I use to have six brothers. I use to be the fifth oldest. Basil was first, always looking after the rest of us, then came Wind and River, the soft spoken twins, three years later. A year later, Spirit was born, and not quite a year later, came me. Sage was born four years later and two years after him, Eclipse.
Seven kids. I'm not sure how my parents did it. Especially with Spirit and I. We were always the trouble makers, running around causing chaos. Like the time we accidentally let the bull loose, or when we stole the turkey's eggs and they chased us through the compound.
Then the accident happened. It was after Spirit turned eight but I was still seven. We were playing Dauntless and climbing the side of our house, when Spirit slipped. I had tried to hang on to him, tried to pull him back up. But I wasn't strong enough. He fell and broke his neck, dying instantly.
The next couple of weeks passed in a haze. I remember it was like I was seeing everything through dirty glass. The funeral, our friends and family, my mother crying. I didn't speak much during that time, overwhelmed with the guilt, but I don't think anyone noticed. It was like I wasn't even there, and if I was, they didn't seem to care enough to see how I was doing.
Sleep was the worst though. Nightmares, of seeing my brother fall, of my family telling me that it was my fault. Of course I believed them. If I had been stronger, faster, braver, I could've done something.
This continued for weeks. I ate less and less till I ate nothing, barely slept, barely spoke. Then one day, my mother looked at me. Just stopped and looked at me for a long time, before she fell to her knees and hugged me. She told me how sorry she was, that it wasn't my fault, how happy she was that it hadn't been both of us.
It took a long time for my family to come back from that loss. We still talk about Spirit sometimes, my older brothers telling stories of the mischief he and I would cause, my parents smiling sadly. But I never forgot the helplessness, feeling weak and scared, the sorrow. The complete lack of power.
In the months following the incident with the Candor boys, whom she noticed practically ran in the other direction when they saw her, Echo caught herself watching the Dauntless more and more.
Her sketchbook was filled with pictures of them jumping off the train, climbing, running, tattoos. She was obsessed.
It was that obsession that led her to this moment. Standing in front a group of Dauntless born, trying to remember how to speak.
"Spit it out, Softie." Echo glared at Ryker, before glancing at the rest of the black clad kids, her eyes falling on Zane.
"Tell me about Dauntless."
Her request had shocked them, like she knew it would, but they invited her to sit with them and immediately began describing things at Dauntless and telling stories. One girl, Echo was pretty sure her name was Lexie, was telling her about the Chasm.
"Hold on." Echo interrupted, reaching for her bag and digging out a pencil and her sketch book. Opening it, she drew a river with cliffs on either side and a bridge. Lexie moved to sit next to Echo and looked over her shoulder.
"The bridge is metal. And shorter." Echo adjusted the picture.
"The sides aren't that tall. The waters rougher. A lot rougher. The pit is on this side. There should be tunnels here, here and here. It's like one big cave." Echo fixed the drawing as Lexie informed her but she stopped at the last comment.
"A cave? How do you see?" Echo asked, confused.
"We've got night vision." Ryker spoke up, rolling his eyes. Zane glared at his friend, elbowing him.
"How do you think we see? Lights." Ryker rubbed his side. Echo felt her face heat up but smiled at him.
"Really, cause you do look kind of ratty." It was silent for a few moments, before the group exploded into laughter. It took a bit for the group to quiet down, when it did, Echo focused on finishing up her drawing of the Chasm with Lexie's direction while Hunter launched into the story of why he calls Echo a 'banjo strummin' badass'.
"Wow." Echo looked up a few moments later, noticing everyone looking at her, most impressed or shocked.
"What?" She asked, subconsciously touching her face.
"It's just, an Amity punching someone? Not very amiable." One of the guys said, raising a brow. Echo smirked and shrugged, finishing he last doorway just as Lexie snatches the book from her lap.
"Damn, you can draw. Look at this." The Dauntless girl showed the group Echos drawing. They passed it around till one boy dropped it, the page flipping to a drawing of some Dauntless climbing the side of the Hub.
Echo watched in silence as they all gathered around the boy and looked at the many drawings of Dauntless. Several of the Dauntless symbol or it's flames, but mostly of its members running, climbing, sparing, jumping off the train.
A couple tense moments later, they group looked at her. Echo blushed again, and took the book back, holding it close.
"Why are there so many pictures of Dauntless?" Another girl, a quiet blonde with pretty eyes, asked. Echo shrugged and picked at a loose thread on her shirt.
"I'm not sure, but when I see you, when I see Dauntless, I feel inspired. Like I wanna create something incredibly beautiful but all I do are those sketches." Lexie tugged on a lock of Echos hair.
"You big Softie." Echo grinned and batted her hand away.
"I think it's creepy." Ryker gave Echo a dirty look and got to his feet. "Come on, the train will be here soon."
The other Dauntless born got up and said goodbye to her before turning and following Ryker. Echo sighed and got up, turning to go wait for her brother.
"I think your drawings are beautiful." Echo stopped and turned around. Zane was watching her, his green eyes studying her face before meeting her eyes.
"I... What?" He chuckled and took a step closer to her, causing Echo to have trouble remembering to breathe.
"You said we inspired you to want to create something incredibly beautiful, but all you've done are the drawings. I think your drawings are beautiful." Zane explained, smiling down at Echo. She smiled softly in return, but didn't speak. She was caught up in the moment, in the closeness of their bodies.
Then she heard Hunter yell, and the moment was broken. Zane glanced over his shoulder at his friend, waving at Hinter to let him know he was coming, before facing Echo. They looked at each other for a moment, the silence becoming awkward.
"Bye?" Echo broke the silence, her voice soft and unsure. But she smiled when Zane laughed. "Bye."