Miss(ter) Congeniality – An Alex Rider fanfiction
Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider or the Miss Congeniality Plot. I also don't own any TM's or brand names you may encounter in this chapter.
Dedicated to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted and faved the previous chapter
Summary: Alex gets sent to a male teen modelling summer camp with K-Unit as counsellors. Sparks will fly when SCORPIA reappears and someone believed to be dead rises from the grave. Inspired by the film Miss Congeniality.
As Alex and company made their way down to the D.A.S (Disguise and Alias Suite) after being dismissed from the briefing in Blunt's office, he began to wonder horror there was in store for him at this model/assassin screening summer camp.
Upon further reading of the files he was given, they found out that the facility was in the U.S.A, California to be precise and upon arriving in the U.S. They then had to drive from J.F.K airport New York, all the way across the country to California. So basically.... ROAD TRIP FROM HELL!!!!!!!!
M.I.6. Estimated that in the seven seater Mercedes Guardian (I) that they had provided it would take about a week.
"Ah Alex, how nice to see you again! And this is K-Unit I presume. My name is Mary Westler and I'll be disguising you today! Then if you go through that door my colleague Simon Finks will have your aliases ready. Let's begin!" said the woman who greeted them in the basement of the Royal and General. Alex was used to her overly friendly nature, but K-Unit looked slightly perturbed at how hyper she was.
"Okey dokey then Al' let's start with you. Just lie down and a word of advice – don't open your 'till I'm done 'k. Now I'm gonna do a brown rinse on your hair and fit you for some contacts Smithers has been working on that adjust the shape and size of your iris (II). I was thinking maybe a dark green" mused Mary as she spun into action like a hairdresser tornado.
When Alex finally summoned up the courage to open his eyes K-Unit were staring at him in complete shock. He turned towards the mirror and joined them in their open mouthed surprise.
Staring back at him was a teenager with dark brown hair with lighter highlights, tanned skin and before he knew it Mary had slipped dark clear green contacts in his eyes. In short he didn't recognise himself.
"Well if those SCORPIA people recognise you now, I'll eat my hat" remarked Mary, who was returning to the room having selected clothes for Alex to wear.
"Now" she continued "You just hop in there and try these on and I'll start packing your suitcase. Dressing room's just through there"
Alex grinned at her almost motherly concern.
Alex emerged from the dressing room wearing a dark blue Fred Perry™ shirt, a black Bench™ hoodie, black No Fear™ jeans with a multi coloured Stussy™ belt and black Addidas™ trainers (III). That is to say he was 5ft 7in tall walking talking brand name advertisement.
"Like them? My son came with me to help chose but he's a bit younger than you so I wasn't quite sure if he would have the same tastes as you. But you look very good. If I didn't know you better I'd say you were eighteen or more. Anyway here's your case. I put some extra pairs of lenses in the right pocket and some more dye in the left one" said the tiny blond woman, handing him a large canvas holdall bag. Alex reflected that if he was asked to pick 10 people out of a crowd to work for M.I.6 she wouldn't even come close. Standing at 5ft 3in with blond hair and neon blue highlights she kinda stood out.
"Now let's get started on the rest of you. I'll leave your hair alone but contacts are a must I think" she said bustling around them.
"You just want to play with their faces" smirked Alex.
"Let's see blue for Wolf, green for Eagle, brown for Fox and grey for Snake" she continued, as if Alex had never spoken.
"Quick question blondie" growled Wolf " how do you know our names?"
"It's all in the file Wolfy, all in the file" she grinned.
"Don't call me Wolfy, blondie" he snapped back, quickly losing his temper at her antics.
"Stop calling me blondie" she smirked.
"Ok children, let's play nicely now" interjected Alex whilst trying not to laugh. Eagle didn't even bother to try, he just leant against the wall and howled with laughter at the look on Wolf's face. Ah well he's weird.
"Right now I've worked my magic on you, it's time for you to visit my partner in crime...... I mean justice, right Al'! Oh Simon! Time to play!" sang out Mary whilst prancing around the room. Alex just smiled and walked through the door to the alias room. K-Unit followed closely behind him.
"So is blondie always that psychotic?" asked Wolf.
"Pretty much" replied Alex.
"I heard that" she yelled.
Simon Finks was about 5ft 10in with dark hair, brown eyes and pale skin. He was as quiet and reserved as his partner was loud and bouncy.
"Hello. My name is Simon. I already know you Alex and you four must be Wolf, Eagle, Fox and Snake" he said, whilst picking an invisible speck of dust off his impeccable suit and silently sizing them all up. He handed each of them a folder and said,
"Your aliases, fake papers and in the case of K-Unit driving licences are within these folders. If you have any problems my contact in the U.S. should be able to sort it out. If you would like to read through your folders, you should find everything. And now Alex I believe Smithers may have some 'toys' for you. I'm sure you know the way by now."
At that he turned away and began to fiddle with some printouts.
"I believe that's out cue to leave" said Snake in a stage whisper.
As they walked along the corridor towards Smithers lab Wolf turned to Alex and asked,
"And is he always that creepy?"
"Pretty much" Alex answered.
As they reached the waiting area outside Smithers' office, his secretary looked up and informed them that there had been 'a bit of an incident' so Smithers would see them in about ten minuets.
"Ok so let's look at our folders while we wait. Al' you go first" said Fox.
"You've picked up on Mary's name for me I see. Ok here we go" started Alex.
Theodore Tracey A.K.A Alex Rider
Age: 15
Height: 5ft 7in
Physical Condition: Excellent
Special Skills: Karate Black Belt
Experience: 3 amateur catwalk photo shoots
Portfolio: Attached overleaf
Born and raised in Denver, Colorado. Parents, David and Theresa. David is 45 and a banker. Theresa is 41 and an amateur photographer. Theodore's hobbies include white water rafting and rock climbing. His camp fee was paid for by a third party scholarship.
Additional notes: Alex you need to remember about your accent, mannerisms and spelling; we don't want a repeat of SK.
T. Jones
"Yeah like I'm gonna forget that" muttered Alex "Ok Snake, let's hear yours".
"Ok but if I have a prissy name like you then I'm switching" quipped Snake.
Max Baker A.K.A Snake
Age: 28
Height: 6ft 3in
Physical Condition: Excellent
Special Skills: Trained as a medical officer
Experience: 4 previous summer camp
References: Attached overleaf
Born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. No further information required.
Additional Notes: Regular health checks for Alex would be a good idea as he has recently suffered several injuries ITLD (in the line of duty). Also remember accent ect.
T. Jones
"Wolf your go" said Eagle.
Brandon Fillion(IIII) A.K.A Wolf
Age: 28
Height: 6ft 5in
Physical Condition: Excellent
Special Skills: Trained in bomb disposal
Experience: 2 part time day camps
References: Attached overleaf
Born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. No further information required.
Additional Notes: As unit leader Alex will defer his findings to you; however you need to respect that his level of experience in these types of missions is greater than your own. Also, please remember your accent ect.
T. Jones
"Eagle go" said Snake.
Nathan Fraiser A.K.A Eagle
Age: 26
Height: 6ft 2in
Physical Condition: Excellent
Special Skills: Weapons expert
Experience: None
References: N/A
Born and raised in New York City, New York. No further information required.
Additional Notes: Please remember your accent ect.
T. Jones
"Your go Fox" said Alex.
Ben Daniels(IIIII) A.K.A Fox
Age: 27
Height: 6ft 1in
Physical Condition: Excellent
Special Skills: Negotiations training
Experience: 6 previous camps
References: Attached overleaf
Born and raised in Washington D.C. No further information required.
Additional Notes: As you have worked with Alex before, he will probably trust you more than the others. Please remember your accent ect.
T. Jones
"Ok Alex, Smithers will see you now".
(I)Twilight Breaking Dawn reference
(II) Loosely borrowed from Amitai's fic 'A Working Day'
(III) I basically just looked at what my brother was wearing. Then he asked why I was writing down the name on his belt. Ah well he already thinks I'm insane. I've never even been to Paris so how I could have jumped in a river is beyond me. ;P
(IIII) Mix of my favourite actors names
(IIIII) Snakehead spoiler
A.N. Hi! Sorry it's a bit late but I wrote it all out, then I had to type it all so it took a bit longer than expected. Plus the new level of my medication is messing with my sleep pattern a bit. Hope you like it.