My Best Girl
-Brooklyn, Fall 1935-
Bucky sat beside Steve in the dark theater. It was empty except for a few other couples who were there for the same reason they were. Bucky wished that they could risk going at it like the guy and girl three rows ahead, but he settled for holding Steve's hand. Steve had been busy lately with school and Bucky's job had kept him from seeing Steve as much as he would like. It was nice just to have some time together.
"How's school?" Bucky asked.
"Eh, you know," Steve said wearily. "It's a lot of work right now." He squeezed Bucky's hand.
"You know art school is going to be a lot of work too," Bucky reminded him.
"Well it'll keep me busy while you're at your job," Steve said, a hint of bitterness in his voice.
"Yeah, I guess I haven't been around much either," Bucky admitted.
He had been working at a factory since graduation. The pay was bad and the hours were terrible, but it was all he could find. Lately, he had picked up a few extra shifts here and there to try and put some money away. He wanted to move out of his parents place eventually and he needed to save up as much as he could before he did that. So far he had managed to put away a fair amount, but the extra shifts didn't leave him a lot of time. The couple in front of them stood up. Bucky released Steve's hand, waiting for them to pass.
"I know I sound upset," Steve said. "But I just miss you."
"I know," Bucky said, taking Steve's hand again. "I'm trying to find something that pays better, but I'm lucky to have a job at all right now."
Steve nodded.
"Things'll pick up," Bucky promised. It would get better, it had to.
The movie ended and Bucky released Steve's hand as the lights came up.
"I think I have enough money for a rootbeer float," he said.
Steve thought for a moment. "I'd rather have coffee, and maybe a slice of pie. I need to study for a test later."
Bucky took his money out to count.
"If you're trying to save money, I can pay," Steve offered.
"It's a date. I'll pay," Bucky insisted.
"You paid for the movie," Steve reminded him firmly.
"Yeah, but-"
Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him into the restroom. There was a man at the urinal. Steve turned on the faucet to wash his hands, waiting until the man was gone. He left it running to muffle their conversation and turned to Bucky.
"Why do you have to be so stubborn about paying for me?" he demanded in a hushed voice.
"It's a date," Bucky argued. "If I take you out, I'm gonna pay. That's just how it works. That's how it's always worked."
"And who says I'm not taking you out?" Steve contended.
Bucky sighed. They had been having this argument for months now and neither one of them was any closer to giving in. One of the unexpected challenges to dating Steve was that there were no defined roles. With girls, Bucky would pay, he would open doors, pull out chairs, and everything else that went with it. With Steve, many of those things were out of the question, but the issue of paying had been a sticking point for both of them.
"Why do you always have to ruin a nice time with this nonsense?" Bucky asked.
Steve huffed and left the restroom. Bucky followed a few steps behind.
"Ok, how about first one to the diner picks up the tab?" Bucky suggested.
Steve glared at him and hurried out of the theater. Bucky followed, letting Steve gain a comfortable lead. The diner was far enough away that Steve would probably cool off by the time they got there. Suddenly Steve stopped, leaning against the lamp post. Concerned, Bucky jogged to catch up to him.
"Steve?" he asked.
"I'm ok," Steve wheezed. "I just need to catch my breath." His breathing sounded labored.
Bucky looked around for the nearest place where they could sit and get something to drink. He spotted a cafe two doors down and led Steve inside.
"Hey, can I get a glass of water?" he called to a waiter. He pulled out a chair for Steve to sit down. The waiter brought the water and Steve took a slow sip.
"And what else for you sir?"
Bucky looked at the menu and nearly fainted. He would have to pick the priciest place on the block. He considered leaving, but Steve needed to catch his breath. Cringing he looked for the cheapest item on the menu.
"Two cups of coffee," he said. The waiter gave him a disdainful nod and left.
Bucky ignored him and turned his attention back to Steve. He rubbed Steve's back, watching helplessly as Steve struggled to breathe normally. It has been a while since he had seen Steve have an asthma attack and he had forgotten how frightening even a mild one could be.
The waiter brought the coffee. Steve reached for the cup and drank slowly. After a few minutes his breathing began to ease slightly. He finished his cup and leaned back in his chair, trying to breath deeply. Bucky slid his cup over to Steve and took another look at the price on the menu. He might just have to swallow his pride and let Steve win the argument this time. Steve was already under enough pressure with school. Bucky being a jerk about who was going to pick up the tab had just added to it.
"Better?" he asked. Steve nodded, his breathing was still raspy, but not quite as bad as before.
"I think the coffee helps," he said breathlessly.
"Sorry I ruined the afternoon," Bucky said.
"We both kind of ruined it," Steve conceded. "If you want to pick up the tab, you can."
"I'll let you take this one," Bucky said.
Steve smiled and then looked at the menu. "You want to split it?"
"Sure, you pay for the two you had and I'll pay for mine," Bucky said with a grin.
Steve sighed and sipped his coffee. "Jerk."
Bucky laughed. "Punk."
Steve hurried out of school as the test ended. Senior year was more work than he thought it was going to be, but his mother had insisted that he finish his education if he wanted to attend art school in the fall. He would be fine if he could just make it through chemistry.
Steve came around the corner to see Bucky talking to a girl.
"Steve!" Bucky called. The girl wave goodbye and skipped away down the street.
"Who was that?" Steve asked. The way she had been batting her eyes at Bucky irritated him a bit.
"I used to tutor her in math, she was just saying hi," Bucky explained.
"Were you waiting for me?" Steve asked.
Bucky grinned. "Yeah, I thought I'd surprise you and take you to the museum."
"The museum?"
"Yeah, if you're going to art school, let's go look at some art."
Steve looked at him skeptically.
"Ok, I feel bad about the other week," Bucky confessed. "The museum is free so we don't have to fight over who pays."
Steve chuckled. "Sounds swell, I just need to drop off my things at home."
Bucky insisted on carrying his books as they walked home. Steve was in such a good mood that he allowed it. Bucky's idea of the art museum was perfect. There would be no silly argument or hurt feelings, just a quiet afternoon together.
"So what do you want to see first?" Steve asked him. Bucky didn't reply. He seemed preoccupied with something. Steve punched him in the shoulder.
Caught off guard, Bucky stumbled and almost dropped Steve's books. "What was that for?"
Steve scowled. "You were ignoring me!"
"Sorry, I'm just tired from work," Bucky said with a weary smile.
"Do you want to do this another time?" Steve asked. He wanted to see Bucky, but not if Bucky was too exhausted to enjoy it. "You know my mom has to work Saturday night. Maybe you could come over."
Bucky rubbed his neck. "I can't Saturday."
"What? Why not?" Steve asked. Bucky was never busy on Saturday. It was usually one of the few days he had free anymore.
Bucky avoided Steve's eyes. "I have a date."
"What do you mean you have a date?" Steve demanded in a hushed voice.
"My mom made me ask out a girl from church," Bucky explained. "I haven't taken a girl out since we started this and she was getting worried. She's been on me about it for months. I was able to put her off saying that I was trying to save money, but she gave me $5. I couldn't tell her no."
"Fine, have fun," Steve grumbled.
"Are you ok with this?" Bucky asked.
"It's fine," Steve said bitterly. "I'm still busy with school, date anyone you want, I hope she's nice,"
Bucky stopped him. "Steve, think about it for a second. If we stop dating girls it'll look suspicious."
"You're absolutely right," Steve agreed coolly. "Have fun on your date, Jerk."
"Well at least she'll let me pay, Punk." Bucky muttered.
Steve grabbed his books and stalked up the stairs to his apartment. He didn't want to look at Bucky right now.
"Wait, what about the museum?" Bucky called.
"Take your girlfriend!" Steve yelled, slamming the door behind him.
Bucky ran up the stairs after Steve. He had locked the door, but Bucky knew where the spare key was hidden. He kicked over the brick and opened the door.
"Steve?" he called. He glanced around to see if Mrs. Rogers was home. It looked empty. He went to Steve's room and knocked on the door.
"Steve?" There was no answer. "Steve, come on, talk to me. I'm sorry about all this, but ignoring me isn't going to change anything."
Steve opened the door and pushed past him without a word. He went to the kitchen and poured a glass of milk. Bucky stood by the doorway.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "My mom just wouldn't let up. She practically dialed the phone for me."
"It's fine," Steve tersely.
Bucky sighed. "It's not or you wouldn't be acting like this."
"It's fine," Steve repeated. "If you don't want to do this anymore, I get it."
Bucky heaved an exasperate sigh. "That's not what I meant!" he insisted.
"So what is it, then?" Steve asked. "What do the girls have that I don't?"
"Steve, It's not like that!" Bucky ran a hand through his hair. He had been hoping to talk about this later after the museum, but Steve had pressed the issue. He knew how this was going to sound and he wanted to do something to let Steve know he still cared before he brought it up. This had been on his mind for weeks. He owed it to Steve to be honest, but the little twit wasn't giving him a chance to explain.
"Then what is it like?" Steve demanded.
"I don't know!" Bucky snapped. He was trying to be fair here but he had had about enough of Steve's attitude. "I don't know what I'm doing here, Steve! I like you, but you're the only guy I find attractive and I don't know why the hell that is! And if I like you, why do I still feel all fluttery every time the girl at the deli smiles at me? I'm 18 Steve, I don't know what the hell I'm doing here but I need to figure it out before this goes too far!"
Bucky looked at Steve, his hands trembling. Since he had decided to make a move on Steve, he had tried to push past his doubts, but he couldn't ignore this any longer. He took a breath and continued in a calmer tone.
"So I'm going to go on a date with this girl. I'm probably going to kiss her and if she lets me, I'll try to slip a hand up her skirt. And then I'm going to come back and tell you about it because you're still my best friend."
Steve looked at him. "Well then I'm going to get a date for Saturday too," he grumbled.
"That's a great idea," Bucky forced himself to say. He said down and tapped his fingers on the table. "In the meantime do you still want to go to the museum?"
Steve looked at Bucky, sipping his milk.
"Well?" Bucky pressed.
"I'm thinking," Steve muttered.
Bucky leaned in giving Steve his most charming smile. "I'll let you buy me a soda afterwards," he promised. "I'll let you buy me anything you want and I won't complain at all."
Steve looked at him over the edge of the glass. He finished his milk and stood up. "Well let's go then."
Bucky threw an arm around him. "Whatever happens, you're still my best friend, right?"
Steve shoved him away, but he had a playful smile on his face. "Come on, Jerk, let's go before the place closes."
Saturday night, Steve sat at home sketching the cat that kept walking along the fire escape. He had been unable find a date. Even Hazel from English class with the buck teeth had turned him down. His mother had made a pie to cheer him up, but he didn't have much of an appetite. His fight with Bucky had been weighing on his mind the last few days. All he could think about was Bucky sitting at the movies, holding the girl's hand, dancing with her and doing all of the things he couldn't. He wondered if Bucky was enjoying it.
Sometime he hated feeling the way he did. Everything with Bucky was so complicated. He had gotten used to being careful, but it was exhausting. Sometimes he just wanted to forget the whole thing and go back to dating girls. It would be easier, but he couldn't ignore the way he felt about Bucky.
He had been shocked when Bucky had kissed him, and even more surprised to realize that he liked it. No one had ever made him feel like that before. The way Bucky looked at him, like he was the best guy he could ever have, the way he came over at 10 o'clock on a Friday night after a double shift and struggled to stay awake just so they could spend a few hours alone, Steve had never found that with anyone. No one had ever wanted him before. For a brief moment, everything had seemed perfect.
Their fight had brought him crashing back to reality. Bucky was right. If they stopped dating girls, it would raise a few eyebrows. The reality of dating Bucky was that it would always be a secret. He had thought he could accept that until Bucky's said he wanted to keep dating girls. It had been Bucky's confidence that had pulled Steve through the early weeks of fear and uncertainty. If Bucky was having second thoughts, Steve wasn't sure what to think any more.
There was a knock at the door. Steve put down his sketch pad and went to answer it. Bucky stood there, still dressed up from his date. His smile made Steve's stomach feel fluttery. For a moment Steve forgot that he had probably been kissing someone else an hour ago.
"Can I come in?" he asked
Steve shrugged and opened the door. "Do you want some pie?"
"Yeah, that sound good," Bucky said.
Steve cut two slices and they sat down at the table. It almost felt like a date. Bucky reached across the table to take Steve's hand.
"Are you still mad at me?" Bucky asked.
Steve shook his head, chewing a mouthful of pie. "It's just, I thought everything was fine. What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing," Bucky said, squeezing his hand tightly. "It's not you."
"What is it then?" Steve asked gently. The anguished look on Bucky's face made his heart ache. He had been too wrapped up in their romantic problems to see that Bucky needed him as a friend right now.
"I'm scare Steve," Bucky confessed, scraping a small bite of pie off his plate. "I'm scared that I'm making a mistake and I'm scared that if this all goes wrong I'm going to lose you."
Steve swallowed. "I want you to date, Bucky."
Bucky looked up. "You do?"
"What you said earlier, I thought about it. If you're going to chose me I need you to be sure. So date every girl in Brooklyn if you have to, but if you settle on me, I want you to be sure."
Bucky leaned over the table and kissed him. "You're what I want, but I still kind of want the girls too. It doesn't make any sense and I need to workout why I still get hot under the collar for the pretty dame at the candy store when I can't keep my mind off kissing you."
Steve nodded. "If this is what you need to do, do it. I will too. You need to tell me about them though. Don't go sneaking around on me. I'm still your best friend and that's not going to change."
Bucky smiled at him. "Thanks." He kissed Steve softly, and turned his attention back to his pie. "So there's this dame from the diner near work I might ask out."
Steve leaned over to punch him in the arm. "Don't talk about girls when you're kissing me goofus!"
Bucky laughed. Steve was relieved to see the sparkle back in his eye.
"So how was it? Think you'll see her again?"
Bucky shook his head. "Not in this lifetime! And that's the last time I date a girl my mom finds at church! She wouldn't even hold my hand and kept talking about God all night. Give me a sinner over a saint any day!"
Steve breathed a sigh of relief. One day a girl might supplant him, but it wasn't going to be tonight. He took the empty plates to the sink.
Bucky followed, put his arms around Steve and kissing his neck. Steve turned and pulled Bucky to him. Bucky leaned against him, his weight pinning Steve against the counter. Being pressed against Bucky like this was comfortable, but he felt something pressing into his thigh. He shifted his leg and Bucky moaned. Suddenly it dawned on Steve what he was feeling. Bucky put a hand on Steve's chest, deft fingers working at the top button. Steve twisted away knocking Bucky onto the floor.
"Too much?" Bucky asked.
"Depends what you had in mind," Steve said his heart racing.
Bucky smiled. He stood up and turned on the radio. "Forget it. Let's just dance. That girl didn't know a foxtrot from a waltz."
They fumbled over who would lead for a minute but Bucky finally won out.
Steve put his hand on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky put his hand on the small of Steve's back. They danced in silence for a moment.
"We really need to settle this dating thing," Steve said, as Bucky lifted his arm for a turn.
"I thought we just talked about it!"
"No, us," Steve clarified. "You're still dating me. We need to figure out who's paying."
The song ended and Steve took the lead for the next one.
"Hey, what if we just do what we do when we dance and switch off," Bucky suggested.
"And you'd be ok with that?" Steve asked. Bucky had been the most insistent about footing the bill.
He grinned. "Well if I'm dating you and half the girls in Brooklyn I'm going to go broke if I don't let you buy me a cup of coffee once in awhile."
"It's a date," Steve said, pulling Bucky in closer.
"So we're not going steady, but you're still my best girl, right?" Bucky asked. Steve cocked an eyebrow. "Best guy?"
"Let's worry about that later," Steve said. He reached up and put a hand on Bucky's cheek, standing on his tiptoes for a kiss as the music played on.
"Let me call you sweetheart, I'm in love with you,
Let me hear you whisper, that you love me too.
Keep the love light glowing in your eyes so blue
Let me call you sweetheart, I'm in love with you."
-End-
A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a review and let me know what you think about the story so far!