Disclaimer-Dis r not mai storey.

Chapter 1- The messed up picnic.

The nations had all taken airplanes and met up at the airport. (1)

"Where is Feliciano?" Ludwig asked, looking around. "I hope he didn't get lost…again."

"Hey Ludwig!" Feliciano came skipping up to him. "We're sleeping together right?!"

Arthur, who was standing next to Ludwig, gave them a weird look. (2) Lovino looked as if he we're going to choke. "You…you didn't…" he stammered. "Not my baby brother you Potato Bastard!"

"Yes Feliciano, we're ROOMING together." Ludwig said loudly so no one would misunderstand.

Lovino still glared at him. "I'll be watching you Potato Bastard."

"Hey everyone!' Alfred shouted. "Time to get on the busses!"

There were two busses; Bus A and Bus B. Bus B consisted of Alfred, Arthur, Francis, Yao, Ivan, Feliciano, Ludwig, Kiku, Roderich, Elizaveta, Vash, Liechtenstein, Lovino, Matthew, and a few other countries. The Allied Powers and Axis Powers as well as Lovino, Matthew, Vash, Elizaveta and Roderich all sat at the back of the bus.

"Do you guys want to play a game?" Alfred asked. "It's an alphabet game, called the picnic game. The first person says "I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing…a food that starts with the letter A." Then the next person says "I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing the food that starts with A and a food that starts with B." And it keeps going around like that. If you forget a letter you're out and the last person has to go through the whole alphabet."

"Sounds like fun!" said Feliciano.

The others agreed as well.

"I'll start." said Alfred. "I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce."

Kiku-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce and…bunnies."

Ivan-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies and… carrots."

Ludwig-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots and…dogs."

Feliciano-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs and…eggs."

Arthur-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs and…faggots."

"WHAT?!" Lovino said.

"What's the problem?" Arthur asked, looking very confused. "It's food (3)."

"I think he thought you meant another version of the word." Ludwig said.

"Whatever he meant he doesn't matter, let's continue." Vash said. "I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs …faggots and…ginger ale."

Yao-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale and…hot sauce."

Elizaveta-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce and…idiotic hermaphrodites!"

"WHAAAAAT?!" the other nations looked disturbed.

"It's all I could think of…"

"Dude, what's going on with your wife?" Alfred asked Roderich.

"She's not my wife anymore." Roderich said, turning his head away and blushing.

Lovino-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce…idiotic hermaphrodites and…a jigsaw puzzle."

"Who has M?" Alfred looked around.

"I do." Matthew said quietly.

"Who said that?! Waahh! A ghost! The bus is haunted!"

"Calm down you blithering idiot!" Arthur said. "It's only Matthew."

Matthew-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle and…Kyle." (4)

"Who's Kyle?" Ivan asked.

"A friend of mine back at home."

"That doesn't count, it's a name." Arthur said.

"Don't be such a fuddy duddy Artie!" Alfred said, ruffling Arthur's hair. "I think it should count."

"Don't touch me." Arthur pulled away.

Roderich-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle and…ladybugs."

Francis- "I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs and…man whores!"

"Who the bloody hell brings that to a picnic?!" Arthur shouted.

"Obviously you've never had a picnic in France." Francis chuckled.

Arthur shook his head. "Why did I agree to this?"

Unlike Arthur the other nations found the weird suggestions to be very funny and they all decided to suggest unusual things when it was their turn.

Alfred-" I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs…man whores and…Nick Lachey!"

Kiku-" I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey and…Oprah!'

Ivan-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah and… polite retards."

"Aww, I wanted P." Feliciano pouted. "I had the perfect food!"

"Let me take a wild guess," Ludwig sighed under his breath.

"Are we there yet?" Arthur asked, almost pleadingly.

Ludwig-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah… polite retards and…Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin!"

Feliciano-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards …Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin and…rainbows."

Arthur-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows and… Sisia." (5)

"Hypocrite!" said Alfred. "You told Matt he couldn't suggest any names and then you say someone's name on your turn!"

"It's all I could think of!" Arthur said, his cheeks turning pink.

"Who is that guy anyway?"

"A high school band teacher I met during my last visit to America. He's quite good."

"Hello Onii-chan." A quiet voice said. Liechtenstein had walked to the back of the bus.

"Oh hello Liech." Vash said.

"I heard a lot of commotion back here. It sounds like you're all having fun." (6)

"We are!" said Alfred. "We're playing the picnic game. Vash, it's your turn."

Vash didn't want to offend his little sister so he tried to censor the weird suggestions.

I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, … happy people…ginger ale, hot sauce, …people…who aren't very smart and you can't distinguish their genders… a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, …uhh a special kind of people… who uhhh…" Vash fidgeted nervously.

"I think I'll to back to the front." Liechtenstein left, sensing how uncomfortable her brother was.

Vash breathed a sigh of relief. He continued; "I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows, Sisia and…tequila."

"Tila?" Alfred asked.

"NO." the other nations said in unison.

Yao-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows, Sisia, tequila and…an umbrella."

Elizaveta-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows, Sisia, tequila, an umbrella and…volumizing shampoo."

"Oh for the love of God!" Arthur buried his face in his hands. "Can't anyone bring something normal?"

"Come on Artie, loosen up!" Alfred said. "Whatever happened to Monty Python?"

"I never associated with those insane gentlemen. And would you please stop calling me Artie?!"

Lovino-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows, Sisia, tequila, an umbrella, volumizing shampoo and…Waldo! You know, the guy from the picture books."

Matthew-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows, Sisia, tequila, an umbrella, volumizing shampoo, Waldo and…a xylophone."

Roderich-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows, Sisia, tequila, an umbrella, volumizing shampoo, Waldo, a xylophone and…a yo-yo."

Francis-"I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing applesauce, bunnies, carrots, dogs, eggs, faggots, ginger ale, hot sauce, idiotic hermaphrodites, a jigsaw puzzle, Kyle, ladybugs, man whores, Nick Lachey, Oprah, polite retards, Queen Latifah's 3rd cousin, rainbows, Sisia, tequila, an umbrella, volumizing shampoo, Waldo, a xylophone, a yo-yo and…a zebra!"

"Finally!" Arthur said, sounding exhausted.

"Woo! That was fun!" Alfred said. "Now let's play a new game: You're stranded on a dessert island with a lizard and a guillotine, what do you do?"

"Let the lizard do his thing, use the guillotine to cut up coconuts and, when I get bored, kill myself with the guillotine." said Elizaveta.

"I'd eat the guillotine, find some plants that can make you high, get high with the lizard and have some crazy times." said Ivan.

Everyone stared at him.

"You'd EAT the guillotine?" asked Francis.

"Yup. And I think it would be fun to get high with a lizard."

"This is going to be a loooong trip." Arthur sighed.

XxxxxXxxxxxX

Oh Arthur, you have no idea how long.

(1)Where? I don't know. We took a coach bus, not an airplane.

(2)Yes, this actually happened! Some guy said "Hey *name withheld* we're sleeping together right?!" really loud and my band teacher came out of his office and gave them a funny look. He knew that the guy meant "We're rooming together" but still, he said it in such a weird and funny way!

(3)Faggots are a kind of meatball in the U.K.

(4) That is one of the guys who was involved in the game.

(5) My band teacher.

(6) It was actually Mr. Sisia who came to the back of the bus! The censoring thing really happened too.