AN: Thank you to bookluver07, charhamblin, ILoveVikings, Ethereal88, erin1705, Missybdg, sluggysmom, ljhjelm49, pinkygirl01, paige45, Bite me Eric, brianna94, ericsmine, the anonymous reviewer, the other anonymous reviewer, TeaCupHuman, Alex obvs (lexi-myrnin is her penname), electragirl, ChickiesMom, suzyq59, maegansmom, BlahBlahVampireEmergencyBlah, katieBNorthman, s., AlphabetSoup, theoneandonlykenna, Faegoodness, Lisabud, Vamplover669 and TB-ChelyK for reviewing xx I am absolutely over whelmed with the amount of reviews and I hope they will keep on coming; I love reviews, I always look forward to reading them all :D xx
ALL RIGHTS GO TO CHARLAINE HARRIS!
Chapter two
Sookie's POV
Out of all of the things I have ever seen in my life, I have never seen someone as stupid as this man. First of all he gets drunk off his ass, then he accepts a dare and he actually went ahead with the dare and now has his penis stuck in a glass bottle. I don't even know how he managed to get his penis in there; he is absolutely huge! Is it even possible for someone to be that large? He must be like ten inches long. I'm surprised he can fit that gracious plenty into a girl, let alone a glass bottle, but he must be able to seeing as he has a girlfriend. Well, I don't know that for certain, but someone has handsome as he is must have girls throwing themselves at him. Therefore he must have a girlfriend; either that or he is a complete player. And I have met no end of players in my time, so I know exactly what they're like.
And I know that he must be one, either that or he's stupid; maybe he's both.
"Hmm, asking for my number before my name? Now that never is a good sign" I shake my head at him before offering him a grin.
"A beautiful woman like you, I could probably guess your name easily" he smirks, obviously trying to charm me but I think he just looks desperate.
"I'd like to see you try" I challenge him as I place my hands on my hips and raise an eyebrow. This should be funny; I would love to see what names he comes up with.
"I think you look like a Lucy" he guesses, making me try my hardest to stifle my giggles. He couldn't be further away.
"And what makes you think my name is Lucy?" I probe him as I flick through his chart, I already know his name.
"Because it's simple" he says simply.
"You think I'm simple?" now that got my anger boiling.
"What? No, I…uh…oh fuck" he groans, all I do for response to his idiocy is walk out of the door. He'll have to work harder than that if he wants my number.
Eric's POV
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I shouldn't have said that, but I refuse to give up. She will be mine, I will get her in my bed or my name isn't Eric Northman. Usually all I have to do is smile at a woman and she drops her panties for me, but this woman; God, this woman is so difficult. I have tried flirting with her, I've tried charming her, I've even tried my famous guess the name game and she still isn't biting. If any other nurse had come in I probably would have had them on the bed begging me to take them, although that would be hard considering my little...err…problem. I still can't believe I got my dick stuck in a bottle. How the fuck did I even manage to get it in there?
All I can say is thank God Pam isn't here, she would be pissing herself laughing while coming up with every penis joke she can think of. Stupid fucking sister. She's the sister I never wanted, but still ended up getting because my God damn parents wanted another child. She makes me look like a douche bag; she's like the perfect child in their eyes. Apparently she is the best thing to ever happen to them, I wonder what they would do if they knew she was more of a party animal than I am. She gets drunk and fucks random women on a regular basis. Yes, my sister is a lesbian and yes, that is the only thing we have in common when it comes to our personalities. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister; I don't know what I would do without her, but she can be a pain in the fucking ass sometimes.
I look down at Jr and groan as the weight of the glass bottle really starts to take its toll. Just to help loosen some of the strain I place a pillow on my thigh where I let my weenie in a bottle rest on it. Ah, that's better. With a smile on my face I lie back on the bed as I try to think of other ways I can seduce Nurse Stackhouse. First things first, I need to find out her name. Now how do I do that?
"Sookie, baby, come on. You know you want me!" I hear someone shout just before the door slings open and Nurse Stackhouse storms in with a face like death.
"Are you angry?" I inquire as I sit up, her glare shooting my way.
"Does this look like my version of a happy face?" she retorts just as two people come into the room with one of those bed cart things that they use to transport patients around the hospital. It must be my time to head to a cubical.
"Sorry" I hold my hands up in surrender, only pissing her off further. I really am not getting anywhere with her. But, hey, I'm never one to give up.
"Mr Northman, we're just going to get you onto this bed cart and then we will take you to your cubical. I'll give your penis a quick check over to make sure it's still getting plenty of circulation" oh, it definitely is. But I better watch myself, if I carry on thinking about some of the thoughts going on in my mind that involve me and Sookie, well, let's just say that this bottle could be mistaken for a full mayonnaise jar. Just a very different styled one…
"Mr Northman? Did you hear me at all?" she probes as she stares at me annoyed. Fuck, I must have blanked out.
"Sorry, my mind got distracted" I smile at her, making her roll her eyes.
"Hmm, well I can clearly see why" she mumbles as she looks over to the nurse who is fluffing the pillow that is supporting my cock. She is hot, I will admit. Chestnut brown hair, bright blue eyes and giant knockers. Yep, I can definitely see the appeal.
"I said that after I check the circulation to your penis, I'll start prescribing you with some drugs that should take the edge of the pain away. Providing that you are feeling any" she tells me as she gets up close and personal with Jr. Her fingertips grazing over my balls where I hiss at the contact. If she kept that up then, well, let's just say that I'll be in a hell of a lot more pain that I was before. Just fucking looking at her makes me hard. I could kill for a cold shower right about now.
"We'll have to get you changed into a hospital gown before Dr Quinn comes to have a look at you" she tells me as she walks along side of the bed cart as they move me through the hospital.
"Can I have a blanket or something? This is embarrassing going around the hospital with this little problem" I point out as I motion towards the bottle that is holding my cock captive.
"But of course, Mr Northman" she rolls her eyes as she grabs the blanket from the end of the bed as places it in my arms. I quickly undo it and rest it over my lap so that it is covering up my dick in a bottle.
"I don't know why you'd be embarrassed of that gracious plenty" Nurse Stackhouse mumbles to herself, obviously thinking that I couldn't hear her. I feel myself smirk as I get brought into what I assume is my new cubical.
Once I'm settled on the new hospital bed and the two people have disappeared with the bed cart, I take my chance to try seduce Nurse Stackhouse again.
"I'm confident I have your name right this time" I grin at her as I raise my eyebrow sexily at her. She looks at me expectantly before gaining a grin of her own.
"Oh, really? Please do tell" she encourages as she sits down on the chair next to my bed.
"I think your name is Sookie" I watch her facial expressions carefully, trying to find the ounce of shock that should be there. But to my surprise she just keeps a neutral face. Damn it, she's not impressed. But I know what will impress her.
"Did you know that Sookie means lily?" I inquire, this time she gains a grin of her own.
"How convenient" she smiles at me, confusing me completely. What does she mean how convenient? How is her name meaning lily convenient? It makes no sense, unless…no, not possible. Someone as hot as her surely isn't a virgin; no chance. She probably has guys lined up to date her, there is no chance she still has her lily. It just isn't possible. But maybe I can use this to my advantage.
"Maybe I could help you with that convenience" I leer at her, her hard face returning as she scowls at me.
"I am a lady, Mr Northman, and I expect to be treated as such" she scolds me as she gets up and heads towards the door where she holds it open for two people before she disappears. But of course she has to leave just as my father and sister arrive. Bloody typical.
So here my father is, stood before me in his fancy black suit with his crisp white shirt and dark blue tie on. His blonde her done into a nerd style and his hard blue eyes boring holes into me. And then there is Pam. Stood there dressed in a purple pencil skirt and purple blazer that goes over her red blouse. To match it off she has on her fuck me red pumps with a black handbag hanging off her arm. She looks like some sort of fashionable posh totty.
"Look at the trouble you've got yourself into now! You don't see your sister going around and getting into problems like this" he shakes his head at me; Pam's stood there smirking next to him.
"That may have something to do with the fact that she doesn't have a penis" I point out logically, only spurring his anger on further.
"I have had it with you, son. I want you to grow up, and I want you to do it now. You will work alongside me in the business rather than as my underling; I will teach you everything I know about the business because you will be taking over once I am deceased. You will also pack in your sleeping round and your partying and you will start attending classes that will teach you how to act accordingly. Usually these classes are for teenagers, but, Eric, you still are acting like a teenager. Not only that but I expect you to find yourself a girl, one that you intend to marry and not just use then throw away. Do you know how many women I have had to fire in the business because you have used them and never phoned them again?" he challenges me, I even attempt to try to work it out in my head but I can't say I'm succeeding.
"Unbelievable" he throws his hands up in the air exasperated. Yep, this is my father; the great and all amazing businessman, Arvid Northman. And stood right beside him is Pamela Ravenscroft. The reason she doesn't share our last name is because she decided to take mother's maiden name, apparently it sounds better than Northman. She does have a point; Pamela Northman doesn't quite have the same ring as Pamela Ravenscroft.
"This is it, son. You will follow these orders and try to make me proud of you otherwise I will have to take matters into my own hands. And that means an arranged marriage like I wanted, but your mother disapproved of it before" he warns me before making his grand exit. Thank God mom divorced him ages ago, but thankfully she still gets a say in what my father decides to do with me. If it wasn't for her I would have been sent to boarding school as a teenager and married by the time I was 18. But I'm 27 years old and still a bachelor. I wonder how old Sookie is. She looks around about 23, maybe 24…
"You know he's being serious right, Eric? If you don't get yourself together soon he's going to marry you off to that Klara girl" she scrunches her face up at just the thought of Klara. And to be honest I don't blame her, Klara is the devil in Prada. Quite literally.
"Don't you think I know this, Pam? He's never fucking liked me and the second I screw up he's always on it. This is my last chance and I don't plan on screwing it up, I aint marrying Klara. She's the biggest bitch known to fucking man. I wouldn't even be able to breathe without her permission" I groan as I try to adjust myself more on the horrible hospital bed. Making sure that the blanket doesn't reveal my little problem.
"And that's why he wants to marry you to her. Because she'll be able to sort you out, so don't fuck this up brother. I don't want to see you unhappy" and that right there is the kindest, most sentimental thing she has ever said to me.
"Thanks, Pam" I smile at her before her smile turns into a wicked grin. Shit, she's about to make a penis joke. I just know it.