She wasn't the same person she was thirteen years ago. When she reflected back, she realized how selfish she had been at the time. There had been a point in her life that she had believed that people were permanent and could not change. You were born who you were and that's who you would be the rest of your life. As she grew older, she learned that wasn't the case at all.

Life was composed of milestones, and becoming a mother and a wife had definitely been a huge milestone in her life. Unfortunately, the first had come before the second. She was a firm believer in not getting married just because she was having a baby with someone. In fact, at first she hadn't been so certain she'd even wanted him to be part of her child's life. At one point, she had decided her child would not even have a life.

Early 2000

Elliot's words ate at her brain for the remainder of the day. When she went home, she couldn't stop worrying. Brian Cassidy had been the last man she had been intimate with, and she'd convinced herself that she hadn't had her period since then. She'd thought it was just the birth control, but what if it wasn't? Every comment Elliot had said made absolute sense. What if her illness wasn't just stress? She swallowed hard, as nausea swept over her again as she walked past the pizza joint next to the convenient store. She loved pizza, but the sudden aroma that lingered through her nose made her want to vomit. It's all in my head now, she assured herself. Elliot had forced her to convince herself that she was pregnant, so that's why she was now noticing all the symptoms. She was creating her own placebo pregnancy. That's it, that's what it has to be.

She grabbed a duo pregnancy test kit. Her heart beat rapidly as she held the box in her hand. This was the only way that she would know for sure and could put her mind at ease. Then, she could tell Elliot for sure that she wasn't pregnant. Not that it was any of his business if she was. Well, actually it is, she knew. He was her partner, and her being pregnant would have a huge effect on him. It would mean, if she chose to keep the baby, she would eventually be put on desk duty and he'd need a new partner.

If she chose to keep the baby, the words repeated inside her head. The thought of abortion circled around her head. That's it. If she was pregnant, she could just get an abortion and her problem would be solved. Clearly, that was the best thing to do. She wasn't fit to be a mother, after all. She had no man, and there was no way in hell Brian fucking Cassidy was going to be the father of her child. She couldn't fathom how she'd slept with him. The boy wasn't cut out to be father. He was just a child himself at thirty years old. Some men just never grew up, and Brian Cassidy would be one of those men, she figured. He'd be the man who would gamble all his money away and have to move back in with his mother. She could easily see it happening.

She didn't think highly of Brian, and she was ashamed of what she'd done. Now, she might be pregnant, and that would just mess up everything. She was a detective, and her life was dedicated to taking rapists off the street, and that's where she saw her future. Her future wasn't playing "Mommy." She knew that she would be an absolute horrible mom. She had absolutely horrible genetics. Her mother was a drunk and her father was a rapist. What would that make her child, a drunk rapist? Then, he or she would have Brian's genes, and those certainly weren't promising either.

Dear God, if you're real, please don't let it be so, she thought as she walked in her apartment. She was impatient and couldn't wait any longer to take the test. She entered her bathroom and read the instructions on the kit. It'd been forever since she'd taken a pregnancy test. Her scare, after all, had been when she was in college.

Now was the waiting game. Her heart pounded harder as she waited for the results that would either release her stress or complicate her life to the max. Please be a minus sign, please, she thought, waiting and watching as the plus sign appeared on the test.

Her heart fell to the floor.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, the words pounded in her head, wanting to take the second test immediately, but she knew that she should wait until morning for a more accurate result.

She fell into bed, and her tears bled into her pillow. She hadn't cried this much in a long time. She beat her head against her pillow, wishing the pillow was harder and could inflict more pain. What had she done? She was so stupid, so foolish. This couldn't be happening. Olivia cried herself into a dreamless sleep.

Less than two hours later, Olivia was woken by her beeper. It was Cragen telling her that Elliot was going to swing by and pick her up. A nude body of a woman had been found in a trash can. For just a second, Olivia had forgotten about the pregnancy test. That was, until she went into the bathroom to try to look somewhat decent, and she saw the second pregnancy test sitting by the sink. Her heart sank in her chest, knowing she didn't have time to take the second one now. She quickly set the test inside her cupboard, just in case Elliot had to use the bathroom. She couldn't risk him seeing it and questioning her. Her stomach gurgled, and she realized she hadn't eaten anything the night before. Her stomach had felt so sick after walking by the pizza joint that she hadn't felt the urge to eat the rest of the night. Then, after seeing the result of the first test, she'd been so traumatized that she couldn't eat. Now, she was starving. Perhaps Elliot would want to stop for donuts after they went to the crime scene.

Her head ached, though. She closed her eyes for just a moment. She was so tired. When she closed her eyes, she could still see the light from the bathroom in the center of darkness. The light circles swirled in her head. She wobbled back into the bedroom and found herself falling on the bed. However, she didn't have the opportunity to get too comfortable, because a loud knock soon pounded on her door.

"Coming," she mumbled, grabbing her jacket and heading toward her apartment door. She looked through the small hole to see Elliot standing. She sighed, unlocking the door.

"Hey, Olivia," Elliot greeted her. His smile quickly drooped. "You don't look so hot, Olivia."

"Well, I'm not your wife, so I don't have to look hot," Olivia grumbled.

"Someone didn't wake up on the right side of the bed, I take it," Elliot said, shaking his head. Olivia didn't reply. She locked the door and closed it, walking out with Elliot. Her head was still light, and she felt like she was wandering in darkness. They began to walk down the stairs, but Olivia found herself having a hard time keeping her balance. Elliot's reflexes were fast, as he grabbed her and held her.

"Well, this is awkward," Olivia said, looking at Elliot.

"Liv, you're not okay. I'm paging Cragen and telling him that you're sick and I'm going to stay with you. Munch and Jeffries can cover for us. Come on, let's get you upstairs."

"El, I'm fine!" Olivia insisted, knowing in her heart that she wasn't. She felt like crap, and she just wanted to lie down and fall asleep. Nonetheless, she was determined to meet Cragen at the crime scene. She wasn't about to lose her job just because she felt like shit. She'd gone to work plenty of other times feeling like shit.

"Liv, look at yourself. You need to take care of yourself first. The job comes second. Now, come on. I'm not leaving you." He put his arm around her and guided her up the stairs.

"Something tells me that Kathy wouldn't be too keen on you having your arm around me like this," Olivia smirked, teasingly.

"I think she'd be fine with it if she knew the circumstances," Elliot insisted. "Granted, from the outside, this does look pretty bad." He took her keys from her and unlocked her door, and then he guided her to the couch. "There."

"El, I'm really fine," Olivia insisted, looking up at him with wide eyes, as his blue eyes twinkled down on her.

"No, Liv, you're really not. You look like death. As your partner and best friend, I'm not going to let you go out and hurt yourself. Now, I know you say it's none of my business, but I really want to make sure you're okay…"

"Elliot, save it," she said abruptly, knowing she had to tell him the results. Like he'd said, he was her best friend, and she had managed to tell him everything about herself in the short amount of time they had worked together. He wasn't like her previous partners. For one, he genuinely cared about her, and not just as a partner. He cared about her as a friend, too. Their partnership was so much deeper than that of two detectives. He was in some ways like her older brother.

"Liv…"

"Elliot, I took a test."

"And?" he raised an eyebrow.

"It was positive," she whispered, looking at him, trying to fight back her tears; but she just could not hold them inside. The tears ran down her eyes, and Elliot wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. She'd never been this physically close to her partner.

I swear, this isn't EO! Haha. There's no denying that there's sexual tension between Olivia and Elliot (more so, Mariska and Chris), and this is how I think Elliot would have reacted had this happened.