I had time to update. The crack that usually runs through my bloodstream has been on very low levels. It took a while to think of an idea for this chapter. I did, though, and I hope all the readers like it. I'm trying to update all three of my Vampire Knight stories this weekend.

I want to thank everyone who reviewed Chapter one of this story. You guys are very nice people.

I added a little flashback at the beginning of the chapter. Just Zero remembering the good old days.

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight. I don't technically own any crack either.

Warning: We have some very OOC characters in this chapter. There is also another yaoi moment. No one, not even Zero, is immune to Kaname's sexiness.

Attempt #2

"Yuuki? What are you doing?" asked Zero, staring at Yuuki in confusion. Both of the prefects were on a roof next the Moon Dorms. Yuuki was sitting on the railing with a pair of high-tech binoculars pressed to her face, drool coming from her mouth as she stared at one of dorm windows. She snapped out of her gaze when Zero called her and turned to address him.

"Oh…my…god. Zero, if you stand in this exact position and use these binoculars, you can see right into Kaname-senpia's bathroom! And he's taking a shower!" Zero stared at her in shock, before lunging for Yuuki.

"What?! Hey, give me those binoculars!"

"No! If I don't get in enough 'Kaname-senpia spying' time before I go to bed I'll have nightmares. Go stalk Kaname during your own time," retorted Yuuki. A struggle for the binoculars ensued and Yuuki ended up losing her balance. Zero let out a cry of alarm as Yuuki fell of the railing. He looked over the edge, and then let out a sigh of relief.

"Good, that stone column broke her fall."

Attempt #2: A…um…park

…I might not make it out of this situation alive. There are some things I would like to tell the people I know.

Lily, my beautiful horse…I've always loved you. I know I forgot our wedding anniversary, but I promise if I live through this I'll make it up to you.

Headmaster Cross…I hate you. You change your appearance and attitude, and suddenly you're Mr. Super Awesome Sexy Vampire Hunter. Now all my fangirls are running to you! You of all people! I always thought you and Master Yagari were…never mind.

Um, hey, Master Yagari. If you find certain…magazines under my bed, they, um…aren't mine. I swear! I was holding them for Ichiru…you know…before I ate him.

Kaname Kuran…I'm never falling for that little stunt you pulled last week ever again.

And Yuuki…I KEEL YOU!

Zero pressed the stop button on his tape recorder. He finally finished recording his last will and testament. If this mission failed and he ended up dead, hopefully someone will find this and listen. Zero looked down from his position in the tree, one of the many in the park. Now all he had to do was wait for them. His plan will work out perfectly this time. Yuuki always forced Kaname to come with her to the park every Friday for bonding time. The tree he was in had a perfect view of the park bench they always sat on. He just had to wait for Yuuki to sit down and then he would spring into action.

Zero went completely still as Kaname and Yuuki's voices got louder. The two seemed to be in a heated argument as they walked down the path. Zero used his vampire senses to try to pick up the conversation.

"Kaname-oniisama! This is the third time you've forgotten about me! Aren't you supposed to protect me or something? You drove the both of us to the woods, made me get out of the car, and then DROVE OFF! Then I was kidnapped by a bunch of council supporting vampires. Do you know how long it took me to escape? If I didn't know any better I would think you were trying to get rid of me on purpose." She glared at Kaname, who had a nervous look on his face. Those stupid council supporters owe him his fifty dollars back. She wasn't supposed to escape.

"…Of course not. Why would I want to get rid of you?" Kaname had a reassuring smile on his face, but the pureblood's left eye was twitching slightly.

"Well, next time you should…" Zero felt a wave of pity as Yuuki started to nag Kaname's ear off. Zero was use to such treatment from her. It was kind of weird, though. This vampire Yuuki acted exactly like the human Yuuki. He watched as she continued to yell.

"And you are a horrible fiancée," finished Yuuki. She was slightly out of breath after her rant. She glared up at Kaname, who opened his mouth and came up with the best comeback ever.

"Well…your mom."

Oooh. Burn.

"We have the same mom," replied Yuuki flatly.

"Um, yeah, about that. Well, let's just say, hypothetically I'm not your real brother…"

Zero pulled the Bloody Rose out of his jacket as Kaname led Yuuki to the bench. He froze, though, when Kaname's gaze landed on him. Kaname looked at the bench, then Zero, then the bench again, and then back at Zero. He quickly pushed Yuuki on the bench.

"Here, Yuuki. Sit here. In this exact spot."

Zero aimed the Bloody Rose at Yuuki. He was about to pull the trigger but his fingers froze. Could he really kill Yuuki?

"Remember what she did to your clothes," said a voice in the back of his head. A voice that was eerily similar to Kaname's. Very similar. Zero put his finger on the trigger again. It was time.

CRACK! Went the tree branch Zero was sitting on. The ex-human went tumbling and fell face first.

Into an ant pile. A red ant pile.

Zero's cry of pain could be heard across the whole country. Yuuki looked around wildly and Kaname sighed in annoyance.

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When Zero woke up, after passing out from pain, Kaname and Yuuki were leaving. Yuuki didn't see him, but Kaname sent him a glare. Zero had failed him. Zero watched the retreating back's of the purebloods. Yuuki was right. Kaname did have a nice bu-

"Oh, hell no!"

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"What is it, Yuuki?"

"I don't know, oniisama. I thought I just heard…the joyful screaming of a thousand yaoi fangirls."

I am a huge Kaname/Yuuki fan, but I thought it would be funny if, after waiting ten years for her to remember him, Kaname got really annoyed with her. And Kaname is just so amazing. I hope you guys liked this chapter. The next chapter will be about Aidou and Zero's vines. I leave the rest to everyone's imaginations.

-desperately tries to get the crack out of her system before updating one of her serious stories-