Rated T. More bad words. Or, technically, one bad word, but a lot.
ABC owns Castle. If I did, he'd be up on Ebay.
Shit!
Kate - (NO!... Beckett, dammit, Beckett) was investigating! He tossed his phone on the desk and stood to stare out his window. Why hadn't he considered this? In this grand plan he had to exorcise himself of all things Beckett, how had he failed to consider that she'd dive headfirst into the case and back down the rabbit hole? Idiot!
He'd convinced her to set it aside, promised her they'd do it together, when the time was right, yada yada...Partners, right? Right.
Ugh. He hated this!
Apparently he'd done a great job of convincing her he was no longer her partner, and that she was on her own. Why the hell would she wait any longer? He really was an idiot!
Shit.
He tossed back his scotch and sat with his elbows on his knees, staring blankly at the floor.
He should have thought of this, dammit! He'd intentionally shoved her case aside in the last weeks. He wasn't sure what to do with it. He had no plans of continuing on his own, but beyond that he'd intentionally not thought about it.
Now what? If Beckett started nosing around again they would kill her. He had no doubts. Had a storyboard full of dead people pictures to prove it. As much as he hated what she'd done to him, he still loved her (He really hated that... like with the intensity of a thousand suns.) He didn't want anything to happen to her, and of course he would still protect her. He still had nightmares about that bright sunny day in May. They had been less frequent in recent months, but since The Big Reveal they'd come back with a vengeance. As if real life wasn't torture enough right now.
Shit.
He scrubbed his face with his hands. He had to think. Now he was forced to make a decision. He had to get her to drop it, but how? No way she would step away again if he asked. Probably tell him to kiss her ass, and rightfully so, really... The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that the only option was the truth. Although, he considered, he didn't have to tell the whole truth, did he? He had to tell her about Smith and the deal, that was certain, but maybe he didn't have to reveal the new information he'd found.
He'd have to go see her. Talk to her. There really was no choice.
It would have to be tonight.
Shit.
A/N: Way deep in the weeds of Castle's head, right? Short, I know, but this is as much as I am willing to get in this characters head right now. The next chapter will actually have Kate. Buckle up.