A/N: This chapter may not seem as good as the first, but it is more of a filler, I guess. I have quite a few good ideas for this story, but I can't have them happen so soon… So yeah. By the way, I don't really have a specific time I am going to update this. I'm going to try and post once a week, but it might vary. I can't imagine me posting too often because I have a lot of exams coming up, including 4 in March, damn. Oh, and random note, do you like the cover? I'm that committed I drew it myself, hehe x)

Disclaimer: Obviously, I'm not J.K Rowling. That sums it all up, doesn't it?

Enjoy! The chapter itself is about 3,000 words, yay!

The absence of Dumbledore at the first feast of the year was one that everyone knew would be hard to adjust to, even the Slytherins. Professor Mogonagal took his place as Headmistress, which seemed fair to most. Naturally, Snape wasn't here this year, so Slughorn took the place of Potions Master instead again, while Lupin decided to come back to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts again. There were still many first years that had joined, but the numbers had decreased slightly compared to previous years. Draco did not pay attention to any of the house placements even though he was a prefect. Oh well. I could always find out their names later. He thought to himself. The new headmistress finished her speech and the usual warnings, including a small goodbye to Dumbledore. Surprisingly, she sounded quite like him when she announced for the feast to begin like he did. Like usual, there was a collection of gasps from all of the first years who obviously didn't realise just how large the feasts at Hogwarts are. Everyone in the hall tucked in greedily, except from Draco, who just sighed deeply and put his head deeper into his hand. He didn't show any interest of eating the food before him.

"Draco? Why aren't you eating?" Pansy asked him in a concerned tone.

"I'm not hungry." He replied to her simply.

"Come on, Malfoy! You're becoming a scrawny thing, you're gonna lose those Quidditch muscles before you know it!" Crabbe exclaimed with a chuckle. Goyle joined in with his laughter. Pansy, however, shot them both a glare so cold that it wouldn't even be expected by a Slytherin.

"Don't listen to him Draco. You don't have to eat if you don't want to."

She was actually a bit worried about how much weight he had been losing, but decided it would be best not to comment, especially in a place as crowded as the Great Hall.

"Thanks… I think I might just go get some air. Don't worry, I'll only be about five minutes, I'll be back for the first years, I'm not leaving you to have to deal with them on your own." Draco said, managing a weak smile at her.

"Alright, see you soon." She's go with him, but she knows when Draco just wants a little time alone, and this was one of those times.

He headed out into the corridor, turned into the next one so he wouldn't be heard and looked behind him to see if anyone was there. Thankfully, he wasn't, and all the emotions he had been keeping bottled up just burst out of him. He slid down a wall behind him so his was crouched at the bottom, buried his head onto his lap and allowed a couple of the fought back tears to fall down his pale cheeks. Weasley's words had actually gotten to him a lot, even though what he said were lies. It was just a wake-up call for him, that he IS a death eater, and he is not just connected to his father now, but also the Dark Lord. He saw another Lucius in Draco, a son who will grow up to be just like his father and serve as one of the most upper death eaters of all time. Of course, Draco did not wish to be like his father at all, he just wanted to be himself, but did he have a choice? Was he just going to have to be like him in the end, either become like him or die? He was sure of the answer, and it terrified him to no end.

He got up a few minutes later, hearing that the first years were being told to follow the prefects to the dormitories. He wiped his tears away and headed back to the hall, where he met up with Pansy. She looked into his grey eyes and noticed straightaway he had been crying, but she knew him well enough now that he wouldn't want to talk about it just yet, or maybe even not at all. She simply nodded at him to show her understanding, and then beckoned the Slytherin first years to come along to them.

"Alright everyone, I am Pansy Parkingson and this is Draco Malfoy-" She was interrupted by lots of excitable whispers about Draco being a Malfoy. He raised a hand to shush them and nodded at her to carry on.

"As I was saying… We are the Slytherin prefects, so if you would please follow us to the dormitories. And DON'T wander off, unless you want to miss out on what the password is!" She continued with a grin. They all nodded at her, still staring at Draco. He sighed at the looks of the young Slytherins.

"Enough with the stares, let's go." He said quietly, but loud enough for them all to hear.

They travelled up the moving staircases, with all of the children pointing at the different paintings hung up on the walls. Draco actually smiled slightly at this; he remembered his astonishment at the amazing pieces of art which blesses Hogwarts. The short-lasting smile soon faded away though when he saw a certain ginger Gryffindor glaring over at him from another staircase, with a lack of Potter and Granger, he noticed, even though he could hear their shouts to the first year Gryffindors not very far away. Pansy squeezed his arm slightly to distract him.

"Just ignore him, he is just being immature." Pansy whispered to him. He nodded in agreement.

"Alright, here we are, first years! The password is Anguis, do NOT forget it, otherwise you won't be able to get in! Make a note of it if you have to, just don't forget it!" Pansy said to everyone. She had enough problems with that last year, she wasn't going to let it happen again.

"Why isn't HE saying anything?" A little red haired girl said, smirking.

"Yeah, I was thinking he'd be boasting constantly and being really loud, being a Malfoy and all. Thought he'd be out with his father helping you-know-who, actually." A brunette boy said in a cocky tone. Draco sighed at this. What a common stereotype, him actually wanting to be a death eater and helping the Dark Lord.

"Well, you are quite far off me, aren't you…"

"Dickens. Matthew Dickens." He smirked.

"Right, Dickens, you shouldn't judge people you don't even know. Just because my last name is Malfoy does NOT mean I am like Lucius Malfoy. Understand?"

The little Slytherin gulped and nodded. Clearly, he had a big mouth of his own, but couldn't take it when other people put him in his place. It reminded Draco of himself when he was in the first couple of years, actually, because as his father didn't beat him as badly then (though it was still very painful), he had a little cockiness and perhaps even a little confidence when arguing with Potter. Naturally, now, all that cockiness and confidence ceased to exist in Draco. Kind of understandable, having a father who hits you just for looking at him in a way he doesn't like. He thought to himself, making him shudder at the memory back in his fourth year, when he was pretending he found Potter in the Tri Wizard Tournament amusing. Lucius said something cruel about how if that didn't stop him, it looks like someone else would. That stopped Draco's acting in his tracks, and he glared for a second at his father. He looked away straightaway, but he wasn't quite quick enough. That taught him never to underestimate his father's temper again, as that night had given him a couple of new scars to his large collection.

"Anyway, I better give you directions to the dormitories. As you know, this is the common room. Big, huh? If you look over there, you'll see three sets of stairs. The one to the left leads upstairs to the male bathroom and dormitories, while the one to the right leads to the girls'. Any questions?" Pansy says.

"What's up the middle staircase?" A raven-haired girl asks.

"That, my friend, is somewhere you can't go. Up there is the sixth, seventh and eighth year rooms, along with the prefects' rooms and the bathrooms."

"Why can't we have our own rooms?" A couple of them whine.

"Because… You can't. Older pupils only, sorry." Pansy smirked.

"But… That's not fair!" Matthew cries.

"Yes, it is. We had to share a dormitory too, without complaining. Quit moaning." Draco muttered, just about loud enough for him to hear.

"Alright…" He sulked. He no longer reminded Draco of his younger self. Draco NEVER whines. Perhaps that is the only thing he took from his father, excluding the well-known platinum blonde hair.

Pansy and Draco found themselves that night in Draco's room. They decided to have a bit of a chat just before bed, considering they hadn't seen each all summer and hadn't yet had a proper moment to themselves properly. Pansy had a plan to try and get Draco to spill some of the secrets he was keeping to himself, though she hadn't actually thought how she was exactly going to do this. Draco was a very secretive person, and he rarely opened up to her, or anyone for that matter. Just go along with it, see how it goes. She thought.

"So… How did your holidays go, Pansy?" He said with a smile. Pansy couldn't help but feel so proud of how he managed to cope with everything just for her.

"They were great thanks! We were travelling round America for most of them, it was so much fun! I think New York had has to be my favourite… The shops were just so amazing!" She said enthusiastically. He nodded at her.

"So I've heard. Muggles are known to make nice clothing." He smirked, almost looking like the Draco he was back in first year.

"Aye, they are! I got a massive bunch of gorgeous items that I must show you at Christmas!" How were your holidays, anyway?" She said happily. Only a second to think and a cold glare from Draco made her realise just what she asked. Shit!

"…Worse than usual. Much worse. Unless your idea of fun is being dragged off to do deeds for the Dark Lord and being beaten shitless for not killing your own headmaster." He said angrily. But then he realised… What HE just said. No, no, NO! I shouldn't have done that… He is going to kill me… Fuck, why did I let that slip out, WHY?! I'm such an idiot… He rambled silently to himself. Pansy looked at him, shocked, but not as much as he thought she'd be.

"I knew it… Why didn't you tell me, Draco?" She said quietly.

"How… How did you know? Is it obvious?" He panicked.

"No, not to anyone else, anyway. But I'm your best friend… And I know how you wince when anyone touches you, and I see the way Lucius looks at you." She says gently.

"He… I… No one can know! I'm fucked, Pansy, I really am!" He cried in a panic.

"Draco, we need to tell someone… You ca-"

"NO. No one can know, Pansy! He… He'll do it even worse next time, I'm telling you. Even YOU shouldn't know! He's been doing it all my life, and I have never been able to tell ANYONE!"

"Draco, calm down! I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to… I am just worried about you, Draco!" She looked at him with a mixture of concern and sadness. Never sympathy: That is one thing she knew he would never want.

"I know, I'm sorry… I'm just… Scared." He whispered. She brought him into a hug.

"Draco… How bad was it? You have never been this scared before…"

"…Very. I don't want to talk about it."

"I understand. Just remember I'm here for you, okay Draco?"

"I know… Thank you Pansy. But…"

"But what?" She says in a more concerned tone.

"The beatings now for me not wanting to be a death eater are bad enough… But what if he finds out I'm gay?" He whispered.

"…I don't know. We'll figure something out, okay?"

He simply nods and buries his head into her shoulder, finally letting the tears go. She wraps her arms a little more around him, careful not to hurt his concealed pain. She rocked him gently like one would a child, which Draco found soothing. Naturally, as Lucius was a psycho and Narcissa never cared for the beatings Draco got, he has never had any comfort like that before. They stay like that for several minutes before Draco pulls away.

"Thanks for being such a good friend, Pansy. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here…" He says with a genuine smile.

"It's no problem at all, Draco. I will always be here for you, no matter what happens."

He smiles then looks at the time.

"I have potions first thing tomorrow, so I need my sleep. Would you mind if I go to bed, Pansy?" He yawned.

"Not at all." She smiles.

She made her way over to the wooden, deep green door, opened it and turned back around.

"Goodnight, Draco."

But the Slytherin was already asleep. Probably doesn't get any sleep at that wretched Manor. She thought angrily to herself. She sighs, and then closes the door quietly in order not to wake him.

"Come, Draco... It is time."

No, no, no… Not this dream. Or, memory, to be precise. It was as equally as bad as the one in the Dark Mark room.

"B-but father, I-"

"LOOK! You are a Malfoy, Draco! You WILL be serving the Dark Lord, it is what we do! Understand?!" He said with a whack of his cane across the back of Draco's neck, making him yelp out in pain.

"Y-yes, father, I-I understand…"

"Quit with that stuttering, you are the son of Lucius Malfoy for God's sake!" He snarled, and slaps him hard across the face.

"Yes father."

"Good. Alright, let's go, I'll apparate us there."

They stood in the graveyard of the Riddle family. All of the death eaters, besides Lucius and Narcissa naturally, stood in a circle around the Malfoy Family, with Voldemort in front of them.

"So nice of you to join us in this fine evening, Draco." The Dark Lord said with a smirk.

Lucius nudges him forward roughly with his cane.

"Are you ready to join me and your father, and become a death eater?"

Draco said nothing. He didn't have any clue what to say. He had never been more frightened in his life. He obviously didn't want to join them, but he didn't want to die, not like this.

"Well?" Voldemort says, starting to get angry.

"Y-yes, alright." Draco says quietly. Voldemort laughs at this.

"Ha, not exactly a fierce one yet, is he Lucius? Don't worry, that'll change!" He reaches out suddenly and grabs Draco's left arm roughly. He grips his wand, pointing it at the pale skin. The pain of the Mark being carved into his arm was unbearable. He screamed and fought back tears. Voldemort laughs and grins wickedly at this. He knew that Draco didn't want to be doing this, and thought that he will have some fun.

"You're one of us now, Draco Malfoy. You are now a death eater."

Draco screams and awakens from his nightmare. He is shaking all over and is covered in sweat. He looks at the time, which read 3:13. He sighed, too scared of his own past to fall back asleep. He carefully lifts up his left sleeve, revealing the Mark stained on his skin, filling him with a hatred he only felt for the Dark Lord, and his father.

He sat up and throws the green sheets off him, moving his legs so that they hang down from the bed. He slouches over and places his head into his trembling hands. He breathed slowly, trying to erase his mind from the terrifying memory. He started to calm down, but then the fireplace from the other side of the room started to flicker a green flame. Curious, as it isn't connected to the Fluu network, he got up and slowly made his way over to it. When he got nearer, it suddenly let out a huge emerald flame that shot upwards before going back down, without leaving any ash or trace whatsoever. The only thing that was left was a piece of paper left in its place, with writing on which Draco recognised as his father's. He gulped and reached out his left shaking hand to pick it up. He held it in front of him and began to read the green ink.

Draco,

As I have been disappointed with your lack of contribution as a death eater, I have asked the Lord to give you another task, as he believes you did well with killing Dumbledore, though of course you were too weak to do that, weren't you?

He is still thinking of a task for you, and it will be difficult, to say the least. It will only be yours to do, Draco, so I would do this properly, if I were you. If you fail the task you are given, then I will deal with you before the Lord can, understand? I would prepare for it my boy, as it will definitely be before Christmas.

Have a nice time at school, while you can.

Lucius.

His shaking hands gave way and the letter fell to the floor. He fell to the floor and wept. Why couldn't he just be like any other wizard his age? Was a normal life just too much to ask for? He knew the task, whatever it would turn out to be, would be just as bad as his task to kill Dumbledore, perhaps even worse. He didn't know what to do, he never knew what to do. Apart from Pansy, whom he didn't want to get into any harm, he had no one to tell or anyone who could help him, or even care for him.

I will never belong.