Author's Note: So, I kind of do like this series. And it has evolved past a oneshot. I don't know why, but these cute little tales are just so fun to write! (Especially when Game Over is so dramatastic.) Expect several more installments of The Misadventures of Matt. What are you waiting for? Onward!
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I owned Death Note, I'd have enough money to build an airship.
Warning: Mild swearing.
Matt had a serious problem.
There was a thief on the loose at Wammy's House. And he was targeting Matt's room.
Long after the homework incident had blown over, Matt noticed that his door would be cracked open when he came back from classes. Upon inspection, he noticed that his stash of junk food had become seriously depleted in the wake of the break-ins.
Matt felt the need to investigate this heinous crime. It was, after all, his allowance that bought the now-stolen treats.
He quickly devised a trap to set for the candy-stealer so that he could catch the culprit. Using a few ink pens and a can of keyboard duster, he rigged up an ink system so that anyone who opened his candy drawer was instantly blasted with a shower of blue ink.
Confident that this brilliant trap would be enough to keep his candy stash safe, he left for class humming the Mario theme song.
Seven grueling hours and two quizzes later, Matt rushed back to his room to see if the trap had worked. The door was slightly ajar, just like usual. He began to feel nearly giddy as he flung the candy drawer open…
…only to be met with a spray of blue ink aimed directly at his bewildered face.
Two hours later, a very unamused and blue-tinted Matt furiously scrubbed at the ink blotches on his goggles. Several boys made snarky comments about his cobalt complexion at dinner, earning him the nickname "Smurf" for the night.
A better plan to capture this thief was necessary.
The next morning, the gamer decided to feign illness and stay in bed all day. That way, he would notice for sure when someone snuck into his room. He settled into bed with his Game Boy, twisting over and pretending to fall asleep every time Roger or one of the nurse's aides came to check in on him. One annoying aide insisted on watching him for a few minutes, patting his forehead to check for fever, tucking the sheets around his shoulders, and staying far too long in his room. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep while waiting for the woman to leave.
He dreamed that Mega Man and Sonic the Hedgehog teamed up with him to catch Bowser in the act of stealing his chocolate bars. The dream ended with Bowser fueling a rocket ship with Gatorade to launch the candy into outer space.
Utterly confused and slightly disoriented, Matt woke up to discover that his door was slightly cracked and the drawer containing his few remaining chocolate bars was wide open. One of the bars had vanished.
That night, the children of Wammy's House swore they heard a banshee screaming a most ungodly screech.
As soon as the sun rose the next morning, Matt devised a new strategy to capture the candy-nabbing crook. He would pretend to go to class, then slip out in the middle and check on his candy stash. If a class was particularly chaotic, he would spend the entire class period hiding under his bed to wait for the evildoer to come around.
The plan worked perfectly for his first class. The teacher was busy sorting through paperwork, and his classmates were all focused on their busywork assignments. He asked for a bathroom slip and ran back to his room, diligently keeping guard on his candy stash. When the bell for his second class sounded, he slid into the very back of the room as usual. He tried to slip out when the teacher wasn't looking, but was soon escorted back to his seat and given an extra sheet of homework for his attempt.
The afternoon flew by, and Matt took every opportunity he could to slide under his bed and wait for the guilty party to raid the candy drawer. The bell began to sound for his final class of the day, but Matt was absolutely certain that the chocolate-thieving jerk would show up any minute. He decided that he wouldn't really be missed in sixth period…
He lay on his belly, peeking from underneath his bed. The clock on the desk tick-tocked noisily, reminding the gamer how boring it was to wait for someone who may or may not show up. He had just begun to daydream about Princess Peach when the door to his room slowly creaked open.
He held his breath, narrowing his eyes at the black boots that clunked across the floor. Just as the assailant reached down to open the drawer, Matt's hand shot out from under the bed and wrapped around the person's ankle.
Both boys let out a yelp as the thief tumbled to the ground, dragging Matt out from his hiding place. They lay dazed in a pile on the floor for a moment before Matt leapt to his feet.
"You! Who the hell are you?" He growled, pointing his finger in what he hoped was a menacing fashion.
The other kid sat up, tucking a delicate strand of blonde hair behind his ear. He arched an eyebrow, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.
"Your savior," he said. "I told you that you owed me."
Matt's hand fell to his side. He stared at the other kid, momentarily dumbfounded. "So, you're M?"
"Mello, actually," the blonde smirked. "Do you mind? I need to get back to study hall."
"Let me get this straight," Matt held up four fingers. "Your name is Mello. You're the jerk that's been stealing my candy. You're skipping class to steal my stuff. And you've been stealing my candy because you drew some cool shit on my homework? Have I missed anything?"
"Yeah," Mello yawned lazily, standing up and grabbing a chocolate bar from Matt's desk. "I don't steal your candy. I steal your chocolate. Your peppermints are safe."
"They're ancient!" Matt raised his voice a little. "I spent good money on that chocolate!"
"And it's good chocolate, too," Mello grinned, snapping off a piece.
"I can't believe you!" Matt yelled. "How do you explain to your teacher that you're skipping their class to come steal chocolate from some poor defenseless boy?"
"I tell her I have to take a piss," he laughed. "Though, it usually doesn't take this long. Guess I'll have to tell her I had to take a shit instead."
"…You're unbelievable," Matt sighed. "Fine. Steal all my damn chocolate. I don't care. I'm not buying any more when it's gone."
"Sure you will," Mello shrugged. "You'll want me to come back."
"And why the hell would I want you to come back?" Matt glared.
"Because I keep your life interesting." Mello winked, turning toward the door. "You can't wait to see what happens next!"
As Matt watched the boy leave, he couldn't help but laugh. Mello was right. Mello's casual appearance in his life really had kept him entertained for several days. He waited a few minutes before following the boy into the hall.
"Hey," he called to the blonde's back. "Next time you steal my chocolate, do it after class. I challenge you to a video game tournament. Winner buys the loser a whole bag of chocolate bars."