To Be Held

by Katyjunebug

Things have changed since Sasuke left her on that stone bench 10 years ago. Sakura has changed. It's been years since she's seen the man who broke her heart. And he just saved her life.

2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sakura's POV

This is one of those very rare days where I'm in an amazing mood. The air is fresh and barely chilly which makes the village cherish the weather. That's why when Sasuke comes into the kitchen I decide to invite him to eat some of my cookie batter.

Surprisingly he sits on the counter while he licks the egg beaters and watches as I wrap cookies for the festival. I'm freezing the batter until the day of the festival to be done ahead of time. I'm in my element. I can take a deep breath when I'm baking or cooking.

"I thought you didn't like sweet things" I state.

We can do this. Small talk. Okay. I know I had been harsh the past few weeks, but I had felt myself getting attached to Sasuke again in just a matter of days. I can't let that happen again.

"Well, your baking is the exception." He states off handedly. I blush against my will.

"So do you plan on going to the festival at all this weekend?" I ask.

"Eh..I was actually going to talk to you about that..I was wondering if we could go together. Like walk there, hang out there, sit together..that sort of thing." He says looking at the cookies and everywhere but me.

"Go to the festival..together? You and me?" I ask quietly. There's a nervous edge even I can hear in my voice.

"Yeah..I mean it'd be fun I guess. We could do those game things and watch the music players, and all that good stuff those festivals have" He says finally looking up at me.

"Uh yeah, Sasuke...that sounds... fun. Let's do it" I say. I see his lips twitch into a small smile.

"Okay. Should we head there at six? Does that sound like an appropriate time?" He asks.

"How about five thirty, it's a little early but I need to drop off all of my stuff at the buffet table. Does that sound okay? We don't have to-"

"That sounds great" He cuts me off.

It being Wednesday spurs some kind of longing in Naruto to basically plan to throw a party at my house on Thursday to get all of Rookie 9 together. I would never say no to Naruto as much as I detest the idea.

When I said yes to Naruto about the party I got a big smile then the bear hug. He said he was proud of me. That made me hate myself a little less. Making Naruto proud is one of the only good feelings left in my life.

*Thursday, day before dinner party, two days before the festival*

Naruto stops by at seven this morning to let me know that everyone but Kakashi could make it, he was on a mission scheduled to come back tonight but he said if he made it home in time that he'd try and make it via messenger pigeon.

So that brings me back to the grocery store, Sasuke in tow, pushing the cart.

Tossing in fresh garlic, tomatoes, the greens, noodles, cheese, whipping cream, butter, parmesan, and the homemade bread the old ladies make for the store every morning. It's absolutely delicious and would make the perfect cheesy garlic bread to go with the big pile of noodles with a butter and cheese sauce I'm making.

We make our way slowly through the store and last up is some milk because we're out at home.

We. We are out of something at home. That sentence strikes a nerve so hard that I have to stop and breathe for a second. Sasuke is making his way into my life again, as my family. That title was only for them and he is slowing gaining it. It doesn't make me angry necessarily. But that's what worries me the most.

"Sakura?"

"Hmm?" I ask half-heartedly still in my daze.

"You okay?" He asks sounding worried.

"Just trying to remember what else we need but I think we got everything, let's head out." I respond. I think I convince him but his eyebrows are still furrowed in concern.

I'm actually pretty surprised that he agreed to come with me when I asked now that he's allowed to go where he pleases inside the confines of the village, but it's kind of become a routine for us. A family-like fucking routine.

He keeps doing this weird thing as we walk down the aisles where when my red flannel's bottom flap shifts off kilter he tugs it down for me, like he doesn't even notice he's doing it. It's strange. It makes me a little anxious that he thinks my shirt is annoying which is the kind of thought that I hadn't really had in ten years which is pissing me off.

I don't think that I like the fact that he has that effect on me still. Worrying about what he thinks of me.

As we walk back up to the front, tossing in impulse buys I ask him about his training to get his mind off of my weird display.

"It's been ok, my stamina's back to normal but it's becoming more and more painful to use my Sharingan for some reason.." He says trailing off. Way more explanation than what I would expect from Sasuke. Maybe he's hoping as a medic-nin I'd know more about it.

"Well, that would most likely involve strain to your cornea and retina. I think it probably stresses your eye muscles to the max to use your Sharingan. You should probably try training without it for a couple weeks. It could turn into something much worse than just pain." I say with my doctor to patient voice.

"hn.." He replies deep in thought.

As we go back down the fresh fruits and veggie aisle I throw in about eight more tomatoes because I remember noticing that Sasuke eats almost two a day.

"You don't have to buy my groceries Sakura, I have more than enough money on my own" Sasuke says indifferently.

"I want to actually. It's nice having someone to buy groceries for again. I used to be the designated grocery shopper in my house." I explain to him.

"Why didn't your parents do it?" He asks confused.

"I kind of offered. I was the one to take care of Saru after school too. I just didn't want my parent's to have to worry too much. They were so busy at the hospital and were always so tired that I didn't want to add to their burdens so I decided to keep up things the house and help keep Saru out of trouble." I reply a little wistfully. I really miss her.

"It was their choice to have two kids, that shouldn't have been a child's responsibility." He says looking at me. He has such a nice face. Calming. Handsome. Bleh Sakura. Stop being weird.

"Well, anyway, when you'd get mad at me for being late sometimes that's where I was, making sure the neighbors were able to watch Saru while I was training with you guys." I inform him.

"Sorry I was such a brat." He replies. He looks sincere.

"Sorry I was so pushy" I reply with a laugh.

To my surprise he laughs too. It's a masculine laugh, deep, alluring. What the hell Sakura?

As we get up to the checkout the old lady that owns the place starts to go "Aweee" REALLY loud as we check out.

"What a cute young couple, you are so pretty dear, I see you come through here a lot! And what a handsome young man you are! Are you two going to the festival this weekend? You must talk to my sister next door! She just finished making one of a kind Kimonos for the festival and she has some that would be perfect for you dear!"

She goes as far as to drag me and Sasuke who grabs our 3 bags, over to the store next door, completely forgetting that she's leaving her cash box unattended. The people of Konoha respect the elderly so she probably trusts them.

Her twin, it seems sees me and her eyes light up running to the back grabbing a box and pushes me into a stall. She just starts grabbing my flannel and pulling down my leggings. "Excuse me!?" I protest hearing a laugh from Sasuke outside on the couch.

I huff waiting for her to just finish her torture. She pulls on the Kimono before I can even open my eyes to see it. She tells me to keep my eyes shut to add to the experience.

Once it's on me she pins my hair up in a clip, leaving my bangs down in their wavy glory. "Tada!" she says telling me to uncover my eyes. My breath hitches.

The fabric is a pale pink so close to white you would just call it white silk. Expertly sewn into the fabric are swirling vines of a pale dark green with cherry blossoms scaling down them. It's simple to my taste but still breathtaking, even on me. The skirt only goes about half way down to my knees which I'm thankful for because I hate having my legs constricted. That's why I always wear leggings.

Before I can protest she pushes me out right in front of Sasuke. I wait in silence with a bowed blushing face as the lady asks Sasuke what he thinks of his "girlfriend" which makes me blush even harder. Immobilized in embarrassment I just stand there.

When I look up I'm shocked. With pink cheeks himself he's handing the woman two hundred dollar bills! "Sasuke no, you don't have to pay for that!" I protest.

"Shutup Sakura" Comes his typical reply as the woman boxes up the kimono handing it to me.

On the way home I just walk next to him as he holds the groceries and I hold the box in complete and utter silence. I cannot for the life of me figure out what is going on his mind right now. Let alone ever.

Sasuke's POV:

I cannot for the fucking life of me figure out why Sakura can't just accept as much as she gives. I mean, she's probably spent almost a thousand dollars on groceries for us since I moved in. She deserves something nice done for her once in a while and when I saw that kimono on Sakura, I couldn't breathe.

I felt like someone dropped me on my back and I lost all of the air in my lungs. The kimono is simple and elegant, white silk with winding cherry blossom vines, like it's made for Sakura. It is perfection.

I had to see it on her again. That's all I can think of when handing the woman the money burning holes in my pocket.

Now she can wear it to the festival. It reminded me of what Naruto had said to me when he showed up on the doorstep a while back.

"We need to make the festival the best time Sakura's ever had. It's on the same day as her birthday. The Blooming Blossom Festival can be amazing and my plan is to let the whole town know that it's her birthday we'll sing happy birthday to her before the music starts back up at the end. We need to let her know that everyone is still her friend. That the world can stop sucking for once. She's trying so hard to be present with us, we owe it to her to help. Maybe she'll see us as a reason to stick around for once."

He was right. But I had already planned on trying to make her night special. She deserves it. I just want her to open up to me. I know I'm pushing it and I know to be careful with my words and actions with her. That's why tomorrow morning before the dinner party I'm going to get her an actual birthday present. She can consider the kimono as payback for the groceries.

Hopefully helping with the festival and the gift will show her I care for her...and maybe it can help me grow some balls to tell her how I feel. Even if those feelings aren't reciprocated. It needs to be said. It has only been a little over a month but I just need to be honest with her. That I loved her. All of those years. That now it's even stronger as much as she tries to pull away from everything.

As we're walking back to her house I watch as she tries to blow the wisps of her bangs out of her face. There's that word again...cute.

Once we get inside I drop the groceries onto the counter and head straight to take a shower. I start to feel guilty feeling this way towards Sakura. She deserves someone who can protect her.

I still couldn't defeat my brother. I don't know how I ever deluded myself into thinking I could do it on my own. Sakura did though.

I still feel something in my gut that that makes me think that Itachi died too easily. Sure Sakura is strong but it happened too quickly. I don't know really. It's all I can think about under the hot water.

I can never shake the feeling that I'm a disgrace to the Uchiha Name...to my teammates. A disappointment. They don't need me anymore, they're strong. I step out of the shower drying off and get dressed. I need to let off some steam.

I grab my katanas and kunais from the table by the front door. I jet out the door without answering the worried call from Sakura where she is putting groceries away in the kitchen.

I notice the dark skies and the smell of incoming rain as I run to the training course.

After about an hour of workouts that make my muscles feel like they're on fire, I hear the quick sound of a page turning.

I look to my left and see Sakura sitting cross legged on the ground against the three foot high stone wall. She's reading a medical book about poisons with her hair falling around her face. She realizes that I stopped working out and looks up at my quizzical face.

"I didn't mean to intrude. I was just worried that you would strain yourself, or your eyes. I know how you get sometimes when you're frustrated." She explains biting her lip waiting for me to respond.

"hn.." I reply grabbing my water and sitting against the wall next to her. Eventually my harsh breathing dies down. "Sasuke, your eyes are bleeding!" Sakura practically yells in surprise.

"They do that sometimes, they're fine" I reply with a sigh. That's a lie, they burned like hell.

"Really? Cause they look like they burn like a bitch." She responds practically reading my mind. She comes closer to examine them, sometimes pulling my eye lid in different directions.

Every time her hands touch my face I jump a little at the closeness. She starts to use her finger tips to massage my temples and damn did it feel good.

"Open your eyes please Sasuke" She asks. I hadn't even realized that I had closed them

When I open them I'm surprised at the level of concentration she's putting into examining my eyes. She's so goddamn pretty.

"What do you feel right now" She asks as she starts to pump chakra into the corners of my eyes

"You...-I mean your hands..my eyes just itch now, it's helping." I let her know.

She keeps looking at me with those gorgeous sad eyes. Eyes that are always waiting for the next terrible thing to happen to them. She keeps opening her mouth to say something then snaps it shut. Her lips look so soft.

All I want to do is kiss her. So fucking bad. She just sits there with her pretty eyes and her pretty everything and I keep smelling her pretty smell. I lift my hand up to her face before I can stop myself and graze my thumb across her pink cheek. She just watches me. She looks terrified.

I start to lean closer, I can't even help it.

I could never leave this woman. I love her so much it hurts. She is all I want. Not revenge, or money. I just want Sakura. I just wish it hadn't taken so long for me to realize it.

She starts to shake. I can feel her timid, shaky breath on my face. I press my forehead against hers, my lips millimeters away from hers.

"Sasuke..." She breathes out and it's all I can take. I press my lips against hers, trying as hard as I can to show her what she means to me in that kiss.

The taste of her mouth is indescribable. Sugar. Warm sugar. Probably because of all the sweets she eats.

I feel her slowly wrap her arms around my neck. I bring my hand up to the back of her neck, my other hand tangling itself up in her hair, bringing her mouth closer to mine.

I hear a tiny moan come from her mouth as I enter it with my tongue. I lift her up to rest on the wall with her legs wrapping around me. This kiss is something I've never felt before. I guess considering my first and only kiss before this was with Naruto. There was definitely no tongues involved for THAT. A certain area in my body, makes itself known. It causes another moan to escape Sakura's lips when she feels it between her spread legs.

I hear kids giggling not to far off which snaps me back to reality putting space between our mouths.

She just looks at me, eyes wide, lips swollen. It's intense, and hot. So. Fucking. Hot.

But I feel wrong for assuming that she feels the same way as me after everything I've done. I was a monster most of our lives.

"Sakura..I don't know what that was. It was wrong... I'm sorry." I say to her.

"Your sorry for kissing me, or because you wanted to kiss me?" She asks, hurt obvious in her eyes.

"No! what? I don't know what-" She cuts me off with a curt nod. She gets up and dusts herself off grabbing her book. She doesn't even look back as she walks away.

It starts to rain.

Sakura's POV:

What. The. FUCK. Was. THAT!?

Like what the fuck was that?

LIKE WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?

I could see it In his face when we broke apart. He regretted it.

Why wouldn't he?

I'm me.

Why did I kiss him back?

Because I wanted him to. For so long I've wanted him to kiss me. Because I'm a fucking idiot and I love him.

I loved it and he regretted it.

I might just have to sleep this off. Maybe it'll help me forget that this happened at all.

Sasuke's POV:

After last night, I just went straight to sleep after showering. Which is good because Sakura had the same idea in mind. When I walk into the kitchen this morning around two pm, which is late for me I see Sakura in the kitchen already making more desserts for the party tonight.

"Good morning, Sasuke!" She says, giving me her famous fake smile.

"Morning. I'm going to go into town, see Naruto for a bit." I inform her.

"Mhmm" She replies already back to her work.

First I go to see Naruto. He's had more experience with woman as much as I hate to say it. He lets me in on a very useful secret about Sakura's mind.

"You can't always just show her your feelings. She's pretty much the opposite of every normal girl. You have to explain what you mean to her otherwise she makes up a worst scenario in her head. Trust me on this one. Just watch out for the fake smile. It fooled me for years into making me think she was okay. She wasn't." Naruto tells me with a regretful shake of the head.

"Naruto...you might be saving my life here." I say incredulously.

"Not really. I just have a lot of experience with Sakura's mind. Hehe" He laughs.

"Did something...ah fuck I don't know. Where you guys ever together?" I ask, nervously treading the invisible line between us.

"I'll let Sakura tell you the details if she ever wants to. But you know me. I was smitten from the first time I laid eyes on that pink hair of hers. But my god dude, we went through some intense shit while you were gone. Part of it because of you. I get why you did it and for me it's in the past. I took care of her though, and when she lost her parents...her little sister, it's like she was just gone. I tried so hard to be enough for her. I wasn't. I don't really think she could ever love me like she does you. Even I got bitter about that. I may have rushed into things with Hinata at first...I guess to give Sakura a push to realize any feelings she might've had for me. And I'm not proud of using Hinata, but man when I tell you, I understand what Sakura felt with you now. Feels for you. Hinata is my soul mate. And Sakura, she may try to keep it under lock. But it's always been you, even when you didn't deserve it. But that's what makes her so special isn't it?" He says with a small smile.

"Yeah...it is." I say quietly carefully heeding Naruto's words.

"So are we going to go gift shopping for the birthday girl or not?" He asks.

I nod and we head to the stores.

It takes us two and a half hours. Naruto gets her a 40 piece Kunai set and some new test tubes he knew she needed as well as a kitchen knife set. I get her a leather bound notebook, in a green that's so close to her eye color it's like it was made with her in mind, with cherry blossoms all over it.

The last store we stop at because I want to get her a little something more special and I find it after looking at all the types of jewelry in the store. Blocky jewelry, showy jewelry, mismatched, none of it Sakura.

Then I see it, at the very back of the case on a pale whitish silver chain. It's a small, pale pink stone almost the exact color of Sakura's hair. Surrounding it are little green sparkling leaves. The stone looks like it's pressed into the leaves like a button pushed into a pillow. Simple, elegant, and it would match the kimono. It's Sakura. I ask Naruto and he looks at it nodding. "You struck gift gold!" I have it wrapped in a white shiny box with a pink bow.

Two hundred dollars and totally worth it. Sakura is worth it. I can relate to what Sakura meant about it being nice to have someone to buy groceries for. It made me feel great buying her nice things.

We head back to the house after lunch around two and we ask Sakura if she needs help with dinner. She takes the help and sets me on cutting the bread into slices, spreading butter on it, and sprinkling the cheese on it. She says she'll put the garlic and tomatoes on after it's done cooking.

Naruto has to keep stirring the noodles while she chops the greens and tomatoes and other crap I didn't even know existed into a pan for the sauce.

After a while everything is done and we bring out the extra table boards to elongate Sakura's dinner table to fit all of us and the Sensei's and others then set the table as well as the coffee table for the overflow of us.

I lend Naruto some of my nicer clothes so he doesn't have to go home to change. Sakura comes down in a simple red lacy dress, where the sleeves start at the end of her shoulders and show her collar bone but not her chest. The lace sleeves go down to her elbows. She's in black heels, and it's driving me crazy.

The only word I can think of for her is hot. It's a sexy dress without showing anything but legs and her shoulders.

She starts talking to Naruto in a low voice with a nervous expression on her face. He's murmuring something back but I can't hear from where I'm waiting against the wall.

"Tell her teme! The party's gonna be great and everyone's going to love seeing Sakura after so long! You too!" He exclaims turning toward me.

"He's right" Looking straight at her for the first time today.

She smiles tugging at her dress. Naruto goes to take a piss and I go over to sit down at the counter on the stools with her.

"You look beautiful Sakura. You'll do fine." I tell her. Her cheeks get red and cute comes to mind again. "Look Sakura we should probably ta-" I'm cut off by the doorbell. She gets up, smiling at me apologetically.

She smoothes out her dress and she opens the door to Ino in arm with Shikamaru, and Chouji trailing behind. They hug and you can tell Ino is dying to inquire why Sakura wanted to do this all of the sudden.

Soon enough everyone is waiting for food and laughing while sharing stories. When the food is served by a nervous Sakura, Naruto has to make her sit down in her spot next to me at the end of the table so she can relax.

At the other side of Naruto is Hinata, TenTen, Neji, Kiba with Akamaru who jumps into Sakura's arms right when he sees her when they come in. They tell her Shino is on a mission and can't make it. Then the Sensei's stop by. Kurenai and Asuma, arm and arm with their little girl. Gai with Rock Lee of course. Even Juugo and Sai come, who sit near her and I also.

Naruto even invited Tsunade and Jaraiya.

As they all eat and converse with us I can feel both myself and Sakura ease up. It really is a little bit like old times.

After a while there is a knock at the door and Naruto lets a tired Kakashi in, who eats and adds in to the festivities. Sakura is glowing and seeing her smile so frequently is a gift to everyone...I can tell.

Soon after dessert she quietly asks everyone for a favor. They agree right away without knowing what it is but wanting to keep Sakura happy like this.

It's simple though, knowing Sakura she would never ask for much. She just asks everyone to take a group picture with her.

Of course they agree and with bloated stomachs we all stand in a group with Sakura's remote controlled camera across from us.

We take silly ones and smiley ones. And then something happens. Naruto steals the remote and yells "GROUP HUG AROUND SAKURA!" They do. All squeezing together Naruto snaps shot after shot and Sakura cackles her cute giggle and as our cheeks press together in the hug, I feel wet stuff dripping down my cheek. I look down and Sakura is crying. Happy tears I think.

I give her a small kiss on her cheek. I look down at Sakura who is laughing and I realize that I want to marry her someday. She has me. I won't ever let her go.

After everyone heads out after hugging Sakura, she and I let Naruto go home and we stay up cleaning. I don't even let her tell me to go to sleep.

We get all the dishes washed and we sit and have some ice cream and brownies that she made earlier at the counter.

"That was an amazing night Sakura" I let her know. We throw our paper plates in the trash because we don't want to have to wash more dishes. We both lay back on the couch and immediately we're asleep.

Sakura's POV:

Last night was the best night of my life. When we finally wake up this morning, My head is against Sasuke's shoulder and I don't care at all. I just can't get over how much things have turned around lately.

As I let Sasuke stay asleep I finish up the desserts for the festival and sit at my computer printing out some of the pictures from last night.

I choose five specifically. One where we are all smiling with big dopey smiles, one where Sasuke kissed my cheek, the group hug around myself and Sasuke who couldn't even help but smile, and the one where we are mashed together by everybody and I'm laughing the hardest I have in years.

And the last one, the one that strikes me the most. We're still in the group hug, and Sasuke's looking down at me in all the madness and it actually looks like we could be a couple. I've never seen him look like that.

"That's a nice picture." I hear from behind me.

"I like it. Do you mind if I hang it up, or is it weird for you?" I ask turning around to look at him.

"Nah it's fine, when I finally get the district rebuilt, will you make me a copy?"

"Sure!" I let him know even though I'm surprised he asks.

"Are we for today at five thirty?" He asks me.

"Of course." I say.

"Okay well I'll go ahead and take a shower while you're busy." He says walking down the hallway.

After about ten minutes I hear the doorbell ring expecting Naruto. What I open the door to is a woman with a weird shade of red hair, and glasses. I know I know her from somewhere, especially when I see her sneer at me, the look is familiar.

Holy shit, god. I remember her now.

"I heard Sasuke lives here, where is he?" She demands blatantly.

"First off, you're a teammate of Sasuke's when he was a wanted criminal, you are in no position to make demands. I remember who you are but not your name, what is it?" I ask calmly though my insides feel like jelly.

Sasuke's POV

"I'm Karin, Sasuke's girlfriend," is the first thing I hear coming out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my waist.

"He tried to kill you. I think that's enough of a hint don't you think?" Sakura asks incredulously.

"Oh that's just our thing. He always comes back to me." She smiles, I can actually hear the delusional bliss in her eyes.

"Jesus. Whatever. Go ahead and take a seat on the couch, he's in the shower. You can wait till he's done can't you?" Sakura replies and I hear her in the kitchen.

I grab my boxers leaving my hair dripping, just so I can get rid of Karin as quick as I can. Who knows what Sakura's thinking right now?

"Karin." I say going to the living room where she's sitting. I stand there waiting for an explanation to her intrusion into my life once again.

"Sasuke Dear! I missed you so much!" She exclaims latching on to me like old times.

"Get. Off." I seethe. "What in the hell are you doing in Konoha, how did you even get past the guards?" I ask.

"Oh them? I told them I was a friend of yours and they dragged me to your Hokage. Such a hag. Anyway, I told her who I was and she said that you were with Sakura who I'm guessing is the rude pink haired girl in the kitchen. I'm surprised you would be anywhere near someone like that." She says with a voice of disgust.

"Don't speak like that of her. She has welcomed me into her home and you will respect her. Now get out of here. You abandoned Juugo. That was unforgivable. He was left with Kabuto of all people! I want you to leave. Now" I practically spit out.

"But the Hokage is letting me stay with Juugo since I told her I'm with you!" She tells me desperately.

"Then leave this house. I do not want to see you again"

"But Sasuke-Ku-" She's cut off by me dragging her out of the house and slamming the door in her face.

I walk into the kitchen to see Sakura checking her batches of chocolate chip cookies in the oven.

"Who was that" She inquires. She must've ignored our conversation.

"Just an old pest of a teammate."

"Oh... Well it's almost four so I'm going to go get ready for the festival, if you'd be great and take those cookies out in about three minutes?" She asks me.

"Of course" I reply. I take them out at the designated time and set them on the counter to cool and I go back to the bathroom to change into nicer clothes.

Sakura left a pink towel on the rack this morning so she must've already showered. That must be why she started getting ready so late.

I dress in a dark blue button up shirt. I have to roll the sleeves up to my elbows otherwise it would drive me crazy.

Matched with black pants even I have to admit that I looked pretty good. Hopefully Sakura thinks so too.

I pack up the cookies on the trays and stack them six tall so I can carry the brunt of it for Sakura. I grab the little necklace box and put it in my pocket right as Sakura walks straight through the kitchen in her Kimono and her hair in a low bun with her bangs pinned to the side. Her shoes are brown little strappy sandals that go well with the kimono.

She dashes back and forth through the kitchen gathering the rest of the stuff she needs while thanking me for packing up some of it already. I notice that she has a red tint to her cheeks and she won't look me in the eyes.

Finally I have to grab her arm and stop her for a second.

"Sakura..you're stunning." I tell her, earning a mumble of thanks and her whole face practically turning red. She just doesn't understand how beautiful she is.

"You look very handsome, too" She mumbles grabbing the stuff as I grab the large stack of cookies. We take off and are surprised to see lights up and down the streets already lighting up the almost dark skies.

I see Sakura smile and look up at me finally which I return to her in encouragement. This is the first time the whole village will see me with friends again. It's a little nerve racking to say the least.

When we get there we see that they have something that they call a Ferris Wheel there that spins you in a circle slowly to see the festival from above all lit up.

Sakura's face is one of awe. She is smiling in such excitement that it's contagious. This night is going to be amazing.

Sakura's POV:

This night is going to be so amazing. For once I'm letting myself smile freely and it looks like Sasuke is trying to do so as well. We set the cookies down at the buffet where I'm thanked by the festival board.

I look at Sasuke and then at the Ferris wheel nervously.

"You wanna go on there don't you?" He says looking down at me with a laugh. I just nod with a smile.

He grabs my hand and we head over to wait in line. Once we get on we sit side by side squished together and I can tell Sasuke is uncomfortable being so cramped.

"Is it ok..if I maybe put my arm around the back of here? I can barely move." He asks with a red tint to his cheeks. I just nod. I want Sasuke to have as much fun as he can too. This is a stressful night for him too with all the villagers here.

I feel his arm around my shoulders as we watch the city go lower as we go higher and higher till the top where it stops to let passengers on the bottom. The view of the village is breathtaking. It gives me the same kind of feeling I get watching to the town from my rooftop. I feel Sasuke shuffle around reaching into his pocket. As he's doing this he tells me, "I have something for you, just hold on I can't reach it in my pants." He says. That makes me laugh and him blush. "That's not what I meant ughhh there we go!" he says handing me a little white box with a pretty bow. "Sasuke why?" I say before I open it.

"Just open it" He says with a smile.

I do.

"Sasuke!" I exclaim. In it is the prettiest little cherry blossom stone with leaves, it's breathtaking.

He picked out something I would've liked for myself. How did he do that?

"Sasuke, no, no, I can't take this, it must've cost yo-" He cuts me off. "Shutup Sakura" with a smile.

I've figured out that's just something Sasuke says to keep me from arguing. It's not rude, just a demand to tear me out of my anxious thoughts. He does really know me.

I smile and do something out of character for myself. I kiss his cheek but so close to his mouth that I get a taste of his lips.

"Thank you so much Sasuke. It's too much." I tell him blushing again. I hate that he has that effect on me. But I'm starting to hate it a little less each day.

We shuffle around a little bit so he can fasten it around my neck and I feel the stone against my chest.

As we get down to the bottom and wait until the door opens, I grab Sasuke's hand. We start to look for the others at our reserved tables. On our way there we play some of the games and Sasuke actually wins a little stuffed puppy and give's it to me. We never let go of each other's hand in fear of losing each other in the crowd. At least I like to think that's why...

Whenever he can tell I'm getting flustered by all the people around and the people stopping us to chat he squeezes my hand in encouragement and I do the same for him. It feels good to actually have someone know how you feel. When we finally get to our table and let go of our hands, Ino grabs me and has me sit by the girls cluster while the boys at our cluster of tables are doing this game where you bounce something into a cup to be able to drink the alcohol or something.

I see Karin come over to across the table from Sasuke but I miss what she says as she walks away.

"So girl! Tell me the deets about this gorgeous kimono! And that necklace! It's darn near perfect for you! And what's up with you and Sasuke?" Ino says to me all in a rush. I have to hush her because Sasuke is only a few feet away talking to the guys.

All the girls are fishing for details which I can't give except that Sasuke gave me the kimono and necklace.

"Giiiirl he wants you!" TenTen says to me.

"I I It does sound like that Sakura." Hinata says. She's gotten much better at not stuttering so much. I had noticed that last night at the party too. I'm sure Naruto has been a factor in it.

The music has been playing for some time now and it's gradually starting to die down and I watch Tsunade walk up to the stage.

"Now we all know this is the festival we have every year to praise our luckiness in the safe blooming of Cherry Blossoms that share our ground in this village. We were especially blessed with more than last year. As you all know." She takes another sip of her wine as she continues her annual toast.

"But this year, we finally have the gift of having the birthday girl who shares the same birthday as the blooming of the Cherry Blossom trees in our midst this year, and before Naruto Uzumaki comes up to say a few words I would like to make an announcement." She stops for another sip.

I can't figure out what she is talking about through the whole thing. She's most likely hammered.

"Whether it be from death, resignation, or hopefully I reach the age where the Hokage Steps down to invite the next Hokage into the tower...I would like to announce who we have chosen for that honor when the time comes."

"The little brat has been harassing me about it throughout my whole career as Hokage.

"You wait you old hag! I'm gonna be the best Hokage this village has ever seen- " She points to the crowd with the microphone, "what's the last part everyone!?" She yells to the crowd.

"YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!" We all yell into a clapping frenzy.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI GET UP HERE!" She yells over us.

The astonished, slack jawed boy has to get pulled out of his chair by Sasuke before he lights up in a smile and runs up onto the stage.

Everyone in Rookie 9 has knowing smiles and nods on their faces.

I just can't stop smiling.

I knew he would fulfill his dream. We all did.

So did Sasuke. He squeezes my leg and I look up at him looking at the stage with pride for his best friend. We are together again. All of us.

Except...

Shutup Sakura.

Shutup shutup shutup. You can't think about them right now. This is Naruto's happy night. STOP. Don't you dare fuck this up! I have to say it in my head trying to push away the panickyfeeling in my chest that's making it hard to breathe.

Naruto stands up with Tsunade's arm around him. His eyes are red with tears as he starts talking through his ecstatic laughter.

"Oh damn. I was not expecting THIS at all. PHEW. I mean I obviously knew it would happen but damnnnn! Hahaha!" Everyone laughs; he sure is a crowd pleaser.

"Since I was a child, this village has been my home, whether you guys liked it or not. But once I proved myself to you, you welcomed me with open arms. There are so many memories in this village. Of Rookie 9. Iruka Sensei. My beloved woman Hinata. Then there's good ole team Kakashi. We're back and better than ever. I couldn't have made it this far in life without them." He zeroes in at Sasuke at our table.

"Sasuke. We've had a bond, no matter how much you used to refuse it. We're brothers. Till the end. Nothing you have done in the past matters NOW. Now is for us to move on. Together. As brothers, as best friends. It's time to move on in the right direction." His eyes come to rest on my face now with a smile I know is only reserved for me.

"And Sakura. How do I even begin to sum you up in a few words? You're the reason I am who I am today. You have been my best friend since the very beginning. Even when I was the pest with a crush on you in our school years. You're the one who pushed me to be better, you expected me to be someone, the Hokage. You were the only one who believed I could achieve that pipe dream from the beginning. YOU believed in me. You'll always have a special place in my heart, until the day I die. I love you Sakura, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" He yells to me.

What?

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SAKURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAYYYY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU! The whole village is singing me happy birthday. The last time someone sang me happy birthday was when they were alive. It stings, even though I know I should be happy. But it hurts, really fucking badly.

"Happy Birthday Sakura. Even though you forgot it, doesn't mean all your friends did!" Naruto yells coming to give me a bear hug. Everybody is cheering as the music picks up.

So Sasuke's gift. Ohhhh. I can't believe I forgot my birthday.

People are bringing gift boxes and setting them on my table and giving me a hug.

Did they do all of this for me?

Holy fuck.

When Naruto finally puts me down he whispers in my ear "Sasuke was the one who helped me arrange all of this." He smiles knowingly at me as I thank him with another hug . He heads over to Hinata to dance, twirling her around off the ground causing an unusual giggle to come from her. Seeing them together is bittersweet. I'm really happy for them, but it still hurts too. Deep down I can feel the pain that I've kept tucked away all these years.

I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate as I try to maneuver through the talkative crowd. As much as I appreciate everything they have done for me, I still feel the walls closing in.

I can't find Sasuke for the life of me through the swarms of people running around hugging me some more. I was hoping that talking to him would help me fight off the panic attack that had been fighting it's way through me the whole night.

I spot him facing Naruto and Shikamaru but I stop near him blocking by a couple people between us when I hear..

"She just kept coming over to the table, it was getting to be a bit much even for me. And you know I can handle a lot. What is up with you and her anyway?" Naruto is asking Sasuke. "With your past and everything...I didn't think that you'd ever go there man. It's pretty sad."

I didn't mean to eavesdrop but it had been something I was wondering too. About us. But hearing Naruto say that about me...it feels like a hundred hearts are breaking at once in my chest.

"Nothing. She's just a bother. Every time I turn around she's there. Every fucking time. Nothing has ever gone on with her and I can guarantee you that nothing will. I'd rather go jump off of hokage's cliff." Is Sasuke's scoffing reply.

Hearing this hits me harder than any of the multiple rejections I had received from Sasuke in the past. Because it's both of them. I knew that we weren't going to be together..but I thought that I at least stopped being a bother to him. I...guess not.

"Oh hey Saku-" Comes a fading sound from Shikamaru standing next to Naruto as well, but I'm already pushing my way through the crowd.

All the way home. Packing a bag. All my most important things. My new pictures. It's time to go. Progress will never be made here. How could I have ever expected it too? After everything I've done to Naruto? After years of being Sasuke's weakest teammate. The one always bringing him down.

It's time to go find Itachi, get rid of all the rumors and kill him once and for all and find some small village and waste away.

I don't deserve all of this stuff anyway. My parents and my little sister are dead and I'm at a party dancing? I may be reacting recklessly but the adrenaline in me is pulsing throughout my body.

What kind of monster am I that nobody wants me? As much as the need to cry makes its way to my throat I block it out. It's time to shut it off. Shut everything off. I should have never gotten so involved with these people. I knew better. I fucking knew better. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I change into my leggings, red tank top, my boots, and coat. I braid my hair the way I like it. Against my better judgment I put in the stuffed dog Sasuke won me in my bag and head toward the front gates of Konoha.

Sasuke's POV:

FUCK. I can't believe how unbelievably stupid and unlucky I am. Now she thinks I hate her.

Why did she have to come around when I said THAT of all things. She's going to think I was talking about her. I was talking about Karin dammit! I can't imagine how hurt she is right now. Especially after our make out fiasco. And to hear Naruto talk about Karin. God what she must be thinking.

I run home as fast as I can. Hopefully she's there. I sent Naruto to the training grounds and the hospital to look for her. I slam through the front door toward her bedroom banging on the door yelling her name with no response.

"Where could she have gone." I say to myself. The pictures from our party our gone. I spot her papers on her desk and a map with white pins everywhere. One red pin on the map said "Itachi?"

Shit. She's leaving. I know where she'll be. Hopefully she hasn't made it out yet.

I run as fast as I can toward the front gates of Konoha.

There she is. I slow my pace watching her movements. Her hand brushes the bench from that night.

She looks upset from what I can see and when I step closer, her eyes have a dead look to them. I finally understand what Naruto and Tsunade meant all these times. It's like she had a switch that she turned off.

"Sakura. Stop. Please. You don't have to do this!"

"No." She starts walking forward.

"Sakura. You can't do this. What you heard..it wasn't about you. You know you're none of those things YOU KNOW IT." I say louder at the end.

She keeps walking as I trail behind her past the front gates of Konoha to the tree line.

"Sakura, you have got to stop running when things are good. I know what you were feeling tonight. Guilty. You're surrounded by people who love you and you don't think you deserve it when your parents, your sister are dead. Trust me, I know the feeling well. Well it's not your fault you know! You didn't kill them. You didn't deserve anything that has happened to you. You didn't deserve Itachi to happen to you. Stop fucking blaming yourself and feeling guilty FOR BEING HAPPY. You would do this to Naruto!? To your friends? To me!?" I yell at her getting frustrated.

She stops short. With clenched fists she turns around.

"Don't act so surprised that a person could leave this. You did. Remember!? You left me on that damned bench like I was trash, when I was the ONLY ONE who loved you. I was nothing to you. I am nothing to you. Or Anyone. I bring pain wherever I go." Her teeth are chattering from the shaking in her body. Finally. I'm getting honesty.

"If you leave, I'll just follow you. I don't care if you want me to or not. You offered to join me on my search for justice and power. Well I'm TELLING you. If your dumbass leaves I'll just follow you and follow you. And follow you some more." I tell her getting closer with each word.

"Why!? Why can't you just leave me alone? I just want to go..." She whispers with a shaky voice.

"You know why. You know that you know it. I love you goddamnit! I don't want power anymore. I don't want to be alone. I. Want. You. I will never let you go. Never. I will follow your dumbass all over the world if I have to. You don't get to make the same mistakes I did." I say barely over a whisper grabbing her by the arms.

"Sakura, I love you. So fucking much. You can't leave me. Please don't. Please." I say pulling her to my chest.

"Sasuke..." She says and I look down at her face pulling away from my body. I start to feel it. A throbbing in my head and nausea as I see the gates start spinning.

"I can't love you..." I hear from the love of my life as I fall to the ground, everything fading away.