Hi readers! So just to keep my promise to put a trigger warning at the beginning of each chapter there is more discussion of scars and of a bad habit (self harm) in this chapter. There are also more cigarettes. Once again I want to say I am not encouraging self harm or cigarette use. Please don't hurt yourself and please don't smoke. If you need help you can also PM me.

Also if you read this and like it (or don't like it) please leave a review and tell me.

I don't own Holes.

We all eat dinner, if you can call the stuff they give us to eat dinner, in a big room. The whole meal I felt the eyes of the entire room on me. I understand why I'm getting stares, being the only girl these guys have seen since they got to camp, but I can't stand to be the center of attention like this because it reminds me of the negative attention that I get when my scars are visible. I fidget nervously in my seat and hope that none of the D tent boys, who I decided to sit with, notice. Unfortunately Squid is watching me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, "You seem, well, upset."

"I'm fine," I lie quickly, "Just need a cigarette."

"You sure?" He asks and it is clear that he is not falling for my lie.

"Yes," I say, "I'm fine."

Lying is one of the many things that you get good at when you're like me. If I had a nickel for every time I said I'm fine when I wasn't fine I would be very, very rich. A few years back when the lies and the questions were still new I wanted nothing more than for someone to see through my lies. It was strange because if that's what I wanted than I shouldn't have lied in the first place. I guess maybe I just wanted someone to get it. But now I lie and hope no one sees through them. Because now I know that nobody gets it.

Squid keeps studying me the way people do on the increasingly rare occasions that I wear clothes that show my scars. It makes me feel sick and I silently will him to stop. He doesn't and I decide to say something.

"Would you stop looking at me like that?" I ask.

"Like what?" He says.

"You know very well what," I snap.

He looks like he wants to push the "Are you okay?" conversation even more but luckily my dad interrupts us.

"Hello Camp Green Lake!" He says. All the campers turn to look at him and he continues, "As you may have noticed there is someone here tonight that usually isn't here. That person is my daughter Faith. Now Faith's going to be living here at the camp for a while and I trust that you will all be respectful to her. She will be working in the office and please remember that she is an employee here and that if she asks you to do something you should do it just as you would if Mr. Sir, the Warden or I had asked. Also please note that Faith's trunk, which is parked in front of the office, is off limits to campers. Thank you."

After the announcement the stares seem even worse than they were before. Luckily I am finished with my dinner and I quickly excuse myself from the table. I step outside to the porch and pull out the pack of cigarettes once again. I take a cigarette out and put it between my lips. I fumble with my lighter for a bit but soon the end is lit. The smoke relaxes me and in a few moments I am calm. When I turn around I see that Squid is standing behind me.

"Can I bum one?" He asks.

"Sure," I say offering him the pack.

He takes one and places it between his lips. I flick my lighter and the flame dances onto the end of the cigarette. "So," he says, "How long have you been smoking?"

"A while," I say, "I can't remember why I started." I can remember exactly why I started. It was because I was trying unsuccessfully to quit that other bad habit and I thought smoking might replace it. Unfortunately I just ended up with two horrible habits, addictions really, and no hope for quitting either. "What about you?"

"I was a kid," he said, "Maybe ten. I wish I hadn't but I guess now I'm hooked."

"Yeah," I said, "Me too. God do you remember your first cigarette?" He nods and I keep talking, "It wasn't as bad as they make it out to be but it still make me cough and feel sick. I just wish so badly I didn't start but now I'm hooked and I've got no real choice."

"You really get that jumpy without one?" He asks.

"Nah," I said, "I'm just a little shy."

"You don't seem like it," he said, "Driving that pick-up around."

"I'm a Texas girl," I say, "Just who I am."

"Well," he said, "I like Texas girls."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I tease him.

"It means I think you're cute," he says, "And I'd like to get to know you."