Eric had just pulled the covers over his arms when he heard soft crying from Jenny's room. He was really tired, as it was already three in the morning, but he decided to get up and check on Jenny. He didn't want her to hurt herself. He walked quietly into her room and closed the door behind him. He walked slowly to her bed and sat on the edge, just a few inches from her feet. She sat up when she felt him sit down. She couldn't see very well since it was dark, so she asked who it was. "It's me. I heard you crying and thought I should check up on you," he replies.
"Thanks. I think I'll be alright, though. I just, I wanted it to be special, and it was nothing like I had imagined. I wanted roses and music and laughter and love. And I got sweat and blood and tears and hate." she says, pulling the covers away to make room for him.
He found his way to the head of the bed and laid down beside her, pulling the covers over himself. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she lays her head on his chest. "I'm sorry it was like that. It's not right. You should have had your roses and music. And you definitely should have felt loved. I mean, that's sacred, you know? You should feel safe and loved and cared about. You should know that the person you are with loves you and that you love him. I'm really sorry you didn't get that." he says, running his fingers through her hair.
It was a special moment for them. They hadn't had many like it. It was as if time had stopped then, and all that was left was the two of them and their friendship. Because through everything, they still had each other. And, like Eric said earlier, they may get mad at each other sometimes, but if they ever really need each other, there's no stopping them. "What was it like for you? Did you have it like you dreamed of?" she asks.
"Well, no. I haven't really done it yet. I wanted to wait too. I know it must seem silly, but, it's just what I wanted." he replies, with a sheepish smile.
"It's not silly. I wanted it too. I just didn't have the strength to do it. I wish I would have been stronger. I wish I wish I would have at least had someone like you instead of Chuck. Chuck doesn't care about me, but at least, I know that you wouldn't leave me five minutes later for another girl. Or, well, any girl for that matter." she laughs bitterly.
"I almost wish, no, I wish I could have done something. I wish I would have been there. I wish I could have stopped you. You're right about that, though. I wish you could have been with someone who loves you." he said, looking down, not meeting her eyes.
She just looked at him, her eyes filling with tears again, "But nobody loves me, Eric. I mean, I know that Dan and my dad love me, but they are also really disappointed in me and I can't look them in the eye now. Especially Dan. You know, I told you about that time on the roof with Chuck, right? It was at the kiss on the lips party that Blair threw. Dan and Serena saved me that night. Now Dan thinks it was all for nothing because I went ahead and gave myself away to Chuck anyway. I was so scared. I mean, I knew what I was doing. It was my fault, but I was scared anyway. I know it doesn't make sense, but I was scared."
"You shouldn't have been scared. You should have felt safe and loved, Jenny. And I love you. You know that." he says quietly, with a twinge of pain in his voice.
"By the time I wanted to back out, it was too late. I was already too far in. And it was over so quickly. Only ten minutes or so. It was just like Damien said. He told me that it didn't matter and that it would be over quickly. I didn't believe him, but it did go fast. So fast. And I didn't want that, but I didn't know how to stop it. I wanted gentle and slow and, and, I wanted to be loved!" she said, in a loud whisper.
"I know. I know. But even if the whole world turns against you, you know that I still love you, Jenny. You know that, don't you?" he asks, and she nods," Good, now do you want to go out? We can get some ice cream or something to get it off of your mind if you want." he says, trying to calm her.
"I don't know. I'm a mess right now. People might see me and I don't want anyone to see me like this." she says, gesturing to her face and body.
"You look beautiful. Let's go. I'll leave a note for our parents. Come on." he says, standing up and grabbing her wrists to pull her out of bed.
"Fine! But we can't stay out too late. Or early, I guess. I have to be back before everyone wakes up at six. We only have about two hours." she says, putting on her shoes.
"Well we had better hurry then," he replies, walking to the window and climbing onto the fire escape.
He holds out his hand and she takes it. Then they run onto the street and head to the nearest all-night restaurant. "We're going to be okay, Jenny. You're going to be okay," he says, releasing her hand as they sit down at a table.
"Yeah, I think maybe I am." she replies, smiling.
But neither of the could see just how not okay life was about to become.