Louise wasn't surprised in the slightest; after all she was completely inept in magic as her multitude of explosions can attest to.
However what really surprised here was the strange color of the cloud of dust which rolled across the courtyard.
"Zero what in the world did you just do?" A buxom dark skinned red-head asked the question that was stuck on everyone's mind ever since the appearance of the strange purple smoke.
"Ha! Her failures can't even produce the correct color of smoke." Jabs weren't expected to be successful if it was halfheartedly said as Malicorne tried his hardest in faking a laugh. The strange ominous dust was not something that one could easily joke about.
"Mister Colbert is it poisonous?" A blonde boy with an unbuttoned shirt nervously asked their guardian.
The cloud as if answering the young noble's question suddenly began to spread towards the 2nd years as they promptly retreated for fear of their safety.
A very stoic Colbert was now brandishing his staff in a combat pose.
"Miss Tabitha may you kindly blow away this fog?"
A blue haired bespectacled student complied and spoke out a simple dot spell which proved effective as the purple dust cloud was now dissipating.
It didn't take long for Professor Colbert to notice the silhouette that became ever so clearer. Eventually all traces of the strange smog were gone. Which wasn't necessarily a good thing for standing in the middle of the summoning circle was a very odd being.
He looked like a simple commoner; no make that jester for he was dressed like one, but there were a few oddities which made him different from the common fool.
Firstly he had a strange almost frightening Cheshire grin plastered on his face. Secondly he was drenched in blood which alone made it clear he was more than a simple fool.
Some of the students wanted to make jibes about the "commoner" who was to be The Zero's familiar if it weren't for the disheveled gaze that bore into their souls.
"Who are you?" Professor Colbert questioned the enigmatic figure. Making sure his staff was trained on him in case of any hostilities.
The man babbled incoherently. It took some time for the people present to realize the being did not understand them.
Colbert raised his hands in the in the universal gesture for "peace" as he slowly walked towards the man. As he got closer the smell of dead meat was getting more and more intoxicating. A swish of his staff and the casting of a translation spell later did Colbert re-attempt communication.
"Can you understand me now?"
"My you're a mage!" The once breathless students' were now laughing uncontrollably as if a plague had infected them all.
"His voice, by Brimir his voice!"
"Leave it to Zero to summon something so hilarious!"
"Do a little jig jester!"
Louise shrank further and further as the laughing continued to magnify. Her self-loathing and inferiority complex growing exponentially as both fed on the mirthful crackle of her peers.
The fool in question ignored the annoying guffawing and haw-hawing. All that mattered was the short pinkette whose head hanged down dejectedly.
"So you are the mage who summoned me?"
Louise's head bolted upwards to face the object of her shame.
She wanted to shout, call it names, abuse it, hurt it and maybe even kill it. Everyone was mocking her and it was all because of him. She was almost about unleash her anguish, insecurity and hatred at it, but stopped.
She saw its horrendous smile, its dead yellow eyes and the blood which was smeared all over its face. She was a noble, a mage. A mere commoner couldn't possibly be frightening. Yet this thing she summoned terrified her to the core.
"Did you summon me?" Its annoying voice was disappearing. Slowly it was being replaced by something angry, something demonic. Louise remembered her plea to Brimir and slowly felt trepidation at the possibility.
'Did I summon a demon?'
"Y-Yes I summoned you." Louise tried ever so hard to maintain what was left of her noble dignity but it was difficult. Her ankles were shivering and her heart was beating so fast it could burst from her rib cage at any moment.
By now the laughter had died down as the noble children noticed the conversation between the fool and its mistress.
"Y-You aren't mother!" The jester screamed loudly.
"W-what?" Louise was trembling now. Why was he screaming?
"What's wrong sir?" Colbert asked the heart broken Cicero.
"WHERE IS MOTHER?!" Cicero took out his knife and immediately shot towards Louise.
Thankfully the demented fool wasn't able to work his terrible craft as Colbert held the struggling Cicero back with all his might.
"CALM DOWN SIR!" Jean was surprisingly troubled in restraining the mere jester. He was a lot stronger than what met the eye.
"Louise, are you alright?" Kirche was one of the first who was by the shivering pinkette's side.
"H-He tried to kill me ….. he tried to kill me." Louise momentarily lost all of her senses as she sat dumbly as her mind failed to comprehend how close death's claws were.
Jean Colbert was a very skilled mage and was no amateur when it came to matters concerning the physical. However Cicero was an assassin who managed to nearly slay a Werewolf with a simple knife. The fool of hearts easily broke through the man's hold and was now mounted on top of Jean as he viciously punched and elbowed and clawed the professor with reckless abandon.
"Somebody do something!" All of Colbert's students' were hesitant to come to his aid and all for different reasons. Kirche, Tabitha and even Guiche were afraid they might further injure the professor if they tried to help. The rest were simply too cowardly and spineless to such a degree that some had the gall or lack of thereof to flee from the scene.
"Familiar!" Cicero looked up from the bleeding and unconscious Colbert. His jaundiced eyes falling on the steeled eyes of a pink haired mage before he was kissed on the lips.
"Pew,ew yuck!" Louise gagged and sputtered as she tried to remove the horrible taste from her mouth.
"Louise what were you thinking!" An incredulous Kirche shouted out. At one hand Louise completely risked her life completing the familiar ritual on a hyper violent commoner; on the other hand the image of Zero kissing a jester was a delicious moment that would forever be burned into her mind.
The jester was now writhing on the ground like an eel. His howling and shrieking a horrible noise to bear but that was not the worst of it. The screaming was replaced by dreadful cachinnation. The fool was laughing and cracking and guffawing.
The crazed lunatic stood up, knife in hand and the cruel twisted smile back on his lips, every mage present aiming their wands at him. The jester then did the unexpected. He bowed down before an anxious Louise.
"Your wish is at my command Night Mother."
"Where am I?" A drowsy Jean Colbert woke up. His world replaced by pain primarily around his head. The professor slowly touched his face only for his fingers to make contact with something that had the feel of linen.
'Bandages?'
The Professor closed and opened his eyes a few more times before his once hazy sight was now cleared of all impediments.
'Why am I in the infirmary?'
Rows of beds interrupted at sparse intervals by fully drawn curtains dotted the large room. Yet with all of the murals and tables and medical reagents it was quite empty and dark too.
"Excuse me Miss." Jean noticed the woman whose back was facing towards him. He wasn't sure what she was doing.
"Yes Mister Colbert!" Jean immediately reached for a staff that was not there. Realizing he had no magical foci the helpless professor just balled his fist as he stared down the cross-dressed Cicero.
"Why are you here?" Colbert snarled at the Jester and Colbert knew it was the Jester because even though he was wearing the uniform of a nursing maid he still wore his jesting hat.
"I'm here to treat you of course! I felt bad for bruising you so badly so I though servicing you might make things all better!" The madman beamed. On a young teenaged girl it would have been cute, but Cicero was far from teenaged and simply looked creepy.
"What happened after I blacked out?" Colbert was massaging his temples, he wasn't sure if it was age or him being a little rusty but the Flame Snake at his prime wouldn't have been taken down so easily.
"Cicero is no bard or story teller but I shall tell the tale to the best of my ability." Cicero cleared his throat a bit before he started dancing.
"~~~Well there was a fool named Cicero, who was quite the wiry and demented fellow. He was summoned to this strange place and the first thing he did was break a man's face.~~~"
"Enough, I didn't ask you to sing what happened." This was divine punishment. That was the only thing which could explain why this irritating creature was here.
"Fine, Cicero will not sing nor dance." Cicero was very sad; it seemed these people weren't quite receptive towards fools.
"Well Cicero and several of your nice young students brought you here, and then we had to meet this Osmond fellow who gave poor Cicero a good tongue lashing."
'Good Job Headmaster.'
"After all of that Mother and I went to her room where we played a game of 'doggy and master'." The jester smiled and started prancing around Jean Colbert's bed.
"Then mother instructed Cicero to do her laundry, unfortunately Cicero got lost and ended up here." Cicero returned to where he was originally standing and was now holding a large bucket in one hand and a rag on the other.
"Mother?" Jean remembered how the fool was raving about his mother.
"Oh forgive me. Mother doesn't really like it when I call her that. I meant Mistress Louise." Cicero rubbed the back of his head sheepishly for forgetting that particular order as the sounds of a cracking bullwhip echoed in his ears.
"After sneaking through the room so you could sleep peacefully I discovered this uniform and thought 'why not play nursemaids?' now kindly move Mister Colbert, I need to scrub your back."
"W-wait! Hold on!" Mister Colbert was now holding on to his bed sheets as tightly as his grip could allow.
"How do I know you aren't going to stab me in the literal back?!" Cicero was strenuously trying to flip the adamant Colbert over and initiate the scrubbing process.
"That mean old Osmond took away Cicero's knife. Don't worry I'm simply going to clean your mucky,icky back." Paranoia and apprehensiveness were clouding the mind of the former assassin. But against his better judgment and instincts Colbert finally relented and allowed the insane jester to have his way with him.
"Now we need to get rid this shirt and –BY SITHIS THIS IS ATRCOIOUS!" Cicero was screaming at the top of his lungs after relieving Jean of the lined shirt that was covering his upper torso.
"What's wrong?" The uneasy professor wasn't able to speak clearly due to the bed muffling his voice but it still managed to get through and reach Cicero.
"Your back is absolutely filthy! WE MUST CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN!" It was fortunate the bed was drowning any noise the Professor would make. For with Cicero's vigorous and enthusiastically rubbing Colbert's screaming would have awakened everyone.
"Done, all better." Cicero exhaled and rubbed his brow of its sweat. Mister Colbert was now all clean and his shirt had been put back on before Cicero flipped him back on his backside.
"See you later Mister Colbert and oh do you happen to know where I can find the laundry room?" Colbert's eyes were rolled back and his open was hanging open. The pain was blocking any and all of Cicero's talking.
"Never mind, I'll go and search for it myself. Sleep tight Mister Colbert and remember to drink your fluids." Cicero then tucked the Professor in bed, kissed him on the forehead and collected the dirty clothes which he had left on a nearby chair.
Cicero left Mister Colbert in a painful state as he silently screamed.
"~oh where oh where may I clean my mother's garments. Oh where, oh where must I go~."
Contrary to his upbeat skipping and humming Cicero was not happy at all; in fact he was getting impatient. He had spent hours roaming this place looking for anything to wash his mistress's laundry.
"~~ Oh this place, this place it's like a dammed maze oh dear it's driving me insane. If dear Cicero can't find his way then there will be Oblivion to pay. ~~"
'Rounding another corner again for the 6th time. Truly who ever made this place was unis-.'
"Ooof"
"Ugh"
Cicero was lost in his thoughts hence he was compleately unaware of the young maid that was dusting the busts that were lined in the hall.
"S-sorry I didn't see you there."
The girl was young. That was plain to Cicero's eyes. She had an ample bust and a face which could move even the most hardest of men, give her a few years and she could grow up to be quite the eye candy. Cicero's mind darkened as he thought of how sweet her screaming would sound like.
"It's all right dear though it seems I have lost my hat!" Cicero was palming his head to actuate his hat-lessness.
"Is that your hat Sir?" Siesta quickly noticed the crimson coxcomb resting on the head of the bust she was previously dusting.
"That's quite the coincidence!" Cicero let lose a hearty bellow once he noticed his slumping jester hat.
After Cicero got up and retrieved his hat Siesta promptly bowed as low as she could.
"Forgive me for my transgressions!" She begged.
"No harm no pain, it fact I needed that little oomping. Now what's your name my dear."
"Uhmm Siesta."
"Surely you jest! I've heard many Louises, Guiches and Jeans but I never expected to meet a Siesta!"
"W-well sir I was named by my grand-father who's quite the odd one in my family." Siesta was hurt at how her name was being made fun off.
"Don't be so down young fair Siesta you have unique name. Why it's only the unique names that I bother to remember!" The Jester did a little jig which managed to brighten Siesta's mood and even rouse a giggle from her tired body.
"May I ask your name Sir?" She curtsied most politely.
"My you're a dear aren't you, Cicero's name is Cicero and Cicero is a Jester."
"A jester? Why would a jester dress like one of the infirmaries Matrons and carry a pile of dirty clothes?"
"Oops did I say Jester?" Cicero quickly took away his new hat and hid it in his undergarments. The fool then sucked his lips in and adopted a crocked and hunched posture.
"Why I'm Mistress Astrid and I was sent by my Mistress to wash her underwear." Cicero's accent was flawless as he spoke like a true elder.
Siesta was quick to the jest and giggled at how much fun this Cicero was.
"Why 'Mistress Astrid' I'd be happy to help you wash your Mistresses Laudry. Please follow me."
The kind maid led Cicero to the servant quarters which was a gloomy and depressing place. She then proceeded to enter one of the rooms which contained some washboards and several buckets some empty and some filled with rain or river water.
"Do you know how to use a washboard 'Mistress Astrid'."
A flashback struck Cicero, a flashback that contained a very angry Redguard.
"By Sithis what did you do to my clothes fool!?" A naked Nazir shouted as he held his now pitch black attire.
"Well I couldn't find any soup. It seems its non-existent here in Skyrim so Cicero had to make due by creating his own concoction."
"You made your own soap?" Nazir was surprised and yet was not, he remembered that Cicero was a former Silencer of course the fool would be quite adept at alchemy in order to make the poisons he needed for his job.
"Why yes! Quite proud of it in fact! A mixture of Death bell and Nightshade."
"That's the ingredients for a poison!" Nazir dropped his cloths as if they were on fire.
"Relax, I managed to distill and remove most of the impurities. To be honest the Nightshade and Deathbell were added just for the smell."
"Never again will I allow you to handle the washing!" Nazir stormed off, looking for anything to shelter his body while he waited for a ship from Stros M'Kai to stop at Dawnstar so he can acquire the unique materials required to stitch himself a new set of clothes.
"To be honest dear I have no inkling of a clue on how to wash clothes."
"That's fine I'll teach you."
What followed was a long conversation which involved Siesta teaching Cicero what he already had a rudimentary knowledge about while she gushed and talked about her dull life and her dull village and how she manged to become a dull maid working in a dull school. When Cicero finally had the chance to talk he went on and on about his exciting life and how it was exciting serve under his new mother.
"You call her Mother?" Siesta questioned.
"Yes. She has been blessed by the great Dread Father! It's really exciting to be able to serve someone as her."
After all the talking was done things became quiet as Siesta pensively thought. With the washing over and the wet linens strung up Cicero had no other reason to stay and so left in order to spend the remainder of his time familiarizing with his surroundings.
"Farewell young sweet Siesta I'll see you next when the sun rises in order retrieve the undergarments." Siesta smiled and waved as Cicero departed and when he was gone she took out and held out a strange amulet that was shaped like a bloody skull.
"Darkness Rises When Silence Dies." Siesta intoned.
Authors Note: I think I'm slowly turning Cicero into Skyrim Joker.