A/N: The Bystander is YOUR character! You can pick whether or not they are a guy or a girl. Even their name if you'd like. Yeah, I know I should have informed you earlier but it just hit me so give the kid, (me), a break.

The Bystander (me) Almost Meets Willy Wonka

So, it seems that the phenomenon of Willy Wonka's Golden Tickets have slowly been taking over the world. A lot like global warming… well, with chocolate. Yum, melted chocolate. Anyway since the world was being lorded over by chocolate and I am the notorious Bystander I didn't have to do anything as a Wonka Chocolate Bar came flying towards my head.

"Hey! Watch it buddy!" I yelled as I bent over to pick up the chocolate bar that bounced off my head. Being me I should not have picked up the bar because weird things always seem to happen to me. But being a not very widely known chocolate lover I opened the bar and smiled as the thick heavy, lovely scent of chocolate wafted up to my nose.

Also, being a teenager my second name is Black Hole for Food. (The first name being Bystander.) So owning up to my name I inhaled the chocolate bar only to be stopped by a weird choking sensation. Coughing I looked in the wrapper to see a half eaten golden ticket. Oops.

Having already swallowed the other half of the ticket I decided what the heck. Might as well take credit for finding at least half.

I made my way to the Wonka Factory and knocked on the huge gates. "Hey! Wonka! Do you accept half eaten tickets?" I yelled and was abruptly stopped when a note with spindly writing shot towards me. This time I caught the D.F.O. (Dangerous Flying Object) before it smacked against my head.

Dear Ticket Eater,

We do not accept tickets that have been:

Eaten

Stepped on by elephants

Touched by a Hugalumph (Strange dirty creature in Brazil)

Used as a cup holder

On an ostrich

Laid by anything other than our geese

Copied by Mr. Jefferson (Notorious Wonka impersonator)

Lastly, your ticket must never be used for evil, please refrain from using the Force.

Sincerely, Mr. Wonka and all those associated with the Misuse of Golden Tickets .org

I held the note in disbelief. But there was still one more thing that the note hadn't mentioned. "Hey! You said tickets that have been eaten… I assume you mean all the way. What about half eaten? I can give you the half I didn't eat!" I yelled waving the ticket in the air. Seconds later another D.F.O. came towards me and nearly flew in my ear. I took it and unrolled it.

Dear Ticket Eater,

Sorry, but we do not accept half eaten tickets either. Thank you for giving me the idea though.

Sincerely, Mr. Wonka.

Willy Wonka

Well, there you have it I, again, completed my destiny of being the Bystander. Though, it's not all bad. I could sell the signature on E-bay.

For once in my Bystander history I walked away completely unscarred and somewhat not confused at all. Bye Wonka, Hello E-bay.