-You Don't Know What a Hot Toddy Is?-

"So we all go back to yours and you sit and talk to me on the floor

There's no need to show me round baby, I feel like I've been in here before"

-17th December 2011-

The cold hit me with a stinging vividity, making me pull my hood up and clutch my coat tighter against my once overheated body. The snow swirled around Alex and I, unconsciously we moved closer together, brushing shoulders, as if to gather heat between our bodies. Winter was upon us with vengeance this year. For once it looked like we were going to have a white Christmas.

Turning to Alex, catching his eye in the darkened London street, I took a deep breath. "You know it is a little while to where I live, you really don't have to come with me"

I bit my lip and looked down at the icy stones of the pavement. I did want him to come back with me, even if it was just to walk back to my house and then say goodbye, but at the same time I was scared that he might expect more. Don't get me wrong, I do like a bit of a casual one night stand sometimes, I am just that sort of girl, but I just didn't think I could do it tonight. I felt worryingly fragile. I didn't know what had gotten into me.

"Hey, it's ok, I really don't mind Darlin'. I 'ave nothin' better to do, an' I'm in the mood for a walk." He chuckled and took my hand, tugging. "Come on, which way is it? I don't know 'bout you, but I'm bloody freezin' 'ere."

All at once I was filled with a warmth. I wasn't sure if it was his hand in mine or the joy which had filled my body when he said he would come back, whichever it was, I was happy. "Come on then." I said, pulling his hand, directing us towards a dimly lit road that lead away from the pub, into the night.

Where the orange glow from the lights on the road shone, snowflakes twirled and leapt, almost like the butterflies in my stomach. I pointed at them, smiling at their beauty. "Look Alex, aren't they beautiful? Have you ever seen anything so wonderful and free as a dancing snowflake?"

Abruptly, I realised how weird that sounded and seriously hoped I hadn't scared Alex away with my wildly strange imagination. Not hearing anything from him as we walked past a snow laden apple tree, I peaked up to see his face. He was staring at me, laughter played in the creases of his eyes, grinning.

I snatched my hand out of his. "Are you laughing at me? I was just expressing my delight in the surroundings" I snapped at him, as I sped up walking. Yes it may have sounded a bit weird and it would have been ok if he had looked at me like I was a little crazy, but there is no need to laugh.

"Wait. Wait. I'm sorry." I could hear his feet on the pavement as he ran to catch up with my march along the slippery stone. "I weren't laughin' at you in that way. I were laughin' in delight at your ability to express what you see so freely."

I stopped in my tracks. Ok so we had, had a conversation, but to be quite honest it was quite one sided. I had just talked and he offered his opinions in small sentences, nods and noises. He had seemed perfectly fine just to listen to me, even when I apologized for talking so much he urged me to carry on, and I was happy to oblige. So when he sprang this rather long and lovely sentence on me, as you can guess I was surprised. Before I could turn and reply, there was a shove from behind. My foot skidded on the perilously unstable floor. With an "umf", I landed on half stone and half something else. My legs and arms tangled with some unknown being, there was a groan and I struggled to untangle myself when I realised who was below me. It seemed I had stopped just a bit too suddenly. So suddenly that poor Alex hadn't had time to halt before we collided.

"Oh my god. Alex, are you ok?" I lent over his face. His eyes were closed, brow scrunched up.

He opened his eyes, looking slightly bewildered. "Yeah, nothin' seems broken. You're heavier than you look you know."

Before I could help myself, laughter bubbled over my lips. I slumped down next to him on the freezing concrete and laughed. Thankfully he started to laugh too, as snowflakes fell on our glowing faces.

When the chill started to seep through our layers of clothing and our laughter subsided, Alex sat up and looked down at me, brown hair falling over his eyes. "You know, you have amazing eyes. Very blue and black."

I looked away, sure I was blushing. "Well, so do you." I said quietly " I mean they're not blue and black, but they are very nice, kinda like, urm….I'm not sure really. It's hard to put my finger on."

He smiled his sweet, small smile and offered me his hand which I took without question. "We had better carry on, before either of us get pneumonia." He said while pulling me to my feet.

"Ok." Not quite sure what happened back there and shivering, I was happy to carry on going.

We walked on in a companionable silence, past the houses of the rich Londoners until we finally arrived at my step-grandmother's house where I was living. The house was tall and white, a cold looking vine making its way towards the upstairs window. I pushed the rusty green gate aside as we made our way up to the front door. Fishing the key out of my cluttered bag, I unlocked the two locks with my numb hands. Pushing the door open, I quickly ran to the alarm and entered the code. God knows we didn't want the police turning up if it went off. I looked back to see Alex standing on the outside mat, shivering and looking hesitantly at me.

Looking at his thin leather jacket and tired, but still gorgeous face, I made my second split second decision of the night. "Well are you coming in or what?" I said, raising my eyebrows. "Did nobody ever tell you that leather jackets are not as warm as they are made out to be?"

A look of relief flashed across his handsome features. "Thanks. An' yeah I 'ave been told that, but I don't listen to them."

"Clearly." I said dryly as he walked past me into the warm hallway.

Looking around, he looked confused. "Do you live 'ere all by yourself?"

"No. This is my Gran's house, I'm just living here while I do my Foundation Degree. She's not here at the moment, she's skiing in the Alps."

If I wasn't mistaken, that was a smirk that was creeping it's way up his face. His eyes met mine. "So it's just you an' me. Alone...together...again."

I gulped. "Yes. And don't you be getting idea's. I'm not feeling like that sort of girl tonight. If you're expecting more from me, you've got the wrong idea and you can leave right now." I crossed my arms defensively, one brow raised.

Standing up taller, looking me straight in the eye, he said. "I'm not intendin' to do anythin' of that sort. I were just jokin' around. You just seemed like an interestin' woman an' we seemed to be gettin' on well, so I decided to at least walk you home. That's all I expect of you."

Seeing the sincerity in his eyes, I lowered mine to the cream carpet under my feet. "I'm sorry. Some guys…,well lets just say they expect more than I am willing to give. Sorry"

I felt a hand under my chin, lifting my face up. Dark eyes gazed into mine. "Don't apologize. I understand, I really do." I smiled a sad smile. "Please smile again. Properly. It's funny, you seem to glow, brilliantly, and then you just fade. You're so dark…and yet I am sure you have lit the way for many."

Taken aback, I frowned. "Bloody hell Alex, no need to get all poetic on me, it's not that serious." I turned my head away. "Come on, let's have a hot drink. I am fucking freezing!" I realised that the door was still open and we hadn't even turned the hallway light on. I ran my hand across the wall to where I knew the light switch was. We both squinted in the sudden light that blossomed on the walls and our faces.

Shrugging my jacket off, I draped it on the chair that stood next to the hall table, indicating that he could do the same if he wanted. I shook my head at the white t-shirt that was revealed when he slid off his leather jacket. He smiled apologetically. I couldn't say much though, I was wearing my favorite knee length flower printed blue vintage dress with only some black wool tights to warm my legs. At least I had, had my big brown Bench jacket though.

I lead the way into the kitchen, turning on lights as I went. The kitchen was old fashioned, but in a homely sort of way. There were french windows that lead out into a tiny garden opposite the door. There was an island and cupboards that went up to the ceiling over the sink and cooker on your left. On the other side of the island, a big wooden table took over half of the room, a vase of mint sitting peacefully at the end. Photo's covered the walls, some faded and some new. To say the least, it was a very lived in kitchen.

I went over to the electric kettle, filled it with water and set it back in it's base, flicking the switch on, "I'm gonna make a hot toddy, do you want one, or I've got other drinks?" I said while I took two mugs down from the cupboard over the sink.

"What's a hot toddy?..." Alex said in a confused voice.

I whirled around in disbelief. "Are you telling me you've never had a hot toddy before!?"

He looked slightly embarrassed. "No. Should I 'ave?"

My mouth fell open. "Urm...yeah! Seriously? Well then you are definitely having one." Seeing his worried look, I rolled my eyes "Look it's really nice, promise. It's an old Irish drink. It's honey and lemon with a large splash of whisky. Just what we need on a night like tonight. I can't actually feel my toes."

"Alright then. If you say so." He said, sitting down in the squashy arm chair.

"Yes I do say so."

He gave a small laugh. It was so strange seeing him here. Somehow he seemed to be too glamorous to be in this old kitchen, but at the same time he fit in just right. How strange I thought, while I poured the boiling water over the honey and lemon I had put in our two mugs. The steam curled up from the mugs in white wisps.

Making a decision I faced Alex who was leaning back on the chair, eyes closed. His lashes spread a shadow down his cheekbones like crows wings. "Hey, do you wanna go into the lounge, sit by the fire and drink these? There's more comfy armchairs in there, even a couple of sofas if your interested." I smiled when he smiled.

"That sounds great, sweet'eart." A warm glow swelled in my stomach. He unfolded his long limbs from the chair.

I passed him his mug, in which I had splashed a generous amount of whiskey into.

When we got to the lounge, I turned on the soft table light that lit up the shadowed high ceiling of the room. Putting my drink down on the small table opposite the fire I reached and turned the gas on, lighting a match and putting it to the fire place. Flames burst forth warming my face. I silently sent up a prayer of thanks for gas fires. Sure I knew how to light a fire from scratch, but it was such a faf.

I settled myself against the side of the sofa on my left, next to where Alex had sat. My left shoulder lent up against his legs. We both stared into the fire, sipping our drinks, lost in our own thoughts.

After awhile I pulled myself out of the swirling darkness of my exhausted mind and had an idea. It was quite forward and considering what I had said to him earlier he might get the wrong idea but…

"Al?" I was surprised, and pleasantly so, when my lips formed a shorten version of his name.

"Hmm?" Came the answer from above.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" I blurted out. "I mean you would have to sleep with me as the other rooms are being redone and I insist that you don't sleep on the sofa." Against my will I went on. "And I know what I said earlier, but it's just that its so cold outside and it's late and, well, I suppose I trust you not to..." I trailed off. My face burned.

"Ok." Came the reply to my ramblings.

I started in surprise and delight as I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and it gave me a small squeeze. I smiled and rested my head against it. 'God, I hardly even know this guy...' My thoughts trailed off as the fingers of the said hand started to gently caress my cheek.

After a while I broke away from him and stood up, my back clicking. He laughed and I didn't mind. Silently we made our way to the stairs and up, leaving our mugs and turning off lights as we went.

I made my way to my bedroom, tiredness blurring my vision. My room was small, but it was mine and you could tell. I had a small bathroom next to it which I turned the light on in as we went past. Turning the light on in my room, I grabbed my pajamas off my pillow.

"I'm gonna change and brush my teeth. I have a spare toothbrush you can borrow and believe it or not I actually have some mens PJ trousers if you want them. I doubt those jeans will be very comfy to sleep in."

He smiled at me. Would I ever be able to get over the beauty of that smile. I hope not. "Ok, thanks. Yes jeans are not comfy to sleep in, even worn out ones like these" He pointed towards his legs.

I laughed. "Oh believe me I know." I walked past him over to the small white wardrobe that was in the wall. Opening it, I grabbed the PJ trousers from under a shoe box.

I frowned when I handed them to him. "Sorry. They're a bit dusty. Been a while since anyone has needed them."

"It's ok, I've slept in worse" He said, inspecting them. I raised a skeptical brow. He nodded to the truth in his words.

Turning towards the door, I grabbed the handle. "Right then. I am going to brush my teeth and change and you can change now and then you can go in the bathroom ok?"

"Cool." Was the only reply I got. Poor guy, he sounds exhausted, I thought as I closed the door to the bathroom.

Sure enough, when I got back into my room I was blessed by a sweet, heavenly sight. A sight I had never even thought would happen, not even in my wildest dreams. Alex lay on my bed, one arm thrown across his face, shielding his eyes. His bare chest glowed in the light. Jesus christ! If we both weren't so tired I would consider jumping him right there and then. I sat down on the side of the bed where Alex's sprawling limbs did not reach. Thankfully I was in the habit of folding my duvet at the bottom of my bed, so it was no bother to pull the blanket up over both of us. I lent over him and turned of my sidelight, taking one more lingering glance at his face as I did so. Snuggling down I felt content. Then there was movement next to me and Alex pushed his arm under the covers towards me, putting his arm across my waist, pulling me to his chest. I was unbelievably warm, comfy and in bed with an amazing, captivating man, what more could a woman ask for? I could feel his breath against my neck. And then out of no where, he brushed his lips up against the bare skin of my shoulder, I could feel a smile pulling at his mouth. I was done. Snuggling down against Al's warm chest, I sighed, properly happy for the first time in ages.

"I've been wondering whether later when you tell everybody to go,

Will you pour me one for the road?"