why no reviews ;;
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"Kairi?!" Sora asked in shock, and were he to have any eyebrows at the moment, one of them would be raised. "Why are you in The Luvboat?!" he asked suspiciously, pointing one of the black knobs on his sides towards her accusingly.
"Because!" the small pink cell phone whined, "because I wanted to make sure that I could trust you and jfjkfjfkggklklggkhkd.fg..."
Everything Kairi was saying at the moment became incoherent babbling to the toaster as he concentrated staring at Kairi's new form. Kairi was a flip-phone; the flippy part of the phone was used as her mouth, and around the edges was lipstick and a set of teeth to emphasize this. She was pretty ... fucking scary.
"Are you listening to me, Sora?!"
She then started cursing in Machine Code; better known to the general public as "spanish". Sora smacked his metal forehead with one of his knobs. He hated when Kairi did this. And now it was even worse as an ugly cell phone.
Just as Sora was about to smack her face with a smoking hot slice of loaf (so that Riku could do the same to him if you catch my drift ;D), Riku interrupted them. "Just were are we?" he said and a cinematic started, showing the area around the crash site. Outside the wreck of the sexy Luvboat was a long set of green fields, trees and a blue sky lit up by the sun. It all looked like a 1950's public service video and close to them was a two-story cottage and then text appeared. "Anthem of Appliences". It was the kawaii name of this world.
"Let's have sex!" Riku said just as the cinematic ended, but then the door to the cottage opened. Over there was a very kawaii blanket, a vacuum cleaner, a lamp and a clock radio dating back to the Second World War, which Sora didn't know of lol.
"Que Pinga?!!? Ustedes comen taaanta mierda cojone Sora maricon!!!!!!!" Kairi shouted, which translated from Machine Code roughly meant "What the fucking fuck are those unkawaii things that're totally unkawaii?!!!!? Get away from my Sora!!!!!!!!!! Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll not tolerate any further theft of my love as it makes me very offended!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh God in heaven, smite these enemies of my one true HETERO!pairing!!!!!!!!!!!!11!1eleventeen"
The blanket edged back. "OMG SCARY THINGS! D:" he shouted kawaii-ily, crying as he clinged onto the lamp, which reluctantly accepted his secret (;DDDD) boyfriend's clinginess. The radio jumped in front of them, "Jerry sighted at 11 o'clock! Man the trenches! Call the P-51 Mustangs! This shall be their Waterloo!" he shouted at our heroes while waving his antennae around like a sword, which made Riku (and the vacuum) very horny.
Sora however wasn't horny for them (at least… not yet…) and said "omg we're your friends! Don't listen to her! She's stupid! You're very kawaii! Unlike her! Just tell us what's going on!" he shouted.
The lamp hopped his way over to the trio, looking at them rather suspiciously. "Are you the leader or something, pal?" the lamp asked, prodding Sora's front with the end of his plug.
Sora scoffed. Of COURSE he was the leader! Riku was too horny all the time to be a natural leader and Kairi was just a moron lol. Afterall, Sora was the one who became a toaster, and it was obvious that all toasters carried within them a leader-ish quality. "Who did you think was the lea--"
Sora's voice became muffed as Riku wrapped his wire around his shiny body, tugging Sora close to his side. "HEY!" the NES shouted, glaring at the lamp possessively. "Only I'm allowed to prod Sora's body with potentially phallic objects!"
"And me!" Kairi chimed in with a giggle.
"...no, not you, Kairi." Sora and Riku said simutaneously with a face that could only be described as:
The lamp clonked the NES with his cord, which made Riku upset and horny the same way Sora felt a mixture of pleasurably painful passion whenever Riku whipped his bare ass with his razoric manrod of mastodontic proportions. But before anything violent (and sexy) could happen, the vacuum charged in between them like a Josef Stalin in a wheelchair. "Moan, moan, moan! It's all you do you lousy runts!" he said and slapped the two into submission with a succession of quick and sexy whips from his cord. "Just who do you people think you are?!" he then shouted angrily like you'd expect from a vacuum cleaner after you've taken sum durgz.
"I'm Sora! And this is my sexy boifriend Riku and my stupid stalker-friend Kairi!" Sora exclaimed, his mood going from aroused kawaii blushes as he talked about Riku to awkward disgust and dread as he mentioned Kairi. "A moon smexing a whale crashed into our Luvboat and… Now we're here…" he said, with a bit of in his face at the thought of the prospect of spending his life together with that stupid whore Kairi who was already going on his internal machinery (as toasters don't have nerves… Or do they? Or don't they? Or do they?) with her Machine Code which kept going on in the background, although he managed to ignore it… For now. --
Another pair of lively characters approached the scene, for they'd been riding on the vacuum on its way over here. (Get it? Riding? ;DDD) It was a small, timid blanket, and GASP?! Another toaster?!
Sora made an "D:" face, suddenly not feeling special that he was the only toaster here. Afterall, he could feel the brave, leaderish qualities RADIATING from this unknown toaster guy. He could never one-up this guy! He slumped as well as a toaster could. "Stop being so rude!" the toaster demanded to the vacuum, swatting him with one of his knobs. "Or else you don't sleep in the bed tonight..."
The vacuum's mad eyes widened, and he hid behind the blanket. Nothing was worse than a night without the toaster's hot buns penetrated by his... oh.
"Did my friends here introduce themselves or were they just being bullies?" the toaster asked, motioning towards Sora, who looked utterly confused at the whole situation.
"U-uh, no," he mumbled, shaking his head (body?). "They just started interrogating us like criminals!"
Toaster glared at everyone else. They'd all be punished tonight, and they knew it. ;D Sighing, the toaster began to introduce his friends. "Well, I'm Toaster!" he said confidently, motioning towards himself. "Then we have Lampy, Radio, Kirby, and Bla--" Where did Blanky go? "BLAAAAAAAANKY?"
"I'm up here!" the scared little blanket cried as everyone looked up. "Stuck in a tree AGAIN?" Kirby sighed. "Moron!"
"WAHHHHHH!" the loli-shota blanket weeped.
"AWWWWWWW! HOW CUTE!!! -" Kairi squealed. "iQUE CHULA!"
A world away from the kitchen appliances trying to save the kawaii loli-shota blanket, our brave little Keyblade master's face went from a disillusioned D: to a bitterly tired -- as the cell phone unleashed yet another barrage of Machine Code upon his frail toaster body. It was time to end this menace once and for all. Decapitate and annihilate! Destroy with joy! No more would Kairi's Machine Code blight the airwaves! And as the sixth billionth "USTEDA POR BLANKY COHONES D: " left the flippy part that made out her mouth Sora shouted out a resounding "LOL KEYBLADE:D" from the top of his toastery compartments and the Keyblade, shiny and gloriously glorious as ever, appeared… On the ground. "OHSHIT I FORGOT LOL! TOASTERS DON'THAVE HANDS! NOW WHAT DO I DO?!"
Then from a bush a cash register jumped forth. "Stranger, Stranger! Now THAT'S a weapon!" he said, pointing at the Keyblade with what best could be described as its head. It was the kawaii Merchant around these lands, and he was veryvery kawaii desu o indeed. Dirty? Why sure, but it was the dirty and almost rusty nature of his metallic frame that made him so kawaii. This "I don't care lol" attitude of the cash register was something that the toaster found very kawaii… And very, VERY arousing. It was like an older, more experienced yet ruthlessly uncaring and brutal sex partner to have an affair with behind the back of his regular experienced yet ruthlessly uncaring and brual (well, on the BUTT at least ;D) boyfriend, Riku the NES. Sora had read in a manga home at Destiny Islands about people having relationships like that. But now he was far away from home and felt intrigued by the prospect having an affair with this hot and horny cash register.
"WHAT ARE YOU BUYIN'?" the cash register said, and the toaster fell back on the ground away from his wet dreams.
"Huhwhat? OHYEAH LOL. I can't hold my Keyblade lol !!!" he said, throwing in some kawaii tears to attract sympathy (or maybe sexually oriented abuse DDDD) from the kawaii Merchant.
The Merchant responded by opening the cash register and out of it came something any Keyblade master would recognise as a Toaster-Keyblade-wielding adapter for toasters that allowed toasters to carry keyblades into fiery battles (even cock fencing… though Sora and Riku had their NATURAL Keyblades for those confrontations DDDDDD).
Sora needed this holy Toaster-Keyblade-wielding (™) adapter.
"DO WANT:D" he said sexily and the cash register smiled at the brave little Keyblade master. "I see you have an eye for things!", he started, "Gun's not just 'bout shootin', it's 'bout reloadin'!" he said in a way Sora interpreted as very lustful. The label on the adapter read "RYAN INDUSTRIES (®)", which reminded Sora of the many "Saving Ryan's Privates" roleplays him and Riku played at home when Kairi was AFK.
Nostalgia gripped him. "Hao much? o"
The cash register made a cash registery sound. The dials between the cash register's sneaky eyes turned and when they finallol stopped they read 500 000 Pesetas, roughly worth $6 in non-Mexican currency.
Sora felt in his pants only to realize that toasters didn't wear pants. "OMG MY PANTS ARE GONE!" The NES felt him up, "Just the way I like it lol ;DDD" he said. "NOT NOW RIKU!" Sora shouted, although admittedly veryvery aroused by the NES and its strong controllers feeling up against his handles.
"Umm we don't have any munny…" Sora said. The cash register became furious, and not in the sexy way. "NOT ENOUGH CASH, STRANGER!" he shouted and put the Toaster-Keyblade-Wielder (™) from Ryan Industries (®) back and turned around.
Sora grew desperate. "umm lol isn't there another way ;;?!"
The cash register glared back. "What're ye sellin'? ;DDD" he said, and Sora instantly got the hint. Sora nodded at Riku, who likewise knew what to do. Him and Riku approached the cash register, and mighty controllers and sensitive handles felt him up. "AAAAAH…! I'LL BUY IT AT A HIGH PRICE!" he said and opened himself again. Only this time… The dials read 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 and from the cash register a mighty pelvic python emerged. 56.6 centimeters, or more exactly 22.2 inches. Almost as big as Riku. So this wouldn't be a match for them. Like cleaning. Spilled cum. From the table.
Sora and Riku were ace attorneys at this, and soon the kawaii merchant would know what toaster-hot pleasures that Destiny Islands smexiest bois had to offer and then some.
The handles and controllers continued to feel at the kawaii cash registar, pressing his numbered buttons. Sora giggled especially when the drawer contained money popped out, and Riku quickly tried to shove his controllers inside.
"I'm too hueg!" Riku noted. "I won't fit inside."
"Just the way I liek it! ;DDDDDDD" Sora replied. "Let's try this a different way then!" The toaster's knobs grabbed The Merchant's kawaii pelvic python and attempted to stick it into his ... toast holes?
"AAAAAAAH! I'LL BUY THAT AT A HIGH PRICE:3" The cash registar prompted.
"i¿PERDON?!" Kairi blabbered in her unkawaii spanish accent, causing the trio to turn around. ...oh yeah. Everyone was still here. lol. Opps. Bobbs. etc.
"Ummm... the more the merrier?" Sora laughed nervously.
The pink cell phone's deadpan face never changed. Sora sighed. After about an hour of Kairi yelling in Machine Code, threatening to drown herself AND choke herself (DOUBLE COMBO!), and Sora currently wanting to jump into a bathtub to end it all, there was a loud sound of... EVIL CACKLING.
"Oh... OH NO... I KNOW THOSE VOICES!" The kawaii brunet toaster cried, hiding behind his kawaii NES/boifriend. The merchant cash register was long gone by now; perhaps preparing himself for the next time they'd meet again (to SELL things, not what YOU'RE thinking, baka henati lovers . ).
Three forms appeared before them.
"Who... WHO ARE THEY?!" The Brave Little Toaster (the actual one, not Sora, lolol) asked in sheer horror. The evil cackling never ceased.
A mirror of smoke appeared from no where and this time it wasn't the unnatural exhausts of suuk being generated by Kairi's unkawaii Machine Code but something far, FAR moar sinister. And as the veil of smoke turned into a light-grey mist, the silhouettes of a fire extinguisher and a spiked tentacle dildo became visible.
PREPARE FOR DARKNESS!
AND LOADS OF HEARTLESS!
To bring about eternal twilight!
To smex kawaii bishies into the night!
To collect and acquire each and all hearts!
To stick our pieces into the place that farts!
LARXENE!
DEMYX!
Team Nobody will catch you within our iron grip!
But you'll never be as KAWAII as our Mudkip!
As the kawaii theme song motto of Larxene and Demyx (respectivelol) ended with a shebang a clock with spiky hair and a Mudkip costume jumped out between the two. "MUDKIP!ROXAS! THAT'S RITE!"
Every one came. Twice.
"ROXAS?!" Sora shouted.
"ROXAS?!" Riku shouted.
"plz kill me. ;;" Roxas replied.
"Roxas?!" Sora shouted. "What are yoooouuuuu doing here?!" Sora shouted. Dramatically. lol. It was hard for him to keep his massive helicockter (large enough to transport up to twelve men if you catch my drift ;DDD) in place though. Roxas was hotter than a BBQ of balls.
The dildo, Larxene, jumped forward, interrupting the kawaii reunion. "HEHEHE. HEY FAGS." She said.
Sora gasped. "LARXENE?!"
"Sup fags. We've come to take the heart of the brave little toaster friend you hav thar." She explained in a sexy way, but Sora wasn't turned on. His man-manhole was for Riku and Riku alone, and no dildo except those Riku bought at Wal Mart could get in there.
"But he's our friend!" Sora shouted.
"uh lol we just met him" Riku said a bit confused, but then again… Around Roxkips, who can think clearly? ;D
"Oh that's a shame lol. But if you wanna save your Toaster friend you're gonna have to get through the badguys. And guess wut?" Larxene said.
"WUT?!" Sora replied heroically.
"DemDem is a badguy!" she said and pushed fireextinguisher!Demyx at them befoar snatching Toaster and disappearing through a door to the darkness.
"WHY ME?!" said Demyx, confused. "I'm a bad fighter lol. ;;"
"Looks like it's tym for a boss battle Sora." Riku said with a frownie face. "The vacuum and the others are still paralysed by the kawaii Mudkip!Roxas. It's all up to us."
Sora nodded. This would indeed be a pivotal boss battle that'd decide the fate of the world... And their… dramatic pause … Relationship.
SUDDENLY!
"DANCE WATER, DANCE! WATER! WATER! WATER! COME ON KICK TO THE BEAT! WATER! WATER! YOU LIKE IT?! WATER! WATER! COME ON KICK TO THE BEAT! WATER! DANCE WATER DANCE!"
As Demyx continued to dance around like a moron, Sora and Riku realized that they didn't have keyblade. Opps.
"DANCE WATER, DANCE! WATER! WATER! WATER! COME ON KICK TO THE BEAT! WATER! WATER! YOU LIKE IT?! WATER! WATER! COME ON KICK TO THE BEAT! WATER! DANCE WATER DANCE!"
Sora grumbled. This was ALMOST as irritating as when Kairi complained about things (see: all the time). Which was ALMOST as bad when Kairi complained about things in MACHINE CODE (see: 99 of the time).
The kawaii toaster looked over at his sexylicious NES companion. "Riku?"
Riku nodded. "You got it, Sora."
He then whipped out his sperm machine of might which smacked against Demyx's metal body, causing a loud "PANG" to resound all through-out the entire universe, and he smashed into a tree.
"...did we win?" Sora asked, curiously.
"I think so o" Riku smirked kawaii-ily. "Now, Sora, while I have this thing out... ;D"
Sora blushed. HIS METAL CHEEKS WERE LIKE KAWAII ROSEBUSHES!!!!!!!!!!!
"NOT SO FAST!" A voice screamed.
"Wha--"
Riku was insantly interrupted as a large cock knocked him over, causing him to fall unconcious.
"Riku? RIKU!!" Sora cried, his kawaii toaster knobs covering his metal lips in pure shock. He then turned around to face Demyx, the possessor of this monstrous p33n0r, whipping out his own. It wasn't NEARLY as big, but it could hold out a battle. "IT'S TIME TO DUE--"
Demyx was gone.