AN: Thanks for everyone who reviewed/ added to favourites or story alert, you guys made my day :) . Apologies for the delay, life got crazy, hence this chapter is kind of short, but I promise the next one will be longer ! Also there are some minor spoilers for season 4 in this..

All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me.
~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XLIII"

If I were more of a poetic person, I would have been able to describe the beauty of the day, but then again I would have to be awake for most of it. If I were paying attention, I'd be able to tell you exactly where I was right now, and what I was doing here two months ago, and if I really cared I would have turned around when I heard my name ' Nathaniel' be called , as I entered the building. uttered in the that ridiculously posh accent that once gave me offers of support and friendship, now which made me pulse which anger and distain each time it was heard.

College parties were always the same, the faint smell of things that definitely not legal. On the outside not somewhere you'd except the supposed cream of new York city to be. the inebriated future leaders of the world gathered around beer kegs.

The part time student DJ spins a song I don't know, all I know is that my heart is starting to ache, must mean it's time for another drink. Grabbing a beer from the now under stocked tub in the corner full of more ice than anything. A curt nod to acknowledge a familiar face, and a smile at that brunette who's had her eye on me since I walked in.

Another hour passing, Sitting drinking, was it my third or fourth? pretending to listen to the girl's story, she'd be my distraction tonight. One arm around the her the other protectively round the bottle. She's young, it's obvious, perhaps too young to be here, her southern accent telling me she's not from the city. A swig from the bottle, a whisper in her ear, that's all it seems to take, she's kissing up on me and I don't stop her, just enjoy the feeling of her warm breath on my neck, and eyes closed head tilted to the floor, wishing it was someone else. Doesn't seem to matter that she's more drunk than buzzed. My conscience is clear or was it clouded by drugs and alcohol ever present in my system.

I wasn't desperate for the body contact, I'm Nate Archibald, I get plenty of that without trying. Each night, getting lucky with a girl at the bar, or a entry from the black book, brunette's, blonde's, it didn't matter, it first started in the Summer, a means of fighting the boredom and supposed heartache that should have come when I broke up with Serena.

'Annie !' the shrill outburst brings me out of my musings, an unintentional laugh escapes, as I recognise the voice of the blonde in front of me. Annie, one of her minions, now fleeing the room.

'Juliet. always a pleasure' I hint of sarcasm in my voice, bringing my gaze to that of hers. Ignoring the crowd that had started to look at us.

Juliet...we had met at a gala held by my grandfather at Columbia's library at the beginning of the semester. We started hanging out, and as college started in full swing, things developed, and were going well. I was well over Serena... and Jenny whom I loved had been MIA all Summer. On the outside she looked like the perfect girl, smart, pretty, charming. Little did I know, she and Blair were engaged in a personal battle to become the 'Queen Bee' of Columbia, one of the things, I came to realise when I brought her to the Van Der Woodsen-Humphrey loft for thanksgiving.

'Nathaniel' She replies shortly, before leaving dispersing the crowd as she went.

With my distraction gone, and my bottle empty, I resolve to leave. Adjusting my sunglasses, disguising my bloodshot eyes as I get up to go, my legs feeling a little limp was I walk, almost losing balance, dropping my bottle loudly on the floor, ' Son of a' I swear loudly, causing people to stare, camera phones pulled out of purses.

I find the exit blocked, by her plaid wearing brother, asking me if I'm OK, and another worried look, the same worried look gracing the face of his girlfriend at his side. I reply with a blank expression. His arm resting on my shoulder telling me I shouldn't be alone when I'm so drunk, mentioning Jenny's name. The sound of her name, making my heart spasm, but all I can do is reply with my fist and I shove past him, Walking out into the rain, leaving the plaid covered Humphrey lying on the floor. Adjusting my sunglasses again, I leave, not noticing the tall Blonde in the corner who had just witnessed everything.