"Dear Otou-san and Okaa-san,

This school is very interesting. I watched one of my teachers arrive to the school parking lot in a mecha suit. I'm not sure how they managed to land that thing without killing anyone. Then those two weird dudes (turns out their names are Masq and Ginger) 'landed' in the parking lot. Though Masq was like, this yellow pegasus and Ginger was on his back getting a free trip. Then Masq turned back to the weird dude he was, and Ginger said something about a free ride. Wait. Oh. My. Kami-sama. I understand what he meant now. Oh. That's just… OH! WHY!

Getting as far from that topic as I possibly can… last night my roommate didn't show. The nerve of her! Found out from a teacher I'm rooming with a lesbian named 'Orimoto Izumi.' She's a newbie just like me. Ugh, can't stand that word. But it's what I am, as much as it hurts to admit it. I don't know anything about this school! It's so surreal. It's like I walked out of reality and into an anime or manga. Considering this is my first day of school here, and my second day since arriving… I doubt you've responded to my first letter. Especially since I'm just now continuing it from yesterday. Well, I'll send it off after I finish up this paragraph. In your response letter, can you PLEASE explain to me where I am? Looked at the maps in someone's geography book, and 'Sun' still wasn't in there! Your handsome son, Kanbara Takuya."

Stuffing the letter into an envelope, he licked the flap of it and sealed it tight. He stumbled around in his dimly lit room, trying to locate the shirt that went with the summer uniform. Once it was found, he pulled it over his head and on it went! Adjusting it so the folds were not placed in the more uncomfortable areas, he nodded when he was set. Grabbing the vest, he gave it a strange look before putting it on. He already felt too warm. This uniform couldn't be the summer one—it was way too hot. Seriously. Black? In summer? Did the principal WANT them to die! Grumbling, he grabbed his bag and set out on a grand journey. What was this grand journey? To hopefully meet someone in this whacked out school. He didn't see anyone from his old school; it was an unfamiliar surrounding, and he could not go back to sleep even though it was about seven in the morning and breakfast wasn't ready for another two hours.

Walking through the deserted hallways of the dorms, he looked from left to right, trying to find anyone that could have possibly been awake. No one was. Frowning, he sighed, figuring he shouldn't have been surprised. It was the end of the summer—people were still trying to get accustomed to not waking up at the crack of noon. What he himself was doing up before then was beyond him. It may have had something to do with the issue involving him staying in a strange place he had never even heard of until now.

Trudging along, annoyed, he eventually made his way out to the courtyard of the high-college school thinger-mabob. Noting that there was no one else to be seen at first glance, he sighed before falling face first onto the nearest table. "This suuuuuuucks," the brunette whined, and laid there for several minutes.

A book fell. Frowning, Takuya removed his face from the tabletop, and checked his bag. Nope. He had all his books in there, and none had fallen out. Curious, he peered around, and then… he saw HIM. No, not HIM the band, HIM as in the sexiest of all sexies in the world; as in, the first guy to make him feel gay in more ways than one, but not in the perverted way, if that made any sense at all. It doesn't? Oh well, onto more important things.

Sleek jet-black hair the color of Takuya's mother's leather jacket, with the shine to match, was tied in a low ponytail at the nape of the other guy's neck. Half-lidded, disinterested blue eyes looked down at his fallen book. Even his book was sexy. His eyebrow popped upward in a twitch of irritation, despite his eyes clearly stating he didn't care. Cool, he could feel two emotions at the same time but still have them separate. Duo personality? He had pale skin, perhaps too pale… VAMPIRE! The sexy guy was a vampire! With… with… with a twin who was a ghost! And like… there was a girl who could turn into a were-cat, and a dude who was a lightning demon and… why did Takuya feel as though he was naming characters from a story written by a disgruntled teenager?

…Back to the Uber Sexy. Or US. Better yet… Uber & Pretty Sexy. UPS. Yeah… they could UPS the sexy one to Takuya anytime, uh-huh. OMFLL WHAT A LAME PICK-UP LINE! The brunette whacked himself upside the head for THAT one. Fine. Just… Uber Sexy. No initials. No corny lines… just his thoughts concentrating on the deity in human form far away from him. ACK! Again, with the corniness! Takuya needed to read something that would take his mind from this crap, like a gaming magazine. Or perhaps the latest issue of B's Log. Shut up! He thought Love Revo was an awesome game, damnit! And it had nothing to do with the fact that it involved lots of sexy men. NOTHING! …no wonder he had all these corny lines in his head. Right! Back to Uber Sexy!

He wore the school uniform, which looked mighty nice on him. But then, considering this sleek, pale, and sexy guy was the Uber Sexy, this shouldn't have been surprising. Mustering up his courage (and realizing this was his chance to make a new friend), Takuya walked over to meet this unusually attractive fellow. The Uber Sexy was still looking down at his book, perhaps having an epic internal battle that would decide whether he picked it up or not. Again, the brunette wondered if this guy had duo personalities... and hoped there were no bi-polar tendencies if this was so.

"What?" Uber Sexy snapped, eyes never leaving the book, but at least acknowledging the brunette's existence. He had a nice deep voice that sounded as though he had had it since he was twelve due to early puberty. Or maybe Takuya was crazier than he thought, and this insanity only decided to finally show itself when he was placed here. Perhaps that was why his parents sent him to the school?

"Is the meat raw, or undercooked?" Takuya asked, and immediately regretted his inquiry. But hey, on the bright side it got Uber Sexy to actually look at him! Err, down at him. Whatever.

"…The hell?" Uber Sexy gave him a look that matched his words, staring as though he was so baffled as to what to do when approached by a weirdo that all he could do was stand there and stare. Or maybe the brunette was lucky enough to attract Uber Sexy? …nah. He was never that lucky. Wait. Wasn't he questioning, and totally not gay? Silence. He'd totally have to experiment with Uber Sexy. Snoggage hardcore man, snoggage hardcore. Shit. More corniness. Well, at least that weird and random crap that just came out of his mouth causing the Uber Sexy to stare wasn't corny. It was weird, but far from corny.

"So uhm… that book bite ya or something?" Takuya asked, trying to change the subject from his sudden weird, absurd words. Man, he was digging himself a hole—books don't bite people! …Normally. There was this one time... at band camp...

"No..." Uber Sexy said slowly, as though he did indeed think Takuya was crazy and only awake at this hour to do some serious drugs that would induce him into such weird behavior. Sheesh, these people haven't even met Izumi yet.

"Why'd you, uhm… drop it?" Takuya asked, slowly backing away. Uber Sexy was highly attractive, but the current blank expression somehow said, 'I'm going to eat you in a minute' and the brunette wasn't quite sure how to react to it. So he was backing away like the good little uke he was. 'NOTANUKE!' Yeah you are. 'NOI'MNOT!' Yeah you are. 'You're just taking jokes from ITF to make this better! CHEATER! DIE! Die and burn in hell bitch!' Dude, it's called Fanservice High. What'd you think would happen? Gardens At Eve was already referenced in here. 'I hate you.' And we love you and shall forever put you in awkward situations that exploit your ukeness. 'Etmiohotqw!'

"I didn't," Uber Sexy growled. What kind of person growled? Either a very angry person, or a very perverted person. KEEP YOUR THUMBS TO YOURSELVES! Sickos. Tch.

"Then how did it get on the ground?" Takuya asked, still backing away, kind of intimidated by the growl. And that look. And his semeness. Yeah. ',Rtlk;eynoy!' Did anyone hear that? We didn't hear that… Fangirls Gone Nuts Inc. heard nothing at all. 'BLATENT AIN'T IT IRONIC REFERENCE!' …muahahah. Yeah. 'You people have some serious issues. And why am I, the mighty Takuya, talking with you?' You're an uke, what more of a reason do you need? 'Wtgn weihytwmgy wrseye!' Oh, alliteration!

"…God wanted it to be there," Uber Sexy mumbled, eyes shifting. Okay, he was making that one up right there.

"Did he now?" Takuya asked, hands on his hips and choosing to humor the almighty sexy one. He was less intimidating with those shifty eyes. Those shifty, blue eyes… damn fangirls.

"Yes. Yes he did. Told me so himself," Uber Sexy said, almost hesitantly.

"Why did he want the book to be there?" Takuya asked, raising a brow and crossing his arms. Oh yeah, he thought. He was totally in control of the situation now. But Uber Sexy seemed to notice this as well, and decided it was a time for change in tactics.

"Look, the book is there, now deal with it. It's my own business why my book is on the ground and I'm staring at it! BACK OFF OR PICK IT UP!" Uber Sexy snarled, scaring the brunette one. Not wanting to leave the presence of Uber Sexy (more than he hated being told what to do, it was to be alone), he quickly scrambled to pick it up, and handed it over to Uber Sexy. "…" Uber Sexy appeared confused that rather than run away in fear, this idiot just handed him his book. "…Okay." He took it, unsure now.

"This school weirds me out." Takuya felt he needed to explain.

"Your roommate has their head screwed on wrong as well?" Uber Sexy inquired.

"My roommate never showed up, that jerk. Supposed to be this lesbian. Thing. Critter." Takuya couldn't exactly call this 'girl' a lady or anything, simply because to him… lesbians were all entirely their own special little breed. They weren't quite girls, but they were certainly not male. They were things… that while fun to hang out with, were very strange. Definitely not human.

"Oh. Mine's a bisexual with a strange fetish for yaoi situations. It's kind of creepy," Uber Sexy explained.

"So your roommate is a guy?" Takuya asked, feeling sad. The way Uber Sexy put it, he was not interested in other males. How depressing.

"No, it's a girl. Her name is Yoshino," Uber Sexy explained, nodding. Takuya stared at him. "Told you her head wasn't screwed on right."

"Oh." Takuya blinked, meanwhile thinking he still had a chance at experimenting. Yeah… experimenting. He gave up on not being corny, he was doomed to be in this piece o' crap fanfiction without any plot or meaning behind it. Other than the lesson of if your parents plan on sending you somewhere you never heard of before or can even find on a map… there's reason to worry.

"..." Uber Sexy said nothing, but he did put his book back into his bag. It was quiet. Almost too quiet… IT WAS AWKWARD SILENCE! O.o

"So uhm… what all classes are you taking?" Takuya asked suddenly, trying to kill the awkward silence with that famous icebreaker. He should have gotten the IceBreakers to do it for him though… they're much better at it.

"Four academic classes and two electives," Uber Sexy shrugged, hopping up to sit on the table. Secretly, he was desperate for a friend here as well, it seemed. Or perhaps he really did have duo personalities and one half wanted to be Takuya's friend while the other half wanted Takuya to die. It would explain a lot. What if one personality was gay and the other one was straight? The only way Uber Sexy would be happy was if he went out with a hermaphrodite. And why was Takuya thinking about this!
"Err, right. But what KIND of classes?" the brunette asked. Hopefully he would have some classes with the sexiest of all sexies. Uber Sexy eyed him as though wondering if the brunette was thinking just that, and so Takuya looked away as though distracted. Those blue eyes were so intense… Takuya was afraid they might be magnets.

"Statistics, Creative Writing IV, Computer Graphics, Draw/Paint VII, Anatomy, and History I. In no particular order," Uber Sexy sighed, releasing this highly confidential information one could easily learn from at the front desk most likely.

"Isn't Creative Writing an elective, and not a language-based class?" Takuya asked, confused somewhat.

"Weren't you listening yesterday?" Uber Sexy growled, giving an irritated glare. "The only people with actual language-based classes are those who wish to major in learning that language. Creative Writing is designated as a replacement for it so we don't lose our skills in that area. Plus, people from all over the world are going to this school—ONE language class wouldn't work out for all the different languages spoken here."

"…Oh." Takuya stared. He never actually thought about it that way. People from all over the world came here? That was amazing. They must have some bilingual or trilingual creative writing teachers. Uber Sexy suddenly froze, and then shot up.

"I gotta go," Uber Sexy whispered, and then left as though Takuya was the reason the Black Plague existed way back when. The brunette pouted. Right when he thought he made a friend…

"AHA!" a female's voice shouted, startling Takuya enough to make him jump nearly .03 feet in the air.

"Wh-what?" The brunette stammered, whirling around. He saw... nothing.

"I bet you're my roommate!" the female voice continued, followed by maniacal laughter. Suddenly, a strange girl jumped out of a garbage can and onto the table… staring down at him with a cocky grin. She wore the girl's school uniform, though she had on black boots to go with it. She had sky blue eyes, and long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. "They call me Orimoto Izumi!" She bowed. "Please to make your acquaintance."

"…You've gotta be kidding me." Takuya's eye twitched up at the girl before him. SHE was his roommate! "And how did you know I'm Takuya…?" He ogled.

"When I got to our room—extremely late because my flight got delayed so I just got here; thankfully this nice man named Ginger helped me out—no one was there. So I changed into my uniform and snuck out here. Saw you and this other dude, and figured one of you had to be my roommate. The dude with black hair is blatantly a seme homosexual, the gay waves were radiating off of him as though he were crack and they wanted a little sum'in sum'in. You however… I got nothin'. You're confused. But I'll fix that!" Izumi explained, arms in the air as she spun around. The brunette patiently waited for the time she would fall off the table and break her neck.

"By any chance, did you have sugar this morning?" Takuya asked, backing away in case she fell on him.

"Yes! How did you know?" Izumi squeaked, and then hopped off of the table.

"Lucky guess," Takuya sighed, and buried his face in his hands. "Why me…?" he mumbled.

"I bet I scared Black-Haired Dude, or BHD—kind of like how they called Roxas BHK before we knew his name o.o—off because his acute fangirl senses were tingling. That always seems to scare off the gay ones before I get close enough to snap a photo." Izumi nodded, bouncing around as the sugar rush did its job, and well.

"Right... Wait. What?" Takuya's eyes narrowed. So SHE was the reason Uber Sexy scrambled off... BHD. Curses, why couldn't he be that creative without actually being creative? That wasn't corny!

"So!" Izumi ceased bouncing and ignored his words. "Let's get to know each other before school and make up for my delayed entrance! We already know one another's names, so let's move on. What are your interests?" she asked, head tilted and hands on hips.

"Uh… I like stuff?" Takuya tried, not wanting to be this maniac's friend. She was scary.

"Pfft! Everyone likes 'stuff'; it's a general term that needs to be narrowed down to more specific items in which we can use to bond! Like brother and sister! I can be your crazy lesbian older sister, and you can be my cute little uke brother that needs to be protected from the crazy semes in the world! Or maybe we can be RP buddies! THAT'D BE SO COOL! I call dibs on all the seme charries because I bet you make adorable little uke charries! Squee!" With this, Izumi zoned out into her happy world and spun around whilst squealing. On the upside, at least the blonde admitted that she was aware of her crazy tendencies. That was reassuring.

"Wait. Uke? I'MNOTANUKE!" Takuya yelled, waggling his arms around wildly. Izumi calmed herself to reply, rolling her eyes at him.

"Puh-LEEZE. Whether you're gay, straight, bi, pan, or whatever other type of sexual orientation there is… you would be the one on the bottom begging for more," Izumi snorted.

"I would not," Takuya scowled, crossing his arms at her.

"Right there. Uke reaction. To the extreme. Ultra Uke." Izumi pointed at his crossed arms, a fanged smile showing.

"THAT IS NOT AN UKE REACTION! It's a normal response to false accusations!" Takuya yelled, waggling his arms about again.

"That is too. Uke in denial. Phew! I sure have my work cut out for me, don't I? And you were supposed to be a senior in high school before you came here… for shame! What, did you like… not think about why one gender looked better than the other until now or something?" Izumi asked, rolling her eyes at him and shaking her head.

"Until I came here, I was captain of the soccer team. Until here, I was always too busy to really care about relationships or such. I had friends, and they were all I needed. Then I come here and they're asking me about my sexual orientation, my life expectancy, there's weird guys claiming God wanted their book to be on the ground, and finally crazy lesbians accusing me of things that I never bothered to think about with expectations I'm already aware or in denial of!" Takuya yelled, arms still waving around wildly.

"Oh. Why didn't you say so? Mah, I shouldn't have assumed then…" Izumi wiggled her arms and spun around in circles once more. "Silly me. I'm sorry, please do forgive me. Most my life I had plenty of time to contemplate these things, it was wrong of me to automatically believe that was the lifestyle of others. I'm uhm… a bit, short on the friend supply? But that probably wouldn't surprise you, so far you've reacted the same way most normal people do. I'm just trying to make this work because we're dorming together. So far I think you're a total ass though." She nodded. She was brutally honest—enough so Takuya stopped spazzing and just stared at her, unsure what to do now.

"Ah... sorry too." The brunette sighed. "I'm just not used to girls that are... as enthusiastic as you are," he explained, scratching the back of his head. "Plus you scared away BHD. I thought he was cool." He grinned. The blonde grinned back.

"Okay, let's start all over again. Get to know each other so we stop giving the wrong impressions, heh..." Izumi offered, holding out her hand. Takuya smiled, and shook it.

"Deal," were the agreed upon words.

Until breakfast time, the two talked and discovered more about the other. Takuya learned Izumi already had a girlfriend that attended Fanservice High, and was one year up on them. The blonde had by special request of her girlfriend, Mimi, been allowed to enter the school. Had she not, the blonde wouldn't be attending this year and be very sad. The two had been going out for three years now, first meeting when Izumi was a freshman in high school and Mimi was a sophomore. Later when Izumi became a junior, Mimi had started her first year at Fanservice High. The two remained in contact through letters, e-mail, forums, and instant messengers, but it was still a very long and horribly miserable year. Their parents couldn't detach the two from each other for a week (almost quite literally; they only separated when one had to use the bathroom).

Izumi learned that Takuya had your basic, normal life, which was rather out of the ordinary for this school. Most parents sent their children here because they were either social outcasts, unaccepted, or horribly anti-social. They were what the school had been made for, actually—teens that needed somewhere to go to finally be accepted for who they were, and not face peer pressure to fake identities so they wouldn't be hated. The best way for this was to send the child off somewhere that they probably knew no one at all. There would have been an elementary and middle school as well, but the provider didn't have enough monetary resources to build one.

Because they were the first ones in line (the two figured it best to get in line before everyone started waking up), they had their food before anyone else. They did not see BHD, but they knew he was up and about somewhere; he was either really wary of Izumi, or one of those people that never ate breakfast. Choosing one of the many tables, they sat there and resumed talking. Their conversations, however, were doomed to be interrupted (as always). This time though, by two familiar faces and one new one.

"Hey Takuya!" a male voice chirped. Blinking, the more brunette brunette turned around to see… Sora!

"…Sora?" Takuya asked, blinking at the less brunette brunette but still a brunette.

"Yeah! Can we sit here?" Sora asked. By 'we,' he meant himself and the really sexy man creature next to him with silver hair and sea green eyes. His locks were layered, and he was the taller of the two.

"Uhm… do you mind if they do?" Takuya asked Izumi, and sweat-dropped at the blinking dot-eyed girl she was latched to.

"Only if she can!" Izumi cooed, snuggling the still dot-eyed girl. This girl was maybe a year older than them, and had long pink hair with red streaks in it placed in two low pigtails. She had light fudge brown eyes, and made Takuya want chocolate now because his mind was thinking about fudge. Somehow her uniform looked cooler than the other girls', but he couldn't figure out WHY. From how the blonde was snuggling this oddly more stylish girl, he could only assume it was the Mimi his roommate had spoken of earlier.

"Sure." Takuya blinked, and then sweat-dropped when all three newcomers sat down at the exact same time.

"So… who's who?" Sora asked, tilting his head.

"This is my girlfriend Mimi," Izumi announced, latched onto her now obvious koi who just rested her own head on the blonde's, eyes still dotted.

"I'm Sora, and this is my boyfriend Riku," Sora also announced, pointing at the silver-haired guy known as Riku, who now had a raised eyebrow.

"We're going out now?" Riku asked, curious.

"...Yes. Yes we are. Because my parents have no way of finding out. Muahah!" Sora tried to laugh evilly. Silly Sora. Riku just patted his hair, not bothering to argue about it.

"I'm Takuya," The most brunette of the two brunette's stated with a nod.

"Nice to meet you." Mimi offered her hand, and Takuya shook it.

"He's my confused roommate!" Izumi proclaimed… proudly?

"Thanks for telling everyone," Takuya sighed, and poked his eggs. Or at least, he thought they were eggs.

"I already knew; I saw your application. And then I told Riku." Sora nodded, thinking this would make Takuya feel better.

"I could just tell," Mimi stated with a smile.

"…Am I supposed to cheer up?" Takuya asked, not sure. He wasn't accustomed to such abnormalities.

"Yes. Yes you are. Cheer up or die." Izumi threatened him with a spork. LOVECHILD OF THE SPOON AND FORK!

"Okay!" Takuya meeped, afeared of that lovechild. Oh, it was a creepy lovechild indeed! Convenient, yes, but still he found it creepy. And that was precisely how Takuya's first day at Fanservice High began… tune in next time for Digimon. Digital Monsters! 'BLATENT REFERENCE TO THE ANME THIS FANFICTION WAS BASED OFF OF!' …You're still a uke. How cute. 'Rftgowh gewemny we!' Aww, no more alliteration.

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I'm... lazy. And happy belated birthday to everyone. x3 Thank mah sexy and beautiful beta-reader for spiffing this up! Anything confusing about it is the fault of... my big toe. Yeah. Totally.
Disclaimer & Claimer: Digimon and all the other copyrighted crap belongs to their rightful owners. No, I'm not lazy. Btw... uhm... I can't really... think of any original charries in here aside from Masq and Ginger... and they're technically muses and belong to themselves. Owned?
Warnings: As a deranged soul, it is in me to do weird things. As lover of fellow strangers who define the word 'strange', any messed up joke-pairings you guys want (but not ACTUAL pairings) will be put in here. Have fun!
Dominant Pairings: Kouji/Takuya; Mimi/Izumi; Sanzo/Goku; Ginger(OC)/Masq(OC); Ken/Daisuke
Joke Pairings: Ueda/Jima; Axel/Jack Sparrow
P.S.) Love you all. Reviews here, or use the private message thing?