AN: Hello, everyone! I am so glad that you're enjoying my little bout of temporary insanity that has now developed into a full fledged fic. For those of you who asked about Pepper and Maria Hill - Do not worry! I'll get to them, but patience is a virtue. I do have two lovely people beta-ing my fics and they can be found at (shameless self promotion, I know) overtherooftop and gusgivemeyourface on tumblr. My tumblr is downtonabi. Alright, now that we've gotten that out of the way - enjoy chapter two! Thank you to all those who have favorited, reviewed, and put this (and me) on alert. It means so much! Please continue the trend! Here we go!
Tony passed Steve's classroom on the way to his own and decided to casually shout, "SEX!" into the open doorway. He looked in just long enough to catch Steve turning a shade as red as the tablecloth on his desk. A tablecloth for a desk? Seriously? "Steve-y Homemaker," Tony snorted and muttered to himself.
He walked into his classroom to find Parker taking attendance. Excellent. He watched as he sat down in his desk recliner and propped his feet up on the desk. He took out his state of the art smart phone and began playing a mind numbing game to pass the time. Coulson always walked the hall for ten minutes after the late bell rang, collecting tardy students, which meant Tony had to wait until the coast was clear or he would get another lecture about "Parker is your student teacher, not your replacement, Mr. Stark, blah blah blah."
Tony vaguely listened to Parker pass out yesterday's pop quizzes and heard the collective groans and thanks to various gods at the results. "If you feel like your grade needs to be reconsidered or need additional help, please talk to me or Mr. Stark after class," Peter told the students. Oh, God, Tony had not signed up for additional tutoring at the hands of his teaching assistant. Parker was obviously trying to get him back for the lab incident. It was one small fire. Parker handled it fine. Though, Tony had promised to at least physically be in the room from now on when soldering irons were being used. He never made any promises about his mental state.
Noting his ten minutes were up, he saluted Parker, who responded with an eye roll and headed to Barton's classroom. On the way there, Tony strode past Steve's open door again and, taking a page from Thor's book, yelled, "Fornication!" He smirked as he heard laughter from Steve's classroom, pleased with himself. He sauntered into Clint's classroom, which was currently empty of students because Clint had first period free. Clint's stance on classroom decoration sat comfortably between Steve's over indulgence and Tony's utter lack of color – there was a bookshelf behind Clint's desk stuffed with various novels. Hunger Games, Lord of the Rings, and Robin Hood movie posters decorated the walls.
"Stark," Clint didn't even have to look up from his computer to know who had walked into the room. It was actually kind of creepy and Tony wondered if Clint was psychic or if his coming into Clint's classroom every first period had become that routine.
"What up, Barton?" Tony settled himself on the table top portion of one of the desks. Before Clint even had a chance to answer, Tony launched into a discussion of Clint's new driving partner – "Alright, Barton. Tony Stark's 'How to Flirt in the Carpool Lane 101' – copyright pending. Number one: let her choose the tunes," he looked at Clint, "Why are you not writing this down?"
"Uh, because it's coming from a guy whose longest relationship could probably be determined by hours instead of months. Besides, Tasha and I's friendship is none of your business," Clint flipped Tony off.
"I'm wounded," Tony mocked a gasp and clasped his hands over his chest.
"Not as wounded as you will be when Fury finds out you're blowing off your classes again," Clint replied.
Tony snorted. He could pretend he wasn't afraid of Fury all he wanted, but when it came down to it, that man was intimidating and probably didn't utilize lectures as a form of punishment like Coulson did. Actually teaching for once wouldn't kill Tony. He pulled himself out of his lounging position and smiled wickedly at Clint. "See ya, Mr. Romanoff!" he yelled as he ran out the door. Something hit him in the back – he reached behind him and grabbed it. A spongy dart. Damn. Who the hell gave Barton a nerf gun?
Tony thought about interrupting the class going on next door, but Natasha must have heard him coming. As soon as he approached, a pale, elegant hand reached out and slammed the door shut. She was probably still angry about the time he had to emergency sub for her Italian class and taught them curse words and Italian slang terms for sex organs. Tony smirked, making a mental note to look up the same words in the other languages Natasha taught. He began to whistle as he made his way back to his classroom when he turned the corner and he slammed into Principal Fury.
"Mr. Stark, may I ask why you aren't in your classroom?" Fury stared at Tony, arms crossed over his chest.
"Uh, bathroom break?" Tony flashed his most dazzling smile. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I hear my student teacher screaming for help," he slid past Fury and continued to jauntily walk towards his classroom.
Peter and his first period class were fine, as Tony expected. He settled into his chair and debated whether it was too early for a nap. Who was he kidding? It was never too early for a nap. He propped his feet up on his desk and leaned back, expecting Peter to wake him in time for lunch. He was startled awake by a heavy tap on his arm.
"Stark, it is time to feast upon the midday meal!" A large face beamed down at him, long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail.
"Thor, Jesus! Warn a guy, would you?" He did not appreciate his nap being interrupted by an overgrown gym rat who spoke like he had just walked out of Shakespeare in the Park.
Since the faculty at Assemblage High School was so small, they always ate together in Steve's room, mainly because Steve always had extra napkins and cups and packed extra sandwiches because he insisted that coffee wasn't a food group. They gathered the students' desks around in the circle. Well, everyone else did while Tony watched.
Tony slung himself into a desk and waited for Steve to place his sandwich in front of him. He didn't like being handed things. Instead of placing the sandwich on his desk, though, Steve loomed over Tony and kept the sandwich in his possession. "Problem, Rogers? I'm starving here."
"I really should let you starve, since you keep disrupting my classroom," Steve's blue eyes were icy.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Tony feigned innocence.
"Stark, everyone is fully aware of the fact that you've been yelling inappropriate things into Steve's classroom since you found out he blushes at anything," Natasha said. Tony observed as Steve blushed yet again, a soft tomato red that crept up his cheeks. Or apple pie red. The man was basically a walking poster child for the American Dream.
"Innocent until proven guilty. Now, can I have my sandwich?" he motioned to the square wrapped in white butcher's paper in Steve's large hand. There was even a toothpick holding the folds on the square of paper intact. Steve was better than any deli in the area.
Steve sighed and placed Tony's sandwich on the desk. Tony knew that Steve could never be angry with him. In fact, he had never seen Steve become angry with anyone. Even when Steve sent students to the office he was calm, cool, and collected. It was probably why his students still loved him even if Steve was kind of a bitch about texting in class. Well, that and everyone with eyes crushed on Steve at some point in their lives. Bruce often complained that Steve's after school tutoring rate was higher than his because of his lack of "rippling pectorals."
Everyone discussed the latest dumbass things their students had done, well except for Loki. Tony was pretty sure that Loki had majored in brooding rather than European History in college. Instead of joining the circle of desks, Loki sat in the corner and observed the others. Tony didn't know why Thor kept dragging Loki to lunch when the guy so obviously didn't want to be there. He chose to ignore Loki's creepy stare and scarfed down his sandwich, listening to Natasha describe how she had scared the shit out of a kid she caught cheating on a French test.
The bell rang and Steve's fifth period class began shuffling in. Tony followed the rest of the lunch crew out of the room, but paused at the whiteboard, debating whether he should draw a quick sketch of a penis as a present to Steve. As he turned to reach for the dry erase marker, he caught Natasha's eyes glaring at him from the door way. Shit. Tony immediately decided he enjoyed the use of his right hand too much to risk the wrath of Natasha Romanoff, so he stuffed his hands into his pockets and sauntered out of the room.