A/N: Hey guys! I realize I forgot the riddikulusly long author's note that's always there in iheartmwpp's parodies last chapter. So here it is. THREE REVIEWS IN ONE NIGHT! Thanks to iheartmwpp, RandomFandom5, and SlytherinIceQueen639.
I have gotten some complaints *coughiheartmwppcough* about repeating the same jokes. I'll admit that I repeated the fourth wall joke too much, so I'll try to do it less. It might not even be in this chapter. And about the flying chairs – I nearly got decapitated by about three of them, so leave me alone, iheart. But keep reviewing! The "no, me, your mama" joke – I was running out of places to put them anyways, so you don't need to complain about it. Umbridge isn't in this film anyway.
It's my sister's birthday today. She's one. Happy birthday, sis! Also, GUESS WHO GOT HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX FOR THE DSI. I'm on my way to the OWLs now.
Disclaimer: I do not own the film Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part Two/book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, or any other film, book, or game in the series, A Very Potter Musical or Sequel, Phineas and Ferb, or iheartmwpp.
~Yay, the moving staircases are back! Oh wait, that staircase is just in the middle~
Random student #87: Come on, let's get outta here!
Random student #99: Did the Grand Staircase just spontaneously change or something? yoneld was wondering what part of the castle was this.
Cramped Trio of Let Us Breathe, People: *are going up-, rather than downstairs*
Ron: Harry! Wait up!
Harry: *turns around*
Ron: Hermione and I were thinking…
yoneld's sister: Wait… are you actually allowed to do that? Isn't Hermione the smart one? Oh wait, she probably did all the thinking…
yoneld: Didn't the books prove that Ron can think?
yoneld's sister: I'm only at Book Four.
Ron: Hem, hem.
yoneld: AAAAAAAAAARGH!
Ron: It doesn't matter if we find another Horcrux. I don't even know if we can FIND it, since we're not Hufflepuffs. I need a Hufflepuff! NOW!
yoneld: Did somebody say yoneld?
yoneld's father: Yes, I did. I was calling you to dinner.
Harry: Hem, hem.
yoneld: Why are you imitating the very person who made your hand bleed?
Harry: Because shut up. Anyways, whatever do you mean? Again with the fancy talking.
Hermione's eyebrows: Unless we can DESTROY it! I don't know if Gryffindors are good DESTROYers, though… *open one of the many books they brought but are only mentioned offhand in Film Seven* Yes. Yes, we are.
Harry: Just your eyebrows, or all of us Gryffindors?
Hermione: Gryffindors. But especially my eyebrows.
Ron: So we were thinking…
Hermione's eyebrows: Well, Ron was thinking. In this film, he's allowed to do that. It was his idea, it's completely brilliant. Kind of like what he thought the Ministry did in Book Five, except HE WAS WRONG!
Ron: Apparently I can't take a compliment. You destroyed Tom Riddle's diary with Sheldon's fang, didn't you?
Harry: How you know the name of that particular basilisk is beyond me.
Ron: Dude, there's no fourth wall. We know everything that happens ever. Anyways, I think we know where we can FIND one, even though we're not Hufflepuffs.
Harry: Okay. Okay, but take this. *hands him a sandwich*
Ron: Okay. What is it?
Harry: It's a sandwich.
Ron: OM NOM NOM.
Harry: Take this, too. *hands him Marauder's Map* That way you can FIND me when you get back.
yoneld: Switching house roles now, are we? Fine! See if I care! I will DESTROY this scene!
Hermione: Where are you going? And for the first time in this scene, my eyebrows aren't speaking!
Harry: Ravenclaw Tower. Gotta start somewhere! *runs off* And no making out!
Ron: Sure, sure.
Luna: Harry! Wait!
~They're back to not just cutting from one scene to another but actually using some kind of transitions? OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MY EXISTENCE I WANT A SANDWICH~
Parody readers: You just had dinner.
yoneld: Whatever do you mean by this?
Parody readers: HELP! OUR SUBSTITUTE PARODY WRITER HAS WATCHED THIS MOVIE TOO MANY TIMES! AND IT'S ONLY BEEN AROUND FOR A YEAR!
Students: We're still running outside.
Neville: It's actually the time for me to be awesome? You're giving me permission?
McGonagall: That is correct, Longbottom. Siriusly, what is with the fancy talking in this film?
Neville: Blow it up? Boom?
Audience: If they're blowing things up, shouldn't Seamus do that?
Seamus: Hello? I'm right here!
McGonagall: Hem, hem.
yoneld: *pulls out earplugs*
McGonagall: BOOM! And for some reason, I'm extremely OOC in this film. Does the Headmaster of Hogwarts always have to be OOC?
yoneld's friendly-friend: No. Snape wasn't. Because he's just awesome like that.
yoneld: Stop fanboying over Snape or get out of my parody! I told you to go watch AVPS!
yoneld's friendly-friend: Already did.
yoneld: Okay. Watch AVPM!
yoneld's friendly-friend: M'kay. *watches AVPM*
Neville: Hem, hem.
yoneld: You totally just ruined your awesomeness. Even Umbridge isn't that bad.
Umbridge: WHO DISRESPECTING UMBRIDGE.
yoneld: Let me finish, toad. If anything, Umbridge helped Neville become awesome.
Neville: How on earth are we going to do that? And what seventeen-year-old talks like that?
McGonagall: Why don't you consult with Mr. Finnigan. As I recall, he's got a particular proclivity for pyrotechnics.
Seamus: Nice alliteration.
McGonagall: Aww, shucks. Anyways, again, what's with the fancy talking? yoneld should replace one of the things in his summary with me talking fancy.
yoneld: I'm on it! I think I'll replace it with the fourth wall jokes.
Seamus: Iunno. Anyways, I can bring 'er down.
yoneld: I don't know about other languages, but in Hebrew, bridge (gesher) is masculine, and English doesn't have any genders, what gives?
McGonagall: That's the spirit.
Flitwick: You do know that nothing we do can keep He-Who-Can-Suddenly-Feel-It-When-His-Horcruxes-Are-Destroyed-In-This-Film-Despite-Not-Being-Able-To-In-Previous-Films-Because-The-Filmmakers-Have-Never-Heard-Of-Continuity out indefinitely, right? And more fancy talking!
Book readers: Well, if one of Harry's blood relatives on his mother's side would come and live here, we could keep him out indefinitely - oh wait, the blood protection only applies until he's seventeen. Never mind.
yoneld: For some reason, that gives me an idea for Harry's grandparents raising Harry. They could do it at Hogwarts!
McGonagall: Hem, hem.
yoneld: *implodes*
Parody: *comes to a sudden stop as yoneld has imploded*
McGonagall: That doesn't mean we can't delay him. Which is what we should've done in Book Five - delay the school year so that we wouldn't get stuck with the toad. And his name is Voldemort, Filius. I'm the Headmistress now, which means I must be as OOC as possible. Anyways, you might as well use his name, Filius. He's going to try and kill you anyway. Now: Piertotum Locomotor!
"Statues" Track: *is one of the most awesome tracks in the history of Harry Potter, second only to Buckbeak's Flight and Room of Requirements*
Statues: WE ARE JUMPING DOWN AND SLOWLY RISING. To our titular track. It's almost as if we know what the soundtrack sounds like.
McGonagall: Hogwarts is in danger! Man the boundaries even though yoneld thought I was making some random sounds when he watched the trailers to this film, protect us! Do your duty to our school!
Random Statue #8,438-5: Well, so far our duty was only to host Peeves, but whatever.
Statues: WE ARE MARCHING.
McGonagall: More OOC-ness!
Molly: I seem to be extremely worried. And rightly so. I just hope all of my kids make it through the night.
yoneld: *sniff* If only.
Flitwick: Protego Maxima. Fianto Duri. Repello Inimicum. Noncanonicum Spellio.
yoneld: *has recovered from his implosion* This was actually what the subtitles said. Except for Noncanonicum Spellio. Listen more closely to what they said, Qsubs team!
Qsubs Team: *very bad Hebrew accent* What? Det is wot we tot dey said.
yoneld: Qsubs Team are the people that make Hebrew subtitles for online movies. They suck at transliterating spells and names. For these spells - well, they did get the Protego Maxima right, but they thought the second spell was Thianto Dully, the third spell was Repello Muggletum, and the fourth spell wasn't even transliterated. And none of them were canon.
Slughorn: Hem, hem.
yoneld: This is getting old, maybe we should stop?
Slughorn: Protego Maxima. Fianto Duri. Repello Inimicum. Noncanonicum Spellio.
Molly: Protego Maxima. Fianto Duri. Repello Inimicum. Noncanonicum Spellio.
Non-canon spells: Apparently, when combined, we make numerous force fields which join up. Oh, and there are other people using us.
Force fields: WE ARE JOINING UP.
Dementors: AAAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS US! IT FREEZES!
yoneld: *is sketching Hogwarts*
~Meanwhile, in one of the many towers of Hogwarts…~
Luna: Harry! Wait!
Harry: Not now! I'm preoccupied with the fact that even we are talking fancy at the moment!
Luna: Plz? *puppy dog eyes*
Harry: It only works when Ginny does it.
Luna: Harry!
Harry: Laterz!
Luna: I've got free RED VINES! Even though yoneld prefers Twizzlers and I know for a fact that the RED VINES from AVPS were actually Twizzlers in a RED VINES pack.
Harry: O RLY?
Luna: YAH RLY.
Harry: GIMME RED VINES.
Luna: *gives him Twizzlers disguised as RED VINES*
Harry: OM NOM - wait a second… these don't really taste like RED VINES…
Luna: No, they're the RED VINES you had in AVPS.
Harry: Oh, okay then. OM NOM NOM.
Luna: Anyways, Cho said there's no one alive who's seen it.
Harry: I AM STARING BLANKLY AT YOU.
Luna: I can't believe it! Are we back to Film Six?
Harry: No, I really don't know where you're going with this.
Luna's eyebrows: Isn't it obvious?
Harry: … why can your eyebrows suddenly talk? I mean, I know Hermione's eyebrows talk all the time, but you?
Luna's eyebrows: We're not really talking. It's just that yoneld made us talk because our last line was something Hermione's eyebrows would usually say.
Harry: Oh, okay then.
Luna: Anyways, we need to talk to someone who's dead.
Harry: OH GOD I AM NOT TALKING TO THESE INFERI AGAIN.
Luna: Try thinking a bit closer to here.
Harry: Ooooooh, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny… *walks over to the shiny*
Luna: Shiiiiiiiiiny… *walks over to the shiny* It's beautiful, isn't it? *has a dreamy look on her face* The moon.
Harry: Divine.
Luna: I just can't stop thinking about you, Harry.
Harry: Oh HECK no. I never broke up with Ginny in this version! You were saying something?
~And now they're back to cutting to the next scene. I spoke too soon~
Flitwick: I look smug for some reason. Also, wasn't I in the courtyard? What am I doing at the end of the bridge?
Random statue #84,327-47: Iunno. I'm just a statue.
Flitwick: And how did I get past the statues?
yoneld: One of the advantages of being small… I remember hiding in very small places back in first grade.
Force field: I AM CLOSING.
~We now return you to… Siriusly? Some random courtyard with ABSOLUTELY NOBODY? WHAT IS THIS MAGIC~
Camera: Hang on, let me focus on the main character. *moves away from Harry*
Harry: Hem, hem.
yoneld: I'm running out of things to say now.
Camera: NOES NOT FILM FIVE AGAIN! Why does that sound like a guy? Is this AVPS or something?
Harry: No! It's me, the main character! I'm over here!
Camera: Fine! Hang on, it's gonna take some time.
Luna's creepy voiceover of DOOOOOOOM!: You can FIND her down here.
yoneld: I'll FIND her, seeing as I'm a Hufflepuff.
Harry's creepy voiceover of DOOOOOOOM!: Aren't you coming?
Luna: No. She's very shy. It's best if you're alone with her…
Harry: Last time I was alone with a female ghost, she was extremely creeping me out.
Luna: DON'T QUESTION ME.
Harry's shadow: I AM WALKING.
Harry: Hey, wait up… I can't let you be creeped out by a creepy ghost of creepiness alone! *goes back inside*
Grey Lady: Wow. I was recast. Shocker.
Weird voices: Watashi tachi mo Paaserutangu imasu ka? Aruiwa wareware dakede shirimetsu retsu na koe wa nani desu ka?
Harry: Hey… you look different than six years ago…
Grey Lady: I am highly offended by what you said. *turns into a Patronus and tries to leave*
Book readers: Since when can ghosts do that?
Movie watchers: IKR.
Harry: I'm sorry, I say while not looking sorry at all. It's Helena, isn't it? Don't ask me how I know this, but you're Helena Ravenclaw, Rowena's daughter.
Grey Lady: *turns back into a ghost*
Audience: O-kay…
Grey Lady: Since you called me by my real name, I'm automatically assuming that you know Luna.
Harry: Yes. Yes, I do.
Grey Lady: MORE FANCY TALKING! Also, you seek my mother's diadem.
Harry: Well, I am a Seeker… and now I am staring blankly again. What is wrong with me? Also, Luna thought you can help me.
Grey Lady: Luna's cool. She's one of yoneld's favorite characters, unlike many others. *coughUmbridgecough* But she was wrong. I cannot help you. Although with me, the fancy talking is okay, as I died, like, early 11th century. *turns into Patronus*
Hedwig's Theme: *conveniently plays right then*
Grey Lady: *dances through Harry*
Harry: Am I supposed to be warm or cold? I mean, as a Patronus, she should be warm, but as a ghost, she's cold, so what the heck? Hey, wait up! *goes back into the courtyard*
Grey Lady: *turns back into ghost right in the middle of the courtyard* I seem to be pained.
Harry: I am a Gryffindor.
Grey Lady: So you're going to DESTROY it?
Harry: Yes.
A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. Gotta do some summer homework I've been holding off till the last moment. And eat some melons while I'm doing it. Also, I'm going to Washington, DC, tomorrow and I'm not sure if I'll have Internet at the hotel I'm staying in. I'll write the next chapter on the plane and upload it as soon as possible. I'm warning you, though, the next chapter will have a long rant about how much I hate airport security in the riddikulusly long opening author's note. Also, I'm not sure if I'll be able to update very often once school starts. Even if I do, it probably won't end in 2012, seeing as I'm pretty much parodying the whole rest of the movie except for the epilogue. And I might do that too.
Review or the Grey Lady will turn into a Patronus and dance through you to Hedwig's Theme.