was. He looked tired, but happy. You tended not to get that from a one-nighter with a stranger.
"It's fine," Jack said. "It's done. I just came to see Frank about something."
"Wait, he's not –" Dan started to explain, but Jack was headed towards Frank's office and out of Dan's earshot before he could get the words out...
... "I'm sorry I couldn't make it last night," Steve was saying to Gabrielle at the same time. Frank was off dealing with admin and Zoe was doing rounds, which meant he had found Gabrielle on her own. He was pleased with that. He had felt bad about not being able to take her up on her offer of company last night; if it had been any other night, he would have taken it, but he had known that if he didn't talk to his sponsor after such an experience, it would lead to a bender.
"It's OK, you did what you needed to," Gabrielle said. We all did. She sucked on her bottom lip, sure she could still taste Jack on her mouth – despite the fact Jack had tasted like beer. How come Jack's beer-tasting kisses were so much nicer than Steve's? Possibly because even drunk, Jack actually knew how to kiss and wasn't sloppy and forceful the way Steve was when drunk, but she knew it was more than that. She knew what Jack and she had shared last night was more than the sum of its parts – their being drunk, their being rattled, their needing a connection. She stifled the urge to grin in front of Steve, thinking about the marks she had left on Jack's body – she had never acted like that before, never been so uninhibited, never wanted to cling and bite and scratch like that. And Jack hadn't exactly left her body untouched, either.
She knew people were talking. Thankfully, no-one had made the connection between them. She hoped it would stay that way for a while. She wasn't ready to share what they had with the whole world.
"But you needed me," Steve pressed, wanting her to admit to it.
"I got by," she said dryly. The image of Jack taking her hard and fast from behind in the shower came to mind, and she hoped her make-up covered her blushing.
"I was thinking I could come by tonight," Steve said. "Have dinner, watch a few DVDs... just like old times."
Jack slammed into her, pushing her even harder against the tile wall. She screamed in abandoned ecstasy."I, uh, have plans for tonight," she managed to mumble.
She had plans for tonight? Since when? Gabrielle never did anything. Certainly when they had been together, they had never gone out. Steve conveniently forgot that was largely because he liked staying at home where a bottle of Scotch was cheaper than buying shots at a pub, and Gabrielle's cooking was superior to any pub food. "Another time, then," Steve persisted. "I miss you." He cupped her chin with his hand and pulled it up so she was facing him. She was trembling slightly, and he credited it with his close proximity. He wondered if that was what she had wanted from him last night. He leaned in to kiss her...
And pulled away when the door opened suddenly. "Frank, I –" Jack started. He glowered when he saw Steve with Gabrielle in what looked like a pre-kiss pose. "I was looking for Frank," he said needlessly.
Steve scowled when he saw Jack. Wasn't it the guy's day off? He hadn't liked Jack from the beginning – too full of himself and his Sydney-born-and-bred attitude, too close to Gabrielle for Steve's liking. "He's in admin," Steve said shortly. He could have throttled the younger man when Gabrielle got up out of her seat and made her excuses about seeing her patients. She brushed past Jack, feeling her body burn when their arms touched. She knew Jack was upset. She couldn't blame him. She hadn't encouraged Steve to try and kiss her at all, but she knew if she had caught Jack in the same position with, say, Rachel, she'd be upset too.
She tried to talk to him as he made his exit. "Later," he said. "Not here." He needed time to calm down and he didn't want to make a scene. In his gut, he knew Gabrielle hadn't encouraged Steve to try and kiss her, but that didn't stop him feeling a little jealous. He wanted her all to himself. He didn't want to share, didn't want to think about her being with someone else – having ever been with someone else. He knew that was hypocritical, but he couldn't help the way he felt.
He found Frank dealing with Oliver Marone, and the man was only too happy to be distracted. He didn't remain happy for long, after Jack admitted that he and Gabrielle had spent the night together. If Jack hadn't grown up with a step-mother who's bitter resentment over her husband's infidelities and alcohol abuse gave her a brutal temper, he would have been frightened in the face of Frank's anger. "I thought I told you not to bring your personal life into my ward!" he raged.
"I didn't mean for it to happen, Frank," Jack said, a little indignant that Frank seemed to think he had nothing better to do than lie awake at night thinking of ways to piss Frank off. But then, he couldn't really blame him for thinking that when his past habit of bringing his personal life into work had caused so much havoc. Guiltily, he remembered how Frank's heart attack had been caused by Deanna's manipulations, which she had only been able to pull off having an infatuated and gullible Jack as her back. "It's not what you think. I care about her. I want to date her. I just thought you had a right to know."
"I have a right to be able to depend on my doctors," Frank said grumpily. He still wasn't sure if he had made the right decision, letting Steve come back. And God knew what would happen once Steve found out about Jack and Gabrielle's relationship. The two men hadn't gotten along from day one, and Jack being involved with her would only make things worse.
"Frank, I'm sorry. If I could make things easier, I would." But he could not in all honesty say that he regretted what had happened between him and Gabrielle. "I just wanted you to know. I know I've done the wrong thing by you in the past."
Frank grunted at that, refusing to concede that it was decent of him to do that, and to acknowledge that his behaviour in the past when it came to his personal life hadn't been exemplary. Frank remembered all the aggro that had gone on with Terri Sullivan when any idiot would have known that the two weren't going to make it in the long run (although what Terri, who had otherwise impressed him with her common sense, had thought would happen after she tired of an obviously-infatuated Jack, he didn't know) but it had created a simmering tension between Jack and Nelson that had never really been resolved, and played a part in Terri's eventual decision to leave the country. And the less said about Deanna Richardson, the better. And it was certainly more decent of Jack to be upfront about their relationship that Steve had been about his alcoholism. "If you cause me any trouble – " Frank warned.
"I know, Frank."
"And that includes how Taylor reacts when he finds out – and don't think he'll take it in his stride," Frank added.
"Yes, Frank," Jack agreed, glad to be getting off so lightly. On top of Rachel's acceptance of his new relationship with Gabrielle and her understanding of why he had treated her the way he had, things had gone better than he had expected. He wondered if that was a good sign.
Then he remembered catching Steve trying to kiss his girl and scowled. Frank thought Steve wouldn't take it in his stride? How did he think Jack would feel about Steve hitting on his girl?
Suddenly, all the obstacles they had talked about last night were that little bit more real.
Gabrielle had been hard at work from the second she had arrived home – actually, from the second she had left the hospital. The more she replayed Steve's almost-kiss in her head, the worse she felt for Jack and she wanted to make it up to him. She had dropped by a lingerie store on her way home and bought the kind of nightie she would never had dreamed of wearing before (no matter how Steve pestered) – red satin with a black lace trim and a black satin dressing gown tied loosely around her waist. She felt exposed and excited at seeing his reaction.
She worked on dinner while she waited for him – she had heard him say more than once that Dan's diet consisted of TV meals and two-minute noodles, so she bet it had been a long time since someone had made him a decent home-cooked meal. It was their first 'proper' night together – not counting their impromptu liaison last night – and she wanted to make him feel special. Especially after what he had walked in on. Not that it had been anything, and not that she would have let Steve kiss her if he'd actually managed it, but she still felt bad. Jack wasn't the type to just take it when other men paid attention to his girl.
There was a knock on the door at half past six, and she went to get it. There he was, freshly showered and in different clothes to what he had been wearing today at the hospital. He hadn't been working, so he wouldn't have gotten dirty, which must mean that he had showered and changed just for her. That was sweet. She smiled at him, taking in his appearance, thinking how cute his hair looked when it was wet and spiky. "You look... great," he said huskily when he took in what she was wearing. He wondered if it was new. It didn't seem like the type of thing she wore.
He followed her into the kitchen. "Something smells good," he said appreciatively. "It's been a while since someone did me a home-cooked meal." She squirmed with pleasure at that. She had been right and she had made him happy. She stood facing the counter and Jack stood behind her, her back against his chest, his hands on her hips. "Is there anything I can help you with?" he asked. She shook her head and leaned back into him, enjoying the sensation of hips lips on her neck.
"Jack..." she murmured as his fingers started tracing random pattern across the slinky material of her nightie. She could feel the heat of his movements through the thin material as if she were naked. She had known that last night's chemistry had just been about two bodies needing to prove that they were alive, but she hadn't realised until now just how hot she was for him. She couldn't believe she had gotten through the day without his touch. "I missed you," she said.
It was exactly the thing he needed to hear. "Yeah?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"I missed you, too." And to prove it, he thrust his crotch against the small of her back so she could feel his erection pushing against her.
"Jack!" she admonished him. "I'm trying to prepare dinner."
"Dinner can wait. I have other appetites." She had no doubt that was true. Jack moved his hands from her stomach up her arms and tugged at the thin straps of her nightie. She figured there was nothing to do but go along with what he wanted – not that she had much inclination o resist him. He pulled the material down slowly, brushing his fingertips along her skin as he bared it until she was whimpering softly. He hadn't even kissed her properly yet, but who needed kisses when you had someone who knew how to touch like Jack?
Pulling the material down to expose her breasts, he caressed her sensually until she was doing more than whimpering. "Jack, please..."
He nibbled on her ear. There was something intoxicating about making her plead that went beyond the usual desire to know he had a woman wanting it so bad she would beg. He knew part of it came from the childish urge to know he was a better man than Steve, but he made himself feel better by reminding himself that it was about a conquest, it was about how he felt about her. That he was proving himself to be a better man than Steve was just the icing. "You want me?" he asked teasingly.
"I want you," she breathed. "Oh, god, Jack, I want you." She couldn't believe it was her voice saying those words. So brazen. She didn't care, especially when Jack moved his hands away from her breasts and down her body to the hem of the skimpy nightie and pulled it up a few inches so expose the tiny black lace g-string that matched the outfit. Before she was fully aware of what was happening, he had pulled it down her thighs and from there, gravity took care of the rest. The scrap of material was soon at her feet. "Jack." She was panting now, her own urgent. She was glad she had her back to him, because she wasn't sure she could face him given how wanton she felt right now... even if he was the cause of it.
It was all he could do not to take off his pants and bury himself inside her, but that would be selfish, and there was no fun in being selfish. His brought his fingers between her thighs and penetrated her, first slow and shallow, going deeper and faster as the seconds went by. He kept his free arm tightly around her waist as she began bucking against him, putting in a decent effort given she was wedged between his body and the kitchen counter. Screaming his name, she climaxed and would have collapsed if it wasn't for his supporting arm.
He didn't give her time to recover. Swiftly unzipping his pants and yanking them down along with his boxers, he plunged into her from behind. It was then that he realised he wasn't really in control either. The day had seemed to go on forever, especially when compounded with his feelings of jealousy. He thrust hard and fast, his fingers working as frantically between her thighs as he was behind her and it wasn't long before they climaxed together. "You're mine," he grunted possessively as he spilled himself inside her.
The initial frenzied need past, he helped her back into her g-string and pushed her nightie and gown back into place, turning her around and hugging her, kissing her chastely on the top of the head. "You're mine," he repeated, though far more gently.
"I know," she agreed contentedly.
He hugged her for a minute or so, then pulled away. "I'm going to have a shower," he said.
"Jack! You can't be serious!"
He looked at her blankly for a second. "Oh, that. No, I really do need a shower." She would soon realise that showering after sex was a compulsive need ingrained for over fifteen years that wasn't going to be fixed overnight. He flashed her a cheeky grin. "But I do like showering with you, and I won't be hungry for a while." And with that he sauntered off.
"Cheeky bugger," Gabrielle muttered, watching him walk off as if he owned the place after just one night. Maybe she should try hitting him up for rent, when was likely to be spending a lot of nights here. Then realising he was perfectly serious about having a shower, she followed him. He was right. Dinner could wait.
After a shower and dinner, they spent a few hours thrashing around in bed before they were tired and she snuggled into his arms. It was only then that she had the courage to bring up what he had seen that afternoon. "I'm sorry about what you saw," she said. "Between me and Steve, I mean. I had no idea he was going to try that. I didn't encourage him at all."
"I know that."
"You don't sound like you know it," she said warily.
He sighed. "I get it in my head, Gabs. But there's a difference between knowing in my head that you're not that kind of person and never will be and actually seeing that he obviously still has feelings for you with my own eyes. It's a lot harder to deal with in reality that was last night." Last night, when they had still been partially drunk and wrapped up in each other's arms and feeling like there were no other lovers in the world and never had been. "You should tell him, you know. About us."
"Jack... I don't want to dump this on him so soon into his recovery." It hadn't been until today that she had realised how slim a hold Steve had on sobriety. She knew she shouldn't been surprised, it had been less than three months since he had quit drinking. She was proud at how well he had dealt with yesterday's trauma, and aware now at how easy it would have been to slip back o his old ways at the first sign of trouble.
"Gabs, Steve is in the same position as Rachel is except despite what I might think of the guy, he deserves a heads-up more than she does, more than Frank does. You know how you'd feel if the situation was reversed."
She knew. But she also knew she was far stronger emotionally to handle such a bombshell. "Just... give it a while," she pleaded. "Let's see where this is going before we tell him anything."Jack reluctantly agreed. "Before I tell him anything," she corrected, realising it was hardly fair to conscript Jack into any talk with Steve after he had confronted both Rachel and Frank on his own. Which reminded her – "How did things go today?"
"Better than I expected," he said, explaining Frank's response. "And I ended up telling Rachel about what happened to me." He shrugged when Gabrielle questioned if that was such a great idea. "It was the only way she was going to get closure, to understand what was going through my head at the time – and I treated her like shit, I owed her closure. She took it well. I think she got that I'm not an easy person to date. I would have made her even more miserable than I did avoiding her," he added, laughing ruefully. "Actually, she misses working in the ward. She misses you too, ironically enough. She wanted to know if you needed temp."
"What did you say?"
"I said it was up to you. I know I don't like being in the same room as Steve so I'm not about to try and make you do the same thing just 'cos I feel like I owe her one."
"Maybe I'm more mature than you," she teased.
"Maybe."
" Honestly, I miss her too. It was nice having a nurse around my own age who wasn't busy being disgustingly in love all the time," she said. "I was furious with you when she left 'cos of you."
"Yeah? Looks like you've forgiven me," he teased, smiling, his eyes sparkling. God, but there was nothing like watching his face light up like that and it gave her a thrill to know she could make him do that. "You think you can handle it, get her in for a shift or two. If you can't, I don't think she'll hold it against you."
"I'll talk to her then," she decided. She cuddled up closer to him. Things had gone better than they had both expected.
"I was thinking, we should go on a date," Jack said after a few minutes of companionable silence.
She had to laugh at that. "We've spent the last two nights in a row together, I think it's a bit too late for a first date."
"It's never too late," he said indignantly. "I want to date you, Gabs. I don't want it to be just about sex."
She was speechless at that. From what he had said last night – friendship, loyalty, fidelity. He'd never said anything about dating. She hadn't realised he was that serious, and it gave her a thrill. "OK," she agreed, suddenly feeling as shy as he had been when she'd been sixteen and Steve had first asked her out. "You got anything in mind?"
"A few things," he said. He knew that despite living here for over a year now, she'd barely seen Sydney. "I'll surprise you."
She liked the sound of that. And so ended their second night together.