The Prince and the Heir

======› Watch, the Curious Knight and Sylph

Humans were quite possibly the strangest creatures Karkat had ever met, but nothing about them puzzled him quite so much as their courtship techniques.

Seriously, what the fuck was John doing? That could not possibly be proper dating procedure. It was far too stupid, even for John.

Karkat stood just outside the doorway of the kitchen and glared at the apron-clad human boy as he laughed softly and flicked flour into the face of the taller human teen named Dirk. He wanted so badly to say something, but his throat felt like it'd been scrubbed raw with sandpaper and even breathing was agonizing, so talking wasn't exactly something he felt up to at that moment. (Incidentally, his sore throat was what brought him to the kitchen to begin with, as Rose and Kanaya had both advised him to go make a cup of hot tea.)

He nearly groaned out loud when Dirk grabbed a handful of flour and tossed it onto John, sending a cloud of white powder raining down on him. Rather than get angry, as Karkat expected him to, John only laughed harder and gently scolded Dirk for wasting baking materials. (If it could even be called scolding, the way the idiot couldn't stop grinning up at the taller human.)

Sweet jeegus, Karkat was going to force John sit down and marathon romcoms with him the next chance he got. It was borderline painful just watching the two of them try to flirt.

"Karkat, what are you doing?"

Karkat turned and gestured for Kanaya to be quiet before waving her over to get her opinion on the spectacle unfolding before his eyes. She raised an eyebrow but acquiesced, silently stepping over to his side to take a look at whatever was clearly troubling him so badly that he refused to go into the kitchen. Her painted lips quirked upwards in a sweet smile when she turned her eyes upon the scene of Dirk gently washing the flour from John's face using a wet washrag.

"And here I thought you'd outgrown your voyeuristic habits," she murmured teasingly.

Karkat's cheeks flushed with color and sucked in a breath to make a retort, only to wince at the sharp pain that flared up in his throat. He settled for glaring at her and crossing his arms over his chest.

Kanaya cocked her head to the side, watching curiously as the two human teens resumed their activity of mixing cookie dough. Every now and then, when he didn't think John was looking, Dirk would smile fondly at him, only to look away with a slight blush the moment blue eyes turned towards him. John would do much the same, except he could duck his head to hide the ever-present smile on his face.

Karkat had though that maybe Kanaya would be just as puzzled by the two of them as he was, but when he glanced over at her he found not an expression of confusion but one of curiosity mingled with affection. He frowned and gently swatted at her arm to get her attention, raising an eyebrow once she was looking at him. With any luck, she would be able to understand his silent gestures. (Gog damn, he couldn't wait until his stupid throat stopped hurting so he could talk without feeling like he was being stabbed repeatedly in the esophagus with razor blades.)

"I think they're rather sweet," Kanaya said quietly. "They're much better than they used to be. Although…"

Karkat impatiently tapped his foot on the floor while waiting for her to finish her thought.

Kanaya's face took on a more playfully devious expression that made Karkat want to flee. "I wouldn't use them as an example of what to do when you try to woo Jade."

Sore throat be damned, Karkat couldn't stay quiet after that remark.

"I AM FUCKING NOT!"

End Chapter