"Honey, are you sure?" My mother asked me, as we stood in front of the security line at the airport. "You know you don't have to do this." She sounded sincere enough, but I knew she was hoping I wouldn't take the out she was offering me. Rene loved me, I knew, but the shit I was putting her through would have been too much for even the most devoted mother.

"I think a change will be good." That wasn't a lie. I needed to get the fuck out of Phoenix.

"I know your father will be glad to see you."

"Yeah." I didn't want to say goodbye to my mom, I really didn't. But none of that emotion was coming through. I felt like I was trapped behind a wall, one that was preventing me from feeling anything too deeply, protecting me from feeling the weight of what leaving Phoenix meant.

"Call me if you need anything. I love you sweetie."

"You too."

My mother looked at me reassuringly, "I think you'll have a great time in Forks." We shared a careful hug, and then she walked away. She left me. My mother left me, her only daughter, at the airport. She was letting me move to Washington. The sting of abandonment came on quickly, even though I had no right to feel it. It was afterall, my choice to move in with my father. And besides that, my relationship with my mother hadn't been great recently. We had been so close, more best friends than mother and daughter only a few months ago. Mark that down as another thing that I destroyed.

While I had to stifle my tears through the security line, the rest of my journey went on without issue. The three hour flight went by quickly, and all too soon I was in Seattle.

My dad was standing outside the security gates. He looked just the same as when I had last seen him over the summer, except he might have had a little more gray in his hair. His cheeks were flushed from the cold and he was smiling. I searched for the pity in his eyes- or worse, fear. That was the way my mom looked at me now. But if Charlie was feeling any of that, he didn't show it.

"Welcome home, Bella." He stepped forward and we had a very awkward and thankfully very brief hug. I made sure that my sweater was pulled down to my wrists, not wanting to take any chances.

"Thanks dad." We didn't usually do the small talk thing , but as we walked to the parking he asked me about the flight, how my mom was doing, and where I was thinking of applying to school next year. My answers were: long, great and I'm not sure yet. I could tell he was avoiding the big question. "Why?" There were other questions too, I'm sure.

"Are you still crazy?"

"Will I come home to find you bleeding in the bathtub, just like your mom did?"

I know he came to see me in the hospital. I vaguely remember his chocolate brown eyes ringed red. That was when I was too drugged up to do much of anything. My mom told me later that he stayed with me for three days before being called back to Forks for work.

We didn't really talk on the hour long ride to his house. I'm not much of a talker, and I must have inherited that from Charlie. I looked out the window into the lush green forest as we sped through the single lane roads on the way to his small hometown: Forks, Washington. It was the rainiest place in the continental US. I thought it would be the perfect place for me to sulk for a year and half, before college. But it wasn't as dreary as I was expecting. Everything looked so alive, even in January. I might be able to live with this. Even the rain wasn't so bad, really, except for what it was sure to do to my hair. That was another gift from Charlie- loose curls that never seemed to behave. I could tame it somewhat in the dry heat of Phoenix, but considering the humidity, I saw a lot of messy buns in my future.

As we turned onto Charlie's street he turned to me,"I got you a little homecoming present."

That was unexpected. As he pulled up to the house I saw my gift. An old Chevy truck at least thirty years older than I was. My face must have betrayed my shock, because Charlie started talking rapidfire, "It used to be Billy Black's- he's in a wheelchair now so he can't drive it, but it runs great. Really! Jacob- remember him? That's Billy's boy. He rebuilt the engine so you won't have any issues with that." I got out of the cruiser- Charlie is Chief Swan to the people of Forks, and examined my gift. To my surprise, I was kind of into it. It looked clunky but it had a little retro charm.

"Listen, I know it's not a fancy, but you will need to get to school and back, and I-" I cut him off.

"I love it Dad."

He looked a little surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

He seemed pleased with himself as he carried my suitcases up the stairs for me. I saw that my room was the same as I had left it, two summers ago. The only recent additions were a brand new comforter and a coordinating lamp, and a bookshelf in the corner.

Charlie gestured to the bed, "I hope you like it. I had the lady at the store pick it out." He was looking a little embarrassed.

"It's great Dad. Thank you." For everything, I added in my head.

"No problem. I'll let you get sorted out in here." With that he walked downstairs and flipped on the TV. That was good with me. I was exhausted. Traveling had worn out my body, and the reality of what I had decided to do was sinking in. I had moved to a new state in the middle of my junior year of high school. I was going to school tomorrow in a town where I knew exactly one person, and that was my father. And those were only my most basic concerns. How could I make as small of an impact as possible in my time here? Since I had seen the vision in the hospital of my untimely demise, I knew I didn't have too much time left. I could be dead anytime in the nearish future. It could happen tomorrow, and best case scenario I had three or four years left in me. My mom didn't look much older in the vision I had seen, so I knew making it to twenty-five probably wasn't in my future. That was one of my major motivations for moving to Forks. If I stepped out of my mom's life now, my death wouldn't hit her as hard. I thought of this as a kind of trial run- my mom can get used to life without me. I still planned on keeping up with her, and maybe even visiting, but I figured the more distance the better. Any friends I had would forget about me, and I would do my best to avoid making anything other than acquaintances here in Forks. Charlie was the real issue. I didn't want to hurt him, but I knew he wanted to spend time with me and soon he wouldn't be able to. And I think he's a little stronger than my mother, as far as I'm concerned. I don't think he'll take my death lightly, but I don't see it destroying him the same way it might destroy my mom.

That was the attitude I would be entering Forks High with- make as little of an impact as possible. I still wanted to get good grades, if only to make my parents proud, and in the off chance I were to survive long enough to get into a nice college (with a nice scholarship). But anything else was out of the question. Friends were a luxury I could not afford, and boys were out of the question as well. I wanted to inflict as little pain as possible when I die, but I also don't want to hurt myself, and that was sure to happen if I got close to anyone. A friend touching my hand at the lunch table could give me a vision of death and destruction in the middle of the cafeteria. Someone trying to kiss me would be worse. If I saw someone else's death when they touched me, it would take a toll. But what if I saw my own death, from another set of eyes? I don't know what my vision shows me, whether it's the next death in someone's life, or maybe the one that impacts them the most. Either way, it was something I didn't care to see. I couldn't be around people after I saw them in my visions. It took everything in me to keep from comforting them, but how could I say "I'm sorry, your grandmother is going to pass away in the next few years", or "The husband that you haven't met yet is going to get cancer when you're both in your thirties". I thought it was best that my interference stay minimal.

I didn't bother unpacking my clothes or books that night. I searched through my suitcase until I found my toiletries bag, and I took out everything I would need in the morning. My hair brush and dry shampoo, mascara, and my various bottles of medication. The day had been too long for me already, so I decided to give in and go to bed, even though it was only eight-thirty. I dry swallowed the pills I needed to sleep, and burrowed into the covers. I was out cold by the time Charlie came to check on me.

I was in the woods outside Charlie's house. It was dark outside, and only a sliver of moon was visible in the sky. I didn't know why I was here, but I needed to be. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breathe, revelling in the feeling that everything was okay.

Suddenly, a twig snapped behind me and I saw those eyes, glowing red and then-

I woke up in a cold sweat. Same fucking dream every night. Sometimes the setting would change, but the eyes never did. I was just grateful I didn't scream myself awake anymore.

A quick look at the clock informed me that it was 4:45AM. Too early to get ready for my first day, but I knew there was no way I could fall asleep again.

I got up and rifled through my suitcase until I found my towel, grabbed my shower bag and made my way to the bathroom. I spent a long time under the too-hot water of the shower, trying to wash away the remains of my dream.

When I got back to my room I surveyed my appearance in the long mirror attached to my closet door. My long brown hair hung down in its natural waves around my face. I looked so washed out, no color at all, plus all the weight I lost in the hospital made my cheeks look hollow. I popped on some mascara, eyeliner and some tinted chapstick just so I didn't look like a total zombie. I used to be a makeup junkie, but I just didn't have the energy anymore. I pulled on a pair of worn jeans and the least wrinkled flannel from my suitcase, and layered on a couple of bracelets, just to make sure I didn't have any exposed skin on my arms. And with that, I was ready for my first day at Forks High. And with only an hour and a half to spare! I scrolled through my phone for a while, until it hit 8AM.

I made my way downstairs, and Charlie was already up, eating breakfast. He looked up at me and asked, "Aren't teenagers supposed to sleep in?"

"Not this one," I said with a smile. He was trying, and I appreciated it.

We made small talk as I tried to choke down some cereal and then switched to watching the local news. I closed my eyes for a moment, listening to the weatherman drone about the chance of rain today. He must get sick of predicting rain.

Charlie told me it was probably a good idea to leave early this morning, just to make sure that any paperwork I might have to deal with doesn't make me late for class. I grabbed my backpack, and he gave me directions to school, promising that it was a straight shot from the highway. I grabbed my bag and was halfway out the door before I heard him say, "Good luck Bells."

"Thanks Dad!" I called back. I was certainly going to need it.

My truck started just fine, suprising me a little. It ran great too, even if it was noisier than I would've liked. The radio worked, and I adjusted the knob, trying to find something to listen to while I drove. I flipped through the stations, from generic pop to gospel until I found an alternative station that sounded okay.

The high school was easy enough to find, straight off the highway like Charlie had said. It was strange though. Instead of the multi-level, gray building with chain link fences and a metal detector that had been my school in Phoenix, this was almost homey. It was laid out in a series of small brick buildings with little breezeways stretching out between them.

I drove around until I found the building labelled office and parked in what I could only assume was the student lot. I grabbed my backpack and made my way inside, ready to face my new school.

The office was strange, just like the outside of the school. It was decorated the inside of a grandmother's home, complete with pillows that had inspirational sayings embroidered on them and a handknit afghan on the little couch by the door. The woman at the desk had a shock of orange hair that was piled in a bun at the top of her head, and she was intensely fixated on a crossword. I imagined that her living room looked a lot like the office. As the door closed behind me, she glanced up through reading glasses.

"How can I help you, dear?"

"I'm Bella Swan, and I'm-"

She cut me off excitedly, "Oh, Isabella! Everyone's been expecting you. You know your father has been so happy these past few weeks, talking all about you," Oh God. I wondered how many people had heard the news of the new girl. I could only hope embarrassing school pictures hadn't been involved. So much for laying low.

"Here's a map of campus," she said, showing me the paths she had highlighted to help me find my classes. This seemed a lot more personal than my old school, were this process probably would have been entirely digital.

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"My pleasure sweetheart. And here's your schedule. Just have your teachers sign this sheet right here," She indicated to one of many pieces of paper in the folder she was holding, "And just bring it back here at the end of the day, alright?" She passed the folder over to me.

"Yes m'am." She smiled at me, waving as I left.

One of the first things I learned about Forks High was that it was tiny. I liked the anonymity of the school I attended last semester, in the city. It didn't matter that I was an anxious mess most of the time. The size meant no one noticed when I stopped showing up to school. Everyone blended in with the crowd, and that was how I liked it. But that was certainly not going to be the cast today. I was expecting a bit of a spectacle. Forks High School had a total of 357 students, and didn't often see newcomers. I couldn't blend into the crowd on my first day here, no matter how badly I wanted to. Hopefully anonymity would come with time. I was hoping I could prove myself so boring that I wasn't an object of attention or gossip. In my best case scenario, I would make a few acquaintances to study with. Maybe we would even follow each other on twitter. But nothing deeper than that.

My first class was Junior English with Mr. Masen. I stuck to my map and found my way there with time to spare before the first bell rung. The teacher was friendly, just like the secretary, giving me the reading list and a syllabus with a warm welcome. I was disappointed that Forks didn't have AP classes, but the reading list looked okay. The Great Gatsby, Their Eyes Were Watching God, and a few other classics. My favorite on the list was Catcher in the Rye. I wasn't a big fan of Holden (rich white boys always find something to complain about) but I was infatuated with Salinger's writing style. Franny and Zooey was easily in my top ten books list. I had already covered the material they were discussing today in AP English last year, so I zoned out, grateful for the calm period.

After the bell rang a guy with longish black hair and almond shaped eyes came up to me.

"You must be Isabella." Wow, news does travel fast here.

"Just Bella is fine," I corrected. Shit, was that rude? I didn't want to be an ass on my first day. Thankfully, the boy took it in stride. "Oh, okay got it. Bella."

"I'm Eric by the way," He said, holding out a hand. Did people actually shake hands here? I picked up my books instead, hoping he wouldn't take offense.

"How you liking the rain?" Eric asked, as we left the English room. It was lightly drizzling outside, the cold grey morning lit up only by the slightest trace of sunlight.

"Getting used to it. I'm from the desert, after all."

"It'll only get worse." He said, surveying the sky.

"Don't remind me." I said, adding a groan for effect.

He smiled at me, "Where are you headed?"

I consulted my schedule. "Government with Miller."

"Me too!" He said, excitedly. "I'll walk you."

He was pretty chatty, talking to me through the walk and only stopping when I had to find an empty seat. I was grateful he was so nice, but I had to admit I was a little glad to be sitting on the other side of the room.

My next two classes passed quickly. The girl I was sitting next to in Trig had introduced herself to me, and after class asked me if I wanted to eat lunch with her and her friends. I gratefully accepted, not wanting to sit alone on my first day. I didn't want to be antisocial, just minimally social.

Her name was Jessica. She pulled on a pink raincoat and forced the hood over her unruly curls before we stepped outside. As we walked to the cafeteria I learned that she was on the student council and they were having a financial crisis over the upcoming school dance.

"I mean, what are we supposed to do with $200? Buy two balloons and some soda?"

I said something sympathetic and she kept on, "I mean, really. But I have to think of something. This has to be phenomenal or I'll never get elected class president next year." By then we had arrived at the cafeteria, and Jessica got me up to speed on the drama in the student council (apparently the treasurer was hooking up with the president and the budget was a wreck).

She brought me over to a table with a few people I recognized. Eric, from first period. A girl whose name I think was Angela who was in my second period and a few other semi-familiar faces. They all greeted me before starting into a heated debate about whether or not the math teacher was pregnant "But she drinks decaf now!" Jess practically yelled, and I happily blended into the background for a while.

"So, Bella, where are you from?" A blonde boy who had introduced himself as Mike asked me. They had reached a conclusion about the math teacher, I guess.

"Phoenix," I said, quickly adding, "In Arizona."

"But you're so-"

"Tan?" I suggested with a smile. My mother's favorite joke was that I was half-albino.

Just then the cafeteria doors burst open and a group of people walked in who looked more like they belonged on the set of some CW drama than this tiny high school. The first two walked side by side, a tall blonde who could have put most women in Hollywood to shame and a dark-haired man who was built like a linebacker. Next came a petite brunette with a blonde man, and they were holding hands. Behind them walked another man. He was tall and well-built, but he wasn't bulky. His coppery hair was mussed by the rain, but it did nothing to deter from his beauty. Every last one of them was drop dead gorgeous, the two girls and three boys.

"Who are they?" I couldn't help but ask.

-e-

Today, the school was abuzz with gossip. A new girl had arrived, the police chief's daughter, no less, and everyone had taken notice. She was featured in just about every mind I encountered, and emotions were mixed. Most of the people she had come into contact with had thought she was nice. A few people seemed to think she was more than nice, as demonstrated by some rather unappealing sexual fantasies flashing through Mike Newton's head. Poor girl.

She seemed nervous, in the interactions I had seen played out in other people's eyes. I wasn't watching for her in true curiosity. It was just my job, as the only mind-reader in my family to scout out new people, to find danger before it found us. Not that this little girl seemed like she would pose a threat to anyone. But I continued watching, figuring I ought to finish out the day to make sure. And then I saw her in the cafeteria, through my own eyes and not other people's heads. Words like "pretty" and "hot" had been floating around but they weren't enough. Human eyes might not be able to discern the extent of her perfection, but I certainly could. Her dark brown hair fell in waves mid-way down her back, and contrasted with her fair skin, almost pale enough to belong to one of my kind. She had a delicate silver hoop through her left nostril and a deep green flannel on, unbuttoned just far enough. Her eyes were large and ringed with kohl. They were the same dark blue-grey as a storming sea. Goddamn, I gotta stop reading 19th century poetry before school. I tried to tune back into my brother Emmett's story, but it was a lost cause. I could only keep looking at her, anxious to memorize her face. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen- vampires included. But it wasn't a simple appreciation of beauty brewing in me, the kind of feeling I would get at an art museum. I suddenly realised that I wanted her. Wanted her like I hadn't wanted anyone in almost a hundred years. Who was this girl? I kept watching.

She seemed to be getting along with everyone at her table- their thoughts were all centered on her. Well, centered on the new girl anyway. I didn't think they had a very good idea of who she was, but then, neither did I. I reached out with my gift, hoping to settle this little crush I was developing by listening to her thoughts, but I didn't hear her mind. I figured it was just quieter than others- that happened time to time. Mental voices were just like people- extroverts practically screamed their thoughts at me, while quiet people were more like a whisper that had to be closely listened to. I looked at her, trying to focus in on her voice.

But it wasn't there. I listened to the people around her- Jessica, Eric and even shy Angela's thoughts were open to me. But not hers.

I focused harder, almost glaring at the girl. Nothing happened.

I was only broken out of my haze when I heard the familiar voice of Jessica Stanley, resident yearbook president and notorious school gossip, "Edward Cullen is staring at you!"

The girl looked away, a pink tinge rising to her cheeks. Jessica leaned in and continued to gush about my family- the official story, anyway. Since I couldn't hear her thoughts, I listened to the conversation, hoping to stumble across some clue as to why her mind was closed to me.

Jessica had already through the normal bullshit- Carlisle had adopted Alice, Emmett and I after our parent's passing (which wasn't necessarily untrue) and together he and Esme had taken in Rose and Jasper from an unsavory home life, which again, wasn't necessarily untrue. Still, who believed that a young couple- my parents were both in their early twenties when they were turned, could adopt five, almost-grown children? Our kind's natural persuasiveness came in handy sometimes.

The bell rang, startling me. I hadn't been startled for a long time.

I threw my untouched lunch away and walked out the side door to biology. My sister Alice followed me, and I realized I hadn't been paying attention to her- or any of my four siblings for that matter, at lunch. Alice was smiling like she had fishhooks on either side of her mouth.

"What?" I tried to reach into her mind, but she was furiously reciting an Emily Dickinson poem in a successful attempt to keep me from seeing her thoughts.

"Alice, what is it? What did you see?"

"You'll find out soon enough." And with that, she scattered off in the direction of her next class. Sometimes I hated having a psychic in the family.

I took a seat in my usual spot, by the window. The view of the forest came in useful when Mr. Banner lectured on something I had learned twenty-times over. I had been to medical school, and I spent my days being lectured about how the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and learning how to do punnett squares.

The rest of the class was filing in now. She walked in just as the bell rang. I still couldn't hear her. As she made her way across the classroom to the teacher's desk, she walked in front of the fan buzzing in the corner. Her hair was blown forward, and as she cleared it, I saw her up close for the first time. My world went red. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The focus of my whole existence was this girl. It was as if everything in the world had snapped into place and she was the center of it.

A minute or so passed and my head wouldn't clear. She walked in my direction to the only open seat in the classroom- right next to me.

I was staring. Fuck, what was this?

She was looking mildly concerned, but I just couldn't look away.

"Hey."

I was at a loss for words. Here I was, looking at my reason for existence. My almost a century spent on this planet had been nothing but waiting for this moment.

"I'm Bella Swan," she continued.

"I know." She looked somewhat taken aback. Fuck, Cullen, get a hold of yourself.

"I mean, I've heard people saying- new student… you know?" Was I speaking English at this point? "Edward!"

"Sorry?"

"My name. It's Edward."

"I know," She threw a coy smile my way and I thought I might die right there. This was it. I had finally met my mate.