Bella's POV
Edward and I became best friends on our junior year, we had a lot of things in common and we like the same kind of music and books. And we're next door neighbors and we also have all the same classes together including music. Edward love to play the piano and love playing the guitar, but the thing that only Alice and Rosie knows is that I write my own music. I haven't told Edward because he inspires most songs that I write, so I'm still a little shy about that. Is not that I don't trust him is just I don't feel comfortable with tell him yet…
I still remember the day when Edward and I met, I was talking to Alice actually when Edward came to us…
Flashback
I was putting away my books into my locker when this spiky black hair girl came towards me and introduces herself…
"Hi! I'm Alice, Alice Cullen" said Alice "You and I are going to be the great friends!"
"Nice to meet you; I'm Bella, Bella Swan" I said
"So how are you liking Forks so far?" ask Alice
"Well I hate the rain but hey it's life you have to learn to live with it" I said
When I heard a chuckle at my statement causing me to turn around, and when I got lost in piercing green eyes. Wow this boy is handsome! He is tall like 6'0, reddish hair sticky up everywhere… I'm speechless, I can't get the words out o my mouth I can't even remember my name this is just great he is going to think I'm a freak or something…
"Bella, this is my brother Edward" said Alice blesses her soul
"Nice to meet you Bella" said Edward
"Um… nice to meet you too, Edward" I said
"So Bella can I see your schedule to see how many classes we've together?" said Alice
"Oh… sure here" I said giving her my schedule
"Yours too Edward" said Alice
"Here" said Edward as he gave Alice his schedule
Alice take both schedules with her and she start looking at it
"Wow, I only have English with you guys. But you two have all classes together" said Alice "Including music"
"Really…? You're into music Edward?" I ask when I felt my cheeks burning from blushing
"Yes I do, I… I play the piano" said Edward
"That is so cool. I would love to hear you play" I said and cue the blushing people
"Sure if you let me hear play the guitar" said Edward with a smile
"Deal" I said as I put my hand in front of me so we can shake on it
"Deal" said Edward
As he took my hand, I felt a spark, when I get lost in his eyes is like we are the only ones on earth right now until somebody clears their throat, and when I look up I see Alice trying to hold her giggles.
"Sorry… um maybe we should get to class" I said
"Um… okay" said Edward
End of Flashback
The morning classes passed real quickly, Edward and I were putting our books from the morning classes into our lockers before heading to lunch, when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, when I open it; it was a text message from Jacob
'Hey baby… How are you?-J'
'I'm good, and you?-B'
'I'm okay but we need to talk- J'
That didn't sound good at all; I mean he disappears for two days and now he wants to talk to me seriously this is so fuck up. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes
'Sure-B'
'I'll see you after school, love you-J'
'Okay, Love you too! – B'
I continue heading towards the cafeteria, I felt my tears running down my cheek when I saw Edward waiting for me in front of the cafeteria doors. I wipe them off but it was too late he already saw them
"Bella are you okay?" ask Edward pulling me into a hug
"I'm… yeah I'm okay" I said
"If you're okay like you say, then why are you crying?" said Edward
"Is nothing really" I said "Let's get to lunch, I'm hungry"
"Okay" said Edward
I walk into the cafeteria; suddenly I didn't feel hungry anymore so I only took an apple and bottle of water, I pay for them and headed to the usual table that we sat on the cafeteria, Rosie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper where already there.
They were making kissing noises to each other, I mean blah! I do have a boyfriend well I still think I do but is gross. Rosie and Emmett are together, they became a couple in the 9th grade; Emmett is really funny, he's huge and bulky with big muscles but when you get to know him he is just a big teddy bear. He's also Alice and Edward's cousin; he started living with them when his parents died in a car crash, so Edward's parents Carlisle and Esme adopted him they are so cool. Now Jasper was Alice's boyfriend and Rosie's twin he was tall but not than tall wavy blond hair and blue eyes too, they were my best friends ever.
I sat down between Edward and Emmett, when I'm around them I feel safe and protected but something about Jacob's text got me thinking. What in the hell is he going to talk about? I mean we haven't talked since Friday he has been disappearing a lot lately I know he is two years older than me. But seriously what gives?
Jacob is Native American from La Push; he has black short hair and big muscles… Jacob and I met in La Push on my cousin Seth's birthday party; we had things in common like music and going out to the beach.
Flashback
I wasn't paying attention to the party I was on a corner making bracelets seriously I was the only girl at this party; I was so into the bracelet when he approaches me…
"Hi!... um, nice bracelet" he said
"Hi!… thanks I guess" I said blushing stupid blush
"I'm Jacob" said Jacob "Who are you?"
"I'm Bella" I said
"Are you a friend of Seth's?" said Jacob
"No, I'm his cousin" I said
"Oh, okay. Um… do you want to talk a walk with me down the beach?" ask Jacob with a smile on his face
"Sure, why not?" I said while blushing
"Cool" said Jacob offering his hand to me I took it and started walking towards the beach
Jacob and I started talking about the things we like, he told me that he wanted to be a mechanic and open his own garage and I told him that I wanted to be a musician or an artist but I still wasn't sure.
After our walk on the beach he asked me on a date, and I accepted. Seth wasn't very happy about that because he didn't want me to get hurt by Jake… but Jacob told Seth that he'll never hurt me like that, but that didn't relax Seth…
End of Flashback
After that we started dating; we've been together for almost a year. We've a few things in common but not that much; Jacob's two years older than me. At the time it didn't matter to Jake but for the last four months it started to matter to him… he wanted me to change the way I dress and act; I didn't ask why as long that Jacob was happy and for that I was happy I guess…
So for the last four months I became two persons in one body; then I realized that the reason why Jacob wanted me to change was to impress just because I've to be the envy of his friends, he wanted that the boys looked at me like a piece of meat and try to put their hands on me, and it was gross. Every time that we went out I had to wear miniskirts and heels and God how I hate those…
But when I was with my friends, I was just simple, creative and comfortable Bella, the way I like it. Alice and Rosie where the only ones that knew about it, they didn't stand Jacob they said that he was so immature for his age and sometimes I agree with them, Seth wasn't happy either… Seth told me that I was losing myself, in the things that Jacob was making me do… and to be honest I didn't feel like myself either…
I was brought back to reality when Edward started calling my name
"Bella, are you okay?" said Edward
"Uh… yes I'm okay" I said "What's up?"
"Nothing that we've to get back to class" said Edward
"Oh okay, let's go" I said
School ended for the day; and to my locker to put my books there and started heading towards my car. I started to think what did Jacob wanted to talk about, once again I was brought back to reality when Alice slap my arm
"Ow… Alice what the hell?" I said
"What? I've been saying your name for the past five minutes" said Alice "Are you okay, by the way?"
"Yes, I'm okay. What's up?" I said
"Oh nothing thinking about my Halloween party" said Alice "I still don't have a theme for it"
"Ali, babe you still have 3 months before Halloween" said Jasper "So you've enough time"
"But I want it to be perfect!" said Alice
"That's so typical Alice for you" said Emmett causing all to laugh
"Ali, tell me what party of yours doesn't turn perfect?" I said
"None, every single one turns to be perfect" said Alice
"I rest my case" I said laughing
"Enough of this party stuff how are things between you and Jacob?" said Rosie
"Things are good I think, I haven't talk to him since Friday thou" I said
"WHAT?" said Rosie and Alice at the same time
"What do you mean, that you don't know about him since Friday?" said Alice
"Well I haven't talk to him since Friday night" I said
"Have you texted him or call him or something?" said Rosie
"Yes, but he didn't answer" I said "But he send me a text in lunch that he wanted to talk to me"
I could feel the tears building up in my eyes
"Oh, Bella I don't think that is a bad thing" said Rosie
"Rosie's right Bella, you don't have to worry about anything" said Alice "But you know if you need us just call us okay?"
"I'll guys, thank you" I said as I hug them
I got to my car and left to my house, when I got there I saw Jacob's rabbit, with him sitting on the hood. I took a deep breath and got out my car, well here goes nothing
"Hi Jacob" I said "How are you?"
"Hey Bella" said Jacob as he kiss me softly on the lips "I'm good"
"That's great. So… um, what do you want to talk about?" I said
"Um… Bells I…" said Jacob "I'm going to college, I got accepted on UW"
"Oh my god! Really? That's awesome Jake!" I said as I hug him "I'm so proud of you!"
"Yeah that is why I've been disappearing lately" said Jacob
"Oh… but why you didn't tell me about it, Jake?" I said "What you don't trust me?"
"Bella, I trust you, but I didn't want to get your hopes ups if I failed" said Jacob
"It doesn't matter to me if you failed or not Jake, I'll support you anyway" I said
"Oh Bells, I'm sorry" said Jacob giving me a hug
"It's okay, Jake. You don't have to apologize" I said "So when do you start?"
"I start on Thursday so I'm leaving tonight so I can get settle and everything" said Jacob
"Oh okay that's okay Jake" I said in a sad tone
"I'm going to miss you Bells" said Jacob bring me up in to a hug "I'll call you as soon as I get there"
"Okay Jake, please be safe" I said
"Sure, sure" said Jacob "I love you, Bella"
"I love you too, Jake" I said
Jacob got into his car and left, I got into the house and run into my room and let my tears fall. I walk over to my window and saw Edward waving at me, making me signal to take the phone, when I heard Edward's ringtone Claire De Lune by Debussy…
I answer it as I sat in the window looking at him from it
"Hey Ed" I said
"Hi Bella" said Edward "Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm okay" I said holding my tears
"Are you sure?" said Edward
"Yeah I'm okay" I said "I was just talking to Jake that's all"
"Oh okay, is everything alright?" said Edward
"Yes, Ed. Um… Jacob got accepted to UW and he leaving tonight that is why he was disappearing lately" I said "I'm going to miss him so much, Ed'
"Bells, that's great. You should be proud of him, he's making his dream come true" said Edward "He's lucky to have you Bella to support him"
"Yes he's. But anyway... um I'm to get dinner started for Charlie; I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?" I said
"Okay Bella, call me if you need anything" said Edward "Bye Bella"
"Bye Edward" I said as I hang up the phone
As soon as I hang up with Edward, I went to the bathroom, took a quick shower and made dinner for Charlie and me. It was almost five a clock when Charlie got home, we ate dinner in a comfortable silence. We finish up and I grad the dishes and started cleaning them up when Charlie broke up the silence
"So Bella how was school?" ask Charlie
"It was good, same boring classes but good" I said
"Oh okay. Have you talked to Jacob lately?" said Charlie
"Well… um Jacob's going to UW tonight to start on is degree in Mechanics" I said
"Really? That's wonderful, Bells" said Charlie
"I know, dad. He finally is going to make his dreams come true" I said "Is... just that I'm going to miss him"
"I know Bells, but you could visit him or call him" said Charlie
"I know dad" I said "Anyway I'm going to the basement in case you need me"
"Okay, baby I'm just going to watch the game" said Charlie
That was my place beside my room, the basement is actually a mini recording/art studio Charlie made it for me when I move here.
I just love to draw and sing so he made the basement my special room, I painted the walls with different murals on them, in one wall had the night sky with a full moon and stars, another wall had the sun and a few clouds, and the two walls remain had the both of them combine, with the moon and the sun making and eclipse. And on the corner of the room I had a microphone and my guitar, so when I felt like it I recorded any of the songs that I wrote.
Today was one of those days that I wanted to let it all out, everything that happened with Jacob today.
I do love Jacob but I wasn't in love with him anymore… my love for him have been disappearing with time and I hate to admitted but I was falling in love with Edward but I couldn't tell him because we're best friends and didn't want to ruin our friendship... I've been hating myself for letting this go too far letting Jacob change who I am inside… but when I looked in the mirror I didn't see the real Bella, all I saw was the Bella that Jacob created… so I took my guitar and stood in front of the mic and started to sing
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, it's as if I play a part
Now I see, if I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Chorus:
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show?
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart,
And what I believe in
But somehow, I will show the world,
What's inside my heart?
And be loved for who I am
Chorus:
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm?
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly,
that burns with the need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal,
what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
when will my reflection show?
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show?
Who I am inside?
When I ended the song I had tears coming down on my cheeks, they weren't sad tears they were tears of relief and happiness. I was sick of pretending something that I wasn't, just so can somebody would like me… I was pretending to be someone else for Jacob, I could be Bella the one that I love to me and the one that my friends liked including Edward and now I didn't need to hide behind Jacob defiantly any of that…
Tomorrow I was going to be after almost four months, once again the cheerful, happy and clumsy Bella Swan…
Please Review & Thank You!
Let me know if I should continue with this story or not? The song is Reflection from Mulan, Christina Aguilera's version and I'm also looking for a beta...