Summary: Then it was cold, everything was cold and I realised... I was dying. Sorry Sakura-chan, it won't happen again. Yeah Sasuke, I know I'm an idiot, sorry. ;; Naruto is KIA leaving behind his distraught friends. Follow each chapter as we take a personal look into how his death has affected his comrades such as Sakura, Hinata, Shikamaru, Sai and even Sasuke. Mentions of SasuNaru(main), NaruSaku and NaruHina.
Rated: T+ but M because of swearing and mild sexual themes! w
Warnings: Yaoi/Shonen Ai (SasuNaruSasu to be specific). Violence, swearing, unnerving thoughts (like that of suicide), character death.
Notes: Second chapter! I hope you're reading! ;w;' This is un-beta'd by the way so I am just warning you that there might by some rough patches. I haven't really read over it properly either but when I get the chance I will because there will be mistakes, no doubt! Anyway, this is Naruto's view on his death, kinda sad, beware ;w;
Ages!: Naruto; 17 (After he as defeated Pein and seen his mother and father and all of that. Same applies for Sasuke's development in the manga)
"No Naruto! Don't!" - Spirits talking.
"No Naruto! Don't!" - Living talking.
'No Naruto! Don't!' - Spirits thinking/thoughts.
'No Naruto! Don't!' - Living thinking/thoughts.
Chapter 1; Naruto.
Ugh... Where am I?
Oh that's right...
I died...
Didn't I?
"Unfortunately, yes. You did"
My eyes opened and were greeted by a foggy white light. For a moment I was relieved, I thought I hadn't died and that I was just staring at the white walls of that damned smelly hospital. I expected Tsunade to run in with a typical scowl on her face, scolding me for being careless and telling me that I could have died. Under a little closer inspection though, and when I felt a little more awake, I realised I wasn't even in a room really. It felt more like an endless white chamber. I looked around, my body twisting as I realised I wasn't standing on anything, I was floating! Then sensation was indescribable, like I was lighter then air and I couldn't help but laugh and motion myself forward with flapping arms. I stopped though when I realised I probably looked like an injured duck trying to get out of the pond.
He sighed and spun around again, the fact that I was alone had finally sunk in.
"Hellllooo!" I called out, hands cupped around my mouth in an 'O' shape in order to amplify my voice but that wasn't needed, everything echoed anyway.
"You're still loud"
I jumped and spun around a little to quickly, my lower body floated up some and I only caught the slightest glimpse of the culprit who dared to sneak up on the great Uzumaki Naruto before my pesky knees obscured the view.
"A-Ah!" He breathed out as I tried to straighten my body out and then there was a noise that really irked me. The person was giggling at me!
"Laugh again, bastard! I'll kick your ass!" He grit out, frustrated with a current half upside down, half mangled mess situation.
"Sorry, it's just this place's gravity takes a little time to get used to..." A soft voice soothed and I inwardly cringed, regretting being so rude to a lady. I didn't care if some arrogant asshole male received a proper word lashing from me but it was different with girls. That's what I always thought anyway.
"Ah, sorry! I didn't know you were a girl 'ttebayo!" I apologised as I felt her hands grasp both of my legs and manoeuvre them so they were in the slightly less awkward and more desirable position that resembled a crooked stand.
"It's alright... I know it's hard when to be calm when you just died" She poked but I'm not sure if she meant it to hurt or not. My body stiffened anyway and my head lowered. I didn't want to die yet, I had so much to live for. I wanted to grow up! I wanted to be Hokage damn it! I wanted to be the best, so badly that sometimes it hurt! I just wanted to be something but some how I ended up dying a nothing... I know many people would argue that though. Some of the older folks would reason that I wasn't a nothing, that I was the chosen one. The shinobi of the village would probably praise me as the hero that saved Konoha from Pein but it was empty to me. How is protecting your village or being chosen supposedly randomly making something of yourself?
It wasn't. There were only two ways I would have ever been truely satisfied with myself. If I had become Hokage or if I had brought Sasuke back, mind you I would have never of been Hokage if Sasuke didn't return. No one knew but that was my secret promise to myself. He had to be one of the proud Konoha shinobi that attended my ceremony where I was crowned with the hat! However, that didn't.
Therefore, I died a nothing.
"I'm sorry... I didn't know that the subject would upset you..." She whispered, breaking me from my depressing thoughts. She must have felt guilty because I was suddenly crying. I didn't mean for that to happen... Now I feel like a fucking pansy.
"A-Ah! No, it's alright 'ttebayo!" I reassured as I wiped my eyes and rid myself of the tears. I looked up and grinned, now ready to face the fact that I had passed on but when I saw who I was talking to I froze. My mouth became dry and my body shook with what I expect to be excitement.
"You see surprised to see me... Where did you think I would go?" She giggled. Well no, she didn't giggle really... He did.
"H-Haku!" I pointed with my mouth agape, totally shocked by his presence. I hadn't seen him since I... Well, since he died. I frowned and examined him, he hadn't changed at all, literally. It was like he was frozen in time and it was kind of odd because last time I saw him he was my age now and so now we were on the same par.
"I'm glad that you remember me Naruto-kun..." He smiled. He seemed happier now, I noted.
"How couldn't I?" He laughed softly, grinning back at him. I'm a little happier now too.
"I would like to say it's good to see you but really... Under these circumstances it's not" He looked down a little nervously, like he didn't want to bring the subject up again but I shrugged it off.
"Circumstances-shircumances!" I joked with a grin. If this was it then I would have to learn to shake off my passing. He laughed softly, gently. I cringed a little as I took note of how no matter what, he was attractive. Prettier then Sakura I think I remember saying.
"Sakura-chan..." I whispered, remembering her. I'm pretty sure she called out to me just before I died... Her voice was the last thing I remember which is pretty sucky when you think about it because she was shrieking. I guess that's because she had realised what had happened, I'd shriek too I guess.
"Oh... Yes, she's grown up into a very beautiful woman" Haku mentioned and I looked up, a little bewildered.
"We're spirits Naruto-kun, our bodies may be dead but we're always alive..." He explained. I hated it when people did that because it always meant that I must be gaping like a fucking idiot.
"We're spirits... Okay, then where are we..?" I questioned, now knowing that Haku was here to provide the answers. He shrugged which kind of pissed me off. He's been dead for years for fucks sake, he should know.
"A different realm... Where the dead take peace..?" He suggested but it was phrased as a question, so he really didn't know.
"But... I think my theory is wrong... Because I'm here..." He continued as he looked out into the white world, a thoughtful expression on his face as he contemplated something.
"What's that supposed to mean 'ttebayo?" He grunted as I crossed my arms over my chest, almost losing my balance and going for another weightless ride. He then looked at me with an apologetic look, as if he was sorry for forgetting I was here.
"I'm... I'm not really at peace..." He explained again with a pained expression that made me feel a little guilty for asking.
"Zabuza never followed me here..." He finished with a small whimper as he looked down. I sighed and let my arms fall away with arrogance. I apologised before realising that, which meant I wasn't at peace either. Was I waiting for someone? Or did I have some unfinished business in the other living world? I didn't think so, I had my two ambitions and that was pretty much it...
"You just want to see that you're friends are okay..." Haku once again snapped me from my thoughts. That was kind of annoying; you shouldn't stop a blonde when they're on a good train of thought because it doesn't happen very often. Well, maybe that's not all blondes, just me.
"Excuse me?" I asked, sort of missing the point.
"The reason you're here, not at peace. Your heart is yearning to see if your friends are okay, mainly okay with your death that is..." He smiled which was a relieving expression against his previous depressed one.
"It's easy for you Naruto." He then giggled. Fucking girl.
"But... I'm gone, how do I see them 'ttebayo?" I asked, feeling a little anxious now to see how my friends were. Haku just continued to smile, staying silent and after a few moments that wasn't good enough for me.
"Haku!" I called out, trying to get his attention. But as I awaited to hear the echo of my voice I was instead returned with a familiar flatness. I looked around and then around.
Feet firmly on the ground, eyes not being blinded by a white light, dead girly boy gone and a respectable amount of gravity firmly in place.
I was back in Konoha! I looked around again, my face bright with excitement to see anyone! But the streets were relatively dead and Ichiraku was closed... I gulped and ran down the street, noticing that my foot wasn't making any sort of indent in the slightly loose dirt beneath me. The sky was grey, kind of like it was about to cry.
"Hello! Where the fuck are you all!" I cried out, standing in the street looking desperate but the people just walked past me, taking no notice. Well I suspected that they couldn't see me... I was dead after all. Fucking damn it. It continued like that for a few minutes. Wandering aimlessly, calling out futilely before I came upon it.
Hundreds of people standing in rows, all wearing black like depressed soldiers and every single one had their back facing towards me. I gulped, wondering just what the hell they were facing so I slowly started walking through them, it didn't matter if I accidently knocked them, they stayed firmly in place and I realised some were crying. He began to panic, my heart beating fast and my eyes watering, my feet picked up the pace and I began running as I was suddenly so desperate to get to the front.
When I got there, I didn't like it.
The coffin was already buried, people were now crying louder finally realising that now that he was buried that the person was officially gone. I walked over to the head stone an inspected the name.
My name.
I wasn't shocked but I wasn't pleased either. I turned around and looked back out into the crowd. All the rookie nine were first row as expected. I saw Kiba first, a solem expression, same with Akamaru. I knew Kiba wouldn't cry, he wasn't that much of a pansy but if Akamaru could then I'm sure he would. Choji had tears swelling up but he was sniffing them back desperately. Shikamaru had dark rings under his eyes which were red rimmed. Shino had his glasses on but his mouth didn't tremor. He was never one to cry anyway...
Then I saw Kakashi-sensei, standing all too tally and proudly. I knew that he thought anything less would be disrespectful but he had the same dark ring, red rimmed eyes as Shika. Yamato –taicho was the same but Sai stood impassive. I didn't expect him to cry, it wasn't like him. I didn't want him to anyway... Hope that perverted bastard checked to see if I had a penis so I could finally and proudly may I say so prove him wrong!
Then there was Sakura-chan. Slightly hunched but her clothes were neatly pressed, he beat up headband tied proudly like it should be. Her eyes remained dry and untainted with tears. She would cry later though, I know she would. Just when no one was looking. I absently scanned the rest of the crowd, a dreadful knot tying in my stomach as I realised I had caused so much pain. It hurt me too, did they realise that? I didn't want to die! I wanted to live damn it!
"I wanted to grow up too!" I cried out, triggering a loud crack of thunder and then the down pour of rain. Some people began to ford off then, I understood. I wouldn't want to get wet either. The rookies remained though which wasn't a good idea. I began to curse every single one of them, like I was blaming them for my death.
Mostly Sakura-chan though. I got up in her face, desperately wanting some sort of reaction.
"Why did you have to be a fucking whiney bitch and yell out when you got hurt! Huh! What the fuck were you thinking taking that guy on in the first place! Sakura! Why didn't you save me! You're meant to be the great apprentice of legendary healing Sanin! Why the fuck couldn't you heal a stab wound! Sakura-chan!" And I began crying, my tears blending perfectly with the rain.
"I wanted to live!" I yelled out, my voice finally deciding to echo but it did nothing, now my tears had turned into sobs and I couldn't face my old team mate anymore. I turned and walked over to my freshly dug grave, falling to my knees as I did so. Then I just cried. I couldn't help it. I just wanted to live and now that was impossible.
"I'm sorry..." I heard her apologise. I turned and saw her. Pink hair saturated so it was slightly longer and darker then it should be and this time her eyes were red.
I told you she would cry.
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