Wolf: Originally I was going to have this as just a one-shot but after reading a couple reviews and giving it some thought, I decided to give this fic a plot. I'm not sure how long it's going to be. Probably only a few chapters or so and I don't know how fast I'll update but read and enjoy. :3
Disclaimer: Don't own Mai HiME.
Consuming
Chapter 1
Unspoken and Unseen
After the Carnival, everything seemed to go back to normal. Everything seemed just fine. Many pleas for forgiveness were said and many 'I forgive you's' were uttered. There seemed to be no hard feelings, no negativity in the air. They were all just happy it was over with and done, that the Carnival could finally be erased from their minds forever.
Oh if only it could have been that simple.
Beneath the surface, beneath their timid lies that all was forgiven and forgotten, malice leaked. Beneath their smiles and cheerful atmospheres, fear and doubt lingered in each of their heart. During the times they all got together, there were still the wary glances, still the uncertainty. A nervous peer, wondering 'Can I trust him?'; a suspicious glare, speaking 'Is she safe to be around?'; a frightened glance, whispering 'Are the two of us ok as just friends?'. These were just glimpses of their conflicted emotions, their fears and doubts placing a cold grasps around their hearts.
None of these were ever spoken though. Vile questions and angry claims were never spoken for fear of breaking the fragile air of friendliness each had constructed. They all thought the same thing. If they could forget what happened, if they could just forget and forgive; it'd all be ok.
Things like this just were never simple. One could only take so much of their illusory before shattering under its false image.
Shizuru was just the first to break.
- - -
Natsuki and Shizuru seemed to be the most troubled after the Carnival. They were the most anxious to repair what had been broken under the lurid shackles of the Carnival. They scrambled to mend what once was, piecing back each shard of the mirror that was their friendship, glassy and transparent.
They walked on an endless path back and forth, demurely picking up each piece and setting it back on their cracked mirror of friendship. Side by side with a fervent, almost desperate, pace; they never lost step with each other on the road, never sped up nor slowed, endlessly. Their hearts beat as one in a slow, staccato beat. Both felt the fear and apprehension at the questioning in their plagued minds.
What if, no matter how hard they tried to forget and continue on healing, just what if…
…they couldn't mend their friendship?
- - -
It wasn't that long after when the nightmares began.
The agonizingly slow healing after the Carnival was taking its toll on her, the anxiety rising potently against her broken sanity. Her abhorrence and uncertainty were vastly pooled in her soul, seeding into her mind and slowly chipping away at what little balance she had managed to scrounge after those dark suffering days. Manifesting itself into agitating visions, she slept more fitfully each passing night.
Hands would always clutch at her pallid sheets, pale oak hair spread against her cushions and her slender body writhed beneath. Gasps would wearily float from her throat, incoherent words spilled from red lips as she vainly tried to fight the onslaught of nightmares. Her scarlet eyes, roving beneath her shut eyelids, rolled all the way to the back of her skull as her back arched. Fingers scrabbled on the sheets as the moon sent a sickly beam of white through her curtains and into her bedroom. She twisted away from it.
Her brow knitted in distress upon her soft face and her lips pulled downward. Her breathing grew ragged; she shoved the sheets away. Legs, clad in simple white cotton pants, thrashed on the bed as wave after wave of sin and guilt took shape in horrific nightmares. Outstretching her arms, she scratched at thin air and hissed.
Then in the span of a moment, her body froze in mid-action. Muscles pulled painfully taut and a spasm grappled her body, sent a violating ripple of agony down her spine and a hollow shriek tore from her vocal cords. Scarlet eyes snapped open.
Shizuru panted in the dark, her dark eyes flicking about the room in a frightful glance. She saw nothing except for the familiar structure of old furniture and valuables. There were no shadows of demons and fire at the foot of her bed, no apparitions licking at her feet with lustful grins as they tried to lure her into the fiery pits of her damnation. There were no figures, hands stained with blood, reaching for her and crying hollowly of her sin.
She was alone. Completely alone and safe in solitude.
She was safe right? She could go back to sleep right?
With an almost inaudible whimper, the brunette tugged her sheets back and nestled deeper into them. Her chin dipped into the crook of her arm and she shivered in the cold, night air. Why was it so cold? A quick toss of her head toward the window showed her why.
It was open, but she didn't remember ever opening it.
No matter, she was too tired to rise up and shut it.
Turning back to her covers, Shizuru once again demurely cuddled into them. Her shoulders quivered with the rooted fear that had struck her core from the nightmares. Cheek pressed against her pillow, scarlet eyes stared wide awake at her shadowed walls. Her nostrils flared from her heavy breathing and her fists caught the sheets, trapped them in a vice grip.
Just for the sake of it, she told herself as she pushed the covers off.
Feet touched the soft carpet floor of her bedroom as Shizuru lifted from the bed. She firmly crossed to her window and closed it with a snap. Dim bloody eyes suspiciously gazed at the shadows, as if she expected a beast to lash out at her right then and there. When she was sure that no such thing was going to occur, Shizuru crept back into bed.
Settling down once again in the sheets, a sigh filtered from her throat and her red eyes darkened. Her breathing became more subdued, her hands limp and releasing the fistful of sheets in their grasp. Relaxing finally in the night, she allowed sleep to lay its ghostly hands on her exhausted form and pull her back into the abyss of dreams. Losing consciousness rapidly, she hoped against all hope that the nightmares wouldn't take her again.
- - -
Natsuki was having an altogether much more different night.
Her blanket wasn't wrapped tightly around her frame like it had been for Shizuru, rather it was rumpled messily on the bed. Her breathing wasn't far too hazarded, though it was disturbed as could be identified by the hitches in breath now and then. Dark eyebrows laced into a frown as a low growl vibrated in the girl's chest and throat. She whipped her head back and forth on the pillow, disturbed.
In her dreams, she was steadily walking down an old beaten path. It was the same dream she'd been having for many nights now, expecting each to be the same. Feet scuffed the gravely soil as she walked down that small road, green eyes trained forward. A scorching sun cast heavy rays of heat down on her frame yet vivid green grass surrounded each side of the path.
She was carrying something in between her twined palms. It was sharp and jagged, almost cutting into her skin yet never breaking flesh. The object was thin and smooth and something about caressing it with her calloused hands brought a sense of familiarity and nostalgia. It was always the same, just like this. She was burdened with a crystalline shard, though each time the shard was different. Faces and scenes changed upon each shard, a small sea of color; memories. Though at the center of each memory was the hazy face of someone she knew, a pair of scarlet eyes and oak hair.
That person was usually beside her, walking the same beaten path with a shard in her own hands.
However, tonight as her steps began to slow and then cease, she raised her chin and looked around. It was the first time she'd dared to turn away from the euphoric routine.
There was no one beside her.
Natsuki woke from the strange dream in a fit of silent tears.
Wolf: Ah there…if the events in this chapter seem muddled and disorganized…that's because I'm still trying to figure out where I want to go with this fic. Though it was pretty enjoyable to write.
And if there are such questions, yes I am working to update Play For Me. ;3