Tarantism-the uncontrollable urge to dance
He doesn't know when he first met her. She's been there two steps behind him for as long as he can remember, her blonde hair spiralling around her as she spins and her laughter fills the entire room.
That's Richelle.
At least that's who she used to be. They're the only ones left from the ten odd of them there used to be. His mum says they met in baby ballet and Noah who was back then the quiet one had asked her to dance with him at the end of the session saying that he felt an uncontrollable urge to dance with her. The words had sounded funny coming from a five year old apparently and Richelle had laughed at him for the first time and said no. Her mother had later explained that Richele had developed a fascination with the word recently and said no to everything when he'd run to complain to his mum that the little blonde girl didn't like him.
He didn't believe her then but he couldn't help but feel that Richelle's fascination with the word still hadn't ended. It allowed her to form boundaries around herself he knew. Saying no allowed her to feel powerful in a way that nothing even dance did because it meant she could control whatever she had to do. Richelle had never hesitated to say no to him as children. She couldn't hang out because she had to finish working on her spins or do her homework or play the piano.
He never stopped though. Whenever she said no he just squared his shoulders, gave her the space she said she needed and he'd leave with her piano playing filling his head as he goes home. Her delicate fingers darting over the keyboard nimbly even just at 9 or 10 dancing up and down the octaves as she coaxes sound out of the tired instrument in the music room.
...
The she said yes though unlike the first day she said no to him he remembers. She was 11 and he was 12 and like always they were waiting to be picked up. They were always the last two left. She was sitting in the music room cross legged her hair falling out of a french braid her mother had clearly done and it was caught in the suns ray. She had been doing her homework and she was gnawing on the end of a pencil. It was courtesy a habit when he stopped in to check on her and ask if she needed anything. And she said yes and asked him to help her with her maths. The questions were easy enough as he'd studied the same things not a year ago but thinking of what to say when she looked up with a dimpled smile consumed his thoughts as he helped her.
She never said no to him again for years. They'd sit in the music room whilst they waited for their parents and ignore each other for the most part but Noah never did as well in school as he did then doing his homework in Richelle's quiet company. It was a delicate balance. He didn't push her because he never knew what it would take for her to start saying no to his company or to just blank him out of her life erecting the walls that Noah had spent over half his life breaking down.
...
They sat like that for two years until Richelle upon hitting thirteen and officially entering her teenage years became a butterfly. She still sat with him after dance class but with Gabi or Camille chatting about dance class and whatnot. He never joined them but Richelle never asks him to leave and he instead just practises the guitar or his latest dance move whilst he waits. He's glad though that Richelle has finally come out of her shell enough to talk to him and the other two girls so it's enough for him.
In dance class she becomes the leader and they all listen to her because when someone who has been quiet and withdrawn as Richelle has for so many years starts to talk you have to listen. She's the best after him and Noah can't help but think that their hours in the music room training together yet alone have been paying off. Besides when she smiles at him charmingly and asks him to have a juice before they go to the music room Noah doesn't consider saying no to her and they grab a juice. No one can consider saying no to Richelle ironically enough nowadays and everyone in the dance studio is wound around her little finger. Noah knows this but he doesn't care because he was wound around her finger first.
Richelle grows reckless on this love and almost adoration. She challenges more and more with her chin upturned demandingly but she always rises to meet the challenge she sets. Her aerials and pirouettes benefit as she gets extra lessons outside of class until she's flying around the dance floor with the same grace her fingers used to have on the piano. Noah works just as hard in that little music room after even she's gone. She doesn't realised it maybe but she's challenging him to keep up and Noah's not going to say no to her after all these years and let her down. So he practises for hours and grows stronger and they both leave everyone behind. He doesn't mind letting her be the leader though he'll follow her anywhere he can't help but think.
...
She's fourteen when someone finally says no to her. It's miss Kate and somehow the very act of someone saying no to Richelle of setting up boundaries of their own rocks her world. It was her thing to say no to people and it wasn't supposed to work the other way. She's old enough now that people can't just saying yes to her so they don't her face fall. She hides it from everyone but him and when he asks he knows she wants to say no. But she doesn't and instead tells him that she forgot to some homework at school.
He knows she's lying.
If nothing else Richelle would never forget to do her homework. But she doesn't meet his eyes and Noah wishes she said no. At least then he'd know that something was really wrong. He doesn't say anything and watches as her smiles grow wider, her pirouettes tighter and the bags under her eyes grow larger. He wonders why no one else notices but no one else cares as Richelle spins herself like a wind up toy tighter and tighter. Noah fancies that one day she'll break like the music box his little sister had when she spun it too much but Richelle like the ballerina on top of the music box continues dancing.
Sometimes it's like it used to be when they sit together but their silence is charged instead of comfortable and Noah wants to say something to her. To shock her into telling the truth and telling him what's wrong but he doesn't. Because even if she's lying to him and everyone else at least she's not saying no to him and he doesn't want her to start saying no to him ever again.
...
Everything changes again the next year when finally aged 16 he makes it into A troupe. Richelle doesn't make it and she's angry and she rages and rants at him. Because she's never not been good enough. Her talent and hard work always have been enough to get that yes that she craves. Finally someone's saying no to her and it's her own fault. That sticks at her for months spurring her on and he never sees her anymore she's always tucked away in their music room with the door closed and music blaring out. He opens the door once to check on her and they chat and they laugh and it's almost like old times. Then West tells him he has to get to training and something in Richelle stiffens up and she turns the music on and she's spinning in the mirror and spotting herself before he's even picked up all of his stuff.
The next time he comes to talk to her is to ask her about Abi. The blonde girl came from elite to join the next step when they merged and she's pretty and most importantly she's different to anyone he knows. He can tell just by watching her that she's done years of ballet which form the basics of her dance and thus unlike his friends on B troupe and from J troupe. Richelle says yes and she helps him. But once he's with Abi she ignored him more than ever and continues to train in the music room only now she locks the door.
...
She makes it into a troupe a year later and Noah sees the same upturned chin when she used to challenge someone to meet her expectations. Now though she's challenging the entire team telling them that she's coming for them and Noah's almost afraid of the single mindedness he sees in those eyes. Eyes that will now say no to anything which will get in her way.
Those eyes get turned on him when he almost drops her during the qualifiers routine but he apologises and whilst he knows that she hasn't forgiven him at least she's not angry at him. That doesn't him stop him from confiding in Amanda though. He needs someone to talk to and Amanda's as good as anyone. She doesn't say no to him when he asks to talk to her and doesn't think she ever will. He didn't realise how much he missed being indulged with the safety of knowing that you can do what you like because someone will be there for you. He's finally able to honest with someone and say what he thinks because before he was the one who was scared of rejection. Now he nows that Amanda will be there for him whenever he needs her and never turn him down and he loves her for that. He needs the unconditional love she offers him and offers her the same in return.
...
Maybe that's why it hurts so much when she goes on tour and leaves him behind. The only person who was always there and would never say no to him suddenly says no and leaves him behind. It must be his fault he must have done something to drive Amanda away but he doesn't know what and he can't help but feel like shit for the rest of the year.
He lashes out wanting someone anyone to care about him. Maybe it's because he's been told no for so fucking long that he's snapping but he just wants someone to say yes to him and to tell him that he's not an idiot and all that rubbish but the second he sees Jacqui he knows that she'll do that for him. She's warm where Richelle was cold and she says yes to him regardless of what he asks her.
...
He knows it's a mistake.
He shouldn't commit to her because she makes his stupid ego feel better but he just wants to be told yes and not have to fear a no so he goes for it. She doesn't say no and he feels almost like he's preying on her and her stupid innocent heart because as he watches she falls for him and gives him all the yes's he needs. He's addicted to the feeling from her agreeing to him that he can't say no to her either. He's on a rush and then Noah says it to Richelle.
What he's been wanting to say to her for years. That it's his fault that the duet's not working. It's her fault. She's the one who can't connect with anyone. She's emotionally stiff. She's broken and battered and bruised. And he hates himself for saying it but he just wants Jacqui to say yes to him to give him what he needs. He watches something break in her eyes but she doesn't shed a tear and instead swallows hard and turns back to the dance. She doesn't look at him again as they dance together but yet alone like when they were children in the music room.
When he takes her captaincy away from her he sees the shards from whatever broke in her eyes that day smash further amongst themselves until there's nothing left behind her green eyes but steely determination which is what keeps her dancing. Because if she stops and sits down Noah can't help but feel that she might just not stand up again.
...
He doesn't realise she's not there when they make it into regionals until he hears Ozzy talking to Lola about the fact Richelle's in hospital. He hates that he didn't know where she was. He hates that she told Ozzy not him their supposed to be best friends aren't they. He hates the way he shakes Ozzy once everyone's gone because he needs to know what's happened to Richelle. But Ozzy doesn't tell because Richelle told him not. And he hates that Richelle is saying no again.
...
It's months before he sees her again. When he does she's in the music room playing the piano. Her hair's loose and her leg propped up on a stool and she's as talented as ever. Her hands dance across the keyboard and he watches her play. How did he miss it. How did he not see that her body was breaking. How did he fool himself into thinking he didn't care about the little girl who said no to him and into thinking that she didn't care about anything.
"Hey," He says finally as his thoughts drive him out of his own mind.
Richelle looks up and he only now sees the tear tracks coursing down her face but she's not crying anymore, "Hey." her voice is weak and understated but her resolve is as strong as ever.
"Are you alright," Noah says gently leaning on the piano.
Richelle shakes her head and laughs bitterly, "I just feel an uncontrollable urge to dance."
She has no way of remembering that Noah said that to her when they met. Hell Noah doesn't remember saying that to her but Noah smiles before offering her his hand. She takes it and they sway to the music slightly. He doesn't react when he feels a wetness from her tears on his t-shirt and he doesn't look down. For the moment he's content just to hold her as they dance. It doesn't matter to him that she's not fully there because he isn't either. He's in the memories of two children determined to outdo each other and of the piano being played as they spin carelessly.
AN. So yeah this ended up being a lot deeper than i thought it was going to be when I started this one shot. I love these two little beans though and I love their journey from being kids on the same team to adults on first different and then the same team. And i tried not to be too harsh on Noah because his cluelessness really annoys me sometimes especially when it comes to Richelle because he never seems to see her properly and goes from being her best friend to ripping her apart for another girl so i hope this makes his motivations more understandable.
So everyone and anyone whose reading in this I need your advice. Because i think I'm going to start writing a multi chapter story about the next step but I'm not sure if it would be better to wait till season 6 airs/finishes airing though as I live in England that could be a while. Would you guys like me to just start that now and ignore the events of season 6 as season 5 ended quite openly so I'm not sure exactly where I'd go from there or would it be better if I just write some more oneshots about my favourite characters and ships to fulfil my next step needs whilst I wait for season 6 to air. I'm not sure personally so please tell me what you want via review or pm because if I don't get any response I might just not do either because I'm really busy.
Send in your favourite ships and prompts if you want more one shots so I can write what you guys want to read but I may not write every ship if they're not one my favourites as I'm fifty fifty with the majority of the next step ships. I really hope you guys like this because I'm personally very proud of this one shot and my huntmily one so I hope I'm not just being deluded about my ability as a writer.
Lots of Love and Hope to hear from you soon
Verity XxX