Santana P.O.V.

Numb, I don't feel anything. There's nothing to feel, my son is fighting for his life, and I feel nothing. He will be fine, he has to be fine. Rachel wouldn't even sit near me. She is sitting in the other waiting room with Reagan.

A car accident, Kyle and his friends were racing on the high way. That's out of character for him, but he has been changing. He has been doing anything to fit in. In high school, he always got made fun of for having two mothers. Rachel never understood that, because it was never a big deal for her. She grew up with two fathers, but it was a big deal for Kyle. He wanted a fresh slate in college and doing stupid stuff was part of his way of fitting in.

"Mrs. Lopez", the doctor says loudly.

My head pops up instantly, "Yes?"

"I'm Doctor Lewis, is your wife with you", Dr. Lewis questions.

I look around for Rachel, "She is in the other waiting room."

He nods, "Do you want to get her? I can follow."

I nod, and I make my way to the other room. My legs are moving on their own, I don't feel like I am the one moving them. Rachel sees me, and she gets up. Her eyes are red and puffy, but I don't try to comfort her.

I look back at the doctor, "You can tell us what is going on now."

Dr. Lewis clears his throat, "We did everything we could, but it just wasn't enough."

I couldn't hear him anymore. Everything went quite, except for the screams from Rachel. Reagan held her, and I stood still. The world stopped, and I thought of my beautiful son. The boy with so much life, the boy who kept Rachel and me together.

The car ride home was quite, no one said anything. The occasional sniffle came from Reagan's direction, Rachel sat in the back holding her hand. But I continued to stay quiet, I was still numb. Rachel touched my shoulder, but I felt myself shrug it off.

I walked to my office in the back of the house, and I held close to my heart a picture of Kyle. I still couldn't cry, but I wanted to. I wanted to feel something, but I couldn't. I heard the door open behind me, but I didn't turn. The hand on my shoulder soon turned me around and engulfed me in a hug. I could smell Rachel's perfume, and I felt the tears coming. They fell for so long, I never thought they'd stop.

"It'll be okay", Rachel whispered in my ear.

I pushed her away and anger boiled inside me, "It isn't okay, Rachel. We lost our son. I just talked to him."

Hurt was in her eyes, but I turned away. I sat at my desk and cried.

3 days later

Rachel P.O.V.

Entering the church felt wrong, it didn't feel right. I was waiting for my phone to ring, to pick it up and hear Kyle's voice. He would tell me how soccer practice was going, and I would nag at him to eat right and keep his grades up.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for joining us today", the preacher started to say.

I tune him out, I sit in the front row. Family and friends are piled into the chairs behind me, but I don't notice them. I am in my own mind, remembering my own memories about him.

Santana walks to the front of the room, "Hi, I am one of Kyle's moms. I don't know what to say, because I wasn't expecting for anything like this to happen. This boy had so much life in him, he could make you laugh without even trying. He was so smart and had so much going for him. I love him, and I'll always love him."

She continues, but I block her out, also. I haven't talked to her since the night Kyle passed away. We have slept in separate rooms and kept our distance. I hear Santana say my name, but I don't move. Reagan squeezes my hand, and I look at her.

"Mom, you can do this. Just speak from your heart, what you want him to hear", Reagan whispers to me.

I stand, "I'm not okay. I don't know when I will be, it hasn't sunk in that I won't hear his voice anymore."

I sit down before I start to cry, and I feel Reagan put her arm around my shoulder. Santana doesn't sit near me, she keeps her distance. I don't blame her.

I walk into my bedroom, and I lay on the bed. The tears don't come, and I don't want them to. The knock at my door is light, and I don't move to open it.

"Rachel, I need you", Santana says lightly.

I feel myself sitting up, but I keep my head down. Santana moves to sit on the bed next to me, and I allow her to. She puts her arms around me, and I melt into her embrace. She lifts my head up and kisses my lips lightly. I kiss her back, but I do it out of pain, not lust. The kiss doesn't last long, but we both are left staring into each other's eyes. I can read what she wants to say to me in her eyes, it was the conversation we were about to get into before the night we heard about Kyle.

The question left my mouth before I could stop it, "You cheated on me, didn't you?"

The nod wouldn't have been noticeable if I wasn't looking for it. I knew the answer to that question before I asked it, but I needed to know for sure. Santana doesn't try to explain herself, and I don't want her to.

I could feel myself stiffen by her touch, "Don't touch me."

Santana's hand moved fast, "I'm sorry."

Anger boiled, but I didn't let it spill. I wasn't going to let her win.

I look into her eyes, "Don't worry about it."

Santana doesn't move, but I can tell she is defeated. But in the end, I felt like I lost two people this week.

Chapter is over. Next chapter is going to be all about Santana and the mystery girl she cheated on Rachel with. Also, we are going to see life after Kyle. Expect to see more Reagan in the next chapter, also. Things have to get worse before they can get better.