Even though Lee had been expecting it from the moment he'd seen that look on Angelo's face, actually hearing it was different. The world went cold and everything in the room sounded like it was coming at him down a long tunnel. He gaped at Angelo, trying to process that the effervescence of the woman he'd known in Venice could have been snuffed out behind the cold grey walls of a Russian prison. He sank into a chair, not sure how he'd remained standing up until now.

"It was my fault… if I had just given the KGB what they wanted…" Angelo was saying now.

"Oh, Mr. Spinelli, I'm sure it wasn't your fault…" Amanda began then faltered as Lee turned an incredulous look on her. "I mean, the KGB are not very nice people." She went silent as Lee grimaced at that understatement.

Amanda may have stopped talking, but her mind was racing. She'd been so happy to see Lee walk in, and just a little bit relieved that he hadn't noticed her at first so that she had time to school her face into a polite smile - instead of throwing herself across the room to hug him. She'd really missed him in the weeks he'd been gone, still feeling terrible that she's been frosty with him before that over that last case and wishing she'd had a chance to make it up to him before he'd left. Even her mother had called her out for being mopey, but had put it down to Amanda still being upset about Lee's "transfer" and Amanda hadn't corrected her.

She'd watched Lee as he'd greeted Angelo as an old friend, his whole demeanour cheerful and relaxed, but then he had turned to her and stiffened. His emotions had been like a kaleidoscope across his face: confusion, surprise, and the tiniest flicker of what had seemed to be disappointment before he'd shaken himself and smiled at her – really smiled, like he was happy to see her and in that instant, she'd been sure they were going to be fine.

She sat back to drink him in – his attention had shifted back to Angelo after greeting her, and she could stare at him as much as she liked. She listened to them talk about their shared past and although she was paying attention, she was also noting all the little details: the slight bags under his eyes that said he was exhausted, the scratchy sound in the timbre of his voice that said he was emotional, the deep tan that said he'd been somewhere a lot warmer than Washington. And then he asked that fateful question and she watched as the tan had turned ashen and Lee had staggered into a chair like a man who'd received a crippling blow. His eyes had come up to meet hers, so filled with pain that she'd leapt into the conversation with Angelo without thinking, just wanting to give him a moment to compose himself before he gave anything else away.

"Are you ready to go?" asked Francine from the doorway.

"Go?" asked Lee, blankly. He still looked stunned from Angelo's revelation.

"We were just getting ready to take Mr. Spinelli over to the house he'll be staying in," explained Amanda.

"A safe house?"

"Yes," Francine answered. "He'll have round-the-clock protection while he's here being…"

"Deprogrammed?" quipped Angelo.

"Interviewed," finished Francine, looking embarrassed.

"I want to go with you," interjected Lee.

Francine and Amanda exchanged startled looks. "Lee, you only just got home. I don't think that's a good idea," said Francine

"Well, I think it's a great idea," said Lee. "It's difficult for Angelo, I'm sure, trying to adjust to all this. I think a familiar face is just what he needs."

"I'll have to check with Billy," said Francine, doubtfully.

"You do that. In the meantime, Amanda and I will go with Angelo, start getting him settled in." Lee turned to Amanda, silently, but unmistakably pleading for her support.

"Well, I was going to suggest we stop for a bite to eat on our way," she stammered out. "Since we haven't had a chance to stock the fridge at the safe house yet… So how about if we go find lunch and we can meet up with Francine at the house?"

"That would be okay, I guess," Francine gave in after looking back and forth between them for a beat. "Jake's ready to drive you."

"That's not necessary. I can drive," said Lee. "Come on, let's get out of here." He stood up and went the door, looking at them expectantly.

Amanda smiled nervously as she studied him – he was rocking on his feet and rubbing his fingers together like he always did when he was on edge. It seemed like this might be a bad idea, but then again, it also seemed like it would be better to get Lee outside before he burst. She stood up and led the way out of the room

"So, Mr. Spinelli, what do you think you'd like for lunch?" she asked, turning to Angelo as they walked down the corridor, Lee directly behind them, his hands jammed in his pockets.

"You know, I am not certain what I would like," he admitted. "I have had nothing, but cabbage soup for so long that everything sounds good."

"How about burgers?" interrupted Lee. "There's bound to be a place on the way."

Amanda looked at Angelo, who shrugged. "That seems like a very American thing to do, and since I will be American now, why not?"

Twenty minutes later, they were seated around a table at Mighty Meaty Hamburgers. Lee had gone to collect their order and Amanda was explaining the credit card applications to Angelo who was shaking his head in consternation.

"My wife did so much of this for me," he explained. "I never had to worry about anything when she was with me."

"Were you married for long?" Amanda asked, with a quick glance to see if Lee was still out of earshot.

"No, a few years only. She was much younger than I was; she was my research assistant. I was supposed to be the boss, but she was very determined to be the one looking after me." Angelo laughed self-consciously. "My work distracted me often, but she mothered me, you know? Making sure I ate meals and paid bills and wore clean shirts." He stared down at the pile of paperwork in front of him. "I got used to letting her handle this type of thing." He looked back at Amanda with a wry look. "It was Eva that convinced me to accept the offer from the Soviet government. Her mother is Romanian, you know, and although she had been living in the West for some time, she still had family who encouraged us to take the Russians up on their offer. Eva thought it would be good for my future… for my career..." He tapped the papers. "But here I am without her, and now I am Richard Kelly who works in a plumbing store."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Spinelli," said Amanda helplessly.

"Mr. Kelly," he corrected her, sadly. "I must get used to that, no?"

Angelo bent his head to begin studying the paperwork again, while Amanda studied him in turn. She hadn't known anything about Mr. Spinelli's past history when Billy had assigned her to help him acclimatize to America, but of course, none of that had really mattered. She didn't need to know about his past to help him with his future – although she did have doubts about the part where he was going to be a plumbing supply salesman.

Once again, she found herself thinking about how it was so typical of the Agency to come up with something like that without thinking it through. Angelo was obviously never going to actually work in plumbing supplies, but there was no doubt in her mind that the first time he trotted out that backstory, whoever he was talking to would immediately start asking him about how to fix some kind of problem in their house. It was what normal people did, a concept the Agency seemed to be unable to grasp. You meet a doctor, you ask them for medical advice; you meet a plumber, you ask him how to make your toilet stop running.

"Why not hide a camper van in a campground? Why be an equipment manager when you could be a player?" she muttered under her breath. "And why on earth take an Italian brain expert and hide him as an Irish plumber?"

Angelo lifted his head and look at her with confusion. "Did you say something, Mrs. King?"

"Oh no, just talking to myself," she said brightly. "Making lists, that sort of thing." She looked around. "I'll just go see if Lee needs help with the food."

She walked up to the counter, leaning against it to watch Lee as he sorted out the missing items with the girl at the window. "Colossus of Rhodes, huh? You must really have missed American food."

"Yeah, rice and fish curry gets old pretty fast," he agreed. "I've been having dreams about burgers for days. Nothing fancy, just a regular old burger. Comfort food, you know?"

She wondered if Lee even remembered taking that raincheck for a burger date the other week. She could see his tension in the way he was fiddling with everything on the tray and the way he still hadn't met her eyes.

"How are you doing?" he asked. "Not going to be too much work helping him out?" He had finally looked up to check on Angelo, then let his gaze slip back to her.

"I'm fine," she shrugged with a soft smile. "Mr. Spinelli seems very nice, but it's all pretty overwhelming. Of course, it's going to be hard for him, he misses his wife a lot."

Lee looked down at his feet, then back at her. "Yeah, I know."

"Gee, you know, it's funny," she ventured. "In all the conversations we've had, you never mentioned Eva."

A bitter smile went across Lee's face. "Amanda, do you have any idea how many things I have never mentioned to you?"

She gave him a fond smile. "Oh, a couple of million, I bet."

Lee allowed himself a small laugh. "Not quite that many."

That laugh made her feel a little braver. "Close, though."

"Yeah maybe," he allowed.

"I guess I shouldn't really be all that surprised that you never mentioned her, I mean, I guess I'm used to you not talking about yourself much. But…"

"You thought maybe I'd have found time to mention a girl I wanted to marry?" he asked

"Yeah." Amanda gathered her courage to press on as Lee fiddled with the stack of napkins. "I guess you almost did, that night you let me ask all the questions – she was the reason you pleaded the Fifth, right?" She waited for his rueful nod. "So what was she like? What kind of woman is the one who almost married Lee Stetson?"

"I almost married her. There's probably a subtle difference."

"Not so subtle," said Amanda, tilting her head as she watched him. "So she turned you down?"

Lee shook his head and gave her another sad smile. "We never really got that far. I wanted to talk to her about it, she came running into the café all excited, and she told me she was marrying Angelo. And that was that. I wished her all the best and said I was very happy for them."

"You told her who you really were though – that you were an agent, I mean. You must have thought she was… I mean, you don't just tell anyone about yourself." Amanda faltered, thinking about how difficult it had been to get Lee to open up about himself and wondering about the woman who had apparently breached those defenses so easily.

"I thought she could be the one," he admitted. "I hadn't met someone before that I wanted to be completely truthful with and I didn't want to be acting a cover when I was with her – I wanted her to care about me, not the fake grad student. And it felt right – she accepted everything I said without a blink and never pulled away." He shot her a quick look. "When she married Angelo instead, I guess it felt like maybe I'd been wrong to think it didn't bother her. That when it came down to it, a safe life with the professor was better than a life with me."

"I'm sorry, this is really none of my business." It was Amanda's turn to stare at her feet, unable to watch the pain on Lee's face.

"No, it's fine. It all feels like it was a lifetime ago. And we- well, it probably wouldn't have worked out for us anyway. You know better than anyone how it is – I do stuff in this job that is hard to accept sometimes."

She felt the pang of remorse that she'd fought with him over that exact thing. "I'm still sorry," she murmured. "Sorry for being nosy and sorry that you've lost someone you cared about."

"Yeah, well," Lee gave a little shrug. "I lost her a long time ago."