Getting home that night was a nightmare. I had to be escorted by two body guards and when I finally reached the high rise apartment my dad (and some money I'd saved up from the band) had bought me for my eighteenth birthday, I was exhausted.

I walked straight into my bedroom sat down on the side of my bed, tears filling my eyes again and resting my head in my hands. I'd been stupid to think Nat would ditch Kristina just for me...sure he'd been "in love" with me a long time ago but that's when we were kids. When drama didn't exist yet. And now...now it was everywhere.

Flashback- two months earlier- The Wolff Apartment

"That was our best show ever!" Nat exclaimed excitedly as all of us walked into their house and took seats in the living room. We'd just finished playing a benefit concert and were going back to the Wolff's after the after party to get all of our stuff before going home because it was late.

"I know! And we owe it all to you!" Kristina exclaimed, kissing him.

I looked away and locked eyes with Quaasim who was the only know who knew how I still felt about Nat.

He smiled apologetically and went back to talking to everyone else.

"Alright people...get out. I'm tired." Alex mumbled. He was only fourteen and staying up to the super early hours every night didn't exactly go well. Everyone laughed as he walked off to his room.

"I should get going too, night guys!" Kristina exclaimed, totally ignoring me as usual and kissing Nat one more time before leaving.

Everyone else slowly shuffled out until Nat and I were left, sitting alone.

"I should probably get going to." I said, standing up and started to leave.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. I turned around slowly. We hadn't been alone together in a long, long time.

"It's really late...you can um crash here if you want. My dad's out of town so...you could take my room and I can have his room." he offered. I frowned.

"Why wouldn't you make that offer to Kristina?" I asked, more venom in my voice than I'd intended.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It's different with you...you're Rosalina." he said.

"You haven't even had a normal conversation with me since you started dating Kristina." I said quietly.

He just stood there for a minute.

"Why do you care?" he asked.

"I don't know. Forget it." I said turning away and starting towards the front door. He jogged over to me and grabbed my wrist.

"Wait. I'm sorry...I just-"

"Do you really love her?" I asked, not being able to help myself.

He hesitated for a minute.

"Yeah...I mean...I guess."

"You guess or you know?" I asked.

He didn't say anything.

I laughed sarcastically. "Well you wanna know something? I know who I love. And he doesn't love me back so you better thank God Kristina's so obsessed with you that she'll stick by you even when it's clear that you don't love her. Because I know you don't." I exclaimed. He didn't protest.

We stood there in silence for a few minutes before he cleared his throat.

"What- what kind of guy wouldn't love you back?" he asked quietly. I sighed and grabbed his wrist, pulling him over to a mirror that was hanging on the wall.

"This one."

His face was unreadable as he turned around slowly, looking down at me.

"I-" he started but cut himself short, leaning down, grabbing either side of my face and kissing me.

When he pulled back we just stared at each other, neither of us knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry." he said so quietly I barely heard it.

"Don't be. I should up...I should probably go." I said, picking up my purse and then walking myself out the front door, closing it behind me.

I stood there for a second, regaining composure. I don't know if it was the rush from what had just happened, or all the pent up feelings, but something caused me to turn around and knock on the door.

Nat opened it almost instantly and the next thing I knew, my bag was on the ground and I was back in his arms, kissing him.

Slowly he stumbled back against the door to his room, taking a step back, before pulling me in, and closing the door, his lips never leaving mine.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my Blackberry, quickly typing a message to him.

To: Nat

Please come over

I waited five minutes and there was no response. I walked out into my kitchen and opened the fridge, finding nothing but a six pack that my dad had left at my house when he'd had his superbowl party there because it was almost nicer than the one he lived in now and a leftover pizza.

I slowly, without thinking reached for a beer. Now normally I didn't drink, and I knew I shouldn't have been drinking then. But the stress and the sorrow, it was all getting to me. I pulled it out and opened it.

"One little drink won't hurt." I whispered to myself, before popping it open and taking a sip. I almost gagged but if It could help me forget about all this...what the hell?

I took another before I heard my front door open and I whirled around to see Nat standing there staring at me.

"H-how'd you get in?" I asked.

"You left a spare at my house. What the hell are you doing?" he asked, walking over and snatching the drink out of my hand.

"Just um...just ya know...havin' a beer." I mumbled.

"Are you crazy? First of all you shouldn't be drinking this in the first place, especially right now, and second of all why would you call me over here if you wanted to do something you know you shouldn't be doing?" he asked, slamming it down on the counter.

"I didn't think you were coming." I responded quietly.

"Sit down." he sighed.

I walked over to the living room and sat down on my couch.

He stood there, seemingly deep in thought for a few minutes before walking over and sitting down next to me.

"You know I wish things were different..." he started.

"So do something about it." I urged.

"You also know I can't. Especially not now. With this whole scandal..."

"It's not a scandal! It's real life!" I exclaimed.

"I can't do that to Kristina..." he said quietly.

"You can't hurt her but you can hurt me?" I asked.

"No! I'm here aren't I?" he exclaimed. I nodded.

He took one of my hands in his.

"If we're going to get through this you can't do stuff like this anymore ok?" he asked. I nodded and adverted my eyes.

"Look at me." he said softly. I looked up and he reached over, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"We'll make it through this." he said firmly, almost enough to make me believe him.

"What about your precious reputation?" I asked rolling my eyes.

He didn't say anything.

"You know something?" he said after a minute.

"I can't remember the last time you weren't mad at me for something." he said, not waiting for an answer.

I felt myself begin to cry again...damn emotions running wild.

"What are you mad at me for?" he asked quietly. I knew he wasn't asking directly. I knew he was asking why I'd been so upset in general.

"Because I love you." I said quietly. Even when we'd been going out I'd never said I'd loved him.

"You're mad at me because you love me?" he asked, smiling slightly as he reached over and wiped a tear off my face.

"Because you don't love me anymore." I admitted.

"Who ever said that?" he asked.

"You didn't need to. You're dating Kristina." I snapped.

"If I could go back in time and change that I would." he replied calmly.

"So why don't you break up with her then?" I asked.

"Because...look I'm not supposed to say anything but according to Cooper, we're losing popularity. Ever since Thomas started playing Disney girls and Alex's temporary lapses of Enthusiasm and mine and Kristina's fight and you disappearing all the time...if we get any more drama the band will be ruined."

"So you're dating her to protect everyone?" I asked.

"I'm not going to lie...at first it was real. I thought. I was mad and upset over you still and she was there and so ready and..."

"There has not been a day that's gone by that I didn't wish I could take all that Michele stuff back." I interjected.

He smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"One day we'll be Natalina again." he whispered causing me to laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.

"I'm gonna have to disappear." I replied, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"I know. And when no one's looking I'll come visit you in seclusion." he said jokingly.

"Every time I see you together it's like hell." I said.

He pulled me closer to him. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Do you love her?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"No. I don't think I ever will."

I smiled to myself.

"But you? That's a different story. I love you. I always will, Rosalina." he said, resting his head on top of mine.

"I love you too." I said, my smile getting bigger before we leaned back and fell asleep eventually, still entangled in that hug.