A/N: I know, it's been a long time. I'm really sorry … hope you enjoy

By the way, I don't own Castle, but I'm pretty sure you all knew that …

"C'mon, c'mon Trauma 1 is ready!"

A door slamming. Wheels turning madly.

"Ok, what do we got?"

The gurney stopping abruptly.

"On my count one, two, three."

Ouch!

"Male, late thirties, GSW to the right lateral chest, no exit wound"

Blabbering.

"Spontaneous resps, satting at 96. BP is at 100 palp after one liter."

More blabbering.

"Ok, type and cross?"

Type and-

"There's no time, he's bleeding out!"

I'm what?

"Ok, call the blood bank, we need four more units of O-neg."

No.

"Starting a central line."

Oh no.

"Chest tube?"

What the hell-

"Two at least."

Two?

"Ok, Betadine and Steri-Drape, please …" Puncture. "Fifth intercostal space …" Pressure. "Feeling the pleura …" More pressure. " Check it please."

Something round and cold.

"You're in"

Breathing.

"Perfect. 0 silk and Xeroform."

A swishing sound.

"He's got four centimeters in the Thora-Seal."

Meaning?

"Hemo-Cue is at 8."

Beeping.

"Where the hell's that bullet!"

Bullet …

"Isn't it embedded in the scapula?"

The shooting …

"No, it just nicked it … Call Radiology."

Kate!

"BP's down to 60 palp."

Beeping …

"Hanging another unit."

And …

"He needs two packs of frozen platelets."

Beeping …

"We need to intubate!"

"Ok, sux and Etomidate, please … and 8-0 tube … I'm in, bag him."

"End tidal is yellow."

"Can we get him in a OR?"

"Garrett's already scrubbed in."

"Where's Radiology?"

"They'll meet us upstairs."

"Ok, pressure's up to 90 systolic, let's go."

…

Castle had been in the ER for a total of five minutes, when Kate (who was pacing back and forth in front of the gray door leading to Trauma Rooms) heard the unmistakable sound of rapidly incoming sabots and high heels. She turned around and saw Alexis, still in her light blue scrubs, no jacket on, hair tied back in a bouncing French braid, slamming her hands on the triage desk and anxiously asking the nurse about her dad.

Martha was firmly heading towards her instead, with a cold, unfamiliar expression shadowing her fine features. Kate braced herself relive her afternoon and composed her face in a tentative smile.

"Hey Martha …" she whispered, placing a hand on the other woman's arm; it was meant to be a comforting gesture, of course. Still, the other woman didn't seem to perceive it as such and reacted like she'd been burnt. Common enough, Beckett thought, slipping immediately into her calm, collected Detective mode.

"Everything is gonna be alright …"

"Alright?" Usually a voice that harsh and low didn't mean any good. "How can you say it? My son was shot in the back! Does 'alright' mean he'll only be a paraplegic?" By this time she was yelling.

A sharp intake of breath could be heard, as Alexis caught her Gram's last words and Kate felt the urge to rectify. "No, Martha …"

"And, don't 'Martha' me, Detective." People were definitely starting to turn. "We both know he wouldn't be here, had you been honest enough with him!"

Kate tilted her head and didn't answer. What did Castle's mother-

"Oh, don't play dumb Beckett: you're better than this!"

"Gram, please …" Alexis sneaked up on her and encircled her waist with one arm. Martha took a deep breath and wiped a few tears away.

""He loves you, everyone sees it. And you haven't even had the decency to tell him you don't." She stopped Kate's reply with a raised hand. "No, let me finish. You've been stringing him along this whole time, knowing he struggles with this feelings he has … and he keeps them buried not to embarrass you, thinking he'll only have to wait just a bit more. This is breaking him." She added, pointing a finger at her. "Your job has broken my son."

"Gram, that's not-" a watery voice added

"No, Alexis. You know I'm right." She turned back to Kate, at this point reduced into a trembling mess of tears and drying blood. "You didn't want to be a real part of his life. So leave."

"No, please … you …" One last attempt.

Failed.

"Just leave." Martha turned, one hand held up in a dramatic gesture, and went back to triage.

Kate stood there, speechless and silently weeping.

"Detective, please …"

"I know, Alexis." She said, focusing back on her. "I'll go. Good bye."

And, with that, she was gone, leaving Alexis torn between going after her and attending to her Grandma.

The latter won.

…

After a while, Kate heard knocking on the door of the bathroom stall she was crouching into. "Engaged." She didn't even recognize her own voice.

"Detective Beckett? Kate … please, come out."

"Alexis … I really need to get through this alone, please."

"Yes, Dad's told me all about this whole 'I'm gonna make everything ok by myself' bullshit you do … I don't give a damn, ok? It's my daddy we're talking about here." She slammed a fist against the door. "My dad, who's taken a bullet for you, for real this time! So cut the crap and get your ass outta there."

If Alexis was anything, she was never impolite- so it was with a shocked expression on her face that Kate Beckett left her refuge and leaned against its closed door, eyes blood-shot but not crying anymore.

The girl rapidly assessed the situation. "Great. Now that you're actually looking at me … you'll have to forgive Grams … she acts like that cause she's worried, not because she really means it."

"I think she does, Alexis … deep down, maybe, but she does. I think you di too .. and you'd be right, I guess." She resumed her pacing. "You'd be both right …"

The redhead silently waited for her to elaborate further. "You know what? I'm so tired. Tired of feeling unworthy, tired of my mom's case never leading anywhere, tired of my PTSD …" She was rambling. "… tired of lying to Castle by telling him I don't remember the shooting … I'm so tired." She said again, sliding down the wall onto the reddish floor. "But I can0t let it go …"

"Why Kate? Why is it so important to you?" Alexis asked, kneeling in front of her and placing her hands on the older woman's shoulders. "He loves you, and you love him too, weather you're ready to admit it yet or not. He could give you everything … he could make you real happy, you know …"

"Yeah, I do … but …"

"But what? What are you so afraid of? Is it the fact that he comes with a package? Is it me?" she asked shyly.

Kate snapped her head up and grasped the girl's hand. "No! not you! Never you Alexis … you … I care about you, very much so … I'd be so lucky to … but it's complicated. Everything between your father and me is just plain complicated."

""You do realize that you're talking oxymoron, right? There's nothing hard to-"

"I don't know what I am without my mother's case." Kate blurted out. "What if we get together and they try to harm him or you or Martha … what if my mom's case is never solved and I keep having nightmares or I screw up cause I can't give him the love he deserves …"

"All I'm hearing is a bunch of excuses … no one is perfect, Kate. Dad least of anyone … and he knows you're not. He knows about your demons and he's shown me many times during this past year that he's more and more willing to fight them with you and for you if necessary … why can't you just give him a chance?"

"It's not about giving a chance to him …"

"I know. It's about getting closure. But, c'mon! How old are you? Yes, it's been traumatic. Yes, you've been trying to work it out. Yes, probably closure could make you feel slightly better, but no. You'll never stop missing your Mom." She stood up. "You'll just end up hurting everyone around you."

Kate was staring at her, amazed. Really Castle's daughter was something … and she hadn't finished, apparently. "Now, I talked to Grams and she's really sorry … so here's the plan." She stated matter-of-factly. "You go home and change while we wait … and then you come back?" she asked hopefully, extending a hand to help Kate, who took it half-smiling and rose to her heels.

Immediately, a sobbing Alexis enveloped her in a bone-crushing hug. "I'm so worried about him …"

"Shh … I know, Lex …" she hugged the girl beck, gently swaying and drawing circular motions on her back. "I am too … I'm not going anywhere until I know if he's ok …"

They kept swaying until their tears stopped. Alexis placed her head on the crook of Kate's shoulder and breathed deeply. "I'm sorry … about before … I was completely out of line …"

"Hey, don't even think about it … I needed to hear it out … c'mon, let's go and see weather there's any news, ok?"

As the girl nodded in gratitude, Kate's heart swelled. She absolutely had to be strong for her.

And she had to talk to Castle.

A/N: I really, really wanted to thank you all guys for your Alerts and Favorite … it's so overwhelmingly sweet of you! Thank you very much!

A/N 2: By the way, the coffee scene in last episode was heart crushing. Kate seemed so happy to see him but then he went and ruined everything … and she just placed the latte back on her desk, as if saying: "I don't want the coffee if I can't have our partnership back along with it." And her sarcasm at the end "That's what partners are supposed to do."? Please Andrew, do something here!

Ciao!