A/N: First of all, this is my second What Ifs scenario. It's obviously way different than the first one (from Season 2). This one is technically represented in Season 1, but it's a pre-series event. It's based on Veronica's flashback to the pep squad car wash on the day of Lilly's murder. This is going to be a little bit different than some of the other What If scenarios I'm going to do, because the same things still kind of happens. The only thing that really changes is that the events leading up to it and the aftermath are tweaked to be a little different. You'll understand once you read it. So that's about it for the story.

Secondly, if you haven't noticed already I have a touch of an inclination toward LoVe (which means the latest ep Spit & Eggs made me mad & sad). So many of these may have a touch of LoVe, maybe not a ton that it's obvious but some. (I will have a few that are completely LoVe, just to satisfy my what ifs from the more recent episodes).

Thirdly, I have a ton of what ifs listed from pre-series to season 3. But I'm completely open to suggestions. If you have any what ifs you'd like for me to try out you're welcome to add them in on a review (even if that's the only thing you write--though I would love feedback). If I already have it down, I might just do it faster. If I don't then I'll add it on. I do tend to write things that lean toward LoVe, I would love to experiment with other stuff too, so anything you guys have for me.

Thanks a lot! Read and Review! -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars. Dang.

What If: Scenario #2

What if Lilly had shared her "good secret" with Veronica at the car wash?

"I've got a secret." Lilly replied smiling her brightest smil in my direction. "A good one."

"Lilly Kane has a secret?" I exclaimed sarcastically, "Why am I not surprised?"

"You should be." Lilly commented. She lowered her voice and leaned closer to me, "You'll never guess what it is."

"Okay, Lilly, tell me." I said, watching her as she prepared herself to tell me.

"Girls, get a move on. Less talking, more scrubbing." Our pep squad instructor called out.

Lilly giggled, "I'll tell you later."

Lilly moved away to another car. I finished wiping down the window of the car in front of me and moved on as well. I don't know why Lilly's comment stuck with me. Lilly always had secrets. It was just the way she was. It was one of the reasons her relationship with Logan didn't last for very long at a time. I've lost count of how many times they've broken up. Lilly was secretive. She tried to keep an maysterious air about her. She said it was more attractive than the what-you-see-is-what-you-get persona. But if she was always this way, why did this time seem different?

Maybe it was because of the slight change in her tone of her voice, or the fact that this time when she said it was a "good" one she really meant it. To Lilly every secret was a good one, but this one must be an incredible one. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not. With Lilly secrets can be really amazing or terrifying. They aren't the normal innocent secrets, with Lilly they had a different type of depth.

I finished scrubbing down another car and joined Lilly at another car. Maybe I would finally get that secret out of her. It was driving me crazy, thinking about it. Lilly moved around the car and came to stand by me.

"So Lilly, about this secret of yours..." I started.

"Oh, you're going to love this." Lilly smirked. "It's such a good secret."

"So?" I prompted.

"You know that biker guy...Weevil?" Lilly questioned, her voice quiet so no one else would hear us.

"Isn't his name Eli something?" I frowned. Lilly nodded. "What about him?"

"Well...I've kinda been seeing him." Lilly replied nonchalantly, then laughed. "If you know what I mean."

"Lilly!" I exclaimed, my mouth open. I noticed the attention it drew, and added quietly. "I mean, what about Logan?"

"Ah, that's on the rocks anyway." Lilly shrugged, turning back to the car. Her signal that the conversation was over.

It wasn't over so much for me, though. I knew Lilly tended to be a little boy crazy, but she usually could control herself. This time, he was a biker for God's sake! With muscles, and tattoos and a motorcycle! And probably a criminal record! It was just too crazy, even for Lilly.

"But..." I began.

"Look Veroncia, it's not that big of a deal okay? And come on...Logan and me? That was never gonna last in the long run." Lilly cut me off. "We're not compatible the way we used to think we were."

"But I thought..."

"It's not like Weevil is the only guy I'm seeing anyway. I just know that if Jake and Celeste ever found out about him they would probably blow their tops. They'd probably 'forbid' me to see him. Even thought that would be more fun anyway." Lilly laughed. "It would be hilarious."

"So, what? Your parents like Logan too much?" I frowned. It was typical Lilly, and it would still always confuse me.

"Yeah, I guess so. But why are we talking about Logan so much? There are better things to talk about." Lilly shrugged off my question.

"Okay." I replied, "Why don't we talk about the other guys you're seing?"

"Now that's a secret I'm not even going to share with you, best friend of mine." Lilly winked at me..

"Come on Lilly. What could be worse than Weevil?" I asked.

"Believe me Veronica, there are a lot of things worse than the boy with the bike. You're just too naive to know about them." Lilly joked, "And your dad would have a hissy fit if I told you about them."

"Really, Lilly? What are you doing that's so bad?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." Lilly smirked.

We were quiet for awhile as we washed down a couple more cars. I knew their was something about this time. Not only was she seeing another guy when she had a boyfriend--she was seeing several guys. Maybe this wasn't exactly anything new for Lilly, but she usually filled me in on her indescretions against Logan. If she wasn't telling me, it was something big. It was something that would mean trouble for all of us.

The car wash was about to end, and we were finishing up on our last car when Lilly came around. "So, you really want to know? And don't say no, because you've got that look...yes I know that look...when you can't stand not knowing something."

"Okay I admit it. I'm curious." I said.

"Fine, I'll tell you." Lilly sighed dramatically, "It's Aaron."

"Aaron?" I questioned. It had a familiarity to it, but I couldn't place it. It wasn't connecting. Then it dawned on me. "Aaron, Aarone Echolls? Logans dad?!"

"Shush, Veronica." Lilly's eyes went wide.

"But he's so...old." I cringed, "And he's married."

"It's amazing that a man of his age can be so good at..." Lilly started to explain but I cut her off.

"That's okay. I don't want to know." I shook my head. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know. It just did." Lilly shrugged. "It's purely physical."

"I don't know if that's really an excuse." I said.

"It's not an excuse. Do I really need an excuse?" Lilly asked, starting to walk away as she finished our car.

"Lilly...it's wrong." I stated following her.

"That just makes it all the better." Lilly turned to me. "I'm supposed to meet him after this, while Logan's out of town."

"Lilly, you can't go." I shook my head.

"And why not?" Lilly countered.

"Don't you know how much this would hurt Logan if he found out? I mean, it's his father!" i exclaimed, desperately trying to make her reconsider.

"That's why he's not going to find out. You're not going to tell him, right?" Lilly asked me.

"No." I said simply.

"Good." Lilly responded. "I'll see you later, Veronica. Kay?"

"Okay." I nodded.

For the rest of my life I would regret letting her go so easily.

Later that night, on the way home with my dad, he would get a call about a disturbance at the Kane residents. Lilly's house. It was the worst experience, seeing her broken and bloody, sprawled out on the pool deck. I could have stopped it. If I had just tried a little harder to make her not go...maybe this wouldn't have happened.

If I had fought a little harder, maybe Lilly wouldn't have died. Maybe I wouldn't have had to make a statement about her having an affair with Aaron Echolls, and see it splashed across the tabloid covers. Maybe I wouldn't have had to see the look that crossed Logan's face when he found out. Maybe I wouldn't have had to live with the guilt of letting her go. Maybe things would have been different.

Lilly's murder would change me, drastically. The fact that my dad was able to prove Aaron Echolls guilt with tapes he found in Lilly's room--he wouldn't tell me what was on them--and that he was convicted at trial, only slightly eased my guilty feelings. I couldn't get over the fact that I had played a part in the chain of events that would lead to her death. Even when I had my dad to lean on and my mom to talk to. Even when Logan and I found a way to support each other through this troubling time--when we were never very close. Even when I had the closure of having her killer behind bars. Despite this, I was changed. There was this emptiness in me that I knew would never be filled. The innocence that had separated me from Lilly died along with her.

I was different. Everything was different. Nothing was going to go back to normal. Normal didn't exist anymore. I wasn't stupid, I knew Neptune has had its share of problems--but nothing like this has ever happened before. A sixteen year old girl brutally killed in her own home, the kind of reach this had was unbelievable. It affected everyone in our town. But it affected those closest to her most: me, Logan, Duncan. And as I began to deal with how I felt about it...just began to live with myself...everything began to fall apart.

My mom's drinking problem got out of control and it got out that she had been having a long time affair with Jake Kane--long enought that it was possible that I was...I can't even think about it. At the very least it explained why Duncan acted the way he had when he broke up with me. My dad threw himself into his work, trying to avoid missing her. Duncan refused to speak to both me and Logan for a long time--before cutting ties all together. He took off and I haven't seen him since. My overall life experience took a dive, and it made me feel terrible--helpless and alone. The only thing I had left to hold onto was, surprisingly, Logan.

And I held on tight. And he let me. I know he held onto me as well. He was having a rough time as well. Besides the fact that his father had an affair with his girlfriend and then ended up killing her, and was now in jail for it, his mother had sunk into a depression over her husband's actions. The doctors feared that she might attempt suicide. His mother is all he had left after Lilly's death, and Duncan's desertion and now she was slipping away as well.

We clung to each other, leaned on each other. We wanted to make it through this...and we would. We would do it together.

A/N2: Thanks for reading! Again, if you have any what ifs you'd like for me to lay out for you add them in a review. Thanks again! Review and I'll love you! Thanks! -Mac