"I can't believe it!" Ino yelled indignant as she pressed her nose against the monitor screen. "148 Hits, 132 Visitors, 6 Story Alerts and only 4 reviews?"

"Calm down woman, it's not that bad." Shikamaru scratched his head. "4 is a good number."

"4… out of 132 people… just 4… you!" She point at the screen. "You like reading but not reviewing! What do I have to do? Make out with Shikamaru?"

"Eh… I don't think…"

"All right Shikamaru, come here!"

"No, no way! Hey… what are you doing?"

"I'm writing chapter two!"

"Help me!"

And that's what happened… To ShikaIno1, mysticXdrops, ShikaInoInuKikIchiHime36 and Shizuka Taiyou, we are very grateful. To the rest who didn't review… you'll have to pay for Shikamaru's therapy.

Chapter Two

Like Me

"Shikamaru, would you like to kiss me?"

Shikamaru nearly choked with his own tongue.

"P-Pardon?" He blinked rapidly, not sure he had heard her right.

"Would-you-like-to-kiss-me?" She repeated slowly.

'Crap!'

"I… eh…" He slowly scooted away from her. "I'm not really… I don't think… no." He concluded finally.

"Oh." Was Ino's only reply. She then fell silent for a really long time

"Anyways, I'm going to bed already." He yawned. "You should do the same."

But just as he was about to get up, Ino reached out for his arm and held him in place.

"Is there something wrong with me?" She half-squealed. He couldn't tell if her eyes were glassy because she was drunk or because she was holding back her tears. "Don't you think I'm pretty?"

'Hell no!' Was his first choice, but he knew better than that.

"It's not that, you're just…" What was that crappy phrase they all used? "You're not my type."

Yeah, that was it!

"Really?" She squinted at him. "Then who IS your type?"

"Well, you know, girls like…" Temari's face flashed before his eyes. "Why are you asking me this anyways?"

"You see… there is this guy I really like, and I told him so, but he said he'd never be interested in me because…" Shikamaru watched in horror as a river of tears began flowing down her cheeks. "He said…" She whimpered. "He said I'm clingy and annoying and he can't stand the sound of my voice. He said that my very presence bothers him and then, to top things up, he said that he doesn't like blonds!"

"Woah." Was all Shikamaru could say.

He knew well enough that Ino WAS all those things, but to think someone had said it to her like that made him annoyed somehow.

Who was this guy anyways? Not even Sasuke had rejected her like that, and he was the last Uchiha for God's sake!"

"Well, there has to be someone else out there who likes you."

Ino shook her head sadly.

"Ever since Sasuke-kun left I've been trying to find someone, but it's always the same." She chugged down another bottle. "No one's interested in me!"

"Yeah, that kind of sucks." Shikamaru agreed, leaning back against the couch.

A few seconds of awkward silence passed.

"Ne, Shikamaru." Ino called sweetly, which was something rare coming from her.

He turned his head in her direction only to find Ino's face barely 3 inches away from his.

"What?" He tried to back away but he had already reached the end of the couch.

"Have you ever kissed someone?" She tilted her head.

"Yeah." He managed to choke out.

"Oh, don't lie to me Shikamaru." She placed her hand on his chest and pushed him on his back. "I promise I won't laugh."

"I'm not, I've actually… well it was more like SHE kissed me, but…" He blushed and looked away.

"Then you know how to do it? Are you a good kisser?"

"Ye… no… how the hell should I know, I've never kissed myself!" He snapped, his face turning bright red. "Why do you care anyways? It's not as if you've ever cared about anything I do!"

"Because I've never kissed anyone." Ino answered pitifully, then she drew closer and all but sat over him. "Could you be a good teammate and teach me Shikamaru?"

'Hold the world! What?'

At this point it became clear that Ino was WAY beyond drunk because, Shikamaru thought, she couldn't really be THAT desperate.

"You know what Ino?" He tried to push her away without having to actually touch her. "I'm not that drunk and I seriously don't think you're desperate enough to… mmnhhn!"

He was cut short by Ino's lips pressing against his.

"Mnghh!" He complained, trying to het Ino off him but she held him by the back of his neck so he couldn't break the lip lock.

It felt kind of good, Shikamaru admitted. But this was Ino he was kissing for God's sake!

'She's going to kill me! She's going to KILL ME!'

Using what was left of his strength and, hell, a lot of will power, he pushed his knees and elbows against her to het her away.

"Stop, stop that!" he panted once he could breath again.

"Shikamaru." She said almost pleadingly.

"Sorry." He rolled off the couch onto the floor, then jumped to his feet before she could get any ideas. "You've got the wrong guy here."

"But… but I…" Her bottom lip began to quiver as a fresh round of tears flooded her eyes. "Not even you?"

"Don't get like that again, I just… hey!" What was that supposed to mean?

What's wrong with me Shikamaru?" She cried out hysterically. "Tell me just what is it that you don't like about me! TELL ME!"

"Well…" He began making a mental list.

You're bossy, you're noisy, you're rude, self-centered, aggressive, highly volatile, the ring of your voice is almost unbearable and you just don't know when to shut up!

But of course, he couldn't say any of those things out loud.

"Is it my hair?" She gasped, then pulled off the ribbon that held up her hair. The long, blond locks cascaded down her back. "You don't like blonds?"

"Er…" He flinched. Once again, Temari's face flashed in his head. "I don't really have anything against…" The last words were unintelligible because he mumbled them under his breath.

"Is it my body then? Am I fat?" Shikamaru shook his head. "My legs then?"

At the mention of her legs, his eyes instinctively trailed down to them. Shikamaru noticed it on time and turned his eyes away as if they had been burnt by the vision

They were okay, he guessed (not that he knew the difference), so he only shrugged in answer.

"Then why Shikamaru? Why didn't they like me?" She grabbed his face and turned him so she could see into his eyes. "Why don't you like me?"

Shikamaru groaned inwards and shook his head.

"How should I know?" He rolled his eyes. "I don't like you, not as a woman anyways, but I don't really know why."

Of course he knew exactly why, but he knew better than to tell Ino.

"Hmm…" She appeared lost in thought for a moment, then a strange look crossed her face. "You don't have a reason not to like me, but what if…" She stepped closer to him and crossed her arms behind his neck.

"He-Hey!" Shikamaru complained, trying to ignore the burning in his cheeks.

"What if I give you a reason to like me?"

'No this again!'

"All right, all right!" He raised his hands in defeat "I'll tell you why."

"Oh." She stepped away and looked at him expectantly.

"Listen, I don't know about the other guys, how should I? But I know I can't like you for the simple fact that you're my teammate."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, my job is to go around with you on missions, piss you off whenever I can and protect you if necessary. That's what a teammate does, nothing else. I don't like you like that and I'm not supposed to either, but it's really no big deal I mean, we both know I'm not exactly "Boyfriend Material." If I were you I'd find someone who likes me for who I am instead of wasting time and energy trying to please me."

"Wow." She muttered. "That was deep."

"Ugh, now I think I'm gonna be sick!" He made a disgusted face. "Why are women so troublesome?"

He walked to the cooler and pulled out two more bottles, then started up the stairs to the second floor.

"I'm going to sleep, you should do the same."

"Yeah." Ino answered vacantly, grabbing another bottle herself. "Just a minute."

(Loves Me… Loves Me Not…)

"What a night." Shikamaru sighed as he kicked off his shoes. "Talk about craziness."

The memory of Ino's kiss came back to him in a rush, along with an oppressive sense of guilt.

He shook his head hard and drained out his two bottles before he could think about it again.

This was a night he really didn't want to remember.

(Loves Me… Loves Me Not…)

'Ne, Shikamaru…' He could hear the voice but couldn't tell who it belonged to. 'Are you asleep?'

"Nnh."

'The lights are out, I'm scared. Can I sleep with you?'

"Whatever." He grumbled, rolling over to his left side.

(Loves Me… Loves Me Not…)

So the make-out session didn't go too far. I hope you don't mind it and… come on guys, just review. It won't cost you nothing!

PREVIEW:

"Ino?" He tried again.

Still no answer, so he merely shrugged and advanced to the next door.

There was no answer here either but, luckily for him, this was a boy's room and he could get in no problem.

Yeah… luckily…

"Shikamaru!" He poked his head inside. "How long are you going to HOLLY SHIT!"

His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he gapped at the scene before him.

"Get up! Both of you get up NOW!"

Chapter Three: "Surprise!"