Part 2 - Happy Dayz Daycare
The next day, brian was driving stewie to daycare.
"hey brian, how was your sleep last night?" asked Stewie
"Ok i guess. i had this weird dream where lois and i were having sex." said brian
"doing it doggie style?" asked Stewie
"actually missionary style." said Brian
"ugh, thats a scarier thought than the fat man guest starring on baywatch."
(Cutscene)
Peter was standing in a pair of red speedos next to C.J. Parker and Mitch Buchannon.
"Shark! Shark!" yelled a girl in the water
"i'll save you!" yelled peter
"no wait, he swam away." said the girl
Peter ran into the water anyway and beat up the shark, and brought the breathing,
alive girl to shore.
"Ok, the sharks gone, i'm ok now!" said the girl
"hang on, i gotta do some CPR!" said Peter
Peter began doing CPR on the girl, laying right on top of her. much to the shock of C.J.
and Mitch
"Peter, you're crushing her!" said C.J.
"shut up! you're distracting me!" peter yelled at C.J.
peter's weight completely crushed the girl.
"uh-oh, i think she's deflated. C.J! blow her back up!" said Peter
"peter, you can't just blow up a person!" mitch chimed in
"blow her back up!" peter yelled at C.J.
C.J. Parker grabbed the girl, and tried doing C.P.R. on her.
"Man, this is hot." said Mitch
"Squeeze her boobs, that might help." said Peter
(End cutscene)
"Did you have any dreams last night?" asked brian
"nothing out of the ordinary." said Stewie
"ok, we're here. happy dayz Daycare." said brian
"quite right. time for me to go cause trouble for all the children in there." said Stewie
"you sure the catholic priest in front won't do enough?" asked brian
"oh, that's marvin, he's the janitor. bit of an odd fellow, isn't he?" asked Stewie
"he looks like the same priest peter did communion with." said Brian
(cutscene)
peter walks up to the communion table.
"this juice represents the blood of jesus, this piece of bread represents his
body." said the priest, handing the 2 objects to peter.
peter took a long pause.
"Can i get fries with that?" he asked
(end cutscene)
back home, lois was cooking up some food. chris and meg were in the livingroom.
brian rolled up in the driveway.
"i'm home." said brian
"hey." said everyone at once.
"so brian, did stewie behave himself on the way there?" asked lois
"ya, he was behaving himself. i'm just worried about that daycare's staff." said Brian
"why so?" asked Lois
"they hired a catholic priest to be the janitor there." said Brian
"so, whats wrong with a catholic priest doing that?" asked Lois
"Lois, it's a daycare. little boys." said Brian
"oh my god! my little stewie with a catholic priest! what if he does something to stewie?" asked lois
"i don't think you've gotta worry about it." said Brian
Back at the daycare, stewie was playing with blocks. Marvin walked up to him.
"hey little guy, mind if i clean the floor here?" asked marvin
"mind if i say the virgin mary was a whore?" asked Stewie
"what! what naughty language!" said marvin
"oh really? do you honestly think that the virgin mary was so pure! she wasn't married and she had a baby!"
"oh yah?" marvin was slightly enraged.
"Yes! and whoever wrote the book of luke forgot to mention they both went on maury!"
(Cutscene)
"joseph, i have a confession to make. Jesus may not be your baby!" said mary
"well no kidding! we ain't ever had sex before!" replied joseph
"So joseph, if you're the father of 6 month old jesus, you're going to be part of that
baby's life?" said maury
"you know what maury, i gon' be a big part o' that baby's life, i gon' be a good daddy! i ain't gon' be like that abraham guy!"
up in the sky, god looked down on mary and joseph
"oh come on! nothing really happened to isaac!"
(end cutscene)
"Thats it, little boy. you're in trouble. i'm telling monica." said marvin
"go do it you puss-bellied inbred apple-neck! tell monica!" said stewie
Marvin ran over to monica, Stewie's Daycare lady.
"monica, Stewie just insulted my religion!" said Marvin
"marvin, we agreed that while you came here you were not going
to force feed these children your beliefs." said monica
"but...but i wanna save these children!" said marvin
"from what? open minded thinking? you're fired! go!" monica ordered marvin out.
as marvin walked away from the premises, Brian and lois came walking in.
lois introduced herself to monica.
"Hi, i'm lois griffin, i'm stewie's mom." said Lois
"i'm monica, i run the Daycarel." said Monica
Brian looked at monica and was stunned by her beauty. her long blonde hair and
her cute glasses combined with navy slacks and a white shirt.
"oh, you look like you're having a bad day." said lois
"i just fired my catholic janitor. it's going to be hard finding someone to replace
him. it's a volunteer job." said Monica
"I'll take it!" brian chirped in
"oh! whats your name?" asked Monica
"Brian griffin." said brian
"Brian, you're a lifesaver!" monica hugged brian
Brian thought to himself "Jackpot."