A/N: Thank you all who have reviewed: CyanB , voltagelisa, Defiant Anjeru, and Spyke1985. I hope you'll like this chapter. :)
Thank you to The Red Celt for beta reading and for her suggestions.
Disclaimer: BioWare owns Mass Effect and its characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Now that she had Garrus back, she took him on every mission she could. It felt good to have him near; there was nobody she trusted more and she knew that he felt the same way about her. They fell into their old routine of working together as a well-oiled machine, fighting enemies and watching each other's backs, joking and laughing when things eased up a little, and creeping behind cover silently when necessary.
Her team started to fill out with new members, too: they recruited Zaeed, a ruthless mercenary; fought through Purgatory, the prison ship, and succeeded in convincing Jack, who—much to her surprise—turned out to be a young woman (crazy biotic bitch, according to Zaeed) to join them despite her hatred of Cerberus. They even managed to snag a perfect, tank-born krogan. He wasn't Wrex, but he had potential, despite his youth and inexperience.
The ship started to feel a little bit more like home and, though she still missed some of her old friends from the first Normandy, she began to develop a certain familiarity with her new crew. Whenever she was done checking and answering her mail, studying the parameters of the next mission, writing her reports, and doing all that boring administrative stuff she always hated, she went around the ship and talked to whoever wasn't in the middle of some important task. She enjoyed spending time with Mordin and finding out about his days with the STG, listened to Zaeed's tall tales of survival, tried to guide Grunt, the young krogan, along the path to adulthood, and even had a poker game with Gabby and Ken in engineering. Garrus was glued to his console, calibrating the guns, so she had to catch him whenever he was having a meal in the mess hall if she wanted to have a chat with him. He was still upset about Sidonis and his dead squad members, and it hurt her to see him like this, but he slowly started to loosen up a bit.
She didn't like to spend much time in her cabin; it felt cold and empty and utterly impersonal. She'd lost all her belongings in the crash of her first ship, and even her omni-tool had been damaged when she'd entered Alchera's atmosphere; she had to be issued a new one by Cerberus. Her model ships, her books, her holos—all gone in the blink of an eye. She did find a turian cruiser and a geth ship model in one of the shops on Omega and, after much deliberation, she decided to spend the credits on them. She placed them on a shelf above her workplace—her first two items of decoration that she'd chosen herself, if you could even call them that. Most people would have adorned their lodgings with paintings, small sculptures or maybe a plant here and there, but she appreciated the sleek lines of a well designed ship much more than any artistic value those other, useless things might have offered.
After some searching, she found an official picture of Kaidan on the extranet, and she downloaded it to her omni-tool. From then on, every night, as she lay in her bed, alone and lonely, she'd bring up that picture on the screen and stare at him, drinking in the warmth of his brown eyes, the slight curve of his lips and the curls in his hair. Then she'd say good-night to him, turn off the screen and the lights and try to go to sleep. If she was tired enough, she'd fall into an exhausted, dreamless state of unconsciousness, but most of the time she'd toss and turn around, wishing that he was there to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be all right: they were going to get through this—together.
When they docked at the Citadel to pick up Kasumi Goto, the best thief in the galaxy and a highly skilled tech expert (at least according to the Illusive Man's dossier), Shepard decided to grab the opportunity to do some shopping, both for upgrades and for her own quarters.
Garrus and Grunt had no trouble getting through the newly established security checkpoint, but the scanner insisted that she was dead—which had practically been true, at least until a few months ago, when her cells had slowly started to regenerate. It was a grim reminder both to herself and to Garrus just how far she'd gone down the path of no return before she was brought back into the land of the living by an organization that she'd never thought she'd ever work with.
She still wasn't sure how she felt about the whole thing. She was glad to be alive, even if the life she was given consisted of fighting enemies, getting injured, then being patched up in the med bay almost every day. But the whole idea of dying, her body broken and useless, then being rebuilt cell by cell, tissue by tissue in a lab—she wasn't exactly comfortable with that thought. But that's how it was, and she tried not to dwell on it. So she simply told the guard that she'd been missing in action, talked to Captain Bailey in C-Sec and got re-entered into the system. Being a hero sometimes had its advantages.
Garrus watched the scene unfold in front of him and couldn't help but think about the moment when she'd come back into his life. He didn't care how it happened, not even that it was done by Cerberus. All that mattered was that she was alive. He'd mourned her, grieved for her; he'd blamed himself for not being there to protect her. As soon as he'd rejoined her crew he'd made a solemn vow that he would never make that same mistake again. Dealing with the Citadel's bureaucracy, however, was an altogether different matter; it wasn't as though he could point his rifle at the C-Sec officers and demand that they let her through. So when the captain reinstated her without any difficulty and they could finally stroll into Zakera Ward, he released the breath he'd been holding and followed right behind her. Just like he would follow her into hell or anywhere else her path would take them.
Since their funds were limited, they went to Rodam Expeditions, Saronis Applications and the Sirta Foundation first to purchase all the upgrades they could afford before Shepard could even think about looking at any other shops to browse for some other items. It never ceased to amaze and annoy her that after Cerberus had spent four billion credits on bringing her back from the cold clutches of death, not to mention the resources they'd spent on rebuilding the Normandy, they still had to scavenge for heat sinks and power cells and hack every safe she could find for credits on their missions, and could never afford everything she wanted to outfit her squad (and herself) with to give them the best possible odds against the enemy.
She did get a nice sniper rifle mod for Garrus, which almost made him purr with joy, and got some foodstuffs, both dextro and levo, at Zakera Café.
Thankfully she still had some money left, so she led her team to Citadel Souvenirs next. She'd noticed the little store on their way to Rodam Expeditions and was anxious to browse its offerings. Not like she expected the shop to provide any useful items for the mission, but she hoped that she could find some decorations for her cabin to make it a little more personal and home-like.
Garrus and Grunt had to pick up the pace to keep up with her as she rushed over to the store. When they arrived, they almost bumped into her as she suddenly stopped in her tracks, staring at the model ships on the shelves, the colorful fish gliding around gracefully in a big aquarium, and a few old fashioned picture frames in the corner, gathering dust and seemingly forgotten. Not many people used those anymore; holos were much more popular these days.
"What are we getting here?" Grunt rumbled, looking around. He was getting tired of all this shopping. He did like to explore new places, and the Citadel was interesting for the first ten minutes, but his patience was wearing thin by now. He hoped that this was going to be the first and last shopping trip Shepard ever took him on; he'd much rather rush into blood-pumping battle with her than follow her around on a stupid space station.
"Some model ships. And some fish. Definitely some fish," she said, her eyes sparkling with the joy of a child on Christmas morning.
"Why are we getting fish?" Grunt shook his head in bewilderment, but then he remembered something. They'd overheard a krogan whine about wanting to eat some fish earlier; maybe it really was some delicacy and they were going to have Gardner prepare it for dinner. Or just eat it raw. Raw would be good, too, he was sure of that. "Are we going to eat it?" He smacked his lips as his stomach growled; he hadn't even realized until now how hungry all this running around had made him.
"No!" Shepard exclaimed, horrified, staring at her "baby krogan", as Kelly had called him when she had first brought him on board. "I have a huge aquarium in my quarters. All it's missing is some fish, so I'm going to get some."
"And who's going to feed them?" Garrus interjected with a grin. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you sometimes forget to feed even yourself?"
"I... won't forget," she said defiantly, crossing her arms in front of her chest and glaring at the smirking turian. "It's not up for debate; I'm getting some, and that's all there is to it."
"It's your choice. But I won't be surprised if one day you find them floating upside down in the tank. Dead," he added helpfully. His voice rumbled with all the seriousness such an important matter deserved, but his eyes glinted with mischief.
"Can I eat them then?" Grunt asked hopefully, and Shepard couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness.
"Fine." She shrugged her shoulders, then turned to the kiosk to start placing her order. "But I don't think that will ever happen. I'll keep them alive."
"We'll see about that," Garrus drawled as he watched her punch the numbers in.
She also bought two ship models, and when the purchase was cleared, she turned to the saleswoman behind the counter.
"Umm... Can I take a look at one of those picture frames?"
"Of course. Which one?" The asari smiled pleasantly as she regarded the armored human with the strange companions.
"The black and silver one."
The clerk went over to the corner and picked the frame up. She dusted if off with her hands as she returned to the counter.
"I have a picture on my omni-tool. Can you make a print of it to put in this frame?" Shepard asked with some hesitation. She wasn't sure if these kinds of shops still did that; they used to, but that was a long time ago.
"Yes, just open up your omni-tool so I can upload the picture to our printer," the asari replied matter-of-factly, and Shepard had to fight to urge to jump over the counter and hug her.
She outstretched her arm, twisting it so that the screen faced the clerk, and brought up Kaidan's holo. The next moment the sound of a faint sigh demanded her attention, and she turned her head to look back at her team behind her. Grunt was still staring at the fish in the tank with hunger in his eyes, but Garrus seemed to be watching her with sadness, his mandibles pulled in tightly to his face.
"Are you okay?" she asked, unsure if she'd interpreted his facial expression correctly.
"I'm fine," he replied, but he didn't sound like it. He turned away and pretended to watch the passersby in the surrounding area.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the clerk, telling her that the print was ready. They put the picture in the frame, then she paid and took the bag with her treasure inside as she instructed the asari to have the fish and the ship models delivered to the Normandy as soon as possible.
They went back to the docking bay in silence, and were about to enter the elevator to go to their respective floors when Kelly called out to her.
"Commander, the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you."
Shepard stopped in her tracks with a sigh. "I'll be right there." She signaled Garrus and Grunt to take the elevator without her.
She strode into the conference room and put the bag down before she stepped into the circle to initiate the connection.
"Shepard," the Illusive Man said as he came into view, exhaling a puff of smoke and swirling his drink in a glass.
'He's going to die of lung cancer or liver failure. Or both,' she thought. Not that she cared; he could die of the most horrible disease as far as she was concerned, and she wouldn't spare him a thought— as long as it happened after they'd dealt with the Collectors and whoever was moving the strings behind them.
"Horizon—one of our colonies in the Terminus Systems—has just gone silent. I think it's the Collectors. They are either there right now, or soon will be. This would be a perfect opportunity to catch them in the act. Has Mordin been able to develop the countermeasure against their seeker swarms?"
"Not yet," she said, her mind already racing ahead, putting the team roster, attack plans, and other mission specifics together.
"There's something else you should know," the Illusive Man continued. "Kaidan Alenko is on Horizon."
"Why? What is he doing there?" Her stomach fluttered at the mention of his name and the possibility of meeting up with him.
"Officially it's an outreach program from the Alliance. But there must be some other reason. The Alliance wouldn't send one of its most decorated soldiers to a faraway colony just for a PR stunt. But you'll have to ask him about it yourself—I don't have any other information than what I've already told you."
"All right. Send the coordinates to Joker and we'll head right there."
She barely heard his "Good luck" as she hurried out the door, picking up the bag on her way out.
'Kaidan. Hold on; I'm coming,' was all she could think about as she hurried to the tech lab to talk to Mordin and get ready.