These Are the Voices with Which You Call Me Home (into your waiting arms).

Author's Note:

Part One.

7 Years: Lucas Graham.

Deep End: Birdy.

** The songs quoted above are the ones I used for writing; if you want, try listening to them when reading :)

Also, I kinda played with Leonard's family; I used different names, added brothers and a sister he doesn't have in the Alternate Movie Series and stuff, but it's for the purpose of the story, so I hope people don't mind too much ^^.

Leonard McCoy stood at Jim's door with the order to bring his Captain back with him or so help him he'd have his hide served on his father's snow-white plate first thing on Christmas Eve morning. Arms crossed, he waited after ringing the doorbell, and felt every bite of the stone-cold chill that settled deep under his skin. The snow was coming, and it was coming fast, and if he didn't get a move on he'd be stuck knee-deep in it before one in the morning.

"I'm a doctor, not a butler," he growled, before puncturing the doorbell again. Silence answered him; Jim lived in a ground floor, two-bedroom apartment just ten minutes from McCoy and, even though Leonard had offered Jim a bed in the much-fancier apartment he'd bought from the raise after the promotion, Jim still hadn't taken him up on his offer.

They'd returned from their five-year mission two weeks ago; the doctor hadn't seen him since, but

once his mother threatened him with a metaphorical corkscrew and his father with a literal pitchfork (you could tell Jim was loved by the McCoy's, and they hadn't even met the kid yet, which was a surprise that Leonard didn't want to go into), Leonard knew it was time to man up and face the kid.

Biting his lip, he chanced banging the shit out of the door and barked, "Jim, I know you're in there. Don't make me bust the door."

Something from inside shuffled in answer.

Yep.

Knew it. Called it, actually- Chekov thought the moron was on holiday in bloody Hawaii or something. Leonard knew better; the bloody Captain decided to hole himself up in his lame-ass apartment for the Christmas. No family; no friends; no communication, and the possibility of a repetition of events from not-so-long ago.

He whispered a thankful prayer that his mother was persuasive.

The door opened, slightly. Leonard cocked an eyebrow and shuddered when a little gust of wind whipped his wet hair from out of his face.

"Got your bags packed, kid?" he asked.

Jim blinked back at him. There. Leonard saw it, the little rings under his eyes, the telltale sign that fatigue was starting to set in— that, and the kid must've already started on the first bottle without him.

Fuck.

"Packed?" Jim mumbled. He rubbed his eyes. Sleep was biting, and Leonard knew that Jim only ever gave into tiredness when his body screamed for sleep (what the actual fuck was the kid doing to make him forget sleep- ah, no, wait; this was Jim Tiberius Kirk they were talking about. No answers needed). "What?"

"Christmas, kid. Pack them. Or else I'll be served as porridge with a side-dish of maple syrup first thing tomorrow." Leonard ignored the little slip of Georgia fear; his mother had no problem doing just what he knew she would. Years of growing up under her unwavering hand made Leonard swallow her words faster than scotch.

Jim stepped a little further out the door, and shivered under the light t-shirt he wore. His face revealed nothing, but the worry in his voice revealed everything; "Bones, it's ten o' clock at night- you're supposed to be on your way- your family-" he added, before fumbling with his hands in the dark to claim words he couldn't speak.

A sliver of concern slipped down Leonard's back. "Yeah. My family is waiting for you. They wanted you to come along, celebrate the holidays; they want to meet you for the first time. Two weeks, Jim. Fun. Food- and did I mention you get to meet Joanna?" he grinned. "Jo's letting me take her for the holidays- and Joanna's been dying to meet you."

"Joanna?" Confusion settled over Jim's face. Leonard read it, clear as day- a little girl wanted to meet the man who saved his father's life more times than he could probably count, but why- he opened his mouth, and he shook his head, unable to understand, "I-"

Jim was stalling; Leonard knew the goddamn kid too well. "I'm not barging in on your family at Christmas- I'm fine, actually, Bones," he chuckled, and Leonard gave him the look, but Jim was still shaking his head, his hands trembling with the below-zero temperatures, his breaths foggy with warmth, "Really- I'm fine- I've got a few reports to-"

Lack of sleep, eh? A fist of black fury burst through Leonard's skin. Jesus. Jim's face fell when he saw the rising anger. 'Fleet wanted the kid to work over his hard-earned goddamn holidays-

Those fuckers-

"Jim Tiberius Kirk," Leonard found himself growling, "You are not doing any reports, nor anything that has anything to do with 'fleet over the next two weeks- do you hear me?" He grabbed Jim's arm and pulled him back into his apartment before finding Jim's bedroom, an empty bag and a ridiculous amount of clothes in the sparse-enough wardrobe. If he didn't see a single fairy-light or Christmas decoration, then he paid no heed to it (and a small part of him hoped that it had something to do with how busy the kid had been- Jesus, was he even going to celebrate the holidays this year?). "You've saved hundreds- thousands- of lives when you diverted that goddamn ship from that black hole under Zircon III four weeks back, and you are celebrating that by coming with me, meeting my daughter, my family and by drinking yourself merry with a couple of like-minded individuals."

"Bones-" Jim started as he stepped forward, "I can't walk in on a family like that-"

"How about the time you helped Scotty to re-route some of the main-frame power to the projectiles in order to save us from being crushed by that enemy ship with the weird name two months back?"

"Awayas?" Jim answered, before shaking his head again, "Bones- seriously-"

"Or the time when you singlehandedly took on the Grayachies so that Uhura would not be bartered off like a fucking slave while on-ground?"

"Bones- Jesus, anyone would have stopped that-"

"And the time that you re-wrote all the ship's codes so that no-one would be held liable for the pirate landing two years back- even Spock was pissed when he found out that you were held captive so that those fuckers could inch the codes out of you."

"Yeah, but I didn't want anyone else to get hurt-"

"You never want anyone else to get hurt."

"Because 'anyone else' means my crew, and I'm-"

Leonard threw a thick coat over his shoulder and he heard Jim grunt, "Ompf-" when it landed in his face. The action itself effectively ended the conversation, and Leonard wasn't sure whether Jim's sudden docile behavior meant that the older man had won, or that the younger was too tired to care.

"You saved my life on that ship, Jim," he breathed as he knelt down to the floor, throwing a few jumpers into the already-full bag, "The least I can do is bring you home."

It was something that he knew Jim might not have heard, yet, he didn't really care. Jim had no family; Winona was gone, Sam was gone, everyone Jim had cared about was gone, and Christmas got really lonely for those without families and out of all the people in the world, Jim was one person who didn't need to be left alone.

Leonard remembered the last time he found Jim, alone, at Christmas- their first year at the Academy. The kid was drunk out of his mind and a bruised eye, broken ribs and a twisted ankle to match. He remembered the words that had spilled out of his best friend then- "I was seven when she left- there's no-one there anymore-" and he swore it wouldn't be like that again.

Jim was coming with him. Whether he liked it or not.

The journey was four hours long, a journey that would've only been two and a half had it not been for the snow. The Christmas lights from one town to the next filled Leonard's eyes, and with the heat turned up and the radio pushing one of those oldies- 'Driving Home for Christmas'- he thought it funny, fitting.

"Seriously- I can get a bus back- you don't actually have to feel like-" Jim started for the fifteenth time before Leonard snarled.

Jesus, he was getting more pissed by the second. "You are family, Jim. Our family. Jesus, how many times do I have to say that?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jim breathed, before he pulled the hood of his coat up over his head and shrugged his entire body weight against the door, as if to silence the entire conversation.

But Leonard heard it, the whisper, "I'm not, though. Not really."

If he wasn't driving… he would've punched the seat or something.

It was only when he heard the tell-tale breath of a sleeping, overtired mind that Leonard whispered, "I might not have been able to see Joanna again, Jim."

The hundreds of times that the Captain had surfaced, bloody and bruised and broken and bone-sick and bone-tired in sickbay, would forever remain in his mind.

He gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"Finally," a white-haired woman with a bright red and green shawl stepped onto the porch as Leonard surfaced from the driver's seat, "I thought you were going to leave us waiting in the goddamn snow on the night before Christmas Eve, Len."

"It's nice to know I can come home to your impatience, mama," he drawled as he pulled out his bags, the presents, everything. If he noticed that Jim still hadn't opened his door, he paid no heed to it. The kid had no choice; he was staying here, and there was no one else out for miles to take him back to that dreary apartment. In front of the jeep, the twinkling fairytale lights glittered over the three-floor mansion, the broad expanse of it revealing enough of their family's wealth that he needed have said nor described anything more.

They weren't always that rich; Leonard had a feeling that his relationship with Jim had something to do with it, and their five-year long journey into deep-space had heralded many conversations from the McCoy's about a sudden raise in their accounts and finances.

It became all the more obvious when Chekov and Sulu had mentioned their families while on the bridge two years back; Jim wasn't there when everyone had opened up, relating the sudden change in their family's way of life, in the way that their stress had relaxed into financial security.

Jim never spoke of it; they never brought it up, but everyone knew that Jim's influence had something to do with it.

"Is that sarcasm I hear, Leonard?" his mother called as she stepped down the steps to the snowy ground. He shook his head.

"No, but you should be inside- it's nearly three in the morning, and you and-"

"Quit the old shenanigans," his mother quipped. "Now, where's that strapping young man I've heard so much about?"

Jim still hadn't made it out of the car. Leonard looked over to his side of the jeep, and found a head still lolled over the window of the passenger's seat. He stopped.

Oh.

"I think he's still asleep."

Leonard found a pair of closed eyes folded into the neck of a thick coat, a face scratched with lines of tiredness that inched over skin like a tree taking root. Out for the count, completely. There was a surprise- or was it really? Leonard couldn't be sure; Jim was always a bundle of energy and starbursts; the kid never stopped, never kept pace with any time but anyone else's, but even in the last little while, the kid had kept himself holed up in that damn apartment. Leonard didn't know whether or not the kid had had any sleep in that time; judging by how out of it he was, it seemed that sleep didn't come knocking on the kid's door in a long, long while.

"So this is your Captain," his mother breathed over his shoulder. Leonard looked down to her. Her eyes crinkled in the near-darkness. "Ah, I see what you mean- he is very young. The poor thing; we should move him before he wakes up."

Leonard softened. "Yeah- is dad up?"

"Of course- everyone's waiting inside- Samantha, Rowen and Charlie all arrived yesterday, and Joanna's asleep in her room; she was so excited to see her father, and Jim, of course."

Leonard breathed a smile. Just what Jim needed. People- lots of them. "Right. I'll get Jim, and you get warmed up inside. The old room?" he added, and his mother nodded, before putting a hand on his cheek.

"We've missed you, sweetheart."

Leonard chuckled. "Missed you too, mum. Happy Christmas."

A single, feather-light snowflake tumbled to the earth beneath them, and the spell that was winter had unleashed its magic.

Jim snuffled in his sleep the second Leonard laid him down in his old bedroom. His sleeping form turned toward the doctor and curled around a pillow, and as he snuffled again, he buried his head further down into the covers of the duvet the doctor pulled up over his shoulders.

It would've been comical- a part of him wished he had something to record the image in front of him- but Leonard knew that the body under him was so far under in sleep that the only reason for it was exhaustion. He frowned a little, hoping Jim wouldn't catch a cold or something now that his defenses had finally relented.

He should've brought his medical supplies up the stairs with him- maybe he should've-

"Hey," someone breathed from behind, and he jumped a mile.

"The fuck-" he screech-whispered, and turned to find Samantha's whiskey-scotch eyes staring back at him from the depths of darkness. Leonard's old bedroom was situated at the far end of the house, away from the sounds of the kitchen and even the dining room; silence inched its way through the newly-renovated room- he was shocked that Samantha's approach was so quiet.

"You sure jump easily- I forgot that about you," Samantha said, before she took a look at Jim's sleeping form over her brother's shoulder. "N'aww, I can see why you're so fond of him-"

"Shut it, Sam," Leonard ground out as he dropped the duvet completely.

"Dude, we all know- we've all known for quite some time, so stop trying to hide it, for God's sake," Samantha's drawl came out thick and heady. "Just in case you want to know- dad thought you'd crack before you brought him home."

Leonard stilled, his body frozen with new knowledge, and an overwhelming fear. His mother threatening him with a corkscrew- and her admonition of Jim's youth… Shit. "It all makes sense now- the reason why they wanted me to bring him home-"

"Ha!" Samantha grinned through the darkness, "Does your Captain even know you're bi-"

"Shut the fuck up, Sam!" Leonard growled, before he shoved her out the door.

"Happy Christmas to you too," his little sister cheerily whispered before she shut the door behind her, leaving McCoy standing in the darkness.

It was only when he took a second look around the old room that he found another double bed tucked in beyond the one Jim was sleeping in. Leonard's stomach dropped. Shit.

"I am not fucking sleeping with the Captain in the same room. No. Fucking. Way."

(He kinda did in the end, though).

"Daddy?" someone whispered in his dreams. Leonard smiled; he knew that voice anywhere.

He opened his eyes, and pulled his waiting daughter into his arms. "I missed you," he said, cuddling her as close as he could. She giggled, grappling with his t-shirt and tugging her head of chestnut-brown curls against his chest.

"It's Christmas Eve!" she whispered.

"Really? We should light a fire for Santa now, shouldn't we?"

"No!" Joanna whispered, "We can't, daddy- then he won't be able to come down the chimney!"

Leonard blinked the sleep from his eyes, and pulled his daughter away from him to take in her seven-year-old form. She was still as light and short as ever, and he opened his mouth to say, "Sweetie, why are we whispering?"

"There's a man sleeping over there, and I didn't want to wake him," Joanna replied, turning with McCoy to take in Jim's soft snores in the bed across from them. Leonard blinked, and then remembered the events from the night- a few hours- before. Jim had turned in his sleep, and was facing them both, the lines around his eyes softened with the night's rest, his arms and face pulled into the pillow like he was wringing the absolute shit out of some poor human being. Leonard smiled.

"I don't think we need to worry about Jim waking up anytime yet, sweetie- so tell me, are we making Christmas cake and hot chocolate, McCoy-style, today?"

Joanna's eyes lit up like a pair of stars, and Leonard fought the serious urge to bundle her deep into his arms again. God, he missed this.

"And can we play outside? There's lots of snow- we can make a snowman, and Uncle Jim can help!" Joanna grinned, sparkles and diamonds dazzling her round, hazel eyes. Leonard chuckled; she was going to kill the sucker that fell for her with those beautiful orbs.

"I think that Uncle Jim would love that."

After having his shower, Leonard didn't find Joanna back in her bedroom.

He toweled off his hair, about to call out her name, when he heard her babbling away about birds and forests and facts. He followed her voice back to his bedroom, and found her, her arms propped up on Jim's chest. As if she was simply made to be there.

Leonard watched as Jim laughed at something she said, and his heart pulled at the raw surrender in it, at the boundless joy in Jim's cackle. Tinged at the ends of that voice were the tell-tale signs of tiredness, and with it, Leonard felt his heart tug all the more.

Goddamn those 'Fleet fuckers. He'd kill them once he returned from this break.

Did they even realise how many times their Captain put himself on the line for them?

"Are you serious?" Jim was saying, genuine shock on his face, "Can monkeys really do that- or are you just making it up?"

"No!" Joanna cried, giggling uncontrollably- "I'm being serious, Uncle Jim!"

"Nah- I don't believe you," Jim said, "But, on Airtide III, where your daddy was, we saw creatures that looked like monkeys- and they could fly!"

"What?" Joanna's eyes widened, her mouth shaping a huge 'O' as she stared in wonder at Leonard's Captain.

"Yeah, and your daddy had to stop the monkeys before they ended up taking over the entire ship, and-"

"Jim, Joanna does not need to hear that particular story," Leonard jarred the bedroom door a little wider. Jim's expression stilled, his head coming to look up over his shoulder to the door, and a mixture of embarrassment and naïve sheepishness overcame his features- an expression Leonard hardly ever saw on the kid when he wore that 'Captain' expression.

Jesus. Jim would be the death of him, someday.

"Daddy!" Joanna scrambled off Jim's chest before racing over to him; he picked her up and threw her high into the air.

"You've gotten bigger since I left you ten minutes ago, ya little rascal," Leonard laughed.

"Daddy, Uncle Jim is funny," she said as he put her on his hip. Leonard cocked an eyebrow at that one. "He's all ours, isn't he? Like granny said?"

Leonard looked at Jim, who sat up on the bed, his face dappling red.

"We have to be very careful when it comes to Uncle Jim," Leonard said, narrowing his eyes at his best friend.

"Uncle Jim said he was going to show me how to dance, and how to catch fireflies, and-" Joanna bubbled, but she was cut short with a suddenly suspicious look from her father.

When Leonard turned to look at Jim, Jim's face went a shade darker, and Jim held both his hands up, babbling, "Whoa! No, I didn't- I swear, I didn't! Nope. That was not me- I swear, Bones!"

Leonard's warning signals went off, and the words, 'Daddy-mode' must've flashed, because Jim's face went sheet-white and his voice rose a couple semi-tones—

"Nope- it wasn't me, I didn't suggest any of that-"

"Yes, you did, Uncle Jim- you said-"

"Kid, don't go blaming me- your dad looks like he wants to kill me."

"Oh for God's sakes, it's seven in the morning and I want to sleep!" someone boomed from two halls down, and Jim jumped from the bitter evil in the woman's voice.

"Shut up, Samantha!" Leonard barked back. "Just because you aren't a morning person doesn't mean the rest of us aren't!"

"You're one to talk, Bones!" Rowen opened his bedroom door a crack and shook his nick-name out like a taunt from somewhere else in the house.

Joanna looked between her father and Uncle Jim, and giggled, "Merry Christmas."

At breakfast that Jim finally walked into the kitchen, head slightly bowed. Everyone had looked up from the table, and Leonard muttered, "Finally," loud enough for anyone to hear. Jim stopped in the doorway, before fumbling with an open, silent mouth-

"Hi, everyone," he finally ventured.

It baffled Leonard, slightly. Here was a man who could singlehandedly pilot the Enterprise; yet, here was a Jim who deflated in front of a family-

Of course, he thought, the Enterprise is Jim, in every sense of the word. He wasn't just a Captain; he was the ship.

"This your Captain, Len?" Samantha asked around a mouthful of cereal. Leonard cut her a sharp look' she grinned.

"Yup," Joanna said. "Uncle Jim said that daddy saved everyone from a potential nuclear disaster once."

The table went silent, and Jim perked his head up at her words. "Um-" he started.

"Yeah. Um," Leonard added, knowing that he hadn't- quite- told his family that one. He knew that there were shared looks between everyone at the table, but his eyes were on Joanna, on her sudden reverence for him, and he stopped, and- well, this was unexpected, something he had never seen before, something he hadn't ever heard before.

Joanna had been shy; she found it hard to get along with kids her age, and Leonard knew that he was to blame for some of that disassociation. Her awkwardness made her hang onto her family, but-

Did Jim do that?

Joanna suddenly looked up to her father's eyes, and her face softened, and she whispered, "Uncle Jim said that you saved the ship hundreds of times, and that you are a brilliant doctor, and that you are his best friend, and that he loves you like a brother, and-"

Leonard's heartstrings pulled again. Shit. Jesus.

"- there's no-one there anymore-"

Jesus Christ.

"Joanna, I've no clue where you got that from," Jim stepped in, suddenly finding everything but the doctor's face very, very interesting. Leonard knew that the wallpaper was interesting- who decorated their kitchen with paper-pink flowers, for crying out loud- but he also suddenly understood where all this awkwardness was coming from.

And it clicked.

Jim's awkwardness was the same as Joanna's.

"But-" Joanna started-

"Nope. No clue- didn't come from me-" Jim was suddenly fidgeting, and Leonard could hear the little lapse of his breath from across the kitchen, and before he could move to help his friend- his best friend, goddamnit- his mother had appeared from out of nowhere and reached out and enveloped Jim in a hug.

Leonard stopped. He saw the flush of embarrassment outshine his Captain's features-

"Um-" Jim started, before Leanna McCoy looked up into Jim's eyes, holding both her hands against his face. Jim stopped, and stared into her eyes.

"Thank you for bringing my son home, Captain," she said, "You are most welcome to stay for as long as you like, whenever you like. Our home is yours, and our family are yours, always."

Jim had stilled in Leanna's hands, and Leonard couldn't read the emotion that he found in Jim's eyes. The kid had blinked, then looked down, and reached up to hold both of his mother's hands in his own, closing his eyes, savoring the comfort only a mother could give.

Leonard had told her everything, of course; he hadn't stopped calling his family throughout the entire time he was in space; they knew of his adventures in the same way that they knew that the Captain was every inch the friend Leonard had needed- still needed- when he was failing- as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a human being. They knew that the Captain was more than just a rock- he was a constant solace and balm, for Leonard, for them.

And when his mother found out about that Christmas- the Christmas that shall not be named- she fired up a helluva storm just to have him here.

"Thank you for having me," Jim whispered out, his voice thick with emotion, "Thank you."

Leonard smiled, and gathered Joanna in his arms. Jim was home. It was Christmas.

"So," Rowen said, breaking the wonderful, wonderful moment, "Does our little brother love our Captain as much as he loves him?"

Leonard flushed, and his father's hand whipped out of nowhere and whacked his son on the back of the head. "Ow!" Rowen winced.

Leanna sighed, the magical spell broken, "Captain-"

"Jim," Jim answered straightaway, chuckling under his breath, and catching Leonard's eye with a wink. Leonard flushed with a groan.

"Jim," Mrs. McCoy said, "You might end up regretting staying in this house. A word of warning; we're downright monsters at Christmas-time."

"I don't think I'd have a family any other way," Jim whispered, and Leonard swore he saw his mother's eyes crinkle with soft-hearted emotion. "Merry Christmas," he added, "everyone."