The Madness of War
Second War Story: The Epona Express
When Impa found him, she was sure he was dead. The battle had been won, but there would be no celebration in the camp tonight like that which usually followed a significant victory. Darunia would not dance for joy, nor would Sheik play any lively or heroic songs on the harp. No…dirges would be played – and the Nocturne of Shadow to send a poor soul along its way.
Epona nuzzled Link's hair as he lay still upon the ground, on his back. She looked as though she was pleading for her master to wake up, her lip moving over a gash in his forehead, painting blood into his hair. There were all kinds of rents in his outer tunic. The gleam of chainmail could be seen beneath save for the burned and bloody diagonal swath over the young man's chest where the summoned Gohma's eye-beam had hit him with full-force. His pants were red in places where swords and axes had caught him. The general's-scarf was rumpled up beneath him, soiled in blood-mud dirt. To add insult to injury, he was in his stocking-feet. Someone had taken his boots.
Impa knelt beside him. She sighed. At least his eyes were closed and he looked dignified, considering the circumstances. "Easy, Epona," she said.
That's when the corpse did something that corpses (at least ones not imbued with magic enough to become ReDeads, Gibdos or Stalfos) generally did not do: Link weakly raised a hand and tried to swat Impa away with a confused and angry grunt.
"Link?" Impa inquired, her hope renewed.
"Link, it's not a monster!" Proxi chimed, "It's Impa! She's here to help you!"
Link was wrinkling his nose and barking pathetic half-choked cries as though he'd been prematurely awakened from a nap and was none too happy about it. He yelled and had a spasm when Impa touched him. She withdrew a bottle of medicine from her storage and tried to pour a dribble of it into his mouth.
"Calm down, soldier," Impa ordered. "The battle is over and victory is ours. You are going to live and you are going to do as I say in order to survive."
"Oh, thank you, Impa!" Proxi said with a surprisingly loud fairy-sigh of relief. "We didn't know anyone was coming for a while! See, Link? We can always count on our friends."
Link cracked his eyes open a sliver and managed a weak smile. He willingly took more of the potion, forcing his sore throat and weak muscles to drink it down. Impa called over a pair of Hylian Captains and ordered them to fetch a stretcher.
Link awakened sometime later in a private tent. He was bruised, sewn-up and bandaged. Most of his torso was merely bruised, although very darkly. His wounds would have been far worse had he not been wearing excellently-crafted mail. It has served him well, even though he could feel the patterns of it burned into his skin where he'd taken the Gohma's beam. That was the worst injury – he'd been close to the beast when he'd failed to dodge its attack and it had actually melted a gash though his light armor – and into tender flesh. The young Hero could feel a subtly-throbbing pain in his rib-bones. No wonder the opposing commander had laughed in his defeat. That was a twisted wizard for you… teleports off to lick his wounds while he sends a giant mindless beast to finish his dirty work for him.
Link also had a thin blanket over him in the cot he was resting in and, as he learned when he lifted the blanket, not a stitch of clothing on him.
Whatever potions and healing magic that had been given to him had worked well. He winced and grunted in pain, but at least he was strong enough to move around now. Link got up from his cot and wrapped the blanket around his waist. He couldn't leave the tent like this. He looked around, hoping to find his Hero's Clothes.
"Hmm. Still breathing."
Link spun around in shock. Impa was standing there. Sheikah were so quiet – so stealthy. He had not heard her approach.
He'd turned around so quickly that he forgot his grip on the blanket. It fell right off him.
Impa looked unfazed. She just looked right into his eyes with her perpetually-serious blood-red glare. "Back to bed," she said simply.
Impa had struck Link as having an old soul, at least as old as his. Furthermore, she struck him as being something of an ancient woman in her own right. She looked young and agile, yet something about her was timeless and few things seemed to ever surprise her. The naked body of the highest ranking officer in her army standing right in front of her did not seem to bother her at all.
Link, however, blushed furiously and scrambled to cover himself. The best then he could find on short-notice were his hands. He sputtered and squeaked.
Impa just kept looking at him like there was nothing wrong, giving him the same regard as she did when he was in proper attire.
"Link would like to know where his clothes are," Proxi informed the royal guardian.
Impa addressed Link. "Your clothing and mail are currently being repaired. The mending of your body took priority over the mending of your gear. We are not moving out until you are healthy and you have no need to address the soldiers right now. So – Bed. Now."
Link picked up his blanket and obeyed. It wasn't just that, as a recent knight-trainee, he was used to thinking of Impa as a superior officer. If he were king – signed, sealed and crowned, he would still obey her. She was the scariest woman in the world. She would either heal him or kill him and he was grateful that she had the former on her mind instead of the latter.
"There is some water in a jar by your bed and a glass for it. There is a chamber-pot by the chest, do not break it. I will be bringing in rations shortly," Impa assured. "Do you need anything else?"
Link raised a finger in request.
"Besides your clothing," Impa said.
Link put his hand down. He watched her leave and lay back in his cot. It was pretty obvious, by this point, that his current state of undress wasn't just a matter of stitches and burn-salve.
"Oooh, she's a mean one, isn't she?" Proxi said, bouncing over his chest. "But I can't blame her. It's the only way to keep you inside so you'll rest."
Link turned over, grunted and tried to get back to sleep.
When night fell over the camp, lanterns were lit inside the tents. Link had one hanging from the supports of his own. He'd had enough of bed-rest and was looking through one of his belt-pouches left beside his sword and shield.
He pulled out a set of clothing with an expression of pure mirth lining his features.
"Ooh, what's that, Link?" Proxi asked.
"I can't believe I still have this stuff!" Link spoke to her in the way that he was able to speak to fairies. He had a significant impediment in regards to speaking to fellow Hylians and to most other races, but he was able to communicate clearly with fairies. Proxi had been a goddessend to him, allowing him to speak clearly and concisely – through her- to others for the first time in years. Not everyone spoke sign-language. Link hoped that she'd stick around not only for the war, but for the peace, as well. He truly valued and needed a Proxi.
"Let's see… white short-cut clothing… leather bracers… a red hat… and is that a flag?"
"Uh-huh!" Link answered her. "A few years ago, before I started my army-training, I worked for the Hyrule Postal Service. That's how come I can run so fast. I was a courier, a delivery-boy."
"How cool!" Proxi exclaimed, as ever, easily impressed by her charge, as fairies tended to be. "Did you like it?"
"I did. It was actually pretty dangerous work sometimes. There's a reason why the recruitment posters in Castle Town read 'Orphans Preferred.' Well, I was that and needed the rupees, so I volunteered to do the mail runs to the more hazardous areas, past the passes that had monsters so the older guys wouldn't have to."
"Oh, Link… Are you going to put the uniform on? I bet you look really good in it."
Link gave his little friend a devious smile. He pulled on the shirt and shorts, laced up the sandals and put the bracers on. Lastly, he applied the hat. He refrained from raising the flag in the tent's confines.
"Hey! Don't laugh!"
Proxi was bouncing and giggling before his nose. "Those shorts!" she cried. "They don't leave much to the imagination!"
"You've seen me!" Link protested. "I thought fairies didn't care about that sort of thing… except…maybe… the Great Fairy…" Link shuddered. "Okay, okay, so I had the job a few years ago and I've done a bit of growing since then! Everything still fits…It's better than being nude."
"So, Impa can't keep you inside anymore."
"Exactly."
"Do you really want to address the troops like this, Link?"
Link shook his head. "I've… got a better idea."
"An idea? Link… you really should go back to bed."
"I need to stretch my legs, Proxi. I'm going stir-crazy. So, what I'm going to do… I'm going to take my flag and… we passed Kakariko Village recently, down past the valley…"
"Yeah, I believe that was the place we passed. We picked up a lot of troops from there."
"That's my point. I bet my men and my women would get a strong boost to their morale if they got letters from their family and friends! If I can't fight right now, I can at least do my old job! I'm gonna head on down there and ask the folks there to write letters and then I'll bring them back here and it will make everyone really happy."
"Link," Proxi warned, "If Impa catches you…"
Link grinned. "Don't worry, Proxi. I won't strain myself. I am going to take Epona. We're not far. I'll live up to the motto: Hyrule Mail Express – Quick as a Wild Rabbit!"
Impa made her rounds early in the morning. She grunted when she saw Epona's tether empty. No one had seen Link around the camp.
"What is that idiot up to?" she grumbled.
She tapped her chin in thought. "And is he naked?"
The people of Kakariko Village were amused to see the general of the Hylian army in their streets, dressed up as a common postman. When Proxi conveyed to them to quickly write letters to their beloved soldiers, the paper and the writing quills flew. Link borrowed an old large Dodongo-stomach bomb bag to stuff the letters in. He had his own magical portal pouch, but did not wish to mix the belongings of others with his own things. Besides, having a large saddlebag full of letters made him look like a real Hylian-post worker, in this case, a real pony-express rider.
When he rode back up the trail in the strong light of the afternoon, he hit a cliff-pass in the shadows. From the crags and crannies, a horde of Bokoblins attacked. They were led by a sweaty, fat Moblin.
Link growled and Epona keyed up her hooves. He rode right through them. Link and his mare scattered the enemies, knocking them out or into the next world. The young general had remembered to take a basic knight's sword and cut down the Moblin as it charged him.
No one was going to keep him from making his appointed rounds! Not sleet, nor rain, nor dark of night – nor a horde of fowl-smelling demons.
"My name is Link!" he said in his mind as he made a fierce battle-cry. "I will be your messenger for today! A messenger of death! I am delivering pain! Come get some!"
"Great job, Link!" Proxi encouraged as he made it past the lines.
Link slumped slightly in the saddle as he let Epona slow to a light trot. He was definitely still recovering. His bandaged thighs throbbed. His chest hurt. However, when he rode back into camp, he felt his strength renewed, for everyone was there to greet him.
Fi looked at him quizzically – which was much more emotion than she typically showed. Sheik hid most of her face behind her mask and probably felt it a good thing that she was not currently in her native form as Princess Zelda. Midna doubled over laughing and fell right off her conjure-wolf. Darunia shook the ground with his "Ho, ho, ho! " –ing. Ruto blushed so much she could have been mistaken for a red snapper.
"Well, Mr. Link, you look as snug as a bug!" Agitha added.
Link sat tall in the saddle with his flag vibrating in the wind and tried to look dignified. He reached for his letter-bag. Proxi floated around him and made announcements.
"Link has been to Kakariko!" she called. "Any of the soldiers from Kakariko, please report to him to receive gifts and letters!"
A large group of men and women gathered around Epona, each receiving mail from Link in turn.
"Well, Link, I knew you were bored," Impa said, "but this is something I'd never guess you'd get a wild hair up your tail to do."
Link simply smiled and handed her a letter addressed to her from the entire village. It was her hometown and that had not been lost on her young general. The stoic Sheikah-chief had tried to stop it, but a tiny tear welled up in her left eye and trickled down the side of her face.
"You still need to rest," she said. "Bed. Now."
Link, this time, after his rough ride, happily complied with orders.
Ever after, when not in battle, Link often donned the old Postman's Uniform to relay letters between the bases held by the Hylian army – and to gather letters from Hyrule's surviving villages for his troops whenever he could.