Behind Walls of Ice- Chapter Two
My godfather told us to call him, "Kin." I didn't know what that meant, and for years I spelt it wrong using an "e" and not an "i". Lena finally explained to me the correct way of writing it. I felt so stupid. Because then I knew what it meant, and I didn't like it. I didn't like it the moment I stepped into his house. Kin wasn't married, he drank, and he was an obvious chain smoker. Everything in the house had been tainted with the smell, and it made me sick.
I was ten when Dale developed Schizophrenia. We shared a room together and had since day one. He had horrible nightmares I was afraid of. I would cling to my blanket and pray to God he'd stop screaming. What would stop Dale in the end was Kin coming in and slapping him. He said he couldn't sleep with all that racket going on. Dale, I knew from then on, would stay awake the rest of the night so he wouldn't get in trouble. He was so young, and he didn't know why these strange things were coming into his vision. They just did. I looked it up online and found it was very rare to have Schizophrenia before the age of pre-adulthood. On the other hand, many cases had been found with kids as early as six dealing with it. I could imagine that was hard on them. That hour on the computer sparked my passion for learning and reading. Every month I made it my duty to read more than just comics and picture books. I packed them away in one of the old moving boxes and stowed them in the attic. I said goodbye to Sloth Bear, Sam I Am, and the Ninja Turtles. I found a world with real people and animals that made more sense that a thing that wants to eat green eggs and talking mutant turtles. More realistic that a sloth bear or a cat it a big red and white striped hat that reeked havoc everywhere it went.
When summer let out I had read all my textbook cover to credits and made great friends with the librarian. I headed there before home to return Tom Sawyer and to get another book. She recommended Adventures of Huck Finn, but I declined. I had had enough of Mark Twain for at least a few months. I picked another classic instead and checked it out. I got on my bike, book in backpack, and headed for home. Dale would be there, his middle school class let out a little earlier than my elementary did. When I pulled in the driveway I noticed Kin wasn't home. I thought that was strange, but just to be sure something wouldn't fly into my face at the front door, I went through the back. After putting my bike it the garage, I quietly opened the backdoor with my key. It led to the laundry room, which piloted to the kitchen, and an open doorway showed the way to the dining room. We rarely used it unless Kin was eating in the living room. That's where the dining room directed too. There was no commotion, so Kin was either passed out or not here. When I peeked around the corner I saw Dale rubbing a rag full of ice on his eye. I dropped my backpack and ran to him, sitting in front of the couch.
"What happened, Dale?" I begged.
"My report card, that's what," he spat, pulling the rag closer. On his arm a bruise from yesterday had formed. He wore blue jeans to cover up the gauge wrapped around his ankle from Kin tripping him. I was so tempted to immediately dive towards and rub my bruise, but I didn't. Dale looked at me and smiled. "What's your look like?" I didn't want to be prideful and shout "All A's!" so I tried to pass it off as nothing spectacular.
"Let me see," he pleaded. I rolled my eyes and unzipped the book bag.
"Where's Kin and Lena?" I questioned. I had my report card out of the front pocket and handing it to him when he answered.
"Lena's with the neighbor kids down the road and it's payday for Kin," he mumbled. "It's nothing spectacular? This report card is fantastic! That's great, Jack!"
"Yeah, I would imagine my lowest being 98 is pretty good," I confirmed. I sat on the couch with him. "Dale? What's middle school like?"
"Not as easy as elementary school, but for you? I don't think you'll have a problem. But if any one starts bullying you, come let me know. I'll punch them right in the face!" The doorbell rang and my best friend, Brenna, was at the door. I looked at Dale for permission. "Go ahead Tiger,"
"Tiger?" I puzzled. "What does that mean?" I opened the door.
"Do you want to play?" I shut the door behind me waving to Dale. We went up the hill to the playground on the other side. No one usually went there. The grass had grown so tall my knees got itchy and most of the equipment was rusty. Everything but the swings. "Push me, Jack! Push me!" I took hold of the seat and gave her a good shove. "Wee!" We were both smiling and laughing. The memory is clear in my mind, mainly because I never want to forget every second we spent together.
"So how was your report card?" I asked. She closed her eyes and almost let go of the swing. She told me last month one day she wished she could fly. I always thought that was an accident waiting to happen, but so far she was okay.
"Great for my standards. What about you?"
"Amazing," I bragged.
"Don't get to cocky or middle school will be awful!" I let her down and sat with my turn to be pushed. Her face got a little sad as she asked me her next question. "How's your dad?"
"He's not my dad. More like my fake dad. It's hard to explain, but things aren't so good. Remember when Dale and I told you on payday he goes and buys bad things?" She nodded. "Today one of those days," I finished. She hugged me and patted my cheek.
"Well, we can hang out more over the summer. Hey, did you know that Superman movie is coming to our theatre?"
"No kidding, to our little town? I don't believe it,"
"You better, 'cause the two of us will see it next week!" She kissed me on the mouth. I never knew why she did that all the time or what it meant. All I knew was it made my stomach tighten. "Now, I get to push you,"
About seven o'clock I walked her home. She kissed me again on the front porch and I stuffed my hands in my shorts and walked to two houses down to mine. I looked in the front door window to get an idea of what was coming. Kin was smoking in the kitchen while Lena made dinner. Dale was no where around. I opened the door quietly and tried to get to the stairs before he noticed me. It was in vain.
"Hey, John!" He never could get my name right and I didn't bother telling him what it really was. "Get in here," Sometimes I knew that he did it on purpose, and it made me so mad. Kin would try to get under my skin, and it worked too.
"Yes sir?" I muffled. He blew his cigarette smoke in my face and let me cough it back. Lena shut the fridge and had a glass of juice in her hand.
"Speak up when someone talks to you boy!" he shouted. Dale I could hear was creaking down the stairs incase of trouble.
"Yes-Yes sir," I chocked.
"How was your report card?" I went and fetched the paper from the living room and jogged back to the kitchen. He blew smoke again in my face. I rubbed the bruise from yesterday while he grinned. He dropped the paper and clapped. "You like being the teacher's pet? Or the smart little dork people poke fun of?" I lowered my head in shame. "Let me guess, you went to the library again to see that old hag? She's always been a cougar, but a ten year old? Tisk, tisk…" Lena dropped her cup in the sink and was about out of harm's way when he called her back. "And little Lena also had straight A's. I'm guessin' school be more important than social life? Man, you both will be losers,"
"I'm not a loser," I mumbled. He glared at me, and I could hear Dale face palming himself at my comment.
"Who told you that? Brenna? She's a wreck anyways. Have you seen her mama? If you thought yours was a slut, have many men have gone in and out of that house…man…that's some shit I can get into with what she charges…" I puckered my face up. I didn't want to know…I didn't want to know…somehow, I pictured it wasn't good. He took another puff and let it out. Suddenly I realized that smoke was from a joint. This I knew because he liked those drugs often. I always associated drugs with what we get when we were sick. I never dared took Kin offered, or his friend in chains. "You're a ball less brat who hangs out with a future whore. You've got a good life comin'," I didn't look him in the eyes. He grabbed my cheeks and jerked me so I was in his face. I could see steam coming out of his ears and the way his pupils were doing this weird dance. "I'm talking to you, Jake! You get your act together and you listen to me," I started crying and Dale was at the door waiting to help me fight. But I wouldn't fight. It would take years for me to fight back, to speak out, or disobey him. And did I disobey. "Are you a crybaby, do you cry your way out of things?! You say yes sir and you leave me! Nothin' for dinner but this!" He took his beer bottle and dumped in on my head. It ran down my hair, my back and soaked into my clothes. I was in so much shock I did whimper yes sir and ran upstairs.
Dale followed behind me. He found me about to climb out the window of our bedroom and onto the roof. He stopped me and cocked his head to the side.
"Let's get you a shower," I agreed and was led to the bathroom. I stripped down while Dale sat on the toilet. He told me he had to explain some things to me, things I needed to know before I got into middle school.
"Dale, what's a whore?" He choked and stumbled at first, but he explained it's when a woman sleeps with a lot of men. For a guy though, if he sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a playboy,"
"What does sleep with mean?" I headed for the shampoo. My hair would be fine with the beer on it, but I just wanted to make sure. I didn't say a word as Dale explained the complicated world of sex and marriage. I didn't know marriage was supposed to be forever, even in the afterlife. I always thought it meant until you get tired of one another, then you can quit.
I reached for a towel, dried off, and came out with the towel wrapped around my waist. We headed to our bedroom and both put on pajama's. I know would know what every insult to Brenna and her mother would mean. I would now know what to be ball-less and might as well go sleep with her would mean. My innocence died that day. I would die again years later, but that time it was willingly. I would willingly go and disobey Kin just for the sake of being a rebel.
"Jack, why don't you read your library book, I'm going to go to bed,"
"It's only 8:30, you tired," He climbed in the top bunk and looked down at me. He gave a big sign and I see already dark circles forming. I would remember his response for the rest of my life.
"You'll find, people are tired when life just goes. Whether it was for sleeping to much, not enough sleep, or a heavy day of watching tv or school. Everyone is tired. Tired of wars, of hate, and punishment…But no one will be more tired than I will be till I die…."