"Hana!" someone calls out to me.
I turn my head and see a group of Amity girls, dressed in yellow and red, standing in a circle, playing a hand game. One girl, I think her name is Meredith, but I can't remember, motions with her hand for me to join. I smile and walk over to join them. I sit next to the Meredith and a tall, skinny girl with long brown hair. Someone starts, and swings their hand across their body, tapping the hand of the girl to the left of her, and she repeats the action. The motion moves in a circle, and they sing.
"Dauntless, Dauntless, who is Dauntless? Who is brave and fearless? Who protects us all? They tear themselves apart!" The girl who is tapped last has to sit in the center, she laughs and sings.
I join in the familiar song, "Candor, Candor, who is Candor? Who never lies and keeps order? Who always tells the truth? The truth can hurt sometimes!" Meredith is last this time, and switches places with the girl in the center. She smiles. The song goes on.
"Abnegation, Abnegation, who is abnegation? Who is selfless and simple? Who governs us all? They never think of themselves, but that's not always good!"
Our laughter and voices get higher, as the game goes on, and a new girl sits in the middle, "Erudite, Erudite, who is Erudite? Who is smart and all knowing? Who is genius? Knowledge can be a costly thing!" I giggle as I am the last girl and stand in the center. I bunch my yellow skirt in my fists and sing.
"Amity, Amity, who is Amity? Who is kind and calm? Who always keeps the peace? Who farms the land so we may eat? We are the best of them all!" The song breaks off into laughter and we stand, for the train has pulled in. Everyone lines up to board. I listen to the idle chatter of the girls around me, but I'm not focused. The choosing ceremony looms in from of us like a skyscraper. I know where I belong. What I will choose.
But I shake my head and board the train, as if to leave my nerves behind
I'm walking down the road. The asphalt is rough and ruined, and I have to watch carefully to avoid cracks. It is one of the few roads in Amity. My home is on it. I see someone walking in the other direction. I grin. It's Kilan, my friend.
"Kilan!" I call to him, with a wide smile, "Did your test go well?"
He spots me and appears panicked, then calm, making me wonder if I had even seen the fear in his eyes, "Hana," he greets me, "It went... Well," he stutters over his words.
"I'm no Candor, but I can tell your lying," I insist, "Is everything okay?"
He shakes his head twice, his blond curls bouncing, the fear has returned to his face. His brown eyes lock in my, "Can I trust you?" His voice is so serious.
"Of course!" I match my tone of voice to his, "With anything!"
"My results were inconclusive," his breathing picks up, "I'm divergent, Hana, and they will fine me and kill me!" He's terrified, I see it in his eyes, "Help me please!"
"Divergent?" The word is foreign to me, "Everything is fine, Kilan, I promise. I won't tell, you won't tell, and everything will be alright. Okay?"
He sighes, "Yes, yes. You're right," but he's still worried, "I have to go, see you!" He flashes a quick smile and leaves me, breaking into a run. I watch him go, before continuing to my home. I walk up the cracked steps to the small wooden place I call home.
"Momma?" I open the door, "Are you home yet?"
I heard a faint bang and my mother stumbles into the hall, her brown hair a mess. We have the same hazel eyes. She is wearing red pants that are too small and a too big red shirt. She is, as usual, a mess.
"Hana!" She smiled and I grin back, "Oh welcome home! Your test went well, I hope?" She talks fast, and is a whirlwind around our home, busying herself.
"Yes, very well," I reply, and start to unpack my bag. The fraying yellow and blue thing is old and I set it under a bench by the door. I take in the room. A small kitchen, a couch and a table with three chairs. The walls and a peeling, pale yellow paint, and the floor a dark brown glossy wood. It is the only home I know. I walk down the hall to go into my bedroom, when my mother grabs my arm.
"Hana, baby, you'll stay with me won't you?" She sounds tired, and sad, "You won't leave Amity? My good girl... She wouldn't..." She babbling a bit and I pull my arm loose.
"Yeah, mom," I forced a pleasant look onto my face, "Yes."
She smiles again and continues to race around the room, cleaning. I sigh and slid into my bedroom. I wouldn't leave. Would I? I never imagined my older brother was going to leave. But he did. Joined Dauntless and left me with our crazy mother. She's been this way, since our father died. He was sick and I was only eight. I can barely picture his face. Bur loosing her cracked my mother and when my brother left, she shattered.
I lean against the door.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow.