A/N: I just wanted to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who read this fic! I was so surprised by the comments I got, God, I didn't even believe it was real. I thought no one would like it...
It was sopposed to be a one-shot but your comment motivated me to write more so here it is!
I'm so sorry it took me so long to post it. I've written this part months ago but I didn't think it was good enough to post, but finally I found the courage to share it with you! Hope you like it as much as you liked the first part!
Nice reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own OUaT!
A lost boy - Part two.
When the cloud of purple smoke fades away, Regina finds herself in her vault. And even though the tears are streaming down her face and she's a complete mess emotionally, she moves her hands up in the air and tries to lock the vault's door with magic – she doesn't want to see anyone and just magic can protect her – but it doesn't work.
She curses herself quietly– magic never works when she's emotional.
Groaning in desperation, she sinks down on the cold floor. Her hands clutch that blue blanket she's brought with herself from Robin's campsite as she feels more tears running down her cheeks. She presses the soft material to her chest and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath.
She found her son.
It seems surreal. It seems too easy to be true.
But it is really happening.
She pulls her knees up to her chest and starts rocking herself back and forth, back and forth while her thoughts are killing her from the inside. Her eyes fall shut as she tries to find strength in herself, she was the Evil Queen, she definitely can do better than weep here, but it's useless, everything is useless.
She cries and cries and cries until she's too exhausted to cry anymore. She tries to wipe away tears from her cheeks – she hates being like this – but her hands are shaking, her whole body is shaking too much, so she just lies down on the cold ground of the vault, curls into a ball, pressing that blue blanket to her chest once again, and then finally sleep and exhaustion drags her away from reality.
Someone is touching her, the touch soft and gentle, as if someone is trying to wake her up, but she can't open her eyes, she doesn't want to. So instead of facing that someone, she squeezes her eyes shut and wraps her arms tighter around herself. The ground is uncomfortable, very uncomfortable, but it's still better to lie here than to face reality.
She hopes that that someone will give up and leave her alone and she'll be able to drink a forgetting potion, a forgetting potion which will help to forget about her son. That's her plan.
And fortunately the touch disappears and she almost sighs in relief, thinks that that someone will really leave her alone but then there's a swish and the touch is back.
"I found her," She hears a familiar voice: it's Henry. Her sweet boy is here but he shouldn't. He shouldn't have found her here. He shouldn't see her like that. "She doesn't look injured but something definitely has happened to her… Yes, you call Robin and tell him that I found her, otherwise he may go crazy."
Robin.
She probably scared Robin to death yesterday. What is she going to tell him? She frowns at her thoughts because she doesn't want to think, she wants to sleep and never wake up again but then a chuckle echoes through the vault and yes, she forgot that Henry is still here.
He realized that she's not sleeping. He knows her too well.
She waits for a moment, hopes that he will leave her alone but the boy doesn't move a bit, he just strokes her cheek and with an exhale, she opens her eyes, unwillingly but opens anyway, and comes back to painful reality.
Once her eyes adjust to the light in the vault, Regina finds Henry sitting beside her on a cold ground, a small but sad smile on his face.
"You're such a bad actress," Henry announces trying to ease the mood, and Regina tries to smile, she really does, but fails. Henry's smile is immediately replaced by a frown as he gazes into her dark eyes. His hand lands on hers and squeezes it gently. "Mom, are you okay?" He asks, this time his voice is far from easy, it's worried and even scared.
She feels bad. He shouldn't be here right now, he shouldn't be worried about her like he is. He's a teenager, he should enjoy his youth, have some fun with his friends but here he is – worried about her, worried about Emma, worried about entire Storybrooke. He deserves better than this.
"Mom?" His gentle voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she blinks for a few times before she looks at him and tries to smile.
"I'm fine," Regina assures although she's far from fine but Henry doesn't have to know that. She's not ready to tell him the truth yet. She sits up slowly then and her head throbs so she closes her eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath. "You shouldn't be here," She opens her eyes again and tries to scold Henry but he isn't bothered by it at all.
"I have to be here because you're my mom and I care about you," He objects making Regina's heart skip a beat. In any other situation, she would just smile and say that she cares about him too, but now, when she's such an emotional mess, she can't help but feel tears filling her eyes again. But instead of letting Henry see her like that, she pulls him into a tight hug.
What would she do without him?
"Mom, we should get you home. Everyone is really worried about you," He says when they pull away from each other and Regina smiles at him, this time smile comes easier, and nods her head. Henry stands up first and then stretches his hand out for her making her shake her head at him, smiling.
He's such a good boy.
When they walk out of the vault, it's dark. She wonders how much time she spent there but then Henry starts talking about random things like computer games and Emma's magic trying to distract her.
And he's successful because from time to time she smiles but not because the things he's talking about are funny, no, she smiles because he knows her so well, he knows that it's better not to push her, not to ask about what happened.
After half an hour, they finally reach their home – they could have gone home so much faster but Regina enjoyed their walk, it kept her mind busy and she didn't think about sad things. It's Regina who stretches her arm to open the door but just before she has time to reach the handle, Henry grabs her hand, making her look at him, confusion written all over her face.
"Mom, someone was really worried about you," He starts making Regina sigh. Robin. "And he's here but if you don't want to see him, he can leave," He adds making Regina roll her eyes – when did he become so mature? – shake her head and then she bends the door handle, walking into the house.
Once she's inside she's met by a very worried Robin. Her eyes meet his and before she knows it she's in his embrace, his arms wrapped tightly and in a protecting way, as if he's trying to make sure that this time she won't disappear in a cloud of smoke.
"You scared me so much," He whispers into her hair, his arms tightening around her body.
Regina rests her head against Robin's chest and listens to his heartbeat which is slowly calming down, returning to its normal rhythm. She doesn't know what she's going to say to him, how she's going to explain everything to him – she haven't had time to think about it – but for now she shuts these thoughts and lets herself relax in his strong arms.
"I was so worried," He whispers again and kisses on top of her head several times. He pulls away from her a little then and puts his palms on her cheeks, makes her look straight into his blue eyes. "Are you okay?" He asks, his voice is still worried.
"Yes," She nods her head. "I'm sorry about before, I-"
"You don't have to explain me anything as long as you're okay," He cuts her off and she's so grateful that he, just like Henry, understands when it's better not to push her. "You should rest," He adds after a moment making her roll her eyes.
She wants to say that she slept a lot but sleep was restless, she would wake up screaming or shaking because the nightmares were torturing her, and realizes that she's really tired and sleep wouldn't be that bad.
"Okay," She agrees then, and leans over to kiss him on the lips. Robin widens his eyes at her – probably confused by her answer, she never listens to him – but then they hear Henry groaning, so Regina pulls away and before he has time to say something to her, she turns around and walks up the stairs to her bedroom.
To her surprise, Henry and Robin are walking behind her. It makes her roll her eyes even though they can't see it: she's not a fragile little thing, she's told them she's fine, but they are following her anyway.
Once they are standing in front of her bedroom, she turns around to say that she would like to have some privacy now but before she has a chance to speak, Henry announces, "Mom, your bed is not empty."
Her eyes widen instantly making Henry chuckle at her reaction. She turns to Robin, surprised and finds him grinning at her. Who could it be? She really hopes it's not Snow. She looks at Henry one more time but the boy just smiles and rolling her eyes – they're not giving her an answer - she turns around and finally opens the door of the bedroom and steps into the dark room.
Her breath is stuck in her throat as soon as she enters the room and her eyes focus on a tiny body in her bed, wrapped in white blankets.
Even though it's so dark in the room, she's one hundred percent sure that it's Roland.
"He was waiting for you but then he fell asleep," Robin explains quietly behind her and she nods her head, her eyes unable to leave the boy.
When the tears fill her eyes, she takes a deep inhale, tells herself to calm down; Robin and Henry don't need to know about the boy, she's not ready to tell them, not yet. She manages to stop tears from running down her cheeks, but her heart clenches anyway ignoring her brain because it's not just a boy she adores who's sleeping in her bed. It's her son.
Robin must sense how she tensed because his hand lands on her shoulder, making her look over the shoulder at him.
"I can take him, if you want to be alone," He suggests but Regina shakes her head – no, she really does want to be Roland, she really needs it right now.
"No, it's okay," She assures him.
"I'll sleep in my room and Robin will be in the living room, if you need us," Henry says making Regina roll her eyes for the millionth time this day. Don't they listen to her?
"I'm not sick, I'm fine, I told you," She scolds them but Henry just kisses her cheek, gives her a tight hug, nods to Robin and then he's out of the room. Regina sighs and looks at her soulmate who is still standing in front of her and once again he looks worried. She cannot help but shake her head, "Robin."
"I know, I know," He says, "You just scared me."
He takes a step closer and then stretches his hand out for her and when she takes her, he pulls her closer, wrapping her in his strong arms. She wants to push him away and tell him that she's fine but she understands that he needs it right now, needs to make sure that she's really here, so she rests her head against his chest and exhales.
"Okay, you need rest," He says after a long moment, pulling away from her. She opens her mouth to protest, to say that she's not a sick child, but Robin is already pushing her to the bed and then she finally gives in. There's no reason to fight Robin: when he wants to take care of someone, he always finds a way. It's better to just give in.
Regina lies on the bed as quietly as possible, trying not to wake a sleeping Roland and when she makes herself comfortable, Robin pulls a blanket over her and kisses on top of Roland's head, then pecks her lips, whispers a goodnight, and disappears from the room.
It's not a surprise that sleep doesn't come easily. She lays in bed and stares at Roland who's sleeping peacefully, who has no idea how much she's suffering because of him.
She decides to move closer and she does it as slowly as possible. When she's close enough, she wraps one arm around him loosely and even in his sleep Roland moves closer to her, cuddles into her side and murmurs something in his sleep.
The tears are in her eyes again but this time it's from happiness. It doesn't matter that Roland doesn't know who she really is to him, it doesn't matter that Robin's reaction may be bad when he finds out about it. All that matters is that she's finally holding her little baby in her arms.
And finally, after so long, she feels like everything is in its place, as if her heart and soul have finally calmed down.
After a few moments, her thoughts calm down and sleep drags her away.
That night nightmares don't come.
"Gina," She hears a voice in her sleep, a voice she knows too well, but she doesn't want to open her eyes, she doesn't want to wake up from this dream where Roland is with her. Her imagination decided to torture her for a bit, that's why she hears Roland's voice. It's the only explanation.
But while she keeps analyzing things, her eyes are being opened and even though she's still half-asleep, she manages to see Roland who's the one lifting her eyelids and looking at her with a huge, dimpled smile on his face.
It takes a moment until she understands that Roland is really here, with her.
And suddenly she's completely awake.
"You came back!" The boy squeals, clapping his little hands. Regina opens her eyes then and grins, warmth filling her head.
"Of course I came back," She smiles and pulls a very excited Roland into a hug, "I would never leave you alone for too long," She promises and suddenly tears are in her eyes again but she blinks them away quickly – she doesn't want Roland to see her crying, she doesn't want him to ask questions she cannot answer.
Roland pulls away and now his cute, dimpled smile is changed by a frown. He looks sad or angry, she can't tell.
God, she doesn't understand her own son…
"What's wrong, Roland?" She asks instead of torturing and blaming herself and sits up in the bed so she can see him better.
Roland stays quiet for a while, chewing his bottom lip but then he looks up from his hands at her. His eyes are full of tears and it doesn't take a moment until one big fat tear runs down his cheek. It makes Regina's heart clench – she hates to see him crying, even when she hadn't known he was she son, she still hated it – as she leans over and puts her hand on his.
"Papa told me that you disappeared and I thought I will never see you again," He manages to say before another big tear runs down his pink cheek. "I thought you left me just like my Mama did,"
He is not talking about her, she knows it, but somehow his words bring tears to her eyes. She quickly blinks them away. "Roland, I would never do that," She assures him, "I did disappear but I'm here now," She pulls him into another hug then and Roland wraps his arms tightly around her, rests his head on her chest. She sighs, another wave of emotions washing over her soul, and explains, "I was sad, and you know when you're sad sometimes you want to be alone, right?" When Roland nods his head, she continues, "That's why I disappeared but I promise you, I will never do it again."
Roland pulls away, looks at her with wide eyes for a moment or two. He doesn't believe her, she thinks, he's a little boy but he doesn't believe her.
But suddenly the teary frown on Roland's face is changed by a huge smile and he nods his head for a few times before he hugs Regina again and whispers into her ear as if it is some kind of a secret, "I love you, 'Gina."
She feels warmth in her heart, cannot help a grin which spreads across her face as she presses Roland tighter to her chest.
Perhaps she will never tell him the truth but it doesn't matter as long as he loves her the way he does now.
Regina is Regina.
She hasn't told anyone the truth. She hasn't told about it a single living soul because she isn't ready. She waited until the world will come crushing down on her because it seemed too easy, it felt so surreal and incredible. It couldn't be true. She couldn't find her son so easily without consequences.
But several weeks have passed and Regina got a chance to spent a lot of time with Robin and Roland and, to her surprise, nothing bad happened. Every day she thought that someone will try to destroy her happiness but day after day everything was good and she began thinking that perhaps she has finally found her happy ending.
The relationship between Regina and Robin is growing with every single day, they became even closer (if it's even possible) and finally she thinks she is ready to open up about the thing which hurts her the most. She is ready to show him her weakest and most damaged parts.
After hours of thinking, she decided to do it tonight. They are invited to Granny's, Snow and Charming are going to announce the name of the baby, and at first Regina was categorical – she told she will not go there, it is a bad idea, people hate her and she doesn't trust them as well, it would ruin the evening for Charmings – but Robin convinced her that she should really go (he kind of manipulated her because he told her he won't go without her).
So here they are, already on their way to Granny's, Roland is holding ice cream in one hand, his other hand is holding Regina's, and the Queen cannot help that wide smile that is formed on her face as they walk through quiet Storybrooke.
While it would appear that Regina is completely relaxed, deep down she is nervous, very nervous. She's going to tell Robin the truth, there is no reason to wait anymore. Oh, and let's not forget that it is Storybrooke, it's possible that tomorrow she wakes up with no memory of who she is or in the other world and she wants Robin to know the truth, if something bad happens, she wants to be sure that he knows everything.
So despite that little anxiety, she feels easy and happy.
But as soon as they walk into Granny's, everything comes crashing down (just like she thought it will) because Marian, Robin's beloved wife Marian, is back. And Roland calls her Mama. And suddenly that huge smile disappears from Regina's face.
It's too much.
Everything is too much.
So she waves her hand up in the air and just like a few months ago disappears in a cloud of purple smoke.
Everything has turned upside down since Marian's return. Regina didn't have a chance to talk with Robin after that, she hasn't had a chance to tell the damn truth about Roland and now she never will. Marian is back, she's alive and it means that the fact that Regina is Roland's mother doesn't mean anything anymore. He has one mom already, he doesn't need another.
She's okay with that.
Well, not really, but she will live. She will survive. As always.
The only thing that makes her move on is Henry. He's supporting her in every single step, he is there for her to keep her busy, to keep her mind busy. He is probably the only reason why she hasn't gone crazy yet.
This day started good, too good actually, and Henry even managed to drag her out of the house and go groceries shopping with him (at first she shook her head, told him that she's not hungry, he can always eat at Granny's or Emma's, they don't need food, but he had insisted and here they are.)
But it turns out to be, probably, the worst decision Henry has ever made because as soon as he and Regina walk into the shop, they bump into Robin and his family.
Regina's change is instant. Just a few moments before she was laughing and talking nonsense with Henry, but now she's standing with a stoned face, her body tensed.
"I'm sorry," Regina mutters after a moment of two, taking a step back. She doesn't look up at Robin, her eyes are focused on a little boy standing between Robin and his wife. The boy is looking at her as well but he's holding his Mama's hand, his real Mama's hand, and all Regina can do is smile, trying to keep herself together.
"You don't have to be sorry, we need watch where we are going," Robin assures her and she can feel that he wants to say something more, something what could make her feel better, what could give her hope but he stays quiet.
She blinks for a few times, inhales, exhales and when she opens her eyes, Roland isn't looking at her anymore. He's talking to a woman he calls his Mom now and it makes her heart clench, break into million pieces because she's his Mama.
But he doesn't know that.
And probably never will.
"It was good to see you," She says (lies) after a while of uncomfortable silence. It wasn't nice at all to see him, it was awful and if she could turn back the time, she would never come here.
Robin nods his head and then they are walking away. He and his perfect family.
The anger is building inside of her for no reason. She understands that he's not responsible that his wife came back, it's not his fault that years ago he married a woman he loved. But then Henry snaps her out of her thoughts, squeezes her hand lightly making her look at him.
"Mom, we can leave," She hears Henry say but she shakes her head. She is the Evil Queen, she's not running from anyone so she smiles at Henry and he gives her a look – he knows her fake smiles too well -but she gives him another smile, this time sad and pleading to let it go because she wants to stay strong, and he nods her head before walking to the fridge to get some milk.
Things were bad, very bad, but it becomes even worse when Robin leaves town with Marian. And Roland. Regina feels like her whole heart was ripped out of her chest and crushed because she didn't lose just her soulmate, she also lost her child. Again.
But Regina is a strong woman and once again she proves it to everyone because the next morning she is in her office again, working or at least trying to work (all her thought are focused on Robin and Roland). She acts like nothing has happened, she acts like it doesn't hurt her at all.
And it turns out that she is good actress, after all.
After an hour or two Regina drops a pen from her hand groaning and puts her head in her hands. She needs to concentrate, she has a lot of work, she can't let this town shatter just because its mayor is a little bit heartbroken.
But suddenly the office's door is opened widely and Regina groans one more time, it's probably Snow or Emma with their hope speeches and cheerful tones, and she doesn't want that, doesn't need that, so she mutters go away but the person doesn't listen to her (who listens to her these days?), instead the steps draw near until that someone sits on the chair in front of her desk.
"I want to be a-" She starts, annoyed, but then she lifts her head up from her hands and it's not Emma nor Snow. It's Henry and he's smiling at her for no reason. Well, perhaps Charmings sent him here for a hope speech? "I'm sorry, I thought it is Snow or Emma or even Charming," She explains.
Henry nods his head in response and says cheerfully, "Well, it's me and I have amazing news for you."
"Is Robin back?" She asks but there's no enthusiasm in her voice because it's impossible.
"No, bu-"
"Then I am not interested," She says before Henry has a chance to finish his sentence.
"I found your son,"
For a moment Regina stops breathing. So she was right, Henry and Emma were really up to something. She knew they wouldn't give up. But now, what's the point? Roland is in another world and it won't even take a year until he forgets about her completely.
She feels anger and desperation filling her so she takes a deep inhale, trying to calm down. She's not going to shout nor cry in front of her son, no way.
It takes a few inhales and exhales but she feels calmer, she finally is ready to look up at Henry without being afraid of breaking down.
"You are my son," She states and stands up from the chair, sends him one of her looks which means that she doesn't want to talk about it or about anything at all but Henry is Henry, he inherited hope from his grandparents and he doesn't give up, not on her.
"Your son is-"
"It's Roland. I know," She cuts him off, her voice stern but not as angry as that other time when he tried to talk about her child. But it's enough to make Henry stop talking, he just stares at her and Regina knows that he has a lot of questions, questions she's not ready to answer, not now anyway. So with a sigh she sits back down at the chair – she doesn't even understand why she stood up, probably to calm her nerves a bit – forces a smile and says softly, "I don't want to talk about it. Thank you for doing this but now I would like to be alone for a while."
Henry doesn't leave instantly. He sits as if he hasn't hear what she said but Regina doesn't say anything, she just looks down at her papers, takes a pen and starts writing something down just to make Henry leave. She knows she shouldn't act like that, it hurts Henry, but she needs space, she needs it like air and she cannot help but feel relieved when Henry finally stands up, says that he will see her at home and walks out of her office.
Once the door is closed and Regina is alone, her cheeks are covered in tears.
She doesn't remember the last time she feared something that much. But now, when she found out that Marian is not Marian at all, that it's Zelena, she can't even think straight. Zelena wants to hurt her and everybody knows that and if accidentally the wicked witch finds out that Roland is Regina's son, there is no doubt what she would do.
And it takes just one day until she and Emma have gone on a road trip to find Lily and get Robin and Roland. The journey hasn't been easy (but what is easy for them?) , the stupid accident with Lily seemed bad enough but now the words that Zelena is pregnant echoes in her head over and over again and what happened before seems like a kid game.
Regina is sitting on the couch in Robin's - Neal's apartment, her whole body shaking from shock. And for the first time in years she's glad that she doesn't have magic because she would probably burn down the whole apartment and half of the town.
She feels angry and disappointed, sad and hopeless. It feels like the whole world fell apart in a minute but then she hears steps, one are heavy and other are light, small and easy and she immediately looks up.
They are back.
Robin and Roland are back.
Once they walk into the apartment and Robin closes the door behind himself, Roland frowns. He seems confused, looks around the room and his little frown deepens when he sees Lily and Emma. But then he turns to the side and his eyes widen in fear when he sees Zelena – he knows she's the wicked witch – and Regina can see how he squeezes Robin's hand but then finally he turns to her and his frown is gone. A huge grin spreads across his face as he lets go of his Papa's hand and runs towards her.
In a moment, he is in her arms. His little arms wrap around her neck tightly as she presses him closer to her chest. Her little knight is fine. He's still smiling and he's fine. Zelena hasn't hurt him.
"Oh, Roland," Regina exhales in relief when she's sure Roland is really okay.
" 'Gina, I missed you," The boy whispers, tightening his arms around her.
"I missed you too but now we're going home together and I won't leave you again, okay?" She says and Roland pulls away, looks at her with wide, teary eyes. She wipes away tears from his cheeks and kisses on top of his head. Roland nods his head several times then, hugs her one more time but then he looks around the room and asks where his Mama is.
Regina wants to tell him that his Mama is right here, with him, that she will never leave him again but instead she keeps quiet, and smiles at Emma who says that his Mama is in the car, already waiting for them to join her.
She has promised herself to tell Robin the truth as soon as she sees him but a few weeks have already passed and she hasn't told anything. She still isn't ready or maybe she doesn't trust him as much as she did before.
But since the day they're back in Storybrooke, back together (or at least trying to be together) Regina doesn't let Roland out of her sight. And she felt the way Robin looked at her for a few times, he obviously wanted to ask what was happening but stayed quiet and she is glad, very glad.
But one part of her knows that she has to tell the truth, sooner or later but she will have to do it. She cannot hide it forever.
One evening, when they are walking through the silent Storybrooke, hand in hand, when they have forgotten about everything around them, Regina decides to tell him the truth.
She trusts him again now, not as much as before but their relationship is slowly building again and he seems to trust her as well, and right now she feels so relaxed, everything is so calm. She decides that there's no reason to keep it a secret anymore.
So she takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm and says, "Robin?"
"Hmm? He hums in response and gives her hand a gentle squeeze.
Regina knows she has to tell him, and it's Robin, he will understand. But her body is betraying her mind and tenses and that bubble of anxiety is back in her chest and she starts thinking that maybe it will stay as a secret for a little while longer.
But then Robin gives her hand another squeeze making her snap out of her thoughts. She looks up at him then and finds him smiling a small, encouraging smile (he probably felt how she tensed). Regina tries to smile back but the smile is gone before it even appears on her face and she takes another deep breath.
Concentrate, Regina, concentrate.
"I haven't told you something about myself," She starts with an inhale. "And it may ruin everything between us."
"Well, you're wrong, Milady. Nothing is going to change my feelings for you, nothing can tear us apart," He states and Regina wants to let out a humourless laugh because she can already see his face when she tells him the truth.
"I have another child," She wastes no more time and lets the words slip out of her mouth.
"What?" Robin asks, obviously surprised. He pulls away a little so he can look at her but she's looking at their hands, so he puts a finger under her chin and lifts her head, makes her look at him. She finds him looking at her with a small, confused smile on his face.
Regina exhales, inhales, exhales again, tugs at his hand and walks them to the bench not far away. She sits down on it and Robin follows her immediately. He takes her hand, gives it a gentle squeeze and she wants to cry, she want to cry so badly and she hasn't even told him anything yet.
But she's a strong woman, she holds back her tears and looks up at him. Robin is not smiling anymore, now his face is decorated with a frown, his blue eyes wide and confused. He's waiting for her to be ready to talk but she cannot talk, she needs to memorize him like this, this love and caring side of him because she's pretty sure that once he knows the truth, he will want to do nothing with her.
"Regina?" He asks, squeezing her hand gently, bringing her back to reality.
She blinks for a few times, takes a deep shaky breath and whispers, "I have a biological child."
There's a silence after that. He can hear how Robin's breathing changes, how he tenses but at the same time he squeezes her hand one again, trying to comfort her.
"But I thought you can't-"
"The baby was born before the potion," She tells him. Her gaze drops to their still joined hands as she continues, "When I was married to the King, I got pregnant..." She has to pause, to take a deep breath because her emotions are all over the place and she is step away from breaking down. When she is ready to talk again, she continues, "Once the baby was born I gave him away – well, technically it was my father who gave him away. I was so afraid back then, Robin," She feels Robin squeezing her hand and just then she realizes that she's shaking.
"Regina, you don't have to tell me more," He assures her.
"No, I have to," She shakes her head hysterically and takes a deep inhale, "When you showed me that stupid blanket..." The words fail her. She closes her eyes, tells herself to calm down, to get a grip and tell Robin the truth but it's not helping, it just makes her shake a little bit more. But she finds strength in herself and whispers, "That blanket was my son's."
She looks up at him then and waits until Robin will shout or get angry but he stays still, does nothing. He sits there as if paralyzed. He doesn't ask anything, he just looks nowhere, not even blinking. She starts to wonder if he hasn't stopped breathing.
It is shock, Regina realizes. Well, not every day you find out that your girlfriend is you son's biological mother.
She is patient. She waits and waits and waits but Robin doesn't say anything. She tries to put her messy thoughts in place, tries to find something to say to comfort him but her head is empty and all she manages to do is whisper, "Robin, please, say something."
"It means that Roland is your-" He doesn't finish the sentence, shaking his head. He runs his hands through his hair nervously, inhales, exhales, inhales again and then finally turns and looks at her but his eyes, those eyes which just moments ago were shining with light and love, are empty and frightening.
Regina nods her head slowly and stretches her hand out to touch Robin but he moves away making her heart clench. She knew this would happen, she knew he would be shocked, she knew he would push her away.
"Robin," Her hand is trying to touch him again but before she has a chance to do it, Robin stands up from the bench and starts pacing back and forth, back and forth, running his hand through his hair. He is desperate, he is so desperate right now and she wants to hug him, she wants to comfort him because it's her fault, after all. But she pushes these feelings away and with an inhale says, "He is your son and I understand if you don't want me to be in his life. It's okay."
It seems like he didn't hear her because he doesn't say anything, he continues pacing and shaking his head to himself and it's enough for her.
This mess is too much.
The tears start running down her cheeks and she has to press her lips together to stop her sobs.
"I need to think," He finally says and then he's running away from her, actually running.
She wants to follow him, wants to run as well but she's not stupid, she understands that he needs space. And truth be told, she needs space too.
When she looks up again, he's already disappeared in the darkness.
Everyone has a breaking point. And so has Regina. But she's not the one who shows it.
So the next morning she is sitting at Granny's with Maleficent. There are drinks placed on the table in front of them and it's not typical Regina, she doesn't drink to drown the pain or forget, but this time is exception. This time she needs to do something, otherwise she may go crazy.
And what could be better than a drink with an old friend?
It's their second drink and usually Regina isn't the one who gets drunk easily but she is smiling and joking as if alcohol has its effect on her already.
And Maleficent sees those small, almost invisible tears in Regina's eye but she says nothing about it, she just laughs at the joke she hasn't heard because it's what Regina needs.
The Queen is in the middle of telling a story about her first days in this world when the bell above Granny's door jingles and someone walks in. But it doesn't stop Regina – she doesn't bother to look who's there, she just hopes that it's not Snow.
"Hi, mom," Suddenly Regina hears an unexpected voice behind herself which makes her stop completely. She exhales – she has been ignoring Henry, she didn't want him to see her like that, she thought it's better to push him away – and then slowly turns around to look at her son with wide eyes. "I thought you are missing again." Henry says, obviously worried.
"No, Henry, I'm not missing," She announces and points to the glass on the table. "I'm having fun with my friend and you should stop worrying about me and do the same."
"What happened?" Henry asks making Regina roll her eyes at him. She's not in the mood to listen to hope speeches; she just wants to forget about everything, so she turns to the table, takes a glass and drinks its liquid in one gulp, hoping that Henry will give up on her, get angry and leave. But he stays there, looking at her with wide eyes, "Mom, it's not okay, you know," He states, "We were worried about you."
"You don't have to be worried. I'm fine." She completely ignores his worried tone, "And I would like to have some time with my old friend, not talk about things which make me depressed," She adds and even though her voice is confident, Henry knows that she's not okay.
"You keep running from reality," Henry states but when Regina turns to him, he looks away. He is hurt, and she didn't want that, and he understands why she's going this. She needs time. So he turns around and walks to the doorway but stops before leaving, turns his head over his shoulder to look at her and says, "You will not find your happiness if you act like a child."
And then he's out of the door.
A quiet sigh escapes Regina as she turns back to Maleficent and fakes a smile. But Mal knows her well, just like Henry and Robin, so she doesn't return a smile. From the very beginning she knew that something was going on but she didn't think it was that serious.
"So, I was te-"
"Regina," Maleficent cuts her off, "What's wrong?"
"I don't understand what you're talking about."
"Oh, really?" Mal asks with a raised eyebrow, making Regina sigh.
"It's just-" Before she can finish her sentence, tears fill her eyes. And she doesn't like to cry in front of people, she hates it because she feels weak and vulnerable, but Maleficent is squeezing her hand and it's enough because the tears are rolling down Regina's cheeks.
Maleficent is a friend, a good friend, Regina trusts her, so she tells her everything.
And then she feels better. It's like a stone rolled down from her chest.
It turns out she doesn't need to drink to feel better. All she needs to do is talk.
A few weeks have passed but to Regina it feels like years. Weeks without Robin Hood and Roland by her side are awful, but she is a strong woman, she acts as if nothing has happened, she smiles and mocks everyone, she is sassy like never before but that's her way of dealing with the pain in her chest, that's her way of surviving.
The only person who knows how she's really feeling is Henry. Although she doesn't want him to know what's happening, he's the one who wakes her up from the nightmares, he's the one who sees her crying in the kitchen (and she always blames onions). It's wrong, it's entirely wrong because he shouldn't see her like that but he's her supporter now.
And today is a day like any other, Regina is making breakfast in the kitchen while Henry is sitting at the table and suggesting all kind of movies they should watch.
But suddenly there is a knock on the door which surprises both of them. Regina looks at Henry with a small frown – they weren't expecting anyone – and Henry just shrugs his shoulder, takes a sip of his already cold tea and jumps from the chair, says that he will open and runs to the door.
Regina sighs and turns back to the stove, groans when she sees that she has burned pancakes again – it's not the first time, Henry distracts her with his suggestions and she forgets what she's doing and well, it shows that she isn't herself yet, that something is still not right.
She hears Henry's steps and curses herself quietly – her son is going to be hungry again.
"Henry, I burned them a-" She turns around and finds that Henry is not alone. Robin Hood and Roland are standing beside him and it's enough for her to forget what she was saying. She blinks for a few times to make sure that they are really here, that it's not her imagination that wants to play with her.
"Good morning," Robin greets quietly.
"Hi," She answers and for a moment she looks at Robin but then her eyes drop to a very handsome boy standing next to his father. "Hi, Roland," She says quietly. It's enough for the boy because he realises his Papa's hand and runs towards her.
His little arms are wrapped around her neck as soon as he reaches her and Regina hugs him back immediately, presses his tiny body to herself.
God, she missed him so much, she hasn't even realized that.
"I missed you, 'Gina," The boy murmurs.
"I missed you too, Roland," She says back and opens her eyes – she hasn't realized when she closed them, probably the moment when Roland was in her embrace – and looks up at Robin, who's still standing beside Henry and looks straight into her eyes.
"Roland, why don't you go to play with Henry for a bit? I need to talk to Regina," Robin suggests, then turns to Henry and Henry responds with a nod of his head. Roland pulls away from Regina and smiles at her, showing her his dimples but then he turns around and runs to Henry.
Henry looks at Regina for a moment, his eyes asking if she's okay. He waits until she smiles a little, nods her head and just then takes Roland's hand and they both walk out of the room.
Once the boys leave, Regina sighs. "What are you doing here?"
"I don't want to keep Roland away from you," Robin shrugs and takes a step closer to her, as if wanting to come closer to her, to touch her, but then shakes his head to himself and sits down on the chair where minutes ago Henry was sitting. "And I missed you," After a beat he admits, quietly.
Regina cannot hide that she's surprised – she thought Robin would want to keep Roland away from her as far as possible, and of course he would want to do nothing with her –but she quickly recovers and sits down as well. Just then she realizes that she's wearing a nightgown and a robe, her hair is messy from sleeping and she has no make-up on.
She feels uncomfortable for a moment, wants to excuse herself and change her clothes or at least brush her hair, Robin shouldn't see her like that, no one should see her like that, but then Robin starts talking again, distracting her, "He's your son as well as mine. And I wanted to say sorry for reacting the way I did. But you have to understand me. The mess with Zelena, that accident in Author's story and then out of nowhere you announce that my son is your son and it's just..."
"Robin," She stretches her hand across the table until it reaches his. "I understand, you don't have to explain anything."
"I'm sorry, Regina."
"And so am I," She mutters and gives his hand a light squeeze. "I'm sorry that I destroyed everything between us. But if you are willing to give me another chance..." Her voice cracks and this time he's the one squeezing her hand.
"You did nothing." He assures her. "It just... It's destined for us, I guess." He shrugs, takes a deep breath. "But I love you, Regina Mills, I love you more than you can imagine and these things that happened between us made me realize that. You're everything to me. And I'm so sorry-"
She cannot believe her ears. He doesn't hate her. He doesn't want to push her away from his son. He wants to be with her.
Robin doesn't have to say anything anymore because Regina is standing up and walking to him. Her arms are wrapped around him in a moment, and she holds him so tight, she thinks he may struggle to breathe but she cannot help it. This unknown, this time without him was a misery, she didn't know what was going to happen and now he is here with her, his arms wrapped around her tiny form and finally, after so many hard hours, she can breathe easily.
"I love you," She whispers quietly, her head rested against his chest. It feels a good thing to say because she's wanted to say it for so long, she has waited too long.
His hold tightens around her and he whispers that he loves her too and that he's sorry, so sorry. "It's fine, Robin," She assures him, pulling away a bit.
There are small tears in the corner of her eyes but Robin is quick to wipe them away, to tell her that it's okay and then she's in his embrace again.
It takes a minute – minutes – until they're finally able to leave a kitchen without one of them ending up crying. They walk to the living room then, where Roland and Henry are playing video games, holding each other's hand, squeezing it from time to time.
Once they walk into the room, Henry turns over his shoulder with a worried expression on his face, afraid of what's going to happen if Robin has hurt her, afraid of how he's going to deal with another heartbreak but one look at the couple and a small smile forms on his face because he finds him Mom smiling, holding her soulmate's hand.
Regina and Robin walk further into the room and sit down on the couch beside boys. And the moment Regina makes herself comfortable on the couch, Roland moves closer to her, cuddles into her side and without even realizing it, the boy makes Regina's heart beat faster, it makes tears form in her eyes.
She glances at Robin for a moment, just to make sure that he's okay with that, and finds smiling, assuring her that it's completely fine. She then turns to Henry, who's smiling as well, he knows how much it means to her, how long she's waited for it.
Then the moment of happiness is over, Henry hands Robin a remote controller, gives another one to Regina, so they can join the game. Henry sets up a game and then the room is filled with laughs, shouts and squeals filled with happiness.
And in that moment, Regina understands that she's finally happy. She has Henry, she has Roland, she has Robin and it doesn't even matter that they haven't decided what they're going to do now, doesn't even matter that her sister is expecting her lover's child, it doesn't even matter that her heart has been broken too many times. All that matter is that after all this time her heart finally feels whole.
She's finally found her happy ending.