They should've hired faster guards at the school; I'm not the fastest runner in Degrassi and yet I still managed to disappear without a scratch.

I guess tasers are out of question when it comes to students.

Did I really just see what I saw—the one thing I didn't want to happen? Who was I supposed to go to now when I felt like crying; when I needed comforting?

Eli's family was like the family I was supposed to have; now their grasp is an inch away from my reach. Imogen just had to come into the picture.

The Dot was the only place around here that actually made me calm. The coffee isn't as bad as they say it is.

The bell on the door floods so many memories into my head at once. The smell of coffee beans engulfs me in a drugged state that feels so inviting that I don't care who sees me here.

Walking up to the desk, I bump into someone, feeling warmness on the front of my shirt. My mouth opens agape as I see that I can't go back to school now…

"I'm so sorry," the person apologizes, and as I'm about to respond I see that I'm not the only one who cuts school.

"Jake?" I ask disbelievingly. "You cut school?"

Jake hurries to grab napkins and hesitates to clean my shirt, handing me them in my hands. I smile.

"I think it might be the same reason as to why you're here; I need to get away every once in a while." Now looking at him, Jake didn't seem that bad of a kid; he might've looked similar to the old me, but we had things in common.

I dab my shirt and give up after the first try. "I guess I need to go home and wash this," I mutter to myself, laughing under my breath.

"Do you need a ride?" Jake asks. I raise an eyebrow.

"You drive?" I ask. "Aren't you in my grade?"

Jake shakes his head. "I'm a junior; remember? You're the one who's the advanced tenth grader in my English class."

A warm feeling comes to my cheeks. Am I blushing? The last time I blushed was when Eli…

"Oh yeah, right." I blurt out, scratching my head. "Would you mind?"

Jake shakes his head, holding the door open for me. "Not at all," he says proudly, smiling.

Before I enter the passenger side of the car, I turn to him. "I'm sorry for the coffee incident; I don't usually do that to people I just meet."

Jake's face turned from friendly to kind, with an emotion in his eyes that I believed I saw in class earlier. "It's okay," he murmured, leaning against the car door. "It happens. Plus," he enters the driver's side of the car as I slide in with him. "You'll just have to hang out with me for longer today so that we can finish our project."

I smile widely, listening to the engine start. "I won't mind," I say without my mind's permission. Maybe this isn't so bad.

Now or Never

The project went easier than I thought it would; an hour passed in what seemed like minutes. Jake was actually very entertaining; he was intelligent as well. I don't understand how no one here has taken a liking to him yet; he seemed to be the perfect boy to date.

But when I laid myself down to sleep, Jake wasn't the one boy in my head; all of Eli's and my memories flooded my eyes. Every letter and every phone call replayed once again. Tears came out of my eyes more than they should have.

Lastly, before I fell asleep, the image of him and Imogen played. How could he have moved on so quickly? Was I that replaceable?

My alarm blared at six in the morning as I took away all the regret from my features. I couldn't cry anymore for him; it was my turn to move on.

As long as I spent time with Jake, that hole in my heart seemed to be covered. I knew that it wasn't fair to Jake, but it wasn't like we were a couple. He was a friend; friends help friends come out of their depressing moods and replace them with happy, fun-filled thoughts.

Jake picked me up in the morning, starting the conversation very happily. We talked about things that I would've never thought about talking to with Eli; favorite paintings, cars…

It got ugly before I knew it. "Have you had any boyfriends yet?" Jake asked, and I think he felt that pull something in me. My breath hitched and became stuck in my throat as I tried to calm myself down. "You don't have to answer that if it's too much…" he responds, concerned.

I put up a hand in protest as I breathe in deeply. "It's fine," I almost squeak, clearing my throat. "I've had two; neither of them worked out very well in the end." A moment of silence came over us as Jake thought about it, tapping the wheel to the rhythm of the music.

"Is one of them Eli Goldsworthy?" He asks curiously. My heart leaps out of my chest.

I know that I can't respond in words; it's already too much for me. I nod, making sure that he sees it out of the corner of his eye.

Jake mutters something to say that he acknowledged it, but then it becomes quiet again. "How'd you guess?" I ask him after I feel myself regaining control of my emotions.

Jake shrugged, pulling into Degrassi. "He always looks at you during class; it's…" he trails off, making my heart pause. "It's like he needs to say something to you but can't."

The car comes to a halt and I literally want to run into the school and hide. But instead I get out of the car in a calm matter, walk over to Jake and pull him into a hug.

I know that Jake doesn't understand it yet, but he surely will soon enough. All that I need right now is a friend.

A friend with unknown benefits.