A/N: Thank you for all the reviews for the first chapter of this story. Sorry that I don't always get to reply personally but I do appreciate all your comments. And a special thank you to Jedi Skysinger for her BETA skills on this and the last chapter.
For those of you who were asking about my other stories, there will be new chapters coming soon for Aiden, Dodging Raindrops and possibly Who We Once Were.
BEHIND BLUE EYES
Part Two
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The work tops in the kitchen were covered in a good inch of dust and long wispy cobwebs hung from the ceiling and off the two old wall cabinets. There was a cracked enamel sink in front of the window, which was so filthy barely any light could shine through.
"Do you think it's wise leaving Madeline and Charlie in the other room?" Fiona hissed, her eyes going to the door which Sam was leaning against with his ear pressed to the wooden surface. "If -"
"Mike's gonna be waking up soon. If we're in there and confront him head on, he'll fight back. We need to keep things as calm as possible," Sam replied as he continued to eavesdrop on what was happening on the other side of the door.
"Sam's right, Fi," Jesse added. "Mike's been brainwashed by James. We can't be talking smack to him while we're trying to get his head outta—"
"Talk?" Fiona couldn't believe that that was the plan. As far as she could see, Michael was well past their being able to talk him round. "Sam, you tried talking to him and look what happened."
"But he won't be able to get away this time. There's nowhere left for him to go. We've already ruined any plans he had on going back to James," the older man replied and then, with a sigh, he turned his attention fully onto the auburn haired woman. "Look, this whole thing was your idea, sister. I'm just trying to make sure we all get outta this in one piece. Besides, Maddy insisted she was going to be the one to talk to Mike first."
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
Slowly, inch by inch, Michael pushed opened the door to the room he had woken up in, just enough so he could see what, or rather who, was on the other side. But when he did, he blinked and rubbed at his eyes.
How could they do this? Bring a child into this...?
Charlie sat cross legged on the floor, less than ten feet from where he stood. The little boy was playing with his large plastic dinosaurs. He had one in each hand and they were fighting, the three-year-old making the noises to accompany the battle.
"Try telling that to Nate! The people who killed your brother thought they were doing good, too."
Sam's words flashed into his mind along with some other things he would rather forget.
The innocence in the boy's large brown eyes, the way his thick bangs hung down over his forehead, it all reminded Michael of his own baby brother, Charlie's father, Nate.
"I would have never taken that shot," had been one of the many excuses made by Tom Card, the one which had sealed his old training officer's fate.
The dark haired spy rested his head against the edge of the door frame, a chill running down his spine as other memories continued to whirl around in his drug hazed mind. All of a sudden, he could taste and smell the cheap alcohol he had used to block out the wreck he had made of his life. He could feel the burning need to take a drink so he could forget what was happening - what he had become.
"This mission is getting out of control. Strong, you need to talk to your people at the CIA, make them understand I can't do this."
He had stood over the sleeping shape of a little girl, holding a gun to her head. One word from Burke and he would have had to take the shot or risk losing not only his life, but that of his friends and his mother.
"Michael, calm down. I know you're upset."
"Upset?" he'd echoed in disbelief. "Burke almost had me kill a child." Surely once the CIA knew, once they knew what he had nearly had to do to save the mission, they would understand.
But Strong hadn't understood, or he hadn't cared. He hadn't cared that a child had nearly died or that his agent was close to breaking.
"You can, you have to. You know as well as I do it's not just your ass on the line if this mission goes south. Michael, do you understand?"
Burke had used the threat of killing a child to get the father to talk. Strong had as good as told him if he had to kill a child, the CIA had no problem with that. And now were Fiona and Sam using the same tactic? Were they putting Charlie in his path, daring him to kill a child...?
He blinked. No, there was something else going on. There had to be something else going on.
He couldn't afford to wait around. Taking his eyes off his nephew, who continued to play, Michael peered further into the room towards the single window and saw the shutters were closed and the room was lit by oil lanterns hanging high up on the walls.
He must have missed the hand over with James. The dark haired spy looked at the tan line on his wrist where his watch should have been. Did they know what they had done? Did his so-called friends know they had ruined everything?
Opening the door, he cautiously stepped into the room and that was when he saw his mother sitting in the corner of the room with a book on her lap.
"Mom? What's going on?" He scanned the room, wondering where everybody else was hiding.
"Michael, you're awake."
She tried to smile, but he had seen that same look before. It was the one that she used to plaster on her face when his dear old Dad walked through the door after being out on a tear. "S-Sam said you'd be thirsty." She held out a bottle of blue Gatorade, her hand trembling.
He curled his lip, dismissing her concern. Instead he moved towards the shuttered window and the door.
"Where are we?"
"How about something to eat?" Madeline smiled nervously. "There's yogurt in the cooler."
Enough of this!
He spun around and crossed the room, pulling his mother up on to her feet. "Mom, this is important. How long have we been here? And where the hell is here?"
"Michael..." Madeline's blue eyes, so much like her son's, were wide with fear. But the inner steel which had stopped her from breaking when her husband had been alive now gave her the strength to stand up to her son. She got her breathing under control and returned his gaze levelly as he dropped his grip.
"Mom, I mean it, how long?" He folded his arms over his chest and glared down at her.
"You've been asleep for a full day... Honey, we're all so worried about you." She reached out to tenderly stroke his cheek, but he jerked his head out of the way.
"Do you have any idea -?" He shook his head. It was pointless berating her. She didn't have a clue what was really going on.
"I had men sitting outside my home, Michael, watching my every move. I had men inviting themselves into my house! I think I have some idea what sort of people you were working with."
"That was for your protection," he snapped back. "James was -"
"Just trying to look out for me?" she finished his sentence for him, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, please-"
"Unca Mike?"
Charlie's voice was little more than a whisper. He had heard a lot of raised voices in his short life. It was a sound he related to losing somebody. His mom and dad had screamed at each other and then his daddy had gone. Then his mommy had shouted at everybody because she had been so sad and he had tried his best to be good, but she had left him too. And now Uncle Mike and Grandma were fighting...
Tears welled in his eyes and, as the first sob came from his mouth, the adults froze.
"Don' go, I be good. Don' go."
Michael looked down at the child clutching at his leg with something akin to horror. How could they put him in this position? They knew how he felt about his brother's son… what the hell was wrong with them?
He sunk down to the toddler's level and looked into his big brown moisture filled eyes. He looked so much like Nate, it hurt to look at him. "I have to go, to keep you and Grandma safe. Do you understand?"
Madeline came over and swept her grandson into her arms, cradling him against her body. Her eyes no longer held fear but were filled with fire. "He is three years old, Michael. All he understands is that you want to leave us."
"I'm doing this for you," he spat back. "If Fiona - if you had all just left me alone, all this would be over already. You've ruined everything!"
"Michael!" She called out as he walked towards the door. "Michael, I don't want to lose my only son."
He turned and glanced back at her, his hand twisting the knob the catch clicking open. "You're not going to lose me, but you have to stay away from me and let me do what has to be done."
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
When he pushed on the door, he was surprised when it opened so easily. Stepping outside, he expected to find either Sam, Fiona or Jesse or maybe all three of them on guard duty. But instead he found himself all alone on a rickety wooden porch, staring out at what looked to be miles of swampland surrounding the house.
Walking cautiously all the way around the wrap around porch, the spy discovered an airboat tied to a post; however, when he checked out the vehicle, he discovered the spark plugs and leads missing, making the vehicle useless.
Massaging the bridge of his nose, Michael fought against the headache building behind his eyes. Then abruptly he turned to go back inside.
"Mom, please, where are we?" he demanded, as he snatched up the Gatorade and took a long gulping drink from the bottle.
Madeline, who still held Charlie in her arms, watched her son warily. "Louisiana, a friend of Sam's -"
"And where is Sam?"
"I'm right here, Mikey... So are Fi and Jesse."
Mr Westen turned to stare at his friends as they filed quietly into the room. The covert operative noticed how they spread out, making it impossible to take them all on at once. Sam was nearest the door leading to the outside, Jesse by the shuttered window and Fiona close to where Madeline stood in the corner of the room with Charlie, who sensing the tension amongst the adults, clung to his grandmother.
"We're sorry we drugged you, but we need to talk." Jesse spoke first, his voice soft and serious.
"What you need to do is let me go... You all have no idea what you've done," Michael replied, his tone icy cold. "Where's my phone?"
"Sorry, Mike, but no phone calls, and you're not leaving until you're thinking straight." Sam held up a hand as his best friend glared at him.
It was like they had captured a wild animal which was just waiting for the first opportunity to pounce.
"Sam told us that you're with James now," Fiona added, trying to deflect her formers lover's ire. "That you've turned your back on us all."
Him turning his back?
Hadn't she turned her back on him first? Hadn't she told him it was over? Hadn't she enjoyed her open displays of affection with her Latin lover? His lip curled and the look he sent was filled with pure disdain.
"Regardless of what you think you know, I did this for you, for all of you. Do think the CIA would keep their word and let you all walk away? Don't you realize they probably have another mission waiting for me when this one is over? And your heads will still be on the chopping block just to keep me in line."
He had spent his entire life using people as assets for the CIA and now they were returning the favor. He wasn't an agent, he was their asset. They would use him, use his friends… it would have never ended.
"You made a deal," Jesse answered.
Michael laughed, the sound sending shivers up the collective spines of those watching how close to becoming unhinged their friend was. "They used Simon! They started making deals with him as soon as he was thrown in prison. The C.I.A. has no honor. They believe in nothing... I was nothing more than a weapon to them... Well, not any more. Now I'm gonna be the one calling the shots." He rounded on Sam. "So you better step out of my way." He then glared at Fiona and Jesse. "That means the both of you, too."
He paused, watching warily as his mother and nephew exited the room and with great effort brought himself back under control. The dark haired man looked at the tense, worried expressions on his collection of former friends.
"What was this supposed to be? An intervention?" he snorted derisively and then sighed heavily. "I need to get back to Miami and repair the damage you've caused."
"There's no going back, buddy." Sam blocked the door, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for a fight. He took a breath and then continued, noting that Fiona and Jesse were moving into position for the expected explosion.
"We'd put a tracker on you. So, before we left Miami, I took your phone and sent Strong a text message telling him you were at an old building in the Everglades about seven miles from Pearl Bay... From what I heard, Strong has Sonya in custody."
"WHAT? What the hell have you done?" The dark haired spy stepped forward his hands curled into fists, the last vestiges of friendship falling from his eyes. What had they done? Sonya, Sonya in CIA hands... James! James was going to blame him for this betrayal.
His heart was beating wildly as his mind tried to wrap itself around what these people who claimed to care about him had done to his carefully laid plans.
"I – I had it all under control." Michael's voice, low and deadly, was more frightening than his previous outburst. "You—"
Before Sam's former best friend could launch his attack on the ex-SEAL, Jesse came up behind him, wrapping his arms around the furious spy's waist, pinning his arms down to his side. The younger man was stuck doing his best to keep hold as his captive used every trick he knew to break the grip around his middle, which was not only pining his arms, but squeezing the breath out of his lungs too.
Finally though, Michael stopped struggling, realizing that even with a broken nose from where he had caught Jesse in the face with the back of his head, the shaven haired former CIFA agent was the stronger man and had no intention of willingly letting him go.
"Mike, Mike, look at me, brother... If he has any sense, James is long gone. Sonya is locked away in a deep dark hole somewhere... It's over... And we ain't leaving here until we're sure you're thinking straight." Sam tried to reason with his friend, but the dark haired spy stared sullenly into space.
With a sigh, Sam pointed towards the door to the room Michael had woken up in. "Jess, put him back in there... Fi, grab the cooler."
Mr Porter force marched the ex-Ranger towards that door. He took it as a good sign that the man in his grip hadn't tried to kill him in his attempts to escape thus far. As soon as Jesse released his grip, the younger man shoved the older man down onto the bed and speedily backed away.
"You've got drinks and a few yogurts in there to keep you going... Just think things through and you'll see what we've done is the right thing." The navy man lingered just inside the room.
Finally, Michael looked Sam straight in the eye. "What you've done... What you've done is set James against us all. He was going to sacrifice himself to keep you all out of CIA prison. He was doing it for me. Now – now he'll hunt us all to the ends of the Earth and, as for the C.I.A, they wanted James and they didn't get him... I'd say they're going to be looking for us too... I hope you're all happy."
"Strong has Sonya and a whole lotta their guys," Sam answered, keeping his cool. "So, I think the CIA will at least be willing to listen to what we have to say... But that doesn't really matter. When you went off with the CIA, one of the first things we all did once we were sure they weren't watching us too closely was get fresh, top-of-the-line fake IDs. We even arranged one for you." He paused to let the words sink in before finishing. "I don't want to run. None of us do. We all had lives back in Miami. But if it comes down to knowing the only reason we have our nice safe lives in Miami is because you've destroyed your soul... Well, I for one couldn't live with that. I know you think you're saving us, Mike, but the price is too high. We stuck together when it was the CIA hunting us all, brother. We're not walking away from you now."
The former SEAL waited, hoping for a response. But when none came, he backed out of the room and closed the door. Wiping a hand over his eyes, he stared at his other friends. "All we can do now is wait."
"For how long?" Fiona demanded.
"As long as it takes... You didn't think this would be easy did you?"
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
()()()
Merry Christmas, Burners!