Booth had almost instantly regretted his decision to let Jamie stay at his apartment, but he understood the unwritten military code: nobody gets left behind, and nobody gets turned away. An Army buddy asking for a place to stay would get to stay as long as he needed, even if it was an irritation.
Booth and Jamie sat in the living room of Booth's apartment enjoying a freshly baked frozen pizza while the television played a hockey game in the background. "Sorry about the lack of fine cuisine, Jamie, but we do have plenty of fine Canadian beer."
"No problem, Booth. I appreciate it. Beats MREs any day." Jamie took a drink of beer and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Nice place you got here. I guess the FBI's been good for you."
"Thanks. Yeah...can't complain about the FBI too much. Not a bad gig to get right out of the Army." Booth leaned back in his chair, eying Jamie suspiciously. " Okay….the truth. Why didn't you make sergeant?"
Jamie laughed, picking at his pizza. "I told our new Second Louie to eat shit and die, and he took exception to that for some reason. Kinda puts a damper on promotion, you know? I was able to stay in the Army because I've had computer training but I'm stuck at corporal for the duration. I'm getting out in six months."
"Are you AWOL?"
"Of course not. I'm on leave and wanted to see DC. Not much to look at in Lawton, Oklahoma, and I got no more family. I decided to come see my best old Army buddy Booth so I can check out the area." Jamie grinned slyly. "Speaking of checking it out...What I really want to talk about is your lady doctor partner. I never saw a doctor look so good. Damn, I'd like her to play Doctor with me….." He took another drink of beer. "Man, she's gorgeous, Booth. I mean, God...those big blue eyes...that beautiful face...that porcelain skin." Jamie sighed and cupped his hands in front of his chest. "And those nice boobs….and I bet she's got a cute little ass on top of those mile long legs, right, Booth?"
Booth did know that Bones had a cute ass, but he was definitely not going to tell Jamie that, especially since that would've indicated that he'd been looking. "Can it, Jamie. I don't want you to talk about my partner that way. She's a well respected scientist and best-selling author. Be a gentleman, okay?"
"Well respected, huh? So do you think she'd be up for a night on the town with yours truly? That is, if she's not really your girlfriend…..don't wanna step on your toes."
Booth's mind was scrambling, trying to think of a way to discourage Jamie without appearing to be a jealous lover. "She's not my girlfriend. You'll just have to ask her if she wants to go out with you. I will tell you that she's not really too much of a party animal. She's a genius, you know? So normal conversations can be really difficult with her. She uses lots of big, weird words, she'll spout off lots of obscure facts, and she's a know-it-all. She doesn't know anything about sports or movies, or normal stuff. All she talks about is dead bodies and bones and crap like that. It can make for a really boring conversation. She's actually no fun at all."
Jamie grinned and lifted an eyebrow. "If I have my way, we may not be conversing a lot. I can think of a lot of activities we can indulge in where we don't have to say a word….lots and lots of activities….activities that might last all night long…." He sighed happily thinking of the prospect. "And then after we go at it like horny animals, maybe I can get an autograph." Jamie chuckled as he thought about asking Dr. Brennan to sign a book for him after several go rounds in bed.
"Jamie…" Booth gave him a warning glance, which was ignored.
"Give me her number, and I'll call her to see if she's interested. Seriously, Seeley, I can't believe you're not plowing that field. Did Father Aldo put you on the fast track for celibacy and the priesthood? Man, if I had a chance to see her everyday at work, I'd already be in those pants…."
Booth had reached the boiling point. This had to stop. "Enough, Jamie. Bones is my partner, nothing more. And you need to be respectful, remember?"
Jamie chuckled again. "You call her Bones….Is that because you wanna jump her bones? Come on...I know you must think about that….not that I'd blame you. That body is something else…" He saw the warning glare on Booth's face this time. "Okay, okay. Be respectful. Got it." Stretching, Jamie yawned loudly. "I'm beat. I'm gonna get ready to hit the hay, alright?"
Booth nodded. "Sure. Here's the stuff for the couch and some towels. Make yourself at home. I'll talk to you in the morning."
Booth lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to sleep. He knew Jamie was right….he had thought a lot about Bones being beautiful, and it made him uncomfortable that someone might suspect how he felt about her. It also annoyed him to no end that Jamie wanted to go out with Bones just to have sex with her. Booth knew what he had to do. He had to rid himself of that jackass, and soon.