June 20th, 2016
Two days ago I asked him if I could send him messages from once in a while. I thought that if I showed him that I cared about him, he would reconsider. He said no. He did not even explain why. I am devastated.
Though I have hopes, deep inside I suspect that he is waiting for me to give up, so he could strike his last words. What if it is indeed that? What if he is just waiting for me to get tired of this? What if he is so coward, that he is waiting for me to end up everything, so he remains free of guilt in front of everyone, our daughter included? Is he so mean? I should not even think about that, but I feel that I do not even know him anymore. He is a totally different person. If he cared about me, he would not have said to me he did not want to be messaged. I hope I am wrong and this is only the thoughts a broken heart makes you think.