Limericks II by Cleo the Muse
Rating: All Ages
Genre: General, Humor
Warnings: Bad poetry.
Episodes: None, and could be set in any season featuring the original team.
Synopsis: No plot whatsoever. Busted up and confined to the infirmary, SG-1 finds a way to pass the time. Again.
Status: Completed as of November 19, 2006
Notes: What can I say? Lightning DOES strike twice...

Limericks II

"My team, through the wormhole got pitched
Got banged up and had to get stitched
By a doc with a smile
Though she sure took a while
While she scolded the colonel and--"

"No. Not again, Colonel."

"Oh, but Doc--"

"Don't 'but Doc', me. The last time you got it in your head to start up a rhyming contest in the infirmary, you twisted your knee again trying to throw a pillow at Daniel, who ripped his stitches trying to dodge. It bounced off him, knocking Major Carter off her chair so that she hit her head again and accidentally elbowed Teal'c in the pouch when he tried to catch her. Not again."

"There once was an SGC doc--"

"Colonel..."

"--Who did check-ups and tests 'round the clock
She was fond of her penlight
Though the darn thing was too bright
I don't bug a doc with a Glock."

"And yet you keep doing it anyway. You're doing it now, even."

"There once was an alien race--"

"Daniel!"

"--Who had ships that went into space
Though those ships sure can zoom
They make a nice boom
When C4's all over the place."

"And make lots of shrapnel to shred up my patients, too, I might add."

"Daniel's right, Janet... they did make a really nice 'boom'."

"My, Sam, you're astonishingly agreeable when you're doped up on painkillers."

"Yep, Janet... feeling no pain, thanks. When SG-1 ran into Zeus--"

"I'm surrounded by rhyming fools."

"It was all they could do to get loose
They made their escapes
But got a few scrapes
Thank goodness for Jan's happy juice!"

"Nurse, how many cc's did you give her?"

"I once met an SGC nurse--"

"Oh, brother, not you too, Teal'c."

"--Who found hard to decide what was worse
Avoiding her boss
When the doctor was cross
Or listening to SG-1 verse."

"Way to go T!"

"Doctor? How is SG-1?"

"Feeling no pain, sir!"

"Thank you, Colonel, but I was asking Doctor Frasier."

"They'll be fine, general. Unfortunately the nursing staff is about to take up arms."

"Being disagreeable patients again?"

"The SG-1 team members, four--"

"Ah. I see the problem already, Doctor."

"--Were on P2R-354--"

"Doctor Jackson..."

"In ambush were caught
They valiantly fought
And came back the victors, but sore."

"Despite the rather unorthodox delivery, Doctor, I am getting their debriefing."

"Yes sir. But the last time they got into a limerick war--"

"There were further casualties, I understand. It will take only a minute or two, Doctor."

"Though I most vehemently protest... yes, sir."

"Thanks, General! You're the best."

"Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Jackson mentioned an ambush?"

"Yep. On planet P2-somethin'-something
My team was to meet with the king
Instead, met Jaffa
Some booms, then voila!
We come back home through the ring."

"Are you sure none of them is concussed, Doctor?"

"MRIs were clear, sir. I could check again."

"Janet, we're fine. Just a little giddy from escaping certain doom by the skin of our teeth. Again."

"Daniel Jackson, my teeth do not--"

"It's just an expression, Teal'c."

"I see."

"At times, I think I should weep--"

"Janet?!"

"--When SG-1's left in my keep--"

"If you can't lick 'em, join 'em, eh Doc?"

"--But my needles will find
A colonel's behind
If they don't soon drop off to sleep."

"'Night."

Author's Notes:

Again, this one wouldn't let ME sleep... Forty minutes for it.

Oh, and for those of you unfamiliar with military hardware and/or handguns, the standard-issue sidearm for the U.S. Military is the Beretta 92F, aka the M-9. Often, though, Special Ops and other folks picky about their weapons will buy Sig or Glock models for personal use. Be afraid of Janet, Jack... very afraid...