Aria's POV :
I never thought that I could give my virginity to a stranger but at that moment, as Ezra kissed my neck, I couln't resist to give it to him. After he brought me to the hill and after we kissed for the first time, we ran to his apartment. It was a small apartment and it did not really correspond with Ezra. There was a huge bookcase filled with books, I never thought that a bad boy like him could read romances. Anyway, I was too focused on him kissing me against a wall than figuring out who this man really was. Ezra was gentle and passionate when he kissed me, I felt like I was in heaven. I began to feel things that I had never felt in all my life, not even with Liam.
As we continued to kiss, I took off his black leather jacket and his white t-shirt. Then, for the very first time I saw Ezra's chest and abs. God, he was beautiful and sexy ! All the girls might fall for him, including me. I never was a bold girl but at this moment I felt adventurous. I filled Ezra with kisses along his abs and chest as he breathed deeply.
''Aria... I think we should stop before...''
I put my finger agaist his perfect lips.
''Shh... I want this, Ezra. Please, just do it.'' I told him pleadingly.
He looked at me his eyes filled with lust. He was trying to figure out if having sex with me was a good idea. But he could see that I only wanted one thing : him. That is the reason why he decided to continue to kiss me passionately before taking my clothes off. Once I was only in my bra and panties, he looked at me as if I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. I was shaking because I knew that I was about to loose my virginity to this amazing man.
''Don't be nervous, baby, it's just you and me...'' He said giving me a peck.
He put his hand in my thighs and I jump to wrap my legs against him. He took us towards his bed and put me down gently. As I layed in his bed, Ezra undid his pants and joined me. He started to kiss my neck and then he went down, kissing my chest, my boobs and my belly. I was shivering ! How could someone that I barely knew make me feel like that ? Before taking my bra off, he looked at me to ask for permission and I nod in agreement. He took my bra slowly before kissing my boobs like there was no tomorrow.
''God, I can't wait anymore, baby, I want you so much !'' Ezra said taking off his boxers and my panties.
He looked at him and stroked my cheek.
''Are you ready ?'' He asked me.
''Absolutely.'' I said smiling to him.
He smiled too before reaching for a condom in his bedside table. He put the condom before thrusting into me slowly. At first, all I felt was pain. A terrible pain. However, Ezra knew how to distract me in order to forget the pain. He kissed my neck and soon, the pain turned into pleasure. Ezra was moving so slowly in me because he was scared of hurting me. But as soon as I told him to move faster, he thrusted into me fast and I was over the moon. He really knew what he was doing ! We kept kissing and moving against each other as if we did not want to be separated. And soon, I couldn't think correctly or remember my name, I think that is what people call an orgasm. Ezra collapsed in my body and I never felt so good. He really was an addiction.
The light going through the windows woke me up and I had difficulty to open my eyes. When I finally opened them, I smile because of the events of the night before. I did not regret any of it. I always imagined my first time like that, it was perfect, Ezra was perfect. When I turned around to see if Ezra was sleeping, he wasn't there. I stood up and went to the kitchen to see if my crush was here only to be disappointed. Where was Ezra ? Did he go to work ? I looked at the table to see a little note where Ezra wrote : That was nice ! See you sweetheart !
That was nice ? See you sweetheart ?! Is he kidding me ? Nice ? I just gave my damn virginity to him and all he says is that was nice ? Asshole ! I was just another girl for him, it did not mean anything to him. I couldn't believe it, did he not feel what I felt ? Was I just an one night stand ? Congratulations, Aria, that is your punishment for trusting people so easily !
I was so pissed that I only wanted to go away from this apartment. I looked for my clothes that this asshole had taken off hours ago, put them on and soon, I was outside walking away from him.
When I entered in my house, my parents and my brother Mike were having breakfast. And then, I thought that when I would wake up this morning, Ezra would be waiting for me making pancakes for the both of us. I was so wrong ! He just used me !
''Hey, sweetie ! So, how did it go with Liam ?'' My mom asked cheerfully.
''That was... nice...'' I said before going in my room.
As soon as I entered my room, I just collapsed on the floor crying. Why does every guy I met just use me ? I know I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, I know I wasn't beautiful like the other girls of my high school. But, come one, I just met two guys and one cheated on me and the other used me. I know that all of this is my fault. If only I did not trust people so easily !
The ringing of my phone brought me back to reality. It was my best friend, Hanna.
''Hello ?'' I asked.
''Sooo ? How was it ? Was he gentle with you ? Did you love it ?'' Hanna bombarded me with questions.
''Hello to you too, Hanna !''
''Hi ! So, tell me everything !''
''I'm not with Liam anymore, we broke up...'' I said biting my nails
''What ?! What do you mean you broke up ?''
''I saw him fucking... Lily...'' I answered holding back my tears.
''Son of a bitch ! I'm going to kill him, I'm going to rip his head off ! He fucked Lily, how disgusting, he has no taste at all !'' Hanna said angrily.
''That's not the only thing I have to tell you...''
''What ? Was there another person ? Were they doing a threesome ?''
''No ! I... Well, I met... another guy...'' I said blushing.
''Yeah and ?''
''Well, we... You know...''
''What are you talking about ? Stop being mysterious and tell... Wait... OH MY GOD, ARIA ! Did you have sex with this guy ? Was he good ?'' Hanna screamed as she was excited.
''Yes, he was, too good but...''
''But what ?''
''As soon as I woke up, he wasn't there but he left me a note. That was nice ! See you sweetheart !''
''Is he fucking kiding me ? What an asshole ! I'm soo sorry, Aria, you don't deserve it !''
''I know I don't but it's my fault, I wanted to sleep with him, I shouldn't have. But, you know what ? Let's just stop talking about it. It was a mistake. I'm just an easy girl that's all''
''Don't say that ! It is not your fault ! They don't deserve you, you deserve the most amazing guy in this world !''
''Awww... Thank you, Hanna, you're too sweet !'' I said tears falling down my cheeks.
''I know, I know. So, get ready, change your clothes. I'm coming to pick you up, I know you had a passionate night but now it's time to go to high school. It's our last year and then we can get out of this city forever !''
''Ok ! See you !''
''See you soon, cutie pie !'' Hanna said.
Classes were terribly boring and it was as if time did not want to pass by. I couldn't be concentrated, I had a lot of thoughts in my mind. I could still feel Ezra's breath in my neck, I could still feel how his kisses felt like. I had to forget him, he was not good for me. Besides, now that I was single, I could have any guy I wanted ! But every time I had this positive thought in my mind, memories of Ezra and I making love came back.
''Don't be nervous, baby, it's just you and me...''
''Shh... I want this, Ezra. Please, just do it.''
''God, I can't wait anymore, baby, I want you so much !''
Aria, just stop ! Don't think about him ! He used you, he's just a player, he doesn't want a relationship with you. Just. Move. On. That was all my brain could think about. Loving him and hating him. I was so confused. I wanted to hate him but I couldn't at the same time.
When I just had my last class, I went to my locker only to find Liam and Lily kissing each other in front of it. They are doing this on purpose ! They really do deserve each other.
Later that afternoon, Hanna and I went to have a coffe at Starbucks. I really needed to get away from Liam and Lily. They only had one thing in mind : hurting me. However, I was going to show them that this does not affect me and that they can be together. When I saw them kissing each other in front of my locker, I just pushed them and finally reached my locker. They just looked at me, laughed and went away.
''So, are you going to talk about it or not ?'' Hanna asked me worried.
''I don't know what you're talking about.''
''Come on, Aria, I am talking about the sexy stranger you met. I know you thought about it all day, you seemed distracted in class. I know that loosing your virginity is not nothing but I am here for you, if you need to talk, ok ?''
And that is where I broke down. I began to cry like there was no tomorrow. Bloody hell, Ezra, what did you do to me ?
''Hey, hey, sweetie, it's ok... It's all going to be ok...'' Hanna said giving me a hug.
''I thought he cared about me. I thought that what we did was important to him, but no... He's like Liam, he just wants to fuck someone !''
During all the afternoon, Hanna tried to console me. She was a good friend. She was one of the first persons I would go to if I had a problem. She was always here for me as I was for her. However, soon, she had to go home because she had to help her mother making dinner for guests. Hanna did not want to leave me alone but I told her that it was ok, we would talk later.
When I went out of Starbucks, I checked my phone and I had 5 missing calls from my mother. Is she serious ? How old am I ? Five ?! My parents were always very protecting parents, they always wanted to know where I was and with whom. I understood them but I was 18 years old, I was not a kid anymore.
While I was walking towards home, it began to rain. Great. Fantastic. I did not even bring an umbrella. It was really not my day ! As I continue to walk, I saw in the corner of a street a man pointing a gun towards another man. I was paralyzed. I knew the man with the gun. Black leather jacket, white t-shirt, black jeans. Ezra. My addiction. I hide behind a container and tried to figure out what he was doing pointing a gun towards an old man.
'' I can't let you leave ! You have to understand, I don't want this, you shouldn't have stolen the drugs from my boss ! Now I have to kill you...'' Ezra said his hand trembling.
''No, please, don't do this ! I can pay back your boss, please, don't kill me !'' The old man say pleading for his life.
''Shut up ! There is no second chances, you shouldn't have stolen that ! Do you know how difficult it is to kill someone ? Do you think I am happy in doing it ?!'' Ezra exclaimed.
''No, please, don't...''
The next thing I heard was a gunshot. I screamed and immediately shut up. Oh my god ! Ezra killed someone, oh my god, he's a murderer ! I couldn't breathe normally, I couldn't believe what my eyes saw. No, please, tell me this is a nightmare.
I came back to reality when I felt someone putting its hand in my shoulder. I jumped when I saw Ezra looking at me. I never saw him so pale. He took my hand and we began to run. I didn't want to run, I didn't want to see him but it was as if our bodies were magnets. Once they were together, they followed each other anywhere. While we were running, I saw with the corner of my eyes the body of the old man on the ground. He had a bullet in the head and there was blood everywhere. Oh my god, all of this is real !
Ezra brought me to an old shed, he was totally soaked and stressed. Once we were inside, he let go of my hand and looked at the window. He was scared that someone could have seen him killing a man.
''Bloody hell, Aria, what are you doing here ?!'' He said looking at me coldly.
''You... you... killed someone...'' I said crying.
Ezra was still looking at me coldly but his eyes changed of expression fast. He sighed as if he regretted killing someone. He looked at me and I saw how much he was worried for me. As soon as Ezra tried to approach me, I stept back. I couldn't believe that a guy who looked so sweet could kill someone in cold blood.
''You don't have to be afraid of me'' He told me moving closer to me.
''Don't kill me... Please...'' I said stepping back.
Suddenly, Ezra took the gun in his pocket and I froze. That was it. That was how I was going to die. However, suprisingly, Ezra threw the gun on the floor. He looked at me again, this time passionately.
''I should kill you, because you're a witness but I won't do it.'' Ezra simply said.
Ezra tried to move closer but I was still afraid.
''Aria... I'm still the same Ezra you know.''
''You're joking, right ?! You're not the Ezra I know ! You're a murd... A murd...''
''A what ? What am I, Aria ?'' Ezra says approaching me.
I froze, he was really close to me know. I could feel his smell, his breath. Damn, I can't resist this man, I've tried but I can't. Not when he is looking at me like that with his eyes filled with lust. I was telling him that he was a muderer but he still wanted me. He stroke my cheek and he smiled softly.
''Why do you have such effect on me ? I can't barely breathe...'' he said his lips dangerously close to mine.
That was not possible. I couldn't have an attraction for a murderer, he just killed someone ! But this attraction was stronger than mine and as soon as Ezra kissed me passionately, I responded to his kiss and put my hands in his beautiful black hair. Soon, I felt the wall behind my back and Ezra's lips on my neck. I couldn't resist him, at all. I was brought back to reality when Ezra tried to take my shirt off. I don't know how I did that but as soon as I felt his hands taking my shirt off, I just slapped him. Hard.
''I suppose I deserved that.'' Ezra simply said.
''Yes, you deserve it ! How dare you ?! You used me just for your pleasure !'' I screamed at him.
''No, it's not how...''
''Shut the hell up ! I don't want to see you or hear you ever again, do you understand me ?! I trusted you and you took my virginity away. You're not better that Liam''
I was about to leave when I felt Ezra pushing me roughly against the wall. I could only see rage in his eyes, I thought he was going to kill me.
''Don't ever talk to me like that or I'll...'' Ezra began.
''Or you'll what ?! You're going to kill me ?!'' I asked regretting immediately.
Ezra froze and all I could see now in his eyes was sadness. He walks a few steps away from me before looking at me again. His eyes were shiny, as if he was going to cry.
''That's what you think of me ? That I would kill you ? That I have no feelings ? I did not choose this life !'' He screamed. ''I don't have a choice.''
I stood there looking at him. He looked vulnerable and sad. At that moment, all I wanted to do was hug him but I knew he would push me away. There was a big silence in the shed. No one of us talked for a long time. Ezra was the first one to move, he took the gun I had thrown away and put it back in his pocket. As soon as he was ready to leave, he looked at me and said :
''You have to go.''
''Ezra, I...''
''No, please, just go. Live your life and forget I ever existed.''