Primus my prayers have been answered! It's finally edited and read for posting! I can't believe it! It's been so long.
We continue along now as Optimus wakes up in the med bay.
The soft hum of the recharge-bed and the scent of medicinal lubricants were enough to tell Optimus he was in the Med Bay. He let out a long sigh.
'Not again,' he thought wearily.
Everything still hurt as he lay there, keeping his optics offline. But such pain was inconsequential to the pain he felt in his spark.
Nothing he did was right in father's eyes. Nothing.
Did father even love him? The question plagued him. Most questions did until he had real answers that eased his cerebral processor or his spark.
Mother said that father did love him. And mother never lied to him. That alone should have been enough for Optimus. Only it wasn't. All it did was create more questions in his mind.
Honestly, how could a father not love his own son?
Optimus was told that a sparkling was created by that of two loving parents. He logically assumed that's how he was created because if they didn't love each other then he wouldn't have come to be. Thinking about it, as far as he knew mother and father always loved each other and still did. There wasn't anything to indicate that they didn't love each other.
As far as he could remember, father was there when Optimus received his first visual sensory input or at least the first one he truly remembered. Both his parents were there. He must have been crying because they both appeared worried as he looked up them. He remembered father taking him into his arms and holding him close, speaking his name softly, affectionately. He can even remember his father's lips pressing against his forehead.
It was one of the most content, warmest, happiest moments of his life. He felt it in the core of his spark. It was a moment he cherished deeply and yearned to feel again.
But on days like today, like most days, he felt no love from his father. Primus! He wasn't even here in the Med Bay. The only familiar voices were those of uncle Praxis and Ratchet, the chief medic and a good from of Optimus' mother. As usual, Praxis was there. His uncle always seemed to be there for him.
Optimus was so confused.
He knew for certain he had his mother's love. Mother never hesitated to give a hug or kiss. She was there to wipe his tears away if he woke up frightened in the middle of the night. She was quick to flash him a smile when he received the top grade in his classes. She always praised him when he had done well in anything. He loved her deeply for that.
And there was no doubt Megatron loved him. As brothers they had a special bond and were always loyal to each other. Such loyalty often infuriated mother when she had to discipline them for some prank or ruckus they caused. Neither would admit who was in the wrong so both ended up being sent to their recharge beds for an hour in their rooms.
'Maybe I'm not trying hard enough,' he concluded.
A raised voice startled him, making him bring his optics online.
"Explain it to me, Praxis!" Rachet protested nearby, his face hot with anger. "Because I can tell you right now that the fall wasn't the whole reason for the concussion blow his circuits took!"
"It's not my place to speak against my brother."
"I'm going to have to tell his mother something," Ratchet exhaled, in defeat. "Optimus doesn't even have a layer of armor yet. He shouldn't be sparring!"
"Please don't, my friend. It will only exacerbate things for Optimus. I promise, I'll talk to my brother. Besides, I was often in the Med Bay at his age as result of my older brother - as is the case with many younglings. You and I know its all part of growing up to become big strong mech wrecking machines."
"Will I ever be one?" Optimus boldly asked as he sat up. "Or will I always get my fraggin aft kicked to Vector Sigma and back?"
"I sincerely hope your mother never hears those words spew from your vocal processor, Optimus!" Ratchet chastised. "And you need to be recharging…lay down."
He pushed Ratchet's hand away before he could make him lay down.
"But will I ?" Optimus demanded.
"Optimus, you're too young to be so concerned with such things," Ratchet countered, forcing him to lay down.
"Can you just answer the question?" he shot back, sitting back up.
"Well, I can't answer it truthfully. I don't know if you'll be big and strong. You sure are one persistent little mech though! Now lay down before I strap you down!"
Optimus flung himself down in dramatic fashion, arms folder across his chest.
Ratchet laughed, "Primus! You're as bad has half the mech warriors that come in here!"
"The Philosophy of Primus teaches us about compassion, for a medical officer you sure don't show any at times!"
"Stop it right there! It's bad enough Sentinel Prime comes in here quoting rules and regulations to me. I don't need a youngling in here quoting Prime's teachings!"
Ratchet glared at him. There was nothing mean about it. There was no anger behind in the least bit. In fact, it was a game between them and Optimus loved to play.
"A warrior must show courage in the face of an enemy," Optimus smiled.
"That's it!"
"He must have a strong moral sense in order to be just and true."
"I'm disconnecting his vocal processor!"
"He must honest and sincere, not just to others but to himself."
Ratchet covered Optimus' mouth.
"To himself most of all!" he managed to get out before Ratchet just started tickling him making him giggle hysterically.
"Ok, ok," Ratchet laughed. "I think that's enough. You do need to recharge. I'll give you something to help you relax."
Optimus nodded and sighed as he watched Ratchet step away.
"Uncle, will I ever be big and strong?" he pleaded, trying a more innocent approach.
Praxis smiled, resting a gentle hand on Optimus' head, "You have one tough, spirited spark pulsing in that chest." He gently tapped the exposed chamber that shielded Optimus' spark. "In time you will do your own aft kicking."
"Praxis!"
"Sorry Ratch. Mechs will be mechs," Praxis shrugged, giving Optimus a wink.
Ratchet merely shook his head then injected a sedative into the exposed wiring in Optimus' neck.
"Be a good little mech," his uncle smiled, then kissed Optimus on the forehead. "Recharge for a bit then I'll take you home to your mother. We both know what a grouch Ratchet can be if his patients don't listen to him."
Optimus giggled as Ratchet rolled his eyes and walked off grumbling.
"Truthfully, I believe you have it in you to be whatever you want to be, Optimus," Praxis seriously said.
Optimus gave him a long look. Sometimes he didn't know if Praxis was being serious or saying only what he wanted to hear. His uncle always had a knack for making him feel better.
"I love you uncle Praxis," he beamed, lying back down.
"Love you too," he smiled warmly. "Now rest."
His optics obediently went offline. When he opened them up again, he was in Praxis' arms. His uncle's warm chest felt comforting as he snuggled closer against the dark blue frame. He loved the warmth of an adult mech. They're armor generated a heat that he didn't have yet.
Optimus sighed.
"What's troubling you, Optimus?"
"Does father love me?"
"Of course he does."
"Then why doesn't he show it like you do?"
"He does Optimus, just in a different way is all. Come on…walk now. Or you'll worry your mother."
Once on the ground, Praxis took hold of his hand and led him up the path. The front door opened and Optimus forgot all about his questions. The sight of his mother always made him feel infinitely better.
"Mother!" he smiled, running to her open arms.
"There's my little sparkling," she cheered, scooping him up and laying a big kiss on his cheek.
"Mother, I'm not a little sparkling anymore."
"You always will be to me. Even when you're a full grown mech."
"Even if I'm taller than father?" he expectantly asked.
"Yes! You are my son and I love you. Nothing in the universe will change that."
"I love you too, Mother."
"OPTIMUS! OPTIMUS!"
He turned to see his best friend in the whole universe running excitedly up the path.
"Hey, little Bee! What's up?"
"Father got me a new toy! I want you to come and see!"
"I have to study, Bee," Optimus said sadly.
"Areya, can Optimus pleezze come and play with mee?" Bee asked, blinking his bright blue optics knowingly at her.
"Oh alright," she laughed setting Optimus down. "But be back before your father gets home."
"Thanks, Mother!" he said giving her a big hug. "I love you!"
"I love you too!" Bee cheered, hugging her too.
"Bumblebee, she's my Mother!"
"Sorry…I couldn't help myself," Bee smiled. "She's the most beautiful one on the block…after mine that is."
Optimus looked up at his mother. Her frame was all white save the soft blue on her chest and shoulders. She was always beautiful to him. But he never compared her to any of the other mothers on the block.
"Uncle Praxis, is my mother the most beautiful mother on the block?" he asked.
Praxis' normally pale blue cheeks turned slightly red and he appeared surprised by the question. But he quickly composed himself and cleared his throat.
"Your mother is the most beautiful femme on the planet," he replied firmly.
"Ok, enough with the flattery boys! Go play!"
Bee squealed with excitement. Grabbing hold of Optimus' hand they raced down the block to where Bee lived. His parents, Solon and Iaso, received a quick but polite greeting from Optimus as they passed through the common room of the house straight to Bumblebee's room.
Bee was proud as he showed off his remote control transport vehicle toy. Optimus always admired how Bee found so much happiness in anything he did. The small youngling was always so optimistic…and mischievous which at times was a bad influence on Optimus. Bee could often convince him to do something spontaneous that he would never have done alone.
They had been playing awhile, talking about stuff mechs their age talk about when suddenly Bee made an odd comment.
"You know, I think Praxis loves your mother."
Optimus gave him a puzzled look.
"Of course he does, Bee. He's family."
"No, I mean I think he loves her."
"He can't love her. Father loves her. Besides, what gave you that idea?"
"This one time, I saw him kiss her…" Bee paused, looked around and leaned closer and whispered, "Right on the lips!"
Optimus laughed, "She does that to me all the time!"
"This was different," Bee stated firmly.
"Bee, you're practically still a sparkling, what in Primus do you know about that kind of love?"
"Only about as much as you do."
Optimus rolled his optics. He knew where this was heading.
"I think that Astra has a crush on you. She follows you around. As do half the femmes in school. I think they would want to kiss you!"
"They do not!" he said, feeling his face plates redden.
"You have such a baby face that they can't resist! One said and I quote, 'My spark would stop pulsing, if Optimus ever kissed me!'"
"No femme would ever say that!"
"This one did! Another said yours is the cutest face ever!"
Without warning, Optimus tackled Bumblebee to the ground. They wrestled around the room, laughing wildly in the process. Suddenly there was a loud crash and they both froze.
"Frag!" Bee whispered as they looked at the broken lamp on the floor.
"BUMBLEBEE!" Bee's mother shouted.
A moment later, his father and mother were in the doorway.
"It was my fault," Optimus quickly said as he got to his feet. He reached down and helped get up. "I started it. I apologize. Please don't tell my father."
"No harm done, Optimus," Solon smiled. "The light can easily be replaced. But the next time you boys wrestle, I suggest you take it outside."
"Yes, Father we will," Bee smiled.
"Good. Optimus, it's time to go. I'll walk you home. Your mother called, your father is on his way."
"Yes, Sir. I'll see you tomorrow, Bee."
"See ya Optimus."