Who's Your Daddy
Synopsis: Harry confronts Snape about his attitude, and recieves a reason for his behavior. It has probably been done, but still...
Disclaimer: don't own the rights to characters, and so don't make money
Rated M for language and adult themes
"Snape!" Harry cried across the recently emptied dungeons.
He of the billowing robes stopped, said robes settling around him. Back still to his student, he turned his head slightly to regard the black haired youth. "Well? What is it Potter?" He demanded, heaping invective on the name.
In a voice almost breaking in anguish, the boy pleaded, "Why do you hate me? What have I ever DONE to you for you to loathe me like you do."
"Thats none of your business." Snape countered in a gruff, quiet voice.
"Yes it damn well is!" Harry countered. "If you can give me one good reason, ANY good reason, I'll never bother you again."
"Fine!" Snape rounded on the boy. "You want the truth so bad? just remember, you asked for it."
"James Potter was a playboy dilettante arsehole, more concerned with having a good time with his hooligan crew of miscreant friends than his education or the feelings of anyone around him. Your mother, on the other hand... Lilly Evans was everything good; sweet, smart, beautiful. She was too good to even spit on James T. Potter." Snapes gaze was far away, on things not visible in the room he inhabited.
"So you feel Lilly should have been yours, is that it?" Harry asked sullenly.
"Lilly Evans WAS mine! we dated for most of our sixth year! But when we got back from summer holidays, she was different somehow; distant, distracted. She broke up with me three months into fall term of our seventh year. I would have accepted that, she was too good even for me. But it was like she was a completely different person, parroting insults and opinions I had heard from James when he had harassed me in his jealousy over being with Lilly. I BEGGED Slugg, even Dumbledore, to check and make sure that she wasn't being controlled somehow, but I had no proof, and in the end, they bought Potter's story that I was just jealous that my girl preferred him. And then, it became clearer that Lilly was pregnant, and you were born. Seven months after Lilly began dating James, you were born."
"Wait, WHAT?" Harry felt the world grind to a halt. Snape wasn't saying what he thought he was, was he?
"Your name shouldn't even be Potter... it should be Snape!" Severus pointed dramaticaly, raising his voice from his normal low, intimidating drawl.
"Wha... Huh...?" The room began to spin for the boy known as Harry Potter
"Thats right Harry. I am your father!" Thunder rolled from outside the castle, despite the clear blue sky.
"no... No, that can't be... can it?" A highly confused Harry attempted to to wrap his mind around this startling revelation.
"Search your feelings! You know it to be true." Snape's voice took on a dire, almost mocking quality.
"So let me get this straight." Harry assumed a thoughtful pose "You think I am your son by my mother."
"Yes." Snape nodded Solemnly
"And that's why you hate me? Because I'm your son." Harry continued in his thoughtful tone.
"Ye... No! I mean I don't hate you." Now Snape was waving his hands in front of him.
"So you left me with my abusive aunt and uncle for ten years, and then treat me like shit from the first day of class? What a douche!" Harry accused bitterly.
"Now see here! Don't you call me names young man! Besides, it's not like I chose to leave you on your own. First, James and Lilly put an injunction in against me seeing you. Then I got caught up with spying for Dumbledore, and by the time your so called parents died, Dumbledore whisked you off to parts unkown. The first time anyone heard boo about you was when you showed up at Hogwarts!"
"That still doesn't excuse you being a dick to me the very first time we met!" Harry said with arms crossed and voice raised.
"The first time I saw you, you were being an ass towards my godson Draco." Snape countered defensively.
"Excuse me? I was being an ass? Every time I turned around, that git was coming up to me and telling me that I shouldn't associate with mud-bloods and the like."
"Yes, well, I suppose he is a bit of a ponce." Snape looked a little embarrassed.
"And what about my first potions class? you grilled me about ingredients, and when I couldn't answer your questions, you docked me points! My first day!"
"I'm sorry about that, I was so excited, having the child of Lilly Evens in my class... She was amazing with the potions. and then you show up and don't know wolfsbane from an aconite. I was just... disappointed. And then, you seemed to have some sort of vendetta against me from then on. I thought that..."
"Yes?"
"I thought that James had somehow poisoned you against me, like he did your mother, and I... I couldn't bear to open myself up to the possibility that you were my son, only for you to throw it in my face. I am sorry, Harry. I failed you."
"Yes, well... Okay then."
An awkward silence descended, for moments or minutes.
"Why don't we let the past be the past. Start over, sort of thing." Harry finally said
Snape smiled ever so slightly. "I'd like that."
"Hi I'm Harry P... Evans." Harry stuck out his hand.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Evans. My name is Severus Snape." Snape took his maybe-son's hand and shook it. A smile broke out on both their faces.
The two talked for a while, and then decided to make their way down to dinner.
"You know the sorting hat was going to put me into Slytherin, but I couldn't stand the thought of having to deal with Draco every day." Harry casually mentioned. Snape nearly guffawed, but also nearly smacked his forehead in annoyance. Damn that git, for ruining everything.
Harry went in ahead of Severus who in turn went to sit at the staff table. Harry went and sat Slytherin table, to the shock of nearly everyone in the hall. Draco almost immediately sprang up from his seat and swaggered over to him.
"What's the matter, Potty? Are you lost?" Malfoy asked in his best mocking voice.
Harry looked up at him tiredly, "I was invited to sit here this evening."
"I doubt anyone here would want to sit with you Potter. Now leave!" Draco accentuated his speech by shoving Harry in the chest, sending him backwards over his seat.
As Draco began to laugh at Harry's misfortune, a shadow fell over him. In a cold drawl filled with fury, Snape addressed him, "Draco Malfoy, you may be the child of my longtime friends and my godchild, but if you lay hands on Harry again, so help me I will hex you until you don't know your mouth from your shit-hole! Now, go sit down, finish your dinner, and report to Mr Filch for detention."
A shocked and sullen Malfoy hurried back to his seat. Meanwhile, Snape helped Harry up, and then pulled up a chair next to him. The two ate in relative silence, but eventually a brave soul nearby at the table asked what the deal was between them.
Later, as Harry headed back towards the Griffindor tower entrance, Ron and Hermione caught him up.
"what the hell was that back there, mate?" Ron demanded
Harry gained a somewhat sheepish expression, "Well, it turns out, that Snape... is kinda my Dad."
Ron gaped like a fish, and managed "Wha...huh...?"
"That's kinda what I said at first." Harry laughed briefly.
"But that can't be right! Your dad is named James Potter! It's in all the histories I read about you!" Hermione denied vehemently.
Harry then proceeded to tell his friends about his day.
And because it kinda fits the theme, both for Starwars (which I also don't own) references and conversing with an enemy, I give you:
True To Form
Synopsis: a silly piece in which Harry and Tom discuss the nature of their conflict. Please pardon the talking heads.
Disclaimer: Nae oenershiffe claymed, noer recompenfe foutte foer thisse fayrre wyrke ov Fanne Fykshunne
Rating: T for mild language
"Wait a minute, wait a minute!"
"What's wrong Potter, going to beg for you life?"
"No, it's not that. How come you get the green one and I get the red one?"
"What?"
"Well, I'm the hero, and you're the villain. so I should get the green light thingy and you should get the red light thingy."
"What are you prattling about?"
"It's like in Star Wars, Luke and Ben Kenobi had the green light sabers, while Vader had the red one."
"This isn't sodding Star Wars!"
"I know, it's just that..."
"I'm not your father Harry."
"Well duh!"
"You know what, never mind. I can't do this right now. I try to set a certain mood, but you just have to ruin it for a pop culture reference. Honestly why do I even bother staying in character when I have to deal with rank amateurs like this."
"There, there. I'm sorry Tom. I know you work hard at this. It's just, I don't know, the whole premise is a little cliche. Any minute I expect myself to start spouting some Inigo Montoya stuff. I mean, who really wants to rule the world these days, anyways? It seems like more trouble than it's worth."
"I know, but... it's like a right of passage. I mean, really I just started the whole Voldemort thing as a way of getting through school, but it all kind of snowballed, and then, what self respecting megalomaniacal villain stops short of the world? It just isn't done. Your minions won't respect you unless you aim for the sky."
"So you do it for your minions. Seems like kind of a poor reason to devote your life to evil."
"To be fair, some of them are hot. I mean, have you seen the Black sisters? Meow!"
"We've still got the Black that can shape-shift, though."
"How was I to know that would happen? Stupid Walpurga, casting out Andromeda just 'cause she had a mudblood husband. I mean who doesn't these days."
"That's another thing. I mean you are a half-blood yourself, and yet you preach this whole Pure-blood supremacy thing. It's kind of like Hitler being half Jewish. Doesn't add up."
"To start with, it was just to fit in. I mean, as far as anyone knew, I was pure as the driven bloody snow. But then, I started wondering if I couldn't get them to wipe each-other out."
"Thats... brilliant. Evil, but brilliant."
"Thanks. I do try."
"Want to go get drinks or something, this battlefield banter, while cool and all, is getting a little chilly too. "
"Sure, why not."